Weird Sex

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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She's not strong enough.
Ryder was though ..


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-146375/Winona-Ryder-guilty-shoplifting.html

I caught another shoplifter a couple of days ago (I hate having to do it, it's not even my job except we're told it is) .. I didn't have any back up, whatever she'd stolen was in her jeans pocket, her mum and a crowd or people were watching me and there's no way I'm frisking a young woman so I let her walk back through the barrier with it again going off .. all I could do was tell the boss she had a pink and white leather handbag shaped like a heart. I'll relax when we get an official security guard within the next couple of weeks and until then, fuck it .. I'm not batman, good luck to the thieves.
 

lordmongrove

Justified & Ancient
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Ryder was though ..


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-146375/Winona-Ryder-guilty-shoplifting.html

I caught another shoplifter a couple of days ago (I hate having to do it, it's not even my job except we're told it is) .. I didn't have any back up, whatever she'd stolen was in her jeans pocket, her mum and a crowd or people were watching me and there's no way I'm frisking a young woman so I let her walk back through the barrier with it again going off .. all I could do was tell the boss she had a pink and white leather handbag shaped like a heart. I'll relax when we get an official security guard within the next couple of weeks and until then, fuck it .. I'm not batman, good luck to the thieves.
She's not strong enough to lift shops. That would take Godzilla.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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'sexually violating a body that was lying in a coffin' - see now, how do you do that? I can see problems.

1. The coffin is in a fridge. No space for shenanigans.
or
2. The coffin is on a stand of some kind. It'd overbalance and fall off.

3. When you get into the coffin to have sex, you'd have to position the corpse first or you'd get nowhere.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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...sex dolls that look like children. It apparently isn't an offence to procure such a thing, and if they intercept a consignment, all they can do is flag the buyer...
Not correct.

Child sex dolls have been held to be obscene items since this case in 2017.

That means that it’s illegal to import them under the provisions of s.50(3) of the Customs and Excise Management Act 1979.

It is, however, not yet a specific offence simply to possess one.

maximus otter
 

Cochise

Antediluvian
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According to a Customs officer I know, there is a massive rise in the amount of those really lifelike sex dolls being imported into this country. The problem is that they are sex dolls that look like children. It apparently isn't an offence to procure such a thing, and if they intercept a consignment, all they can do is flag the buyer (rather than go round and burn his house down, which would be my reaction).

Actually, I wonder if it's better for paedophiles to be getting ultra-lifelike dolls, rather than luring in real youngsters (or becoming Members of Parliament) ? Nah, sod it, let's burn them...
They don't all look like children - if you want one that looks like a child then you have to pick it. There are adult looking ones as well - in fact the vast majority. So yes, someone ordering the child ones would deserve flagging. It's concerning that there is sufficient demand for them for some industrial combine in China to start churning them out.
 

maximus otter

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Egyptian woman imprisoned for 3 years for 'sexually harassing' a monkey:

An Egyptian court has sentenced a 25-year-old woman to three years in prison for 'sexually harassing' a monkey in the country's north, state daily Al-Ahram reported Friday.

A court in Mansoura city charged Basma Ahmed with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public', a judicial source told the newspaper.



She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral, particularly among young people and students, Al-Ahram said.

The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

At court she 'confessed... to the incident but said she did not mean to commit an indecent act and that she had been tickling the monkey'.

The video sparked a fierce backlash online in the conservative Muslim country.

Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ed-three-years-sexually-harassing-monkey.html

Dejected monkey Steve Jeffreys (not his real name) yesterday:



"She never calls, she never texts: Was our love a lie?"

maximus otter
 
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Egyptian woman imprisoned for 3 years for 'sexually harassing' a monkey:

An Egyptian court has sentenced a 25-year-old woman to three years in prison for 'sexually harassing' a monkey in the country's north, state daily Al-Ahram reported Friday.

A court in Mansoura city charged Basma Ahmed with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public', a judicial source told the newspaper.



She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral, particularly among young people and students, Al-Ahram said.

The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

At court she 'confessed... to the incident but said she did not mean to commit an indecent act and that she had been tickling the monkey'.

The video sparked a fierce backlash online in the conservative Muslim country.

Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ed-three-years-sexually-harassing-monkey.html

Dejected monkey Steve Jeffreys (not his real name) yesterday:



"She never calls, she never texts: Was our love a lie?"

maximus otter
She was never gibbon a chance.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Egyptian woman imprisoned for 3 years for 'sexually harassing' a monkey:

An Egyptian court has sentenced a 25-year-old woman to three years in prison for 'sexually harassing' a monkey in the country's north, state daily Al-Ahram reported Friday.

A court in Mansoura city charged Basma Ahmed with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public', a judicial source told the newspaper.



She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral, particularly among young people and students, Al-Ahram said.

The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

At court she 'confessed... to the incident but said she did not mean to commit an indecent act and that she had been tickling the monkey'.

The video sparked a fierce backlash online in the conservative Muslim country.

Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ed-three-years-sexually-harassing-monkey.html

Dejected monkey Steve Jeffreys (not his real name) yesterday:



"She never calls, she never texts: Was our love a lie?"

maximus otter
We've all been there.
 

AlienView

"Stargate Explorer"
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Today's question for the thinking mans {or womens] study of Human sexuality:

It may soon be possible to 'clone' Humans, even clone yourself; currently not possible or legal, someone rich
may still opt to have it done as soon as possible.

Say you have yourself cloned in the opposite sex - A biological clone of you in the other sex {for this question
we will consider only two sexes and leave transgender for another post}.

Say you are attracted to, and fall in love with yourself cloned to the opposite sex
- Could you or should you be considered guilty of incest if you have sex with your cloned self ?
 
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