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The Jerk On The Cell Phone

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Anonymous

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Some people think it is dangerous to talk on a cell phone while driving. I think some people shouldn’t walk and talk on the phone...

During the summer of 2003, on a beautiful sunny workday lunch hour, I was feeding the wild ducks from a wharf overlooking Lake Ontario, when a powerfully-built, bald-headed, broad-shouldered, angry-looking, 6’ 3” man in a sharkskin business suit came charging and pointing his index finger at me menacingly, saying: “Let me tell you about the five thousand dollars, fella!”

I don’t know why but I immediately assumed I had been wrongly targeted by a Mafia hit-man for some unpaid debt. I backed off to the point of teetering on the brink of the wharf, five foot from the water level, dropped my bread in the lake and generally scared the ducks and geese that flew away in a panic. This being Canada, I saw on the faces of onlookers that many of them were willing to come to my rescue. Then the jerk – who was actually looking right through me and not at me while talking to somebody else on a nearly-invisible hands-free cell phone apparatus – veered away and continued his financial conversation without ever apparently having seen me at all. Having barely recovered my breath, I didn’t think of pursuing him to make him realize that he had nearly thrown me off the wharf.

I blame this incident on the hypnotic hold cell phones have on their users, a hold capable of transforming anyone into a babbling, irresponsible and potentially homicidal moron.
 
So, was the guy on the cell really Skunk Ape? It had to be since it was Canada. Nice people and Skunk Apes, two of Canada's most precious natural resources.:laughing:
 
Guild Navigator said:
Nice people and Skunk Apes, two of Canada's most precious natural resources.:laughing:
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Eh, I've never heard of a Skunk Ape but I do know Nice People are fast becoming an endangered species, even in Canada.
 
Big Foot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Gigantapithicus, take your pick.
Good people are everywere. The real problem is that we rarely acknowledge them since good deeds can be so easily taken for granted and forgotten as compared to the shenanigans of your typical lily livered acehole.
 
LOL! Bara, the first person I encountered in public using a hands free cell phone I thought must be a ranting lunatic, but I thought it was odd that he was so well dressed :D

Good people are everywere. The real problem is that we rarely acknowledge them since good deeds can be so easily taken for granted and forgotten as compared to the shenanigans of your typical lily livered acehole.
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Very good point Guild! I try to be a nice person and do the right thing by all the people I encounter and at times I just want to toss up my arms and say fk it because most people just take advantage ( or so they think ) of you.
Then it happens to you.... in 2002 I recieved a letter from a girl I had not seen since 1980, she had hired a pvt detective to find me just so she could tell me that all the long talks we had way back then had stayed with her for 22 years and she just wanted me to know that my kindness had helped her all those years! We are now in contact a lot and she helped me know that no matter how much one feels like a chump or a sucker for helping out a fellow human, it is good to be good.
Peace!
=^..^=217
 
BuckeyeJones said:
I thought it was odd that he was so well dressed :D
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Not odd at all. The foot of Bay Street is close to the stock exchange district and a high-end condominium part of town. I was more surprised by the man's size and demeanour.
 
I used to get calls in my cell from a drunken woman who would say 'hello, booboo!' and then when i denied being booboo would demand to know what i was doing with his phone. I presume some idiot somewhere didn't want her to know his phone number, so had made up one that happened to mine. It only stopped when i got the 'hello, booboo!' and i answered, 'hello yogi! going to jellystone?'.
 
I read this and even though its not at all Fortean, I nearly wet myself reading about it.
I have my own story of nuicance involving "people who have no control over their bodies whilst on the mobile." When at work recently, I found myself in an almost empty office, browsing the net, when this bloke strolled by, entered "our area" and kept on looking over my shoulder (which caused me to immediately close down my browser and continue to "work"). All the while speaking on his mobile. Then he walked off to the other end of "our area" (where only our team is sitting) and then came slowly back, stopping right behind my chair, seemingly looking at my computer but really he was in another world. I nearly ellbowed him thats how annoying I found his behaviour. When he had finished, he almost looked amazed as he realised how far he had ventured during his call.
They are like sleepwalkers when on the phone....
 
