The Everlasting Mystery Of Teaspoons

catseye

catseye

Captain of motley gang of rag zealots
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A couple of years ago I bought (or, to be accurate was bought) a set of teaspoons. Six, basic, ordinary teaspoons to replace the bastards that have crept away over the years. Within moments, I was down to five teaspoons - one thrown out, fell down the back of a cupboard, who knows?
I laboured on with my five teaspoons, until a recent visit from my brother (not a known teaspoon supplier). After he'd left, I found I was back to six teaspoons. And no, he didn't see fit to buy me a spoon, nor did he leave one of his own spoons (I don't even think he does travel with spoons, but who knows?). These spoons match. The missing spoon returns, hooray!

As of today, I have seven teaspoons. I just went to the teaspoon pot, where they live on my window ledge, and another one has arrived. Again, it matches the rest, is clean and unstained, and nobody except me has been in the house for weeks. Either the dogs are secret teaspoon smugglers, or the buggers are breeding.
 
catseye said:
A couple of years ago I bought (or, to be accurate was bought) a set of teaspoons. Six, basic, ordinary teaspoons to replace the bastards that have crept away over the years. Within moments, I was down to five teaspoons - one thrown out, fell down the back of a cupboard, who knows?
I laboured on with my five teaspoons, until a recent visit from my brother (not a known teaspoon supplier). After he'd left, I found I was back to six teaspoons. And no, he didn't see fit to buy me a spoon, nor did he leave one of his own spoons (I don't even think he does travel with spoons, but who knows?). These spoons match. The missing spoon returns, hooray!

As of today, I have seven teaspoons. I just went to the teaspoon pot, where they live on my window ledge, and another one has arrived. Again, it matches the rest, is clean and unstained, and nobody except me has been in the house for weeks. Either the dogs are secret teaspoon smugglers, or the buggers are breeding.
Click to expand...
I'd be tempted to put spots of nail varnish on them to covertly track their movements.
 
catseye said:
A couple of years ago I bought (or, to be accurate was bought) a set of teaspoons. Six, basic, ordinary teaspoons to replace the bastards that have crept away over the years. Within moments, I was down to five teaspoons - one thrown out, fell down the back of a cupboard, who knows?
I laboured on with my five teaspoons, until a recent visit from my brother (not a known teaspoon supplier). After he'd left, I found I was back to six teaspoons. And no, he didn't see fit to buy me a spoon, nor did he leave one of his own spoons (I don't even think he does travel with spoons, but who knows?). These spoons match. The missing spoon returns, hooray!

As of today, I have seven teaspoons. I just went to the teaspoon pot, where they live on my window ledge, and another one has arrived. Again, it matches the rest, is clean and unstained, and nobody except me has been in the house for weeks. Either the dogs are secret teaspoon smugglers, or the buggers are breeding.
Click to expand...

I have more than six teaspoons but I would swear that the number varies.
 
SkepticalX said:
I wish I had your luck. I have had similar experiences with losing pens - my record is 20 minutes from purchase to parallel universe. So far, none have ever come back much less procreated in my desk drawer. :)
Click to expand...

At work I pick up at least a pen a day, often more, along with pencils and other stationery. Last week I dropped off about 20 at the local food bank as they're always short of them. I wonder of any're yours?
 
ramonmercado said:
I have more than six teaspoons but I would swear that the number varies.
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While we're on the subject of teaspoons, I had a woman come up to the checkout last week with her shopping .. one of the items she was buying was a teaspoon so I scanned it and a message flashed up on my screen 'IS THIS PERSON OVER THE AGE OF 18' .. seriously .. so I told her and we both had a chuckle, I asked her to promise me she wasn't going to stab anyone with it ..
 
And I thought my wife and I were the only ones to experience the teaspoon phenomenon.

Have any of you read Avram Davidson's story "Or All the Seas with Oysters"? It speculates that safety pins are the immature form of a life form, and when they disappear from wherever you keep them, they really run to the closet and metamorphose into all those wire coat hangers that clutter up the place. Could be something similar at work here.
 
catseye said:
A couple of years ago I bought (or, to be accurate was bought) a set of teaspoons. Six, basic, ordinary teaspoons to replace the bastards that have crept away over the years. Within moments, I was down to five teaspoons - one thrown out, fell down the back of a cupboard, who knows?
I laboured on with my five teaspoons, until a recent visit from my brother (not a known teaspoon supplier). After he'd left, I found I was back to six teaspoons. And no, he didn't see fit to buy me a spoon, nor did he leave one of his own spoons (I don't even think he does travel with spoons, but who knows?). These spoons match. The missing spoon returns, hooray!

