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All The Lonely People: Solitude & Loneliness

Old men do not make the effort to join groups the way old ladies do!

I retired from Wolverhampton to Dorset all on my own, but I've managed to chisel out a timetable for myself so that I actually do something with other people every day. (In my case :-knitting and crocheting, singing in a choir, cheap OAP cinema, the OAP club at the community centre, making teas etc.)

None of the people I meet or mix with are close friends, but they do make a change from my own company, and men would be welcomed with open arms at any of these groups (with the exception of the knitting one maybe, where they might be met with funny looks! :lol: )
 
I work in a supermarket (as well as from home) and we get regular old folk popping in who make a bee line for me. I have a chat with them while I'm working and I 'm sure that it makes a little bit of difference to their day. As Swifty said, make an effort you may brighten someone's day, and it'll be your turn before you know it.
 
"Women keep the family together and people rally around them.
"When women die, people drift away from the man left behind."
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Not everyone, and not every man either - it was somewhat the other way round with my mum and dad. It also might have another explanation - a widow/widower is no longer a couple, likely you have a single ageing adult with no children at home, deep grief, and too much time on their hands . I suspect we all become a bit eccentric and unpleasant. It may be that for women with children that is a greater consolation than it is for a typical man.

A marriage - or relationship, what have you - requires, for most people , compromise and a certain amount of tolerance - when you are back on your own maybe you lose the habit?

I'm somewhat into biographies - when one partner in a long marriage passes away it usually seems to be the end of any real productivity in the other partner.
 
Police officers in New Zealand have delivered a toasted sandwich to a distressed elderly woman, it's been reported.

Far from being a trivial call-out, the mercy dash by officers based in the North Island town of Wanganui was in response to the news that the 90-year-old had not eaten for three days and was "distressed and desperate", the Wanganui Chronicle reports. The woman lived alone, had been unwell and had been unable to get food delivered, according to Sgt Colin Wright. "I don't know how many places or who she'd phoned. She had obviously tried a couple of fish and chip shops and probably there was nobody else to call," he tells the paper. A patrol picked up a sandwich from a local fish and chip shop and delivered it to the woman. Sgt Wright tells the paper it's the police's role to help the vulnerable, elderly and lonely in society. "We could even have gone back to the police station and cooked one up ourselves," he says. ...

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from ... e-30144661
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I think there are a lot of lonely people out there. Somehow I seem to attract them.
In the last couple of days there was a woman I met in the carpark unloading my trolley who spent about 30 minutes telling me problems she had had with local government.
Then there was the one in Big W I met waiting to use the machine to check the price of a top who also talked for a long time.
Lastly there was the daughter of a lady I know who was having a garage sale and who talked for over an hour. Given her interests I told her to have a look at Fortean times.
 
I used to be a total magnet for people like that when I was younger.

It's like they have radar and know when you don't have the confidence to tell them to bugger off. :lol:
 
Lonely elderly flood Silver Line helpline with calls
By Michelle Roberts, Health editor, BBC News online

In its first year, a free 24-hour UK helpline for the elderly has been inundated with calls about loneliness.
Founded by Esther Rantzen and aided by the Big Lottery Fund, the Silver Line took nearly 300,000 calls, and most were about feeling lonely or isolated.
More than half of callers told the helpline they had nobody else to talk to.

Some also called to report abuse or neglect in their homes or in residential care.
One of the first calls received was from a woman in a care home too afraid to give her name. But she did give the name of the care home, where the residents had been left without food and the heating turned off. The police were informed, and the residents are now safe.

Silver Line is now teaming up with the Care Quality Commission - the body that checks standards of care - to protect and support the most vulnerable.
As well as chatting to Silver Line on 0800 4 70 80 90, people can now call the CQC directly on 03000 61 61 61.
The chief inspector of adult social care at the CQC, Andrea Sutcliffe, said: "We believe that working together, we will be able to improve the standards of care for older people that may be falling short of the quality they need and deserve. It is also an opportunity to recognise examples of excellence and to highlight best practice to share with others."

The Silver Line uses trained staff to:

Offer information, friendship and advice
Link callers to local groups and services
Offer regular befriending calls
Protect and support those who are suffering abuse and neglect

Callers can receive a regular weekly friendship call or email or join a Silver Circle and take part in a regular group call on subjects that may interest them.

Esther Rantzen said: "We knew loneliness existed in this country, but the extent of this epidemic of loneliness and isolation suffered by people over 65 has shocked and alarmed us.
"Many of our callers ring us on a regular basis because they tell us we are the reason they can get through the day."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-30175910
 
True identity of tramp 'Tea Cosy Pete' revealed as former Archbishop of Canterbury's grammar school friend
Brian Burford's past as an aspiring student whose rejection from Oxford
University sparked a downhill spiral only emerged after his death
By Camilla Turner
12:49AM GMT 14 Feb 2015

He was known only as Tea Cosy Pete, a tramp in Swansea who became famous for walking 12 miles to return a wallet with £300 inside, then refusing to accept a reward.

...

Mr Burford, who was from a middle class family, studied at Dynevor Grammar, Swansea at the same time as the former head of worldwide Anglican church.
Dr Williams, the Master of Magdalene College at Cambridge University, paid a warm tribute to his old school friend Mr Burford, adding that he was a man of "complete integrity".
"I remember Brian very vividly from schooldays, and was very sad indeed to hear of his death,” Dr Williams said.
"He was - even as a schoolboy - a distinctive character: very withdrawn a lot of the time, but then capable of making some observation that surprised everyone.

