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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

As you know I follow Jennifer Dodgson, who translates ancient Chinese texts on her weblog. Highly recommended!
Just now she has translated this ancient dialogue on sexual practices:
https://jenniferdodgson.wixsite.com/warringstates/tenquestions

This text mentions the "five sounds" that the woman is expected to make in succesfull sexual intercourse:
After penetration, when the spirit is untroubled, the five sounds[7] proceed harmoniously one after the other, allowing you to assess the response, inhale the subtle vapours and drink the heavenly elixir.

Then on Twitter she wonders if anyone knows what those "five sounds" are:
P.S. I have no idea what the "five noises" sounded like. If anyone has read them written down (and can record them), enquiring minds would like to know.

And the Twitter community gives the answer:
I don't remember if Van Gulik wrote about 五音, but in Art of the Bedchamber
The Chinese Sexual Yoga Classics Including Women's Solo Meditation Texts by Douglas Wile, 1992 (p. 77-82):


View attachment 50912

View attachment 50913

Isn't classical Sinology fascinating? :cool:
So you learn all that to keep him happy.
 
So you learn all that to keep him happy.

On the flip side, back in the very early 90's, I was once talking to a woman (an Australian) who told me she had slept with a Chinese man who had had a number of pearls stitched into the topside of his penis. The idea behind this, was that it created a ridged feeling and extra stimulation for his partner.
Now, it sounded like complete bullshit to me, but she told me that some wealthy Chinese did this as a way to show off their wealth, and it was also a 'thing' within the criminal side of Chinese society - eg: those in criminal gangs like the Triads.
I have just Googled this term; ''Chinese stitching pearls into penis for stimulation'' and this was the first result (although it tells of it happening in Japanese culture).

https://bodyartguru.com/pearling-or-genital-beading/

The things you (or some people) do! o_O
 
On the flip side, back in the very early 90's, I was once talking to a woman (an Australian) who told me she had slept with a Chinese man who had had a number of pearls stitched into the topside of his penis. The idea behind this, was that it created a ridged feeling and extra stimulation for his partner.
Now, it sounded like complete bullshit to me, but she told me that some wealthy Chinese did this as a way to show off their wealth, and it was also a 'thing' within the criminal side of Chinese society - eg: those in criminal gangs like the Triads.
I have just Googled this term; ''Chinese stitching pearls into penis for stimulation'' and this was the first result (although it tells of it happening in Japanese culture).

https://bodyartguru.com/pearling-or-genital-beading/

The things you (or some people) do! o_O
Yup, pearling. I first read about that when browsing the always fascinating BMJ. Every edition has one weird paper for us freaks to enjoy. :cool:

The belief in the importance of penile texturing persists to the extent of the substitution by poorer men of fine gravel for pearls.
 
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As you know I follow Jennifer Dodgson, who translates ancient Chinese texts on her weblog. Highly recommended!
Just now she has translated this ancient dialogue on sexual practices:
https://jenniferdodgson.wixsite.com/warringstates/tenquestions

This text mentions the "five sounds" that the woman is expected to make in succesfull sexual intercourse:
After penetration, when the spirit is untroubled, the five sounds[7] proceed harmoniously one after the other, allowing you to assess the response, inhale the subtle vapours and drink the heavenly elixir.

Then on Twitter she wonders if anyone knows what those "five sounds" are:
P.S. I have no idea what the "five noises" sounded like. If anyone has read them written down (and can record them), enquiring minds would like to know.

And the Twitter community gives the answer:
I don't remember if Van Gulik wrote about 五音, but in Art of the Bedchamber
The Chinese Sexual Yoga Classics Including Women's Solo Meditation Texts by Douglas Wile, 1992 (p. 77-82):


View attachment 50912

View attachment 50913

Isn't classical Sinology fascinating? :cool:

ls a “jade pod” anything like a Nespresso pod? lf so, l’ve been doing it wrong, too, because l just use my walloper.

maximus otter

Asking for a friend. Dammit, too late…
 
I've spent time 'relaxing' with a Thai gentleman who had the same thing. And before you ask... I don't know... because our 'relaxing' didn't get to that particular activity.
Have to say that were I ever in that enviable, er, position I'd be full of curiosity of a decidedly non-erotic kind.

Ooh, what, wow! Put the big light on!
:rollingw:
 
So you can inject silicon! Breast implants come to mind. Not entirely funny, since it also brings to mind the health problems women have had with silicon implants. Though the idea of the poorer man's option is gravel :omg:.
 
Any one here want to try scrotox ?

Warning: picture of male genitals that have had botox injected into the scrotum

iu.jpeg

;)

maximus otter
 
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Any one here want to try scrotox ?