I saw the largest person I have ever seen in Toronto... he must have been 7 foot tall, 6 foot wide with a skinhead, dressed in shorts with knee-length white socks, trainers and a white vest and a goatee beard... rather like one of Los Angeles' Chicano gang members. He was leaning on a huge 70s Cadillac, which he dwarfed. He just oozed menace. I'm quite bear-like myself, but I crossed the street to avoid this bloke (this was up near Ed Mirvish's Emporium, if anyone knows it):D
 
i saw an rather well to do lady talking to the meat in the freezer section of a supermarket.she was right up to it bent over in the cold shelf saying 'no,you don't like that do you?' when she stood up it was clear to see she was on the blower talking to someone who mustn't have liked it.It was too late however as i had already pointed her on to passers by and workers alike as a 'woman talking to the meat'.
What did people do before mobile phones???How did they let each other know exactly where they were when they really weren't anywhere???
 
Yes, is it really necessary to tell people that you are: ..."now on the bus"..."now at the corner"..."now right in front of your door"...?
But to keep this Fortean, apart from the Nigerian mobile phone scare has anyone ever had any really strange things happening with their phones?
All I can remember is this. Once I visited my friend and her mobile was just lyong there on the table, when it started ringing. She answered and nobody was there. So she checked who called her and it was her DOMESTIC PHONE. Now it had been in the same room with us and nobody else was in the hose. How can that happen?
 
....or the guy standing next to me in the bog yaking away on his mobile and standing there with his nob out long after he's finished peeing cos he couldn't put it away with one hand. Still stood there when I left. :)
 
That's why it's best to sit down when you pee. ;)
 
Weird thing I've had happen thats kinda phone related, was had a spooky human whistle bleed over the old external modems speaker, (It kinda seemed like when CB's would bleed into that or my stereo) but no convo only a spooky song being whistled.

Once someone called my Aunt when she was home alone and told her they were in her house (but this was before callerid was everywhere) and Nobody was ever found, but it freaked her out at the time .
 
What's going to happen when mobiles get so small that you can slip them inside your ear and there aren't any wires at all? There'll be no way to tell the nutcases from the (relatively) normal people. All those hairy people on park benches shouting at no one could just be on the phone.
 
According to an article I read on f.t., your throat and vocal chord muscles actually move when you are just thinking the words in your head (Irc the American military were interested in using this for coms in noisy places where even phase reversal noise cancelling won't work properly) and this can be picked up and translated into sound by computer. So, with this technology and flick's earole fone you won't even be able to tell they're on the mobile.
Mind you, the cia etc will love this technology, spies will have to train not to think in words under interrogation!;)
 
Hello, everyone...this is my first post here. The strangest thing that I've ever experienced with my cell phone was one time around last Christmas when my daughter & I were visiting at my sister's house. Their phone rang, and the call display indicated that the call was coming from my cell phone!! At the time, it was upstairs, turned off & at the bottom of my luggage....:eek!!!!:

This had never happened before or since, & there was no record of the call in my phone's call log. Needless to say, we were all pretty creeped out...
 
According to an article I read on f.t., your throat and vocal chord muscles actually move when you are just thinking the words in your head

That's true actually - I catch myself doing that all the time (like now while typing!) I thought it was just my sad prediliction for rehearsing things in my mind before saying them :( but perhaps it's not just me??
 
My phone is 3" in length and I have long curly hair so phone is virtually invisible. I get the weirdest looks from people in the street. I try to stare at anything but other people. I noticed last weekend a couple of men on two different occasions who obviously thought they were Dom Joly absolutely hollering into their mobile phones for the whole street to hear. I went into a shop and could still hear one chap yacking away outside - unbelievable.

Don't agree with people using mobiles when driving but I see it EVERYDAY. My uncle was killed 18 months ago by a man driving while using his mobile. Disgusting.

I could never understand people accidentally dialling 999 when there phones were in pockets/bags, etc. Until one day, my phone had managed to unlock itself and 999 was on the screen ready to be called. Just one more knock...

Rang my ex-husband once while he was at work and somehow the phone answered my call while it was still in his pocket. Listened to about 2 minutes of rustling and muffled conversation til I rang off.

The ones that annoy me are people getting their phones out of their pockets/bags every 5 minutes and looking at the screen. Why???
 
The ones that annoy me are people getting their phones out of their pockets/bags every 5 minutes and looking at the screen. Why???
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They're in lllluuuuuuuurrrrrrvvvve.......:D
 
Or they want to know the time. I keep the time as a screensaver on my (very basic) mobile, due to tendency to accidentally destroy watches.
 
I'm considering walking around with my mobile in my hand and a hands free thing stuck in my ear to excuse the fact that I talk to myself (thinking out loud) when I'm doing the shopping :yabba: I dun 'alf get some funny looks. Just the other day I was walking up the road and more than likely muttering away to myself, when I became aware that someone was behind me, I turned around to see a small woman power walking, she went :eek: and practically ran past me. I hope I wasn't imagining myself strangling D'Mother ...
 