As of today, I have seven teaspoons. I just went to the teaspoon pot, where they live on my window ledge, and another one has arrived. Again, it matches the rest, is clean and unstained, and nobody except me has been in the house for weeks. Either the dogs are secret teaspoon smugglers, or the buggers are breeding.
Click to expand...
This makes me smile, I work as support for adults with learning disabilities. I support a chap who collects all sorts , if he likes the look of something, it's his ! Spoons are a biggie ...to be found , in pockets, bed, bags, coats...anywhere and everywhere! ...I wonder has he been travelling and helping himself at other people's houses?
 
SquirrelsRus said:
This makes me smile, I work as support for adults with learning disabilities. I support a chap who collects all sorts , if he likes the look of something, it's his ! Spoons are a biggie ...to be found , in pockets, bed, bags, coats...anywhere and everywhere! ...I wonder has he been travelling and helping himself at other people's houses?
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Only if he's subsequently been to my house and offloaded!

Just checked. Still seven - although one has wandered off to the worksurface, but that might have been me. They need watching!
 
ChasFink said:
And I thought my wife and I were the only ones to experience the teaspoon phenomenon.

Have any of you read Avram Davidson's story "Or All the Seas with Oysters"? It speculates that safety pins are the immature form of a life form, and when they disappear from wherever you keep them, they really run to the closet and metamorphose into all those wire coat hangers that clutter up the place. Could be something similar at work here.
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I'd believe that theory, or worse, if it was about paperclips. Are you planning on writing a business letter?
 
Maybe this will help...

(https://www.researchgate.net/public...teaspoons_in_an_Australian_research_institute)

Note the follow up papers...

The case of the disappearing teaspoons: Longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute
Article (PDF Available) in BMJ (online) 331(7531):1498-500 · January 2006 with 607 Reads
DOI: 10.1136/bmj.331.7531.1498 · Source: PubMed

Cite this publication
Megan S C Lim
35.58Burnet Institute
Margaret E Hellard
Campbell K Aitken
39.01Burnet Institute


Abstract
To determine the overall rate of loss of workplace teaspoons and whether attrition and displacement are correlated with the relative value of the teaspoons or type of tearoom. Longitudinal cohort study. Research institute employing about 140 people. 70 discreetly numbered teaspoons placed in tearooms around the institute and observed weekly over five months. Incidence of teaspoon loss per 100 teaspoon years and teaspoon half life. 56 (80%) of the 70 teaspoons disappeared during the study. The half life of the teaspoons was 81 days. The half life of teaspoons in communal tearooms (42 days) was significantly shorter than for those in rooms associated with particular research groups (77 days). The rate of loss was not influenced by the teaspoons' value. The incidence of teaspoon loss over the period of observation was 360.62 per 100 teaspoon years. At this rate, an estimated 250 teaspoons would need to be purchased annually to maintain a practical institute-wide population of 70 teaspoons. The loss of workplace teaspoons was rapid, showing that their availability, and hence office culture in general, is constantly threatened.
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...follow up papers include:

Disappearing teaspoons: French data indicate global phenomenon

Disappearing teaspoons: Teabags and forks are confounding factors

Disappearing teaspoons: Method of spoon surveillance was not adequate

Disappearing teaspoons: Teaspoons may reappear

Disappearing teaspoons: Spoon solutions
 
I used to tell people about my pet theory: there's a creature that lives under the bath, behind the panel, that emerges at night and its diet consists of teaspoons, biros and single socks and the odd house key. The detritus that is found when one removes a bath panel is in fact the creature's excreta after eating said stuff.
 
AnonyJoolz said:
I used to tell people about my pet theory: there's a creature that lives under the bath, behind the panel, that emerges at night and its diet consists of teaspoons, biros and single socks and the odd house key. The detritus that is found when one removes a bath panel is in fact the creature's excreta after eating said stuff.
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Makes sense and it explains the 'Henry' bag-full of cr*p I removed when I recently took the bath side panel off.
 