Warning: picture of male genitals that have had botox injected into the scrotum
Fascinating! I conclude that David by Michelangelo had the same procedure:

1642780172624.png

That whole website is a fascinating rabbit hole BTW :) For example, they use Apomorphine for erectile dysfunction. But that's the stuff that cured William Burrough of his junk addiction. Strange ...

Apomorphine(APO) "Viagra of Europe". Apo and tad/sil are like ibuprofen/Motrin and acetaminophen/Tylenol. They accomplish the same thing, but in slightly different ways. The combination of both gives a better effect than just increasing individual dosage. The only patient who would not benefit from adding APO to the tad/sil is someone who has issues with premature orgasms.

Burroughs:
https://apomorphine.info/?page_id=6017
 
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Fascinating! I conclude that David by Michelangelo had the same procedure:


That whole website is a fascinating rabbit hole BTW :) For example, they use Apomorphine for erectile dysfunction. But that's the stuff that cured William Burrough of his junk addiction. Strange ...

Apomorphine(APO) "Viagra of Europe". Apo and tad/sil are like ibuprofen/Motrin and acetaminophen/Tylenol. They accomplish the same thing, but in slightly different ways. The combination of both gives a better effect than just increasing individual dosage. The only patient who would not benefit from adding APO to the tad/sil is someone who has issues with premature orgasms.

Burroughs:
https://apomorphine.info/?page_id=6017
Souvenirs featuring The Genitals are everywhere in Florence. You can't move without getting David's balls in your face. :omg:
 
Who does he think he is, an angry chef?
Who knew that spunk will sink to the bottom of a cup of tea?

Yeah, he should consider a career change to kitchen work.

Joking aside, there's actually a new(ish) mental health support charity that the Mrs's company supports called The Burnt Chef for people with mental health problems working in hospitality. It's that common.

https://www.theburntchefproject.com/
 
I saw this on Twitter, but chose not to Google it:

View attachment 51073

And someone then posted this link: A Berlin pro-zoophilia event (? didn't check that ?) :
https://www.ruptly.tv/en/videos/20140201-021-Germany-Zoophilia-on-parade-in-Berlin

Research at your own risk. I didn't. I once Googled a similar topic with the attitude "no that can't be true, I'm being trolled" ... well ... it was too graphic.
The bloke being interviewed does rather fit the stereotype, doesn't he? Fat, unhygienic-looking, only likely to have sex with a partner who's looking the other way.
 
Who knew that spunk will sink to the bottom of a cup of tea?

Yeah, he should consider a career change to kitchen work.

Joking aside, there's actually a new(ish) mental health support charity that the Mrs's company supports called The Burnt Chef for people with mental health problems working in hospitality. It's that common.

https://www.theburntchefproject.com/
I KNEW you'd like the angry chef. :chuckle:

It's sad that there's a need for a support charity but not surprising. Catering is sooo stressful.
 
I KNEW you'd like the angry chef. :chuckle:

It's sad that there's a need for a support charity but not surprising. Catering is sooo stressful.
I'd have guessed at least one out of three chefs are the reincarnation of Keith Moon, The Burnt Chef project reports 8 out of 10 chefs have had mental health problems at one point or another :(. I've never been officially employed as a chef but I've had to cover in loads of places when some chef has been arrested, made homeless, committed suicide, OD'd, turned up drunk or high, been caught having sex with a customer or waitress, punched someone, trashed the kitchen or bar ... the last chef I worked with physically attacked the building itself and two windows had to be replaced .. etc etc etc ... (not all the same chef I should add). Most of them are barking but brilliant fun when you keep them happy. I've worked with some really talented people. Chef has final say on the music in the kitchen. The volume is sometimes a point of contention :). It's probably best to keep them away from your sister. It's sometimes best not to accept a lift home from a chef.
 
There is a very small mortality rate for engaging in sex, with most deaths occurring suddenly during or shortly after sex. Recent research indicates that such sex-related sudden death isn't as concentrated in older men as previously supposed.
Lots of People Die Every Year During or After Having Sex. A Pathologist Explains Why

DAVID C GAZE, THE CONVERSATION 25 JANUARY 2022

Sex has many beneficial physical and psychological effects, including reducing high blood pressure, improving the immune system and aiding better sleep. ...

But there's a dark side: people sometimes die during or shortly after sex. The incidence is, thankfully, extremely low and accounts for 0.6 percent of all cases of sudden death.

There are many reasons why this happens to people. In most cases, it is caused by the physical strain of the sexual activity, or prescription drugs (drugs to treat erectile dysfunction, for example), or illegal drugs, such as cocaine – or both.