Some mobile phones will still allow you to dial 999 (or other local emergency access numbers such as 911 and 112) with the keys locked. My Ericsson would, as I've just tried it (but obviously I didn't hit "Call").
 
My old phone dialled 999 while in my jeans pocket a couple of years ago. I only found out when the emergency operator rang me back to give me a b*ll*cking.

Don't think she was too pleased as I thought she was my mate trying to pull my leg and I offered certain uncomplimentary advice concerning sex and travel. :D
 
Forty2 said:
....or the guy standing next to me in the bog yaking away on his mobile and standing there with his nob out long after he's finished peeing cos he couldn't put it away with one hand. Still stood there when I left. :)
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This is my first year at college and EVERYONE here has cell phones. The girls talk away to their boyfriends on their cellphone while they're in the toilet stall... Disturbs me greatly. Now after reading this, I don't know if I'm less disturbed, or more. :(

The other day I had a (vaguely) similar experience to the person who started this thread. I was standing in the hallway outside of one of my art class, speaking to one of my friends. A guy came out of a room, holding a cell phone to his ear, and asked us how long a particular set of photographs was going to be up in the gallery. We answered and he walked away, cell phone held to his ear the entire time. I turned to my friend and asked, "He WAS talking to us, right...?"

Also drives me crazy when people are standing in a grocery store aisle, they answer their phone, and the first thing I hear is "Hello? ...Oh not much, just shopping! How are you?"
Probably a stupid thing to be bothered by, but I do wish the casual conversation could just wait until later. *sigh*
 
Along the lines of what Bobzilla posted...
I thoroughly detest these infernal devices, and resisted having to purchase one until it became a necessity for my job. (grumble, harumph) I only gave the number to the missus, and my boss. As soon as I get home from work my 'electronic leash' comes off. So I was very surprised one evening when the two of us (wife and I) returned home after going out to a restaurant and my cell phone was beeping to indicate I had missed a call. I grabbed it, and it showed my home phone number !! The wife asked how that could possibly be, and I replied a MIB had obviously unlocked the front door, gone to our phone and dialed my cell phone, but bugger if I can figure out how he got the number !!!

BTW it's strictly an outlaw thing, but cell phone jammers are available for purchase, and they do work !!!
 
I'm probably one of those people that takes their mobile out of their pocket every five minutes. This is because I'm too lazy to change my ringtone and so, it seems, is everybody else. Also, since I got a phone that vibrates, I also suffer from imaginary vibrations in my leg. No, really! I just have to take it out and check but I really can feel some sort of vibrationary sensation. This must be a symptom of the 21st century. Or else it's just me.
 
Breezilla said:
Also drives me crazy when people are standing in a grocery store aisle, they answer their phone, and the first thing I hear is "Hello? ...Oh not much, just shopping! How are you?"
Probably a stupid thing to be bothered by, but I do wish the casual conversation could just wait until later. *sigh*
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I also feel this way! I don't know maybe it's just me but I can't believe people feel they can't be away from a phone long enough just to do a little shopping! I don't have a cell phone and don't want one. I understand there are times when one is appropriate, but come on people, I don't think being away from a phone for and hour or so will bring about the end of the world! Grrrr I will shut up now before I go into this huge rant lol.
 
Lobelia Overhill,

Glad it's not just me then. I often have conversations with myself (either in my head or talking outload when I think no-one else can hear me (this is best done in the car as if people can see your lips moving they either think you are on the phone (PLEASE NOT WHILE DRIVING) or singing along to the radio). Get lots of funny looks while walking down the road but I don't care.

I always talked to my daughter as if we were having a conversation from the day she was born and even now, she's nearly four, I get really funny looks. Yes, children can talk and they can answer back too.
 
(I started this thread and I admit I missed the last 50 posts or so because, you see, I don't own a phone gadget that alerts me - loudly - everytime somebody posts here...)

I'm sure you've all seen this comedian (was it Ray Romano?) on TV making fun of cellphones in his stand-up routine at the Montreal Comedy Festival, saying (I paraphrase): "Pretty soon they'll invent a cellphone that is actually an invisible implant in your ear and all you have to do is tap your ear when a call comes in and go 'Hold on, I've got someone on the other line' and then tap your other ear, and then 'Hold on, oh my! I have a fax coming in!'." And he looks at his own derrière expectingly...
 
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