Strange Strangers

Vida Loca

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
190
Likes
677
Points
93
Location
Somewhere...out there...
#1
Just wondering who else must have an invisible tattoo on their forehead saying 'oddball magnet' or something. I must possess one of those faces that seem to unfortunately attract them from far and wide. Went out to the Karaoke night at our local last night and spent half my night fending off nut jobs and weirdos. I don't travel by bus these days but when I did they always used to chose to sit by or very near me. Have had completely 'strange strangers' trying to latch onto me or come up to me in the street. No matter how you try you can't get rid of them. However I am deploying a new tactic that seems to be working so far ( fingers crossed) which seems to thwart their approaches after a while. I also have developed a protection ruse from 'energy vampires' who can be a real problem. Would love to hear about your experiences of this and/or any theories/stories of 'strange strangers'.
 
Last edited:

Ulalume

tart of darkness
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
3,080
Likes
5,473
Points
219
Location
Tejas
#6
Just wondering who else must have an invisible tattoo on their forehead saying 'oddball magnet' or something. I must possess one of those faces that seem to unfortunately attract them from far and wide. Went out to the Karaoke night at our local last night and spent half my night fending off nut jobs and weirdos. I don't travel by bus these days but when I did they always used to chose to sit by or very near me. Have had completely 'strange strangers' trying to latch onto me or come up to me in the street. No matter how you try you can't get rid of them. However I am deploying a new tactic that seems to be working so far ( fingers crossed) which seems to thwart their approaches after a while. I also have developed a protection ruse from 'energy vampires' who can be a real problem. Would love to hear about your experiences of this and/or any theories/stories of 'strange strangers'.
Oh, yes, I am a nut magnet. But it's all right, I've met some interesting people that way. :)
 

Iris

Justified & Ancient
Joined
May 22, 2004
Messages
1,574
Likes
1,750
Points
184
#7
I think some people are incredibly lonely. I seem to attract some while I'm shopping. So before I move along if they start to talk I exchange a few words and they often seem happier.
Of course there are some I would freeze off if they seemed like weirdos.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
Messages
3,960
Likes
6,927
Points
234
#9
Just wondering who else must have an invisible tattoo on their forehead saying 'oddball magnet' or something. I must possess one of those faces...

I am deploying a new tactic that seems to be working so far ( fingers crossed) which seems to thwart their approaches after a while.
1. Despite being what could charitably be described as “aesthetically challenged”, l experience this from time to time. l think of it as the “Flypaper for Fuckwits Syndrome”. If one is female and not difficult to look at, it must be incomparably worse.

2. Do tell. Does it involve cracking invisible lice between the thumbnails? Tense conversations with the imaginary Alsatian dwelling in your trousers?

maximus otter
 

Vida Loca

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
190
Likes
677
Points
93
Location
Somewhere...out there...
#12
Thanks for your replies and my best friend who sadly passed away some years back had it worse than me. She would be sitting on a bench somewhere and people would gravitate towards her sit down and pour their life story out to her without her saying a word. It used to amaze me. Similarly all kinds of weird people would be attracted to her and all their woes would pour out, She had a very kindly face so maybe that had a lot to do with it. I often joked she would have made a good spy or detective as she didn't have to do a thing to get people to spill the beans.

So, the latest ploys I have is to mention 'My husband' at every opportunity during a conversation ( if it is a male bothering me), looking extremely bored and ignoring them ( bit rude I know but justified) and being rather abrupt. I think the 'Look' would work my Hubby is a king at the icy glare with flashing eyes LOL. However I cant perfect it unfortunately. Finally, yes a lot of it is down to loneliness and I don't mind chatting away to lonely people even if it can get a bit wearing. However some are just a plain nuisance or extremely odd and even scary at times.
 

