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Toilet Talk

Unravelled, the loo roll that doesn't need to be torn open
By Sean Poulter, Consumer Affairs Editor
Last updated at 8:26 AM on 13th July 2010

Some claim to come up with their best ideas in the bathroom.

But there is one lavatorial conundrum that has long perplexed even the most philosophical visitor to the facilities: how do you get a new loo roll to unravel without having to rip the first few sheets to shreds?

Fortunately, while scientists have been occupied with putting men on the moon and decoding the human genome, supermarket technologists may have found the answer.

After spending more than £3million studying the science of loo rolls, Asda has unveiled a modified toilet paper design – featuring ‘easy start roll technology’. 8)

The supermarket claims it has developed a ‘bespoke engineering solution’ which decants precisely the right quantity of glue on to each roll, allowing ‘an easy tear and start’.

Traditionally, toilet roll is bound and glued so tightly that it is impossible to free the first sheet without having to tear through it.

An Asda spokesman said: ‘If the roll is sealed in a conventional way there is usually too much glue and this sometimes causes the first few sheets to tear and shred.

‘This leads to frustrated and disappointed shoppers, not to mention a large amount of waste.

‘However our Asda Shades Best Ever loo roll is the first toilet tissue on the market to provide easy start roll technology.

‘Our product managers have actively developed a new technology that alleviates this stress for loo users, and ultimately reduces waste.

The technology we use is a bespoke engineering solution which allows the amount of glue to be staggered.

‘Therefore, each roll has the optimum amount, allowing an easy tear and start to the roll. Basically, the machine controls the amount of glue applied so it isn’t stuck firmly.’

Amy Greenhow, development technologist at Asda, said: ‘We are very proud. We have listened to shoppers and provided a range of products that gives customers exactly what they want.

‘Bringing the easy start roll technology to our shoppers is a big deal for this market. ‘It could be suggested that our competitors are offering shoppers a bum deal by not providing a solution to this problem.’

Phil Wilkinson, marketing manager for paper at Asda, added: ‘ There has been over £3million invested in the development of the Asda Shades range.
‘Easy start roll technology is only one of several product developments that we are providing for our shoppers.’

Other items in the Asda Shades line, produced as a result of the supermarket’s research, include a loo roll with an odour-neutralising cardboard core. ;)

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z0tYWJzX5L
 
This story is a candidate for a couple of other threads too... ;)

Shopping centre bosses approve 'Asian squat toilets' following cultural awareness course
By James Tozer
Last updated at 8:43 PM on 14th July 2010

For centuries, the great British loo has been a matter of envy to the rest of the world.
Thanks to the efforts of pioneers like the legendary Thomas Crapper, we have long since led the world in comfort and hygiene.

Now, however, that could be about to change.

For most of us, the squat toilet is nothing more than a staple of horror stories about old-fashioned French service stations or the exploits of adventurous backpackers in far-flung parts of India.

But this basic form of plumbing, also known as a Turkish toilet or Nile pan, could be coming to a shopping centre near you - and all in the name of cultural sensitivity.

From next week, shoppers in Rochdale who push open the cubicle door expecting the reassuring sight of a modern, clean lavatory could instead be faced with little more than a hole in the ground.

Bosses of the Greater Manchester town's Exchange mall have installed two as part of an upgrade costing several thousand pounds after attending a cultural awareness course run by a local Muslim community activist.

A familiar sight in parts of the Middle East, and still sometimes seen in France and Italy, the toilets require users to squat above them, rather than sitting.
With one in ten of Rochdale's population of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, centre managers say they have been told some members of the local Asian community prefer them for cultural reasons.

The town hit the headlines during this year's General Election campaign when pensioner Gillian Duffy was dismissed by Gordon Brown as a 'bigoted woman' when she voiced concern about immigration.

News of the introduction of squat toilets was met by disbelief, however.

'This strikes me as a classic case of excessive pandering to a politically correct minority,' said Philip Davies, Conservative MP for Shipley.

'We in Britain are rightly proud of our toilets, and the onus is on people who come to this country to appreciate them for what they are.
'It's absolutely ludicrous - Thomas Crapper would be turning in his grave!'

etc...

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z0tjuTv7AF

I once posted a personal tale of an unexpected effect of squatting to crap, but I can't find it now. (It was probably on a culled thread.) If I can work up the energy, I may retell it.
 
I used one in rural Italy. It certainly wasn't 'little more than a hole in the ground', being made of porcelain like any other lavvy fitting.
 
I once posted a personal tale of an unexpected effect of squatting to crap, but I can't find it now. (It was probably on a culled thread.) If I can work up the energy, I may retell it.
Click to expand...

Oh, do tell Rynner!

Theres an old Irish curse:
May You Be Showered With Shite!
Click to expand...
 
ramonmercado said:
Oh, do tell Rynner!
Click to expand...

Oh, all right...


It was a dark and stormy night....

Oh, sorry, wrong story - start again...


