F*cked-Up Fruit & Veg

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garrick92

Guest
#1
No, no penis-shaped carrots here, thank you very much.

I was inspired to start this thread by a sudden memory -- seeing a "starfruit" for the first time, in (I think) 1989. It had occurred to me at the time that this weird-looking thing had never ever been seen before -- like its contemporary 'newbies', the horned melon, the inside-out orange and the invisible apple -- OK, now I'm making them up, but there were a whole bunch of weird-ass fruit suddenly appeared on sale at about the same time, whereas anyone used to fruit before this time would have considered lychees and pomegranates to be the height of exotica.

Several questions: (1) -- Has anyone any recollection of seeing the starfruit (for example) prior to about 1989 (picture in books, even)? (2) Is there any grounding in my horrid suspicion that they were an early 'future-shock' test for the current wave of genetically modified crops ("Hehe, heh, if they eat this, they'll eat anything!")? (3) What other unearthly things startled the bejasus out of you when they first appeared, but are now as commonplace as "Coronation Street"?

PS -- If anyone tries to tell me that they own a large starfruit that contains a perfect and miniature (but growing) replica of themselves, then I shall SCREAM.
 

lucydru

Ephemeral Spectre
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#2
I'm sure I must of seen a starfruit (a picture of one at least) before 1989. I remember learning about different fruits in my second year of primary school, starfruit was one of them. It must of been a few years beofre the date you mentioned.


luce
 
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garrick92

Guest
#3
I don't believe a word of it. Not one word, do you hear.

I'm sorry, but it's just not good enough.

Until I am presented with GOOD evidence of their pre-1989 existence, I pronounce starfruit to be the work of the Evil One.

And how come this darn message board, after having originally decided I was a 'grey' has suddenly rechristened me 'Yeti'? I suspect I'm getting too damn close to the truth for the liking of the starfruitmongers, gibber, froth [hides under bedclothes]
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#4
Hmm, I can tell this is really bothering you garrick92. I'm not entirely sure about this but I think I first spotted star fruit in the exotic section of an Essex Tesco's circa 1985.

I do remember my first encounter with a kiwi fruit the following year as it coincided with losing my virginity ;)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#6
Star-fruit were definiately around in the mid-80's I remember tasting one and being very disappointed............

Psssssssst Ground Elder wanna buy some dirty postcards????.......geniune fruit, harder stuff than you can get in Grocers Weekly......;)
 
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garrick92

Guest
#7
OK, OK, OK!! So I may have been a bit out with the date.

The point is that they (St*rfr**ts) certainly weren't known to earthly science before 1980 at the earliest.

Where did they come from? Who suddenly decided to market them? And why? And why did so many other 'martian' fruits appear at the same time? In instances like this, you can hardly blame Delia Smith's TV progs, can you?

(And we'll have less of the fruit-related smut, please. Our American cousins will start to get confused. Having said that, all this fruity talk has made me want a fag, so I'll just nip out and have a quick one ...)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#8
Fruit-smut? Did you ever see that episode of Rab C Nesbitt with Jamesie Cotter and the Honeydew...?
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#9
The starfruit is also known as the carambola.

Originated down Sri Lanka way. They've been growing it in southeast Asia/Malaysia for hundreds of years.

Its arrival in our shops probably has more to do with changes in buying strategy in food retail in the 80s than Satan's evil plan to take over the world with astral bodied delicacies.

Sorry, that's really dull.


:)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#10
Sorry, garrick92, but starfruit have been grown is SE Asia for centuries. As to who decided to market them in the West, I don't know, but it was about the same time that ugli fruit started to appear in stores.
 