"I still recall a strange little poem he wrote in class about crowds and loneliness - we rather made fun of it at the time, but I realise now how deeply it was felt and meant.
"He often had a smile on his face, but it was a smile that ever so slightly suggested that the joke was on everyone else.
"I think that's how he lived his life - seeing differently, with complete integrity."

Mr Burford was a talented student from a middle-class background who got eight top grade O Levels and three grade As for A Levels.

etc...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/pic...hop-of-Canterburys-grammar-school-friend.html
 
Small Data: Are 51% of people really 'single'?
Small Data Curious numbers in the news

_81032707_lonely1_thinkstock.jpg


The Office for National Statistics (ONS) has released data that shows 51% of people in England and Wales are single. Does that really mean there are so many people on their own, asks Anthony Reuben.
It was the first time that the figures had shown more than half the population was single. The ONS also tells us that the proportion of single and married people varies little across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

The figures came from an analysis of responses to the 2011 census, which was first released last year.
And it was accompanied by this excellent interactive map, which allows you to search for the areas with the highest proportions of single people.
What a fantastic tool for those seeking their soulmate. It shows you that if you're planning to minimise the risk of accidentally trying to pick up someone married then you should go to Islington in north London, where only a quarter of adults are married.
In fact, seven of the top 10 most single areas are in London, with Manchester, Nottingham and Brighton and Hove being the only areas outside the capital.

But can it really be true that more than half of people over 16 in England and Wales are single?
It does seem very high, but that is because the definition of "single" is people who are not married, including many people whose Facebook statuses would say they were "in a relationship".
A cohabiting couple in Islington could be legitimately cross at being chatted up because the statisticians said they were single

etc...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-31461595
 
What is most extraordinary is that his sister lives next door - and they haven't spoken to each other for 30 years.
 
Hundreds turn out for funeral of WWII veteran who had no known relatives
Community turns out to pay respects to 90-year-old Thomas Cox, who served in the Royal Pioneer Corps
By Agency
3:04PM GMT 11 Dec 2015

Hundreds answered an appeal and paid their respects to a World War Two veteran who faced a funeral on Friday with no mourners.
Thomas Cox, who served in the Royal Pioneer Corps, died at the age of 90 with no known relatives.

His local community was determined to give him a decent send-off and so many people turned out in respect they filled an overflow room at a crematorium.
War veterans acted as standard bearers and led the funeral procession with the coffin of Mr. Cox draped in a Union flag.
Serving Army officers also joined the moving ceremony in Middlesborough, Teeside.
Other mourners included police officers and ambulance workers and members of the Royal British Legion Bikers turned out.

They all answered the call of the Royal Pioneer Corps Association who posted an appeal on the Facebook page asking for people to attend.
It was shared to veteran groups, army-related groups and other local groups in the North East and in 12 hours it was seen by over 100,000 people.

Local florist Beckie McLinn saw the plea and created a 3ft coffin top arrangement for Mr Cox, who lived alone in Stockton, Co Durham.
Others laid wreaths and red flowers to mark the veteran's war service with moving tributes attached.
One read: "RIP brave soldier, gone but never forgotten" and another said: "Rest easy soldier, your duty's done. Goodnight and God bless."One bunch of red flowers said: "Rest in peace brother."

Norman Brown, who launched the appeal for mourners, said: "He had one hell of a send-off."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...-WWII-veteran-who-had-no-known-relatives.html
 
I've been lonely all my life, so it's not news to me.
 
You can always turn on the TV for company...
 
Anyone watch it? What a sad programme, I lost count of the number of people with tears in their eyes. The only one happy with being alone was the one who chose it, everyone else had it forced upon them. Amazing how many were filmed using computers or phones. The message was that if you find yourself lonely, you'd better get used to it. Happy new year, everyone!
 
I've always kind of preferred being alone. When I was a kid my mum would invite other kids round to make me sociable and I hated it. I also was the only kid who loathed parties. Now I suspect (and my kids do too) I probably have some kind of high functioning autism. My mum's dad was a recluse (farmer so that's not unusual) and so my mum and her sister were always wildly outgoing and at the centre of everything. So I think these things skip a generation. I've been a writer since I was very young so never really felt 'alone' at all.
 
I've pondered my own asocial nature and have come to the conclusion I learnt to enjoy my own company, usually outdoors, as it was a good deal more pleasant than being indoors at home with the blood-kin.
 
I find that I do like being alone but that too much isolation makes me turn in on myself a bit too much and makes me feel worse ultimately. I'm also very awkward in that I'll want to be alone when I am around others, and I'll want to be around others when I'm alone! :p
 
Novena said:
I find that I do like being alone but that too much isolation makes me turn in on myself a bit too much and makes me feel worse ultimately. I'm also very awkward in that I'll want to be alone when I am around others, and I'll want to be around others when I'm alone! :p
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I can sympathise, I spend most of my time alone and if that doc this week was anything to go by, us lonesome folks are expertly adapting to the society of the future. Just give us a screen to watch and we'll be content knowing somebody is out there.
 
Once VR becomes widely available, virtual pubs can happen!
Maybe there will one day be an FTMB virtual meetup?
 
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