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Whiskey Of Mass Destruction

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A distillery manager has told of his amazement after learning that US spies hunting weapons of mass destruction had been monitoring his whisky plant.
Bruichladdich Distillery on the island of Islay was contacted by the Defence Threat Reduction Agency (DTRA), after an agent clicked on to the distillery's website.

The woman revealed the organisation's interest in the whisky plant after alerting the distillery to the fact one of its webcams was faulty.

Cameras had been installed by the company to show off its traditional distilling techniques.

'Moving machinery'

The distillery's managing director Mark Reynier said all was revealed when he replied to the contact thanking her for pointing out the problem.

"We replied by e-mail thanking her very much for bringing to our attention," said Mr Reynier, 41.

"When I got a reply saying: 'We really do enjoy looking at your distillery,' it was then I noticed the sign-off at the bottom with the initials DTRA.

"I replied back saying I couldn't help noticing your address, and finally the reply came back giving a fantastic explanation about the agency's work was all to do with the anti-terrorist threat to American security.

"They said they had been monitoring our webcams because the process of making something very innocuous and pleasant is close to making weapons of mass destruction, apparently.

"We just think it is the funniest thing we have ever heard."

Mr Reynier added: "In their defence, there is a lot of activity in the distillery, with lots of metal machinery and people moving around, which might have roused a few suspicions."

The US Government agency based at Fort Belvoir in Virginia, USA, is responsible for American national security.

The agency's website says: "In the post-Cold War environment, a unified, consistent approach to deterring, reducing and countering weapons of mass destruction is essential to maintaining our national security."

An agency spokesman was reported as saying the distillery's webcams were of "no official interest".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/3144980.stm

Be like Blix!
 
Who in the hell would show themselves making NBC weapons on the web?
 
I heard this story on the radio this morning, and thought of putting it on the 'Iraq' thread for some light relief(?), but I couldn't find the link.

I think I've sailed past this distillery - there are several on the shores of the Sound of Islay.

Since alcohol is forbidden to Muslims, let's hope the distilleries are not now targetted by Islamic fundamentalists... :(
 
Pedant's corner...

Could someone correct the spelling of 'whisky' in this thread title please? 'Whiskey' is the Irish version of the spelling, and not what they make on Islay.


OK, done!
 
Possibly they are using the webcam as a data source to train WMD finding image recognition software?
 
What, as in " A factory! Let's bomb it!"

Actually, thinking about it, if you had a chemical weapons plant and set up webcams saying here's our distillery/jam factory/widget works, no-one would believe for a moment you were doing anything dodgey.
Webcam pictures are always pretty crap so you wouldn't be able tell what was going on. The best place to hide something is right out in the open.


Just a thought.
 
Whisky of Mass Destruction Testing

Modern chemical tests can detect:

1. The equivalent of a sugar cube diluted in the Mediterranean (according to some webpage or other groping around for a popular illustration of the concept one part in a million millions) or
2. The equivalent of a shot of whisky diluted in Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes (according to the wonderful book, The Sizesaurus by some Canadian or other).

Given the success rate so far finding traces of chemical and biological weapon making in Iraq, it makes perfect sense to start with spying on a Scottish distillary, then building your own replica.

Once you have your shot glass of whisky, you can test your chemical weapons finding equipment by pouring your shot into Lake Superior, and not have to go to the trouble of sifting through Iraqi sand, where your chances of finding WMD is about the same as your chances of finding a natural Whisky well.

Add some fruit and you have a Whisky Sour big enough to drown the entire Middle East.
 
Bleh. This affects me not.

Any true member of the intelligentsia drinks bourbon.
 
It's simple ...

In the goo that passes for the minds of the big-wigs in the American military and Intelligence agencies, it's only a short step from distilling whisky to creating a biological weapon of mass destruction. It's a matter of chemistry and intent!
:heh:
Oh, and why would they think an illegal weapons factory would have a webcam? Because it's easier to sit on their fat arses surfing the net using incredibly expensive, publically funded computers than it is to actually gather evidence in the field.

I'm all for an international hunt for extremist terrorists but the danger is in the definition. A terrorist to one government might be a "liberation group" to another. It's not always black and white. It is the extremists that think in "black and white" terms that can endanger any peace process!
 
Whisky IS a weapon of mass destruction! Loko what it did to my brain.....and liver:D
 
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