AnonyJoolz

Captainess Sensible
Joined
Nov 1, 2015
Messages
645
Likes
1,732
Points
134
Location
Having a nice cup of tea and a sit-down.
#13
....She would be sitting on a bench somewhere and people would gravitate towards her sit down and pour their life story out to her without her saying a word. It used to amaze me. Similarly all kinds of weird people would be attracted to her and all their woes would pour out, She had a very kindly face so maybe that had a lot to do with it. I often joked she would have made a good spy or detective as she didn't have to do a thing to get people to spill the beans...
This happens to me, too! I think others maybe think I'm a good listener, and empathetic. Happy to listen if I'm well enough to cope, if it helps them.
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
Messages
6,415
Likes
7,164
Points
284
#19
I grin and nod at people, but i have a habit of just talking to people if i am looking at anything at the supermarket, i also grab any guy tall enough to reach the pop at the back of the shelf. Also when you go out shopping with a mate, does this happen to you? ' Turns around
'Does this hat look good' to a perfect stranger, 'Damn, she moved.get back over here, im talking to some strange man'
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
10,874
Likes
11,345
Points
294
Location
Out of Bounds
#20
... but a good number of autistics report being the people magnet. The theory is that we don't give off the body language etc that warns people off.
Couldn't it also be the case that some autistics' idle behaviors may give the impression they're not otherwise occupied, perhaps a bit nervous, and would likely welcome some company?
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
26,563
Likes
10,855
Points
284
#24
When I do go out, I notice if someone is looking at me they have an expression of utter horror on their face, which is disconcerting, especially when I make a point of keeping myself to myself. Maybe I should start wearing trousers.
 

Vida Loca

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
190
Likes
677
Points
93
Location
Somewhere...out there...
#27
Well Scribbles what I do is keep my lower solar plexus area covered by hands or arms. Sounds daft I know but it makes me feel protected and I suppose gives me the ability to feel protected and act accordingly. Yes whether anyone believes in energy vampires or not the fact is some people can suck the heck out of your energy levels, enthusiasm and whatever. They are toxic and seem to thrive on sapping and draining you then dumping negativity on you then move on to someone else. Conversations are really wearing. Here is some more on the subject for you.

https://medium.com/thrive-global/5-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-energy-vampires-5a8a88a61f92
 

Ulalume

tart of darkness
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
3,080
Likes
5,473
Points
219
Location
Tejas
#28
Well Scribbles what I do is keep my lower solar plexus area covered by hands or arms. Sounds daft I know but it makes me feel protected and I suppose gives me the ability to feel protected and act accordingly. Yes whether anyone believes in energy vampires or not the fact is some people can suck the heck out of your energy levels, enthusiasm and whatever. They are toxic and seem to thrive on sapping and draining you then dumping negativity on you then move on to someone else. Conversations are really wearing. Here is some more on the subject for you.

https://medium.com/thrive-global/5-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-energy-vampires-5a8a88a61f92
Yup. While I have a hard time sensing the energy drainers (I always just figured they rubbed me the wrong way and so left me feeling icky) I've known a couple of people over the years who actually admitted they drained people on purpose.

It's hard for me to even imagine such a process, but I guess it's a thing.
 

AnonyJoolz

Captainess Sensible
Joined
Nov 1, 2015
Messages
645
Likes
1,732
Points
134
Location
Having a nice cup of tea and a sit-down.
#29
Could we find out more about this, please? I don't find strangers draining, even strange strangers, but yee gods some people I know are real energy suckers and I can't always just avoid them.
The other technique is to seem interested and converse with them - but be as interesting as a 'grey rock' - ie, not feeding their drama/attention/narcissism https://www.thriveafterabuse.com/going-gray-rock/ it's hard to do but it does work.
 

Vida Loca

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
190
Likes
677
Points
93
Location
Somewhere...out there...
#30
I can't imagine sucking peoples energy either Ulalume but what I have noticed over the years is that there are some people who are unable to energise themselves positively so they gravitate towards those who can and steal their energy etc. Same with Doom mongers.

I have tried the 'seem interested' technique AnonyJoolz I found it wearing and it only seemed to encourage more of the same as they seem to pick up on the slightest interest. Turning away and engaging with someone else or bringing them into the conversation or subject matter helps too.
 
Top