Coal said:
Maybe this will help...

(https://www.researchgate.net/public...teaspoons_in_an_Australian_research_institute)

Note the follow up papers...



...follow up papers include:

Disappearing teaspoons: French data indicate global phenomenon

Disappearing teaspoons: Teabags and forks are confounding factors

Disappearing teaspoons: Method of spoon surveillance was not adequate

Disappearing teaspoons: Teaspoons may reappear

Disappearing teaspoons: Spoon solutions
Click to expand...


Interesting study! Also interesting to note that the habitat of the teaspoons makes a difference. Wonder if anyone has done a correlating study of the domestic teaspoon.
 
catseye said:
Interesting study! Also interesting to note that the habitat of the teaspoons makes a difference. Wonder if anyone has done a correlating study of the domestic teaspoon.
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Try 'google scholar'...

This is one of my favourite 'pseudo papers', and I really like how it's been studied and dissected like it was a real paper.

My other favourite (not nearly so 'spoofy', but still...) is:

On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit
http://journal.sjdm.org/15/15923a/jdm15923a.html

This contains the wonderful paraphrase ;

"The cognitive ability measures, including numeracy, were also negatively correlated with BSR*."



* Bullshit Receptivity (BSR)
 
The communal kitchen where I used to work was the haunt of a teaspoon obsessive. we used to find them lined up in order of size and grunginess along the sink edge.

Their obsession did not extend to washing up or arranging mugs.
 
Swifty said:
While we're on the subject of teaspoons, I had a woman come up to the checkout last week with her shopping .. one of the items she was buying was a teaspoon so I scanned it and a message flashed up on my screen 'IS THIS PERSON OVER THE AGE OF 18' .. seriously .. so I told her and we both had a chuckle, I asked her to promise me she wasn't going to stab anyone with it ..
Click to expand...

At least you didn't make her do the walk of shame without her teaspoon...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...dered-ID-Tesco-staff-tried-buy-TEASPOONS.html

"Yvette said: ‘He came back empty handed and said, "They wouldn't sell them to me". I thought he was taking the mickey and that he was joking. I couldn't believe it, I was gobsmacked. I said, 'What do you mean they are teaspoons'.
But Liam who studies public services at Burnley College and hopes to be a policeman said: ‘There were a few people in the store who I knew and I was very embarrassed.
‘It was bad enough that I was buying spoons anyway and I just wanted to get them and get out as fast as I could – but to get refused was even worse.
‘It was horrible, everybody was watching. I had to do the walk of shame out leaving without any teaspoons. I just left them there I didn't put them back. It was just embarrassing.'"
 
loreleilee said:
At least you didn't make her do the walk of shame without her teaspoon...
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I just didn't want to stir up any trouble .. I think one of the most ridiculous jobsworth stories like this I heard was the supermarket checkout staff member who refused to serve a bloke in his 70's alcohol because the bloke didn't have any ID on him proving he was over the age of 18 (this was about 20 years ago) .. and I remember once pulling into a garage in King's Bromley to refuel when I was 17 and then trying to buy a pack of cigarettes to be asked "Are you 16?" .. I just looked at him and said "You have to be 17 to drive?!" .. he mumbled oh yeah or something similar and then sold me the smokes. There's some idiots about.
 
Eyespy said:
The communal kitchen where I used to work was the haunt of a teaspoon obsessive. we used to find them lined up in order of size and grunginess along the sink edge.

Their obsession did not extend to washing up or arranging mugs.
Click to expand...
That reminds me of a place where I was being interviewed for a job. We went in the kitchen for a drink and on the counter was a big lump of green foam (used for flower arranging). Thrust into it was a forest of spoons, all in a filthy state. I didn't get the job, thankfully.
 
I can only sympathise with the OP...

Some years ago I bought two seperate sets of six teaspoons only to see them slowly and inexplicably vanish till there were just three left.

Suspecting foul play I queried Mrs Strange who denied any involvement.

...but ten years later in a rare, wild moment of weakness she admitted that when she used to make lunch for the children to take to school she would sometimes include a teaspoon if they had a yoghurt..

Much to my annoyance...it seems the spoons didn't always come back from school...
 
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