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The Doomsday / Apocalypse Thread

Of course, what am I on about? Christians have been lusting after an apocalypse for over two thousand years.
 
“According to what the Bible is presenting it does appear that 7 October will be the day that God has spoken of: in which, the world will pass away,”
“It’ll be gone forever. Annihilated.”

That's tomorrow. They could at least tell us the time it's going to take place - I don't know whether to switch my alarm clock off or not.
 
While our planet may have survived September’s “blood moon”, it will be permanently destroyed on Wednesday, 7 October, a Christian organization has warned.

The eBible Fellowship, an online affiliation headquartered near Philadelphia, has based its prediction of an October obliteration on a previous claim that the world would end on 21 May 2011. While that claim proved to be false, the organization is confident it has the correct date this time.

“According to what the Bible is presenting it does appear that 7 October will be the day that God has spoken of: in which, the world will pass away,” said Chris McCann, the leader and founder of the fellowship, an online gathering of Christians headquartered in Philadelphia.

“It’ll be gone forever. Annihilated.”

http://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-7-october-ebible-fellowship?CMP=share_btn_tw

Oh, bugger! My shopping delivery is booked for Thursday - I've always promised myself I would face The End with a tube of Smarties in one hand and a cigarette in the other. :p
 
It's the 7th here now, nothing yet. In the 1960's one of the other teachers became very friendly with me. Her father was a minister in some group called the Christadelphians and she brought me a pamphlet to read which said the world was ending in some close date.
She excitedly came up the next day and asked what I thought. I said I had read a few different ones and they all gave a different date, so was really angry and hardly spoke to me again.
Of course when it didn't happen they changed the date.
 
It's the 7th here now, nothing yet.

0230 CET and over half of Wednesday's already passed in some parts of the world but there's nothing about the world ending on the news yet. It's going to be like the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon at Milliways, isn't it?

So how many Apocalypse-Christians have actually read the relevant bits of the Bible?

Matthew 24:36 : But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Mark 13:32 : What Matt said.
 
While our planet may have survived September’s “blood moon”, it will be permanently destroyed on Wednesday, 7 October, a Christian organization has warned.

Surely this inarguable breach of confidence, this unforgivable failure to deliver, merits the closure of the church? Or at least the loss of it's tax breaks. I'm really starting to have a crisis of faith in connection with all these defective doomsayers. I keep filling-up my calendars with all these End Days Expectations, and yet, tomorrow and tomorrow breaks the morn anew.

Hopefully once the new Messiah arrives, they can get this sorted once and for all (well, it would be, wouldn't it?). Plus, they'd need to make a planning application through the local authority. Dammit! Better order more calendars.....
 
If the church is in Philadelphia, they must be using Eastern Standard Time. That means we've got around 19 hours left for a posslble apocalypse. There's still time to pick up snacks! ;)

Here's an amusing article by Robert Lanham about The Late Great Planet Earth (remember that one?) and the futility of telling teenagers to be chaste while also telling them the world is about to end.
http://www.theawl.com/2010/12/the-late-great-planet-earth
 
Well, I've got rain and thunder, so did they just mean summer is over?
 
Are we still here?
 
tumbleweed01.jpg
 
They had an apocalypse in Dundee years ago but nobody noticed.
The new V&A shall ascribe talismanic protection to the City (or something else will need to be discovered).

I was thinking Carluke...... Apologies to any Carluckers reading!
All of Lanarkshire shall be saved. But not the new bit....
 
I'd buy that for a dollar!
 
A YOUNG woman walks through a desolate New York City 1000 years from now. Society has fallen. She comes upon the basement of the New York Public Library. Forcing the door she find caverns of hard drives. The world’s knowledge was once stored here, crucial information for getting by with ease: how to make medicines, how the internal combustion engine works, how to plough a field. But the hard drives are long dead, and she doesn’t have a way to read them anyway.

This scenario is the extreme end of a situation that archivists and data preservationists want to avoid, one in which humanity’s cumulative knowledge is lost. Now, new ways of storing digital information are giving us a shot at preserving our records, so that our descendants can know their past better than we know ours.





Until the 21st century, libraries preserved cultural knowledge in the form of books. But with humans and their computers now generating more data every year than the entire planet did up until 2003, how we store and preserve that data has to change. As time passes, hard drives fail, web pages disappear and valuable data stored by companies can vanish if the firm goes bankrupt. And that’s assuming we still know how to access obsolete formats.

