I don't get lonely, either. During lockdown I had a great time doing my own thing, hardly ever being disturbed. Everyone else has been talking about mental health issues ever since.
God yes, lockdown was heaven for me.
I knew someone exactly like that. Friends and colleagues would "fall out with her" as did neighbours to the extent that she had to look around when she went out to avoid meeting her "enemies". Had to change jobs and husbands frequently, but never modified her behaviour and had zero perception of the affect of her behaviour. I come across her every few years and she has not changed one iota. I have sympathy to some extent but most people learn to modify their behaviour, but not her. Weird.I could've guessed what the response would be to this reader's letter.
'I’ve fallen out with all my friends and colleagues – why?
Yesterday I paused to take stock of my life and counted all the people, both in my professional life and personal life, who I haven’t got along with. I have a list of 45 names. I start out fine and then somewhere along the way things turn bitter.
Why have all these professional and personal relationships soured? At some point these people stop looking me in the eye, stop talking to me, ignore me, stop calling me, start excluding me, start forming cliques around me, start isolating me. I am 40 years old and I do not have a single friend or a colleague with whom I have not had a bad relationship. I have just left another job, because I fell out with all my team.'
Columnnist's reply:
'Try reading The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin. No one can know if you are on the autistic spectrum from one email, but this book can be useful for anyone who may not have a natural instinct on how to get along with other people.'
Yuck.
For those who need people around them, are very social orientated etc it must have been hellish. Ms P is in an exempt job and therefore had plenty of contact with others. I am content with my own company usually but found it difficult and didn't comply strictly with the rules. (don't tell anyone though).
Must have been a great comfort to your wife and stepson to come across someone who is understanding.
This quote sounds like an insult when the response was actually much longer and more nuanced.
You provided a quote out of context. That's a red rag to an inquisitive snail.Hi.
Do you mean that I perhaps misunderstood? Sadly that would not be unusual for me.
No need to be sorry. You started a discussion which is always good.Doh! I was too angry at (what I thought was) the implication that unsociable & unlikable = autistic. Too angry to read and then think about the entire thing properly.
I've sometimes seen this attitude in many people - I don't need to change anything ... it's the world around me that has to change.
Thank you.
We have a poster (can't remember which) who described how a gobby bloke collected a battering in a pub car park for mouthing off to the wrong person. It happens.
) is telling you that something is dragging you to one side then your body and yout automatic responses are going to go all lizard-brain on you and take evasive action regardless of what your monkey-brain is trying to assert. While this sort of thing is happeneing to you the bad stuff is TRUE. End of. Afterwards you can take a reasoned and reasonable attitude as you have done above, but in the moment? Excuse me I just need to lie on the floor and hold on to the carpet for a while...
No need to be embarrassed - the fear of bridges is more common than you think and has been discussed before on this forum. Strangely I like bridges and going over them. Gives Ms Me the heebeejeebies though.
