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All The Lonely People: Solitude & Loneliness

I didn't get the impression from that documentary that lonely people could be kept happy looking at screens. The chap who spent all day gaming certainly wasn't and the old lady who joined the computer class did so primarily for the company.
 
graylien said:
I didn't get the impression from that documentary that lonely people could be kept happy looking at screens. The chap who spent all day gaming certainly wasn't and the old lady who joined the computer class did so primarily for the company.
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It did seem to be the "next best thing" but far behind what it was actually like to have family, friends and a partner in real life. More the only substitute available than complementing a fulfilling social life, but clearly the life millions of people were not simply going on to lead, but were already leading.
 
I watched the start of the documentary, but, despite the pleasant background music, it was all rather sad, and nothing different to my own life, so I soon gave up.

But it was interesting that young students suffer this loneliness too. I warned my daughter about this possibility when she was due to go to Uni (by letter - my family had already been disrupted by then). I said that she would be moving from an environment (school) where she had been one of the top performers, to a Uni environment where many of her contempories would possibly be sharper and brighter than her, but not to let that get her down, and just to do the best she could do.

I don't know if my advice was useful or not, but she now has a PhD! (Well, she inherited my brains, innit!)

But as for me, it would be good to have family about me in my old age, but that's not going to happen.
 
There used to be an old lady who lived near us. She kept a goat and many cats. She was either known as the goat lady or cat lady depending on who was talking about her.
Most people thought it was the smell and shops would spray after she left and most drivers would not let her on the bus,
She loved to have a chat though and the weird thing is I could never smell her although I have an acute sense of smell and people I was with would be gagging.
Sadly she injured her foot and went to hospital and into care, squatters moved into her house and it burned down.
Her daughter appeared and sold the land and there are many houses there now where her house once stood.
 
I don't think I've ever felt lonely, for a significant period of time, in my life. I'm an only child, following my Mothers death, I was shipped off to a family member who had birthed five boys. Having spent 6 happy years as a) not having to compete for attention, b) having a fairly large tin of lego and c) thrice weekly visits to the local library, I found the whole idea of being around more than 3 folks at once completely horrific. I guess I'd already been hard wired for small groups/me, myself and I by then.

It's not that I don't like company, it's just always inconvenient. Folks want to 'pop round' when I'm ready for dinner, as most of my local friends have tea. So I inevitably get indigestion from either rushing my dinner or only snacking. Or telephone right in the middle of something I'm intently watching on TV. Or taking a bath. Or want milk. (suck on my soya milk, you, you, calf food thieves)

Or to put it another, more brutally honest way, people make my bile rise.

I've lived alone for four years now. I like it. I'd go so far as to say I need it.

I doubt I'll ever be lonely.
 
Mythopoeika said:
What, all people?
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Not all people, just the ones in a 10 ft radius.

I think that if you're one of those folks emotionally equipped for long periods of alone time (hands above ya waist time that is ;)) then other folks arriving unplanned or those spur of the moment meet ups are uncomfortable. Sure they can be nice, bumping into folks when shopping and grabbing a quick coffee type thing, are somewhat of a distraction or interruption to time you have anticipated to be alone.
 
Cultjunky said:
Not all people, just the ones in a 10 ft radius.

I think that if you're one of those folks emotionally equipped for long periods of alone time (hands above ya waist time that is ;)) then other folks arriving unplanned or those spur of the moment meet ups are uncomfortable. Sure they can be nice, bumping into folks when shopping and grabbing a quick coffee type thing, are somewhat of a distraction or interruption to time you have anticipated to be alone.
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Ah yeah, I know how that is.
 
Cultjunky said:
I don't think I've ever felt lonely, for a significant period of time, in my life. I'm an only child, following my Mothers death, I was shipped off to a family member who had birthed five boys. Having spent 6 happy years as a) not having to compete for attention, b) having a fairly large tin of lego and c) thrice weekly visits to the local library, I found the whole idea of being around more than 3 folks at once completely horrific. I guess I'd already been hard wired for small groups/me, myself and I by then.

It's not that I don't like company, it's just always inconvenient. Folks want to 'pop round' when I'm ready for dinner, as most of my local friends have tea. So I inevitably get indigestion from either rushing my dinner or only snacking. Or telephone right in the middle of something I'm intently watching on TV. Or taking a bath. Or want milk. (suck on my soya milk, you, you, calf food thieves)

Or to put it another, more brutally honest way, people make my bile rise.

I've lived alone for four years now. I like it. I'd go so far as to say I need it.

I doubt I'll ever be lonely.
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I can identify CJ with the instances you've brought up, having lived on my own since 1998 - but - when That person comes around who has that delightful manner and personality, it is like balm to the soul. You invite them in to share a pot of lapsang souchong, and before you know it you've shared two meals, the breakfast dishes still need to be washed and it's time to draw the curtains...Bliss.
 
Maybe I missed something but it seemed to me that the BBC prog didn't attempt to analyse why people were feeling lonely. There was no exploration as to why people have the expectations that they wouldn't/shouldn't feel lonely but ultimately did. It seemed that some of the people were using social media, going to computer classes etc but they still said they felt lonely.... why that was the case was ignored.

I lived by myself for 13 years but now, due to change of circumstances, live in a shared house. I thought it would be ok and would be good in preventing me from becoming more strange and eccentric as I get older but I find I long for the solitary home life again and sod it if I become odder!

I have felt lonely and isolated when by myself and when surrounded by friends. Being alone doesn't mean one is lonely just as being lonely doesn't mean one is alone. I think that's probably stating the obvious but there you go!
 
The programme left it to the subjects to analyse why they were lonely, I thought, and most of the time it was obvious anyway - they didn't have any friends, family or partner about for companionship. I think it's really that simple. What it struggled to provide was solutions, but that's the fault of society, this was more reportage.
 
I like living alone, i would not be able to stand living with anyone now, this is my nest, and when in it, the world can sod off, cept for my internet friends, but they dont knock on my door.
I do work, and i do go out for dinner occasionally, but its always great to get back home and hide in my lair.
But, sometimes when i am ill, i think it would be nice to have someone here, just in case i pop ma clogs.
 
Shady said:
I like living alone, i would not be able to stand living with anyone now, this is my nest, and when in it, the world can sod off, cept for my internet friends, but they dont knock on my door.
I do work, and i do go out for dinner occasionally, but its always great to get back home and hide in my lair.
But, sometimes when i am ill, i think it would be nice to have someone here, just in case i pop ma clogs.
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I'm exactly the same way.
Bit of a recluse, to be perfectly honest.
 
I'm getting more reclusive, but only because my mobility has gone.

Once I would catch a bus to A, walk to B, and maybe get another bus to C before heading home. But now climbing on a bus is a chore, and walking any distance is almost impossible. Now it seems a day out is going to Tesco for my shopping.
 
Rynner2 I don't know if it would help but since my knee has been a bit weird after a fall I find it's easier with the steps on the bus if you go sideways and hang on with both hands.
 
Iris said:
Rynner2 I don't know if it would help but since my knee has been a bit weird after a fall I find it's easier with the steps on the bus if you go sideways and hang on with both hands.
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Most of our buses now don't have steps where you get on, and the driver can reduce the height of the boarding platform, but even so there is usually a small step up, and since I have trouble with roadside kerbs this is still a slight problem.

Being an old git on a shopping expedition means I don't have two hands spare to hang on, which is why I rarely venture upstairs on a double-decker nowadays!
 
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