Toilet Talk

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I went looking for this weird old song on the first day of last month.

I found a different version. Now I see that someone posted the version I really wanted on the last day of August!

It's nothing to do with toilets but it has some very silly lyrics about flies. I loved it as a kid. :clap:
Yeah, that's a jolly little tune - and a little weird, thanks JW...

"The flies crawled up the window
in sunshine and in rain.
They do not seek for pleasure,
they much prefer the “pane”

*groan - terrible pun there :) *
 
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She's got the runs.

Police in Colorado are looking for a mystery jogger - dubbed "the Mad Pooper" - who keeps defecating outside a family's home.

Cathy Budde says the woman has left human waste in front of her property about seven times in recent weeks, even though there are public toilets nearby.

She says her children caught the runner in the act, squatting by their house in Colorado Springs.

The city police department said such behaviour is "abnormal".

"It's not something I've seen in my career," Sgt Johnathan Sharketti told KKTV.

"For someone to repeatedly do such a thing, it's uncharted territory for me."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41327420?ocid=socialflow_twitter
 

Min Bannister

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There is a stooshie in Amsterdam at the moment as a woman has been fined for urinating in public. Sounds fair enough don't you think? Well not when you consider that Amsterdam has 35 public urinals for men and only 3 toilets for women.

The case of a Dutch woman fined €90 (£80; $105) for relieving herself in an alleyway in the centre of Amsterdam has turned into a debate about sexism.

The Dutch capital offers 35 public urinals for men compared with just three toilets designed for women.

Geerte Piening, 23, was caught short after a night out drinking in Amsterdam's vibrant Leidseplein in 2015. It was past closing time and the nearest public toilet was a couple of kilometres away, so she decided to find a quiet street while her friends kept watch.

She was caught by three police officers. "At the time I really didn't want to get involved in a discussion," she said. "But the next day I thought, just a minute, I'm going to fight this."

The judge, in this case a man, told her she should have used one of the men's facilities rather than resorting to urinating in public - an offence known as "wildplassen" in Dutch.
Bog equality now!
 

maximus otter

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There is a stooshie in Amsterdam at the moment as a woman has been fined for urinating in public.
Has the woman no wits? Amsterdam, with its thousands of bicycles, is the perfect location for world cyclist Josie Dew's method: Simply carry an old-fashioned cyclist's cape:



Then, if the fillings start to rust, simply locate a nearby bicycle, don said cape and squat down near the rear derailleur as if adjusting something technical.

Proximity to a drain recommended but not crucial.

maximus otter
 

escargot

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Has the woman no wits? Amsterdam, with its thousands of bicycles, is the perfect location for world cyclist Josie Dew's method: Simply carry an old-fashioned cyclist's cape:



Then, if the fillings start to rust, simply locate a nearby bicycle, don said cape and squat down near the rear derailleur as if adjusting something technical.

Proximity to a drain recommended but not crucial.

maximus otter
Some years ago the Guardian did an investigation into the best way to stay dry on a bike and the good old-fashioned cycling cape came out on top. Mysteriously, the more relieving features of the garment were not mentioned.
 

kamalktk

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hunck

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Twice in the past few weeks I've opened my front door to find a small heap of shit on one of the 3 steps leading down from it to my garden path. I think it's probably a fox unless Shirley is taking it to the world.
 
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A woman has emerged from a portable toilet after being locked inside for 48 hours for charity.

Louisa Marnoch, 47, was greeted by well-wishers as she left the cubicle in the lobby of Tesco in Milton, Cambridgeshire, on Saturday evening.

She raised about £5,000, taking a fund to buy a wheelchair for local man Thomas Grice over its £25,000 target.

"I don't usually get that kind of reception when I leave the toilet - and I'm glad of that," she said.

During her time inside the toilet, she lived on sandwiches, cereal bars, crisps and chocolate.

She slept in a sleeping bag and fortunately, when nature called, facilities were at hand.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41713773
 

escargot

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There is a stooshie in Amsterdam at the moment as a woman has been fined for urinating in public. Sounds fair enough don't you think? Well not when you consider that Amsterdam has 35 public urinals for men and only 3 toilets for women.


