'The Last Thing 2020 Needs': Ouija Boards For A Quid

[Frideswide]

to my mind, if something has consequences then - at least at some level - it exists.

Too often ignored - and nicely put too

 

[Spookdaddy]

I should maybe state that when I said that I had 'personal experience of two occasions' I did not mean to imply that I was involved in the sessions; just that I know two individuals whose fuckedupness seemed to have been very specifically associated with the ouija.

My closest shave came when I was at university - an experience I originally related many years ago on the Snails thread (#18):

When I was at University four female friends of mine who shared a house got pissed with me and a couple of other mates and decided, as you do, to hit the Ouija board. Now I'm generally not very superstitious or nervous about much but for reasons I don't particularly want to go into I will under absolutely no circumstances get involved with a Ouija board, so I went home.

The following morning I was phoned by a pretty shaken up girl who asked me to go back round to the house. During the previous evenings session the participants had supposedly made contact with something. When asked its name it replied "Legion" (corny I know) and when asked where it was it replied "under the floor".

Now I had my doubts as one of the guys that had been involved was a notorious and occasionally cruel bullshitter and there was a running joke about the one or two slug trails that occasionally appeared in the morning on the living room carpet. We assumed the slugs lived under the carpet somewhere. Anyway, like any decent knight in shining armour, despite the hangover, I went around to the house prepared to calm everyone down and hopefully get fed. I was ushered into the living room which had been the site of the previous nights experience and shown the site which had greeted the girls that morning when they surfaced. Between the sofa and the back window, an area about three metres square, was an assorted mass of slugs and snails, hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of the little buggers. It never happened again I’m glad to say, especially as I was delegated the job of rounding them up and putting them in the back garden.

 

[escargot]

I should maybe state that when I said that I had 'personal experience of two occasions' I did not mean to imply that I was involved in the sessions; just that I know two individuals whose fuckedupness seemed to have been very specifically associated with the ouija.

My closest shave came when I was at university - an experience I originally related many years ago on the Snails thread (#18):

Positively Lovecraftian.

 

[Analogue Boy]

I should maybe state that when I said that I had 'personal experience of two occasions' I did not mean to imply that I was involved in the sessions; just that I know two individuals whose fuckedupness seemed to have been very specifically associated with the ouija.

My closest shave came when I was at university - an experience I originally related many years ago on the Snails thread (#18):

Great story. I wonder if the Ouija board is a way of getting in contact with animal consciousness? There certainly seemed to be a legion of slugs there.
It would explain the vague ramblings.

 

[Lb8535]

Positively Lovecraftian.

Teeny weenie little Cthulhu followers.

 

[bugmum]

So does that mean we can just throw salt at Cthulhu and he'll bugger off?

 

[Spookdaddy]

So does that mean we can just throw salt at Cthulhu and he'll bugger off?

I just used a dustpan and brush to scrape them into a wastebin, and then tipped the lot into a flowerbed. I didn't notice my sanity crumbling under the enormous weight of a nameless and unspeakably ancient cosmic horror, howling at me across vast wastes of time and space - but then I did have a hangover at the time and may simply not have noticed.

 

[Analogue Boy]

So does that mean we can just throw salt at Cthulhu and he'll bugger off?

Sea Gods. Lots of salinity. Not like likeTriffids. Ain’t necessarily gonna work.
However, I don’t think anyone tried an ice-cream van against a Lovecraftian nightmare.

 

[Analogue Boy]

I‘ve mentioned this here before but when we were at school back in 1872, the girls in our form started experimenting with Ouija while we were doing the more practical experiment - Laying on Hands Levitation Trick. One of them burst into tears and was in an extreme emotional state for a few days after she was told her boyfriend (a motorcyclist) was going to die in a crash.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Sea Gods. Lots of salinity. Not like likeTriffids. Ain’t necessarily gonna work.
However, I don’t think anyone tried an ice-cream van against a Lovecraftian nightmare.

Are the elder gods lactose-intolerant?

 

[hunck]

I‘ve mentioned this here before but when we were at school back in 1872, the girls in our form started experimenting with Ouija while we were doing the more practical experiment - Laying on Hands Levitation Trick. One of them burst into tears and was in an extreme emotional state for a few days after she was told her boyfriend (a motorcyclist) was going to die in a crash.

Did it happen to your knowledge?

 

[Analogue Boy]

Are the elder gods lactose-intolerant?

It’s the Flakes.

 

[Analogue Boy]

Did it happen to your knowledge?

Did what happen... The Ouija sessions, the crash or the levitations?

 

[hunck]

Did what happen... The Ouija sessions, the crash or the levitations?

Did the boyfriend die in a crash.

 

[Analogue Boy]

Did the boyfriend die in a crash.

To my knowledge.... no.

 

[Naughty_Felid]

Me. Not because I think they necessarily contact the afterlife, but because of the damage they can to do credulous people playing with them. Mind you, I'm not guaranteeing they don't contact something.

I gave up doing Tarot (as a party trick) because people were taking the readings seriously and acting on them.

Very good post.

 

[escargot]

I‘ve mentioned this here before but when we were at school back in 1872, the girls in our form started experimenting with Ouija while we were doing the more practical experiment - Laying on Hands Levitation Trick. One of them burst into tears and was in an extreme emotional state for a few days after she was told her boyfriend (a motorcyclist) was going to die in a crash.

My family and peer group were all WELL into the Ouija fad when I was a teenager. We did of course all ask when and how we were going to die. All I can remember is that my younger brother was going to cark it in a car crash and I would live to 79.

Only in 1980 did it occur to me that the prediction might have been the year 1979 rather than my age!

We were however correctly told at what age our older sister would marry.

 

[escargot]

Me. Not because I think they necessarily contact the afterlife, but because of the damage they can to do credulous people playing with them. Mind you, I'm not guaranteeing they don't contact something.

I gave up doing Tarot (as a party trick) because people were taking the readings seriously and acting on them.

My spooky auntie taught me to tell fortunes with playing cards. This was great fun as I'd see a little tableau, like a 3-D image, as I drew a card and put it down. Like say, a dog running off or a someone offering a ring or a present.

I'd describe it and the person would go white or grin or whatever. Dunno where the pictures came from, probably extreme self-suggestion.

 

[Cochise]

Very good post.

I do still find the Tarot cards aesthetically pleasing, although I no longer use them for their intended purpose.

 

[tagemoss]

i onced used a board to ask if mediums are full of shit and it said yes, they i asked if the board was full of shit and it also said yes, then i threw it in the trash and burned it while listening to heavy metal.

true story.








not.

 

[Spookdaddy]

I do still find the Tarot cards aesthetically pleasing, although I no longer use them for their intended purpose.

So what you're saying is that Cochise now plays Top Trumps with Death and The Devil.

And if there isn't a Tom Waits song in there somewhere, call me The Fool.

 

[Mythopoeika]

i onced used a board to ask if mediums are full of shit and it said yes, they i asked if the board was full of shit and it also said yes, then i threw it in the trash and burned it while listening to heavy metal.

true story.








not.

Was the board this message board? Of course, we're all full of shit.

 

[Analogue Boy]

I do still find the Tarot cards aesthetically pleasing, although I no longer use them for their intended purpose.

I used to do Tarot but also gave it a rest too. I only did readings for friends and family but some kept coming back quite often and I thought things were getting a bit out of hand.

 

[Mythopoeika]

I used to do Tarot but also gave it a rest too. I only did readings for friends and family but some kept coming back quite often and I thought things were getting a bit out of hand.

Just charge money. They'll stop coming.