The risk of any sudden cardiac death is higher as people age. ...

Sudden death occurred mostly in men (average age 59 years) and the most frequent cause was a heart attack, also known as myocardial infarction. ...

Recently, however, researchers at St George's, University of London, found that this phenomenon is not just limited to middle-aged men.

The study, which is published in JAMA Cardiology, investigated sudden cardiac death in 6,847 cases referred to the center for cardiac pathology at St George's between January 1994 and August 2020.

Of these, 17 (0.2 percent) occurred either during or within one hour of sexual activity. The average (mean) age of death was 38 years, and 35 percent of the cases occurred in women, which is higher than in previous studies.

These deaths were typically not caused by heart attacks, as seen in older men. In half of the cases (53 percent), the heart was found to be structurally normal and a sudden abnormal heart rhythm called sudden arrhythmic death syndrome or SADS was the cause of death.

Aortic dissection was the second largest cause (12 percent). This is where the layers in the wall of the large artery from the heart supplying blood around the body tear and blood flows between the layers causing it to bulge and burst.

The remaining cases were due to structural anomalies such as cardiomyopathy (a disease of the heart muscle that makes it harder for the heart to pump blood to the rest of your body), or from a rare group of genetic conditions known as channelopathies. ...
FULL STORY: https://www.sciencealert.com/lots-o...r-after-having-sex-a-pathologist-explains-why


PUBLISHED RESEARCH REPORT:
Finocchiaro G, Westaby J, Behr ER, Papadakis M, Sharma S, Sheppard MN.
Association of Sexual Intercourse With Sudden Cardiac Death in Young Individuals in the United Kingdom.
JAMA Cardiol. 2022 Jan 12.
doi: 10.1001/jamacardio.2021.5532.
Epub ahead of print. PMID: 35019956.

SOURCE: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35019956/
 
Following on from post a few above, reminded me of this chap, he died from it I believe, but it's popular with a small sub section aof a certain community.
 

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Chinese engineers have made a fleshlight look like amateur hour when it comes to masturbatory aids.


You'd be exhausted by the time you'd strapped yourself in. In fact, can you strap youself in or is another pair of hands needed? It all looks mighty complex for the result when let's be honest, it's not going to feel 10 x better than usual.
 
Looks like a modern take on stuff you'd find in medieval torture chambers.
:)
 
Suspected leader of banned pedoclub is in Mexico, says his lawyer

Nelson M. (27), who had to go to court today because he would have continued the banned pedophile association Martijn, is in Mexico. According to his lawyer Theo Hiddema, the man from Lelystad applied for political asylum there. Two other suspects in this case, Marthijn U. and Norbert de J. from Hengelo, are also not there.

Before the court in Rotterdam, the case is ongoing against Martijn's three suspects. The Supreme Court banned that club in 2014, because its members glorified and promoted sexual relationships between adults and children. Justice demanded this afternoon against the trio a year in prison.

U., who is defended by lawyer Sidney Smeets, was chairman of Martijn for many years. According to RTV Oost, he has sold his house and would be planning to leave for a country in South America. Where the J. is, is not known.

'He's 9000 kilometres away'
According to the Public Prosecution Service, the trio has used several websites, Twitter accounts and a mailing list for years to continue the work of the banned association Martijn underground. "Children have again been portrayed as objects of lust and sexual beings," the prosecutors said.

According to the prosecutors, the suspects were "very sophisticated". "Very bad. They have no respect for the rule of law." According to the Public Prosecution Service, this happened between April 2014 and March 2021.

Hiddema told the court that his client Nelson M. only told him where he is last night. "I received a very late message that he has applied for political asylum in Mexico. He's 9,000 kilometers away."

Nelson M. must also come to court at a later stage for the possession of 10,000 images with child pornography, writes Omroep Flevoland.

https://nos.nl/artikel/2415411-verdachte-verboden-pedoclub-zit-in-mexico-zegt-zijn-advocaat
 
Quite a packed headline here, but the perp does have a record.

Safe NW news website -
Pervert with mannequin fetish performed sex act in front of train passengers including schoolgirl

A pervert with a "masturbation addiction" and a mannequin fetish performed a sex act in front of a group of train passengers - including a schoolgirl.

The child took a photo on her phone to show to the train guard.

Mark Williams, formerly known and convicted under the name Osian Winters, claimed he wasn’t performing a sex act on himself but was using a sex toy he found in a pub.
Williams 'claimed he wasn’t performing a sex act on himself but was using a sex toy he found in a pub.'
Ewww. :hahazebs:
 
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