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James_H

And I like to roam the land
Joined
May 18, 2002
Messages
7,632
Here's an unusual story I heard down the way. The friend who related it swears blind that it's true, but then that's what they all say - and it did allegedly happen to a friend of a friend.

My friend's friend, then, was a student in Manchester. After a night of drinking, he got his head jammed inside a bottle bank (in an alleyway). The one friend he was with left to find help. While his friend was away, the bottle bank guy was then violated by an unknown assailant, and couldn't do a damned thing about it.

Has anyone else heard anything like this? For all I know it's true, and if so, very unfortunate. But it does have a certain ULish ring of improbability...
 
I'd not heard this one. Seems unlikely.

Why would he have his head in the bottle bank? His head wouldn't fit anyway.

Also, the opening is at the top, so anyone getting their stuck in it would be at risk of a quick death from suffocation as their weight would be on their neck. A bit like hanging.

Even so, we'll probably hear of it happening in other places too, soon. :lol:
 
I would have expected a highly unusual sexual assault like this to have been broadcast nationwide. Seems like quite a poorly designed UL to me. Anyone hear of any similar legends concerning bottle banks? (not neccesarily sexual though). maybe it was a dropped scene from the new saw movie?
 
DougalLongfoot said:
What's a bottle bank?

Bins for recycling empty bottles.
Bottlebank20600.jpg

They come in various designs, I suppose with some the hole's low enough and large enough to get your head through (as a drunken prank) and then not be able get it out again as some models have a flexible flap around the inside of the hole.

However, it's probably a UL as the press (especially the tabloids) would be reporting this with considerable relish if it wasn't.
 
Round here bottle banks are shaped like old-fashioned beehives, y'know, like huge eggs, with the hole near the top, a good five-and-a-half feet above the ground, measuring about 6" across.
 
It sounds pretty feasible to me, or it's someone's secret sexual fantasy.

If I was on the way home from the pub and happened upon one of my friends pissed up, with his head stuck in a bin, there's a good chance they'd end up with their trousers round their ankles and a hastily scrawled sign "Get it here" stuck to their backs.
Of course, I'm a measured, mature individual, and wouldn't dream of violating that person with a traffic cone and sending pictures from my mobile phone to everyone I know, but perhaps others may not be so considerate.

I'd imagine the person with their head in the bin would definitely be relieved of their phone and wallet at the very least if found by unknown passers-by late at night.

A good UL involves ordinary people coming to grief whilst going about their everyday business, just like any one of us, or whilst trying to do a good deed; I'd say that sticking your head in a bottle bin is neither. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that a pissed up student who is stupid enough to stick his head into a bottle bin NEEDS a good hard fucking to teach him some common sense. It possibly might make him drink a bit more sensibly, and when he's thinking about which jolly japes he's going to pull on the way home - like pulling up For Sale signs, kicking off wing mirrors, nicking garden ornaments etc, perhaps he'll remember his plundered ringpiece and just go home quietly, like a mature adult (well, some of us, anyway).
 
" . . . and while I was standing there helpless, a short-sighted woman disposed of her oiled coke bottle in my fundiment. The labrador semen was an opportunistic attack by her guide-dog, honest, doc." :oops:
 
Snopes cites an actual 1997 'raped groom' story that generally mirrors this motif:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/batman.asp

.. except that in this case the victim was immobilized by his 'friends' rather than getting stuck on his own.

The incident occurred in Cork. Snopes cites the following reference:

Mooney, Ann. "Groom 'Raped' on His Stag Night." The Mirror. 29 August 1997 (pp. 1, 4).
 
Sorry - inadvertent double-post ... :oops:
 
If it's a bottle bank we're talking about, it doesn't sound that feasible to me - all the bottle banks I've seen have small openings, quite high up.
Perhaps it's mis-reported. It could have been one of those clothing banks (if it happened at all).
 
I've come across a similar(ish) story from a repository of old internet lore: http://www.monster-island.org/tinashumor/true.html
I'd guess it's at least from the early 90s.

Who says Germans have no sense of humour? The following is from the Big Issue:

"One of the primary reasons cat flaps are called cat flaps is that they're flaps specifically designed for cats, as opposed to dogs, or giraffes, or humans. All of this became abundantly clear to teenager Jason Evans, of Eastleigh, Hampshire, when he recently spent six hours stuck in one after using it in an attempt to get into his house. He was eventually cut free by firemen. In Germany, meanwhile, Gunther Burpus remained wedged in his front-door cat flap for two days because passers-by thought he was a piece of installation art. Mr Burpus, 41, of Bremen, was using the flap because he had mislaid his keys. Unfortunately he was spotted by a group of student pranksters who removed his trousers and pants, painted his bottom bright blue, stuck a daffodil between his buttocks and erected a sign saying 'Germany Resurgent, an Essay in Street Art. Please give Generously'. Passers-by assumed Mr Burpus' screams were part of the act and it was only when an old woman complained to the police that he was finally freed. "I kept calling for help," he said, "but people just said 'Very good
 
The homosexual rape theme was around in the late '70's /early 80's.

I recall being told a FOAF tale which involved a bloke being tied to a bed by a beautiful girl. The girl then leaves the room and a figure dressed as Batman leaps out of the wardrobe shouting "Hey up Robin, you're in for a knobbin!"
 