Group 47 in Woodland Hills, California, is working on ways to get around the fact that our drives and discs have a limited lifespan. Instead of writing 1s and 0s as magnetic signals, they write them as microscopic dots onto metal tape, using a laser in a system called DOTS. The tape is then stored in cartridges. A high resolution digital camera can read the data back, but all a future human would need to retrieve the image is knowledge of binary code and a microscope. The firm says the tape should last hundreds of years without degrading and, crucially, doesn’t need any special climate-controlled storage.

https://www.newscientist.com/articl...tal-knowledge-for-future-generations-to-read/
 
This is something I've posted about quite a bit before.

And even today I discovered I can't access a Works Database file - see "Windows 10" thread for details.
 
Apocalypse coming that will end the Earth warns man who predicted stock crash
AN APOCALYPSE will hit the world within days, a top Christian evangelist who predicted this summer's economic crisis has warned.
By Tom Parfitt / Published 8th October 2015

Jim Bakker said the end is coming because God told him to wear black underwear.
Speaking on his TV show, he said: "The last time God told me to wear a colour was red, and what happened that day [August 21]? The stock market crashed.
"Today, God said, 'I want you to wear all black.' Even my shoes are black. My underwear is black. My socks are black."

His red outfit in August coincided with the downfall of the stock markets in the US, Europe and Asia.
Lori, his wife and co-host, told him the detail about his underwear was "too much information".
But Bakker disagreed, warning: "No, it is not too much information because when God says, 'Get the sin out', He meant, 'Get the sin out.'
"When you take over your enemy, you are to destroy every part of the enemy. I am in mourning because people aren't ready."

Bakker resigned as a minister from the Assemblies of God – a church based in Springfield, Missouri – in 1987 after being accused of rape.
He was convicted of fraud a year later but became a TV star after being released in the mid-1990s.


A Christian sect incorrectly predicted the the Earth would be "annihilated" with fire yesterday.
US religious group eBible Fellowship previously claimed the world would end on 21 May 2011 – but insisted the new date was correct.
Chris McCann, leader of the sect, said: "According to what the Bible is presenting it does appear that 7 October will be the day that God has spoken of...
"The world will pass away... It'll be gone forever. Annihilated."

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/lat...-Jim-Bakker-Show-stock-market-crash-Dow-Jones
 
Jim Bakker said the end is coming because God told him to wear black underwear.

An entirely reasonable inference to draw. Says a convicted fraudster.

As he doesn't mention any date he's not actually wrong. It's just that there may be a wait of a few billion years for it to happen.
 
Jim Bakker.
Does anybody trust anything he says these days?
 
Nope.

It looks like shit. I can't believe he's eating it.
 
On Oct. 7, eBible Fellowship recommended that everybody listen to its last-ever question-and-answer podcast with Chris McCann, because McCann believed that Oct. 7 would also Earth’s last day. On Oct. 8, the world was still here, and McCann had the unenviable task of explaining what had happened.

“Since it is now October 8th it is now obvious that we were incorrect regarding the world’s ending on the 7th,” he wrote in a statement sent to the many reporters who had reached out to him about his prediction. The statement was also posted on his Web site.

“There was much biblical information pointing to this date and we freely shared it with all. Yet, consistently stressing throughout the entire time period that the world ending on that date was a ‘strong likelihood,’ ” he wrote.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/wh...d-of-the-world-prediction-is-wrong/ar-AAfjdso
 
On Oct. 7, eBible Fellowship recommended that everybody listen to its last-ever question-and-answer podcast with Chris McCann, because McCann believed that Oct. 7 would also Earth’s last day. On Oct. 8, the world was still here, and McCann had the unenviable task of explaining what had happened.

“Since it is now October 8th it is now obvious that we were incorrect regarding the world’s ending on the 7th,” he wrote in a statement sent to the many reporters who had reached out to him about his prediction. The statement was also posted on his Web site.

“There was much biblical information pointing to this date and we freely shared it with all. Yet, consistently stressing throughout the entire time period that the world ending on that date was a ‘strong likelihood,’ ” he wrote.

Voltaire said “God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.” I suspect, if the world will end by Act of Deity, that the Cosmic Joker will choose a date that hasn't been calculated, prophesied, encoded within the Bible or randomly pulled out of a hat, just to thumb a nose at the doomsayers.
 
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