To the best of my recollection my phone battery was perfectly fine when I went to sleep last night.. I woke up to find it wouldn't go on. Without any activity on my part every last (insert name of tiniest unit of electricity) has evaporated.,..
Try turning it over every few hours - otherwise, all the electricity will run to the bottom.
...it's gained an hour and a half. its says 9.10 at 8.40. Then I notice no, it's actually lost 11 days. It claims its 9.10 on Sunday 9 August.
And it lost another hour, otherwise it would be 10.10!
There is only one rational explanation. Aliens. Or poltergeists. Alien poltergeists.
So, which one of those is the one rational explanation?
I'm sure that most mobile phones have pixies living in them, pixies who are normally quite happy to make the thing work perfectly, but occasionally fuck with you, just for pixie shits and giggles. When my phone's about to ring, it lights up, so if it's on my desk, I get a second or so's warning that a call is incoming. Just now, it lit up, so I glanced across to see who was calling. No-one, that's who. No call, text or email, and the phone went back to sleep after a few seconds.
Stranger than that, though, was a call I left unanswered this morning. Like a lot of you, I'm sure, I'm so fed up with borderline-legal marketing calls that I only actually answer if I know who it is. So when I saw a unknown number beginning with 01159 on the screen, my first instinct was to look the number up on one of those "who calls me" type of websites, rather than pick up the call. Nothing suspicious there, so I simply Googled the number instead. Turns out, it's the main number for a dentist in Nottingham! OK, so they probably just got someone else's number mixed up, but it was refreshing, if bizarre, to find it wasn't someone looking to compensate me for an accident I didn't have.
Shit - just realised what this all means. The pixie in my phone is actually a tooth fairy...