Yea of course the old bat is bothering me, but only because I love my wife and what bothers her bothers me.
The long lasting effect this kind of person can have on you even periphreally can be quite detrimental.
But I was just a son in law for 17 years and only delt with her 2-3 times a year. My wife was under her thumb for her first 18 years of life and remained a target from then on. I suspect she is still a target, I don't think the ol gal has moved on completely.
Now that she's deceased it's like she's still here. Her mothers bad vibes have not let up, gotten stronger if anything.
Call me superstious if you like, but that's my gut feeling.
Ulalume,
Any certain type of practicitioner you would recommend I seek out for a cleansing ritual?
Red flags to avoid ?
You speak as one who might have some experience in such things.
Have no fear, I understand completely. The damage a person like that inflicts can be severe. Psychologically, they get inside your mind and destroy you from the inside. Spiritually, well, who can say for sure? - but I personally believe they can hang around to wreak havoc. Consider trying the following things before paying someone else for a ritual:
First - I don't know the system in the UK, if you can hunt up a priest who's open-minded or you have to go with the priest in your district - but if you can, I'm sure that many priests would be glad to say a blessing for her, just as a first step. No doubt they are used to dealing with trouble of a spiritual nature - that's part of their job, after all!
When some Catholic friends began to experience some nasty paranormal happenings in their home, they called the local priest. He went right over and cast the entity out, just like that. So it
can be done.
Second - if your wife is not opposed to Catholic saints and angels, she might want to ask the archangel Raphael to intercede for her. Raphael is in charge of handling nightmares.
Third - again, another Catholic-based solution (and I have good reasons for suggesting this one) contact any of the Poor Clare monastaries and ask the Sisters to pray for your wife - or better yet, for her mother's soul to find peace. This might be ideal for your wife to do, as part of letting go of her mother, but if she won't, you can do it. Just go online to any of the monastary websites and fill out a simple prayer request form and hit send. It's that easy. I've had some extremely postive experiences with the Poor Clares, and I'm not even Christian. If I needed prayer, they are the ones I'd go to in a heartbeat.
Those are Christian solutions, ones your wife might accept. IMO, it would be best if she was involved in the process, because it would help to symbolically cut ties with her abuser. If not, though, you can do things on your own.
I've never had to hire any kind of practioner to do these things, I've just done it myself or asked a family member to do it.
If you feel the mother is actually hanging around in spirit to cause trouble, you can try a basic cleansing ritual in your home and see what happens. When I do a basic cleansing, I spray a mixture of lemon juice and water around the room, sprinkle salt on the floor, and sweep it out the door while visualizing the negativity being swept out with it. If I've got an unpleasant entity* of some kind hanging about, I go further - I ring a bell (loudly - they seem to hate that!) open a window and tell them in a commanding voice to leave. Then I bring fresh rosemary to the room, because that brings in protection.
(*If it's a just a lost or confused spirit, I just talk to it nicely and give it a bit of guidance. No need to order them.)
Some people swear by burning sage, but I usually don't because it smells like marijuana and I don't want the neighbors thinking I'm a stoner.
But it seems to work for some.
If you try this, but nothing improves, check if there is some object in the room the mother's spirit might be clinging to. This might sound especially strange, but I've had it happen before. If you can find the object (using your intuition, or someone else who's intuitive) remove it or give it away.
There are numerous curse removals that might help (not saying your mother-in-law placed a curse or anything, but you never know how these attachments work). There is a quite simple and effective method using a paper doll and paprika that works wonderfully. I don't have a link, but I know a copy is online somewhere. Just search around for it.
If you know anything about runes (they aren't my specialty, but my husband is adept with them) certain of these can be used to chase away nasty things. I know these work without the intended person even seeing them, because I've seen it work on seemingly intractible problems. If you or anyone you know is adept with them, that might be something to add. They can also be used to aid your wife's recovery, again without her having to see them.
You can also aid your wife by passing your hands over your wife's body, symbolically (and some say, physically) cutting any energy draining attachments she may have. This is something my OH and I have to regularly do after dealing with my mother (who is still alive and very, very draining) It really does help.
Okay, that's the first level of things I'd do, that and the therapy. Try these before the more extreme measures. if these don't work, then it will be time to consider other things.