"I kept calling for help," he said, "but people just said 'Very good
HAHAHAH! That last bit made me laugh lots! :lol:

*Edited because of the usual forgetting to put the slash in the end quote bits!
 
Thanks to this thread, my next door neighbour thinks I'm a freak.

Walking past the bottlebanks at the end of my street today, I couldn't help myself and tried to see if it was actually possible to put your head in the hole. Now I wasn't stupid enough to attempt putting MY head in the hole, but was measuring it up, by putting my hands at the side of my head and moving my hands forward to see if they would fit. I found that my head is just about the same width as the bottle hole, and was just starting to measure the height of my head in the same manner when lo and behold, Babs from next door comes trundling along with her pull-a-long shopping basket, and gives me a wary "hello".

Wasn't easy trying to explain to a 70 year old dear what I was doing, but hey, honesty is the best policy, so I launched myself into a quick explanation of the thread and the general oddness of the website. And for good measure meantioned how I subscribe to the mag so I get it through the post.

Her reply?

"I have porn protection on my PC" :oops:
 
I'm so going to try this at Asda tonight. :D
 
Cultjunky said:
Thanks to this thread, my next door neighbour thinks I'm a freak.

We're ALL freaks here. Wear it with pride!

This story does rather have the whiff of UL rather than fact, but it's a hard one to track down.
 
In fact, I'd go as far as to say that a pissed up student who is stupid enough to stick his head into a bottle bin NEEDS a good hard fucking to teach him some common sense. It possibly might make him drink a bit more sensibly, and when he's thinking about which jolly japes he's going to pull on the way home

Without wanting to sound too Millie Tant, am I the only one who is faintly uncomfortable with a post cheering on male rape as a way to teach students the dangers of binge drinking?

I'm sure it was meant as a joke, but this post made me feel a bit sick honestly. :(
 
There´s nothing like a good rape to keep discipline.
 
Maybe if his parents had given him more fatal beatings when he was a child...
 
Quake42 said:
Without wanting to sound too Millie Tant, am I the only one who is faintly uncomfortable with a post cheering on male rape as a way to teach students the dangers of binge drinking?

I'm sure it was meant as a joke, but this post made me feel a bit sick honestly. :(

It's OK pet, we know.
Thing is, it's difficult to get a tender meaningful spot of love-making when you are stuck head-first in a bin. Ask your cat!

I know one thing though, one act of buggery would be felt amongst hundreds of his peers (so to speak), they'd mature instantly. (I'm not volunteering to dispense the lesson either, thankyouverymuch)

Of course rape isn't funny, a dumbass student getting pwned with his head stuck in a bin is, especially when it is an UL, not reality.
 
Agree entirely. The real-life version is very nasty indeed, but i have to say that batman u/l is the funniest one i've heard yet! :D
 
It's OK pet, we know.

I kind of feel I ought to rise to this, but it's probably not worth the bother.

Agree entirely. The real-life version is very nasty indeed, but i have to say that batman u/l is the funniest one i've heard yet!

Not denying that, I just thought that LordRSmacker's rather gratuitious description of male rape - which he seemed to revel in - was unnecessary and fairly distasteful. Who knows, perhaps I'm oversensitive about these things.
 
James_H2 said:
I've come across a similar(ish) story from a repository of old internet lore...Mr Burpus, 41, of Bremen, was using the flap because he had mislaid his keys. Unfortunately he was spotted by a group of student pranksters who removed his trousers and pants, painted his bottom bright blue, stuck a daffodil between his buttocks and erected a sign saying 'Germany Resurgent, an Essay in Street Art. Please give Generously'. Passers-by assumed Mr Burpus' screams were part of the act and it was only when an old woman complained to the police that he was finally freed. "I kept calling for help," he said, "but people just said 'Very good

This story made it onto Radio 4's News Quiz back in the days of Barry Took. What always made this type of report all the more entertaining was the dead-pan delivery of the newsreaders and the hope that they might just break down and get the giggles.

Charlotte Green was always good for that - my own favourite being the Rupert the Bear porn-mags debacle.

An example of Ms Greens giggles here. Unfortunately not the one mentioned above, or from the News Quiz. However it has added value for the fact that she loses it just after reading the words 'Judgement at Nuremburg.'
 
Quake42 said:
It's OK pet, we know.
I kind of feel I ought to rise to this, but it's probably not worth the bother.
Well done, I confess to putting that there out of mischief. I think your invocation of the name Millie Tant did it.

Quake42 said:
Not denying that, I just thought that LordRSmacker's rather gratuitious description of male rape - which he seemed to revel in - was unnecessary and fairly distasteful. Who knows, perhaps I'm oversensitive about these things.

"Gratuitous description"? I beg to differ with you on that one, I didn't describe anything.
Seriously, if I've offended you Quake, my apologies, I'm not really advocating bumrape, even for students.
 
Spookdaddy said:
An example of Ms Greens giggles here. Unfortunately not the one mentioned above, or from the News Quiz. However it has added value for the fact that she loses it just after reading the words 'Judgement at Nuremburg.'

:lol: :lol: :lol:

What cracked me up was the man at the end saying "Its 10 minutes past 8."
 
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