Bog equality now!
That's shocking, though if non-customers are allowed to use cafe and bar toilets there might not appear to be a need. When I was there I didn't notice a problem.
 
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Didn't know there was a World Toilet Day. The organisers are probably flushed with success.

World Toilet Day: Committed to improving sanitation facilities, says Modi
Posted By: PTI
Updated: Sunday, November 19, 2017, 14:27 [IST]

New Delhi, Nov 19: Prime Minister Narendra Modi reaffirmed his government's commitment to improving sanitation facilities across the country and hailed all those involved in building toilets.

https://www.oneindia.com/india/worl...edium=tweet-button&utm_campaign=article-tweet
 
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Another politician takes the piss.

A minister from India's ruling party has been criticised for urinating in the open, despite a government drive to persuade people to use toilets.

Video of Ram Shinde relieving himself in a field in Maharashtra went viral on World Toilet Day and has been shared thousands of times on social media.

Opponents said it proves PM Narendra Modi's cleanliness campaign has failed.

But the minister said he had to answer the call of nature because he felt unwell - and couldn't find a toilet.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-42048392?ocid=socialflow_twitter
 
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Nasty toilet talk results in violence. Fight during comedy cruise is no laughing matter.

A 37-year old Russian woman has been charged with allegedly glassing a 21-year-old man with an empty wine bottle during an argument on board P&O cruise ship Pacific Explorer.

NSW Police say a fight broke out between several men on board the ship after an argument about a toilet line queue, early on Sunday morning.

During the fight, the 37-year-old woman, who is the partner of one of the men, allegedly hit the 21-year-old man on the head with the empty wine bottle, causing a laceration.

Police said ship security separated the men and they were detained.

The man with the injury was treated by medical personnel on board.

P&O Cruises said it asked the NSW Police Marine Area Command to come to the ship yesterday morning as a "result of their behaviour on board overnight".

"This is in line with our strict policy of zero tolerance of excessive behaviour that affects the safety, comfort and enjoyment of other guests. While these occurrences are rare, we have no hesitation in taking strong action when necessary to adhere to this policy," a P&O spokesman said in a written statement.

The cruise was billed as a "Comedy Cruise gala" on the P&O website, featuring three days at sea from Sydney.

Police said yesterday afternoon, six men, including the injured man, and the woman, were removed from the ship at Bradley's Head after the ship was forced to return to port after the incident.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-...tm_content=ABCNewsmail_topstories_articlelink
 

Swifty

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JamesWhitehead

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Is it really worth killing yourself over?
There was a ghastly case of death from chronic constipation recently. A Down's Syndrome youth under hospital care did not have the full extent of his condition investigated. The manner of his death was so horrible I will omit it.

Whether someone could duplicate those conditions by sheer will-power remains to be seen! :dpoo:
 

Swifty

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The customers will suffer in the end.

Taiwan retailers have seen a rush on toilet paper over the weekend, as word spread of an imminent sharp price rise.

Shoppers used social media to post pictures of empty shelves where the product would usually be.

Manufacturers have written to retailers warning that prices are set to rise by 10% to 30% next month, as extra costs are passed on to customers.

But some shoppers said they bulk-bought because of fears the product would run out, rather than over price worries.

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-43195467
 

GNC

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Reminds me of the story back in the 90s where Afghans were buying as many toilet rolls as possible because the ruling Taliban were supposedly planning on banning all paper. They were doing so because you could write Allah, or passages from the Koran, on the paper, which was said to be blasphemous, though quite why you would want to is another matter.
 

Mythopoeika

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Reminds me of the story back in the 90s where Afghans were buying as many toilet rolls as possible because the ruling Taliban were supposedly planning on banning all paper. They were doing so because you could write Allah, or passages from the Koran, on the paper, which was said to be blasphemous, though quite why you would want to is another matter.
So...what are Korans printed on?
 
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