FelixAntonius

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#12
The mid to late 1980's was a time when the supermarkets were trying a lot of new fruit etc (?for the jaded palate). At the time I can remember such things as 'red bananas', (OK, but not worth the cost), as well as ostrich & kangaroo burgers, (damned good, but the animal libbers got their oar in!!!).
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#13
Its all a Jewish plot!.... or at least thats what one person explained it to me as.... Isreal hasnt got much water inland and needed some to iragate thier/somone elses (dipending on yr view point) fileds so they drilled down and found a huge water course under the desert. trouble is its slightly brackish (salty) so they set out in the late 70s to find fruit that tolerate salty water. Hence Advacardoes/Sharon fruit (Or as Deputy Dowg called em Perisimons)...etc.....may even be true!
 

carole

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#14
I can remember Ugli fruit from at least the early 70s (Stockton Market). And kiwi fruit used to be called Chinese gooseberries (I first remember them from the 60s, again Stockton Market).

If you want a really wierd fruit, try a durian. About melon size and shape, but with soft spines all over. The flesh inside tastes divine, but the smell is revolting. Durians are banned on Singapore's pst system.

And persimmons are VILE, give me a horned melon any time!

Carole
 

carole

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#15
And I remember a fruit called a babaco (sp?) from Queensland, a cross between a pineapple and a melon . . .

Carole
 

FelixAntonius

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#16
sidecar, you must be p**sed!!!

Your spelling is worse than mine & I'm two bottles down, (or up depending on your perspective).

While I would agree with you on some points, I would suggest that it is not a "Jewish conspiracy", more an Israeli "business ploy" which can be summed up as: "Stuff the neighbours" & as they were arabs, their views didn't count then & only a little now!!!!
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#17
Nessie shaped spud!!

Today we bought a Sweet potato purely 'cos it looked like Nessie! It has a longish neck,head, eyes on each side and a hump the only downfall... its pink so no faux photos taken in the bath tub for me then..a Pink Nessie...? tut. We will be taking pics and sending them to FT asap!:eek!!!!:

Didn't the star fruit stink!!?
 

carole

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#18
Re: Nessie shaped spud!!

Slemen said:
Today we bought a Sweet potato purely 'cos it looked like Nessie! It has a longish neck,head, eyes on each side and a hump the only downfall... its pink so no faux photos taken in the bath tub for me then..a Pink Nessie...? tut. We will be taking pics and sending them to FT asap!:eek!!!!:
Makes a change from pink elephants, Slemen!

Jolly good reason for buying a veggie, though. I like the heart-shaped spuds myself . . .

Carole
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#19
Carol...perisimons i realy like em when they are good and ripe which means soft and dark orenge. I found a pip in one last year and now have a small tree on the kitchen widowsill, large leaves and posibly frost hardy so i might transfer it to me field next year.

David. my spelling is terrible awful and embaraseingly bad....sorry i whole heartedly apologise to everyone who has the misfortune to read it......People have claimed im dyslexic but i can only claim im thick and lazy... i cant even claim any glory from being drunk cos i dont drink...sorry agin!
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#23
If you knew my ex-husband you would be so glad that you had never got married, believe me.....I'm certainly not doing it again..............
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#24
Why do you women never marry anyone, well, nice ??
I mean, here's me, dashing, handsome, adventurous etc. etc. and all the girls I know are attached to, well, not-nice people.
Hmph.:hmph:
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#27
sometimes i feel really left out through not being married (as in the 'i'm sure it was a grey but my other half told me i was dreaming' sort of post, which crops up quite a bit) or having a brutal baby-eating ex husband or cruella de ville for an ex-wife. i thought people on discussion boards were supposed to be insomniac students or teenage whizzkids (i'm neither)...?;) rather let-down to report i'm on matey (though occasionally slightly awkward) terms with my two significant exes and hope to be able to say the same about the next one, wherever she is.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#28
s'alright Inverurie. Right ,the answer is that most people, not all, are sooooo very nice when you start dating them and then whooosh, they turn into something completely different........ah sweet mystery of life...........
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#29
I'm on extremely good (er, not that good) terms with someone else's girlfriend, which is kinda messing me up in the head, but, hey.
I fit into the first group, but if you read the threads on dreams in the chat forum, you'll undersand why!!
 
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Anonymous

Guest
#30
Take some advice from someone who's been there and done that.....if somebody is directly or indirectly messing with your hand head for the hills.......the agony ain't worth it.......
 
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