Long, long ago, in a desert far, far away there was a drilling rig, penetrating the petrified ages in search of oil. A younger (and slimmer) rynner was working there, allegedly as a geologist.

Around the rig and its machinery were cabins for the personnel, a shower block, and a cook-house and mess-room for eating and playing cards...

The desert stretched all around, stony, sandy and barren, with barely a glimpse of green, unless distant rain had caused a flash-flood in the nearby wadi.

But something was missing - toilets!

To answer a call of nature, each man had to take a bog-roll and wander out into the desert until he felt sufficiently isolated, and then squat to do his business (preferably with nose upwind).

After many weeks of this, young rynner was transferred to a completely different rig - it was up in the French Alps, and snow was frequent, it being winter. rynner was billeted with a French family in a nearby village - and then it became apparent that the weeks of squatting in the desert had wreaked changes in his defecatory system - he was producing massive turds, which conventional toilet bowls found hard to handle!

rynner's landlady asked him (as delicately as possible) not to dispose of paper down the toilet, as it was causing blockages. But young rynner's French was inadequate to explain that he hadn't been stuffing paper down the loo...! :oops:

No doubt the French family were happy when young rynner was sent off to the North Sea instead...
 
One for the laydeez:

Police consider device to help female officers caught short on the beat
By Chris Lawrence
Last updated at 12:55 AM on 7th August 2010

A police force is considering introducing a device that will help female officers who are caught short while on patrol.
WPCs from Cambridgeshire would be able to respond to calls of nature without breaking stride if the 'Shewees' - a plastic funnel that allows women to urinate without removing any clothing - are given the go ahead by police chiefs.

A Freedom of Information request has revealed the £7.50 devices were 'still under consideration,' even though an earlier trial concluded there was 'not a great need for them.'
And the policy shift could see the funnels farmed out to each of the force's 380 women officers, at a cost of nearly £3,000.
The force was one of the first in the country to trial the device, which could fit discreetly beneath officers' uniforms.

The device is available in five colours, including blue, and is the brainchild of Samantha Fountain. :rofl:

The 33-year-old designer failed to secure investment when she presented her gadget on the 2005 series of BBC's Dragons' Den.
But it has since gained widespread popularity among festival goers, pregnant women and hikers.

Fiona McEvoy, of the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: 'Many women do jobs that require them to be out and about and they've always managed without special equipment - Cambridgeshire Police are just creating a problem that doesn't exist.'

A Cambridgeshire police spokeswoman declined to comment on the trial.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z0vuUzCpaQ
 
Well, Ive......

Apparently there are men who have trouble going in the great outdoors.
 
Firefighters rescue boy with head stuck in toilet seat

Firefighters in Essex used cutting equipment to rescue an 18-month-old boy who had a toilet seat stuck on his head.

The boy, from Loughton, had put the training toilet seat on his head but it slipped down over his ears.

Firefighter Steve Seary said: "It was around his neck, but it wasn't causing him any difficulties. We used a pedal cutter... to cut the toilet seat away.

"The boy was really brave and sat still so we could work."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-10979486
 
'Author JD Salinger's toilet' put on sale for $1m

A toilet described as once having belonged to US author JD Salinger has been put on sale on the online auction site eBay for $1m (£644,000).

The vendor says he obtained the "used toilet commode" from a couple who now own the former home of the Catcher in the Rye author.

It comes "uncleaned and in its original condition", the ad for it states. :shock:

"Who knows how many of [his] stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on this throne!", it adds.

The toilet comes with a letter from Joan Littlefield, attesting that the toilet was removed during renovations to her and her husband's house in Cornish, New Hampshire, formerly owned by the reclusive author.

She writes that they knew all the workmen who installed the toilet decades ago when Salinger had work done on the house.

There have been a number of bids on the item.

Salinger died in January, aged 91.

His most famous work, The Catcher in the Rye, has sold tens of millions of copies.

The tale of adolescent alienation has become one of the most influential American novels of the modern era since it was first published in 1951.

He became disillusioned with the publishing industry and moved to Cornish where he withdrew from society.

He continued to write, however, and is believed to have completed 15 manuscripts. It is these that the vendor suggests may have been dreamed up while sitting on the toilet.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11044329
 
rynner2 said:
'Author JD Salinger's toilet' put on sale for $1m

A toilet described as once having belonged to US author JD Salinger has been put on sale on the online auction site eBay for $1m (£644,000).
Click to expand...

I should think most people would prefer the manuscripts!
 
Police are investigating what evidence there is to confirm it was Sallingers. Apparently they currently have nothing to go on..... :cry:
 
linesmachine said:
Police are investigating what evidence there is to confirm it was Sallingers. Apparently they currently have nothing to go on..... :cry:
Click to expand...

I hear they are getting a shit hot investigator from the FBI.
 
Cops: Jersey City senior holds toilet handle while water company impostor ransacks house

Published: Monday, November 17, 2008, 8:56 PM
Updated: Monday, November 17, 2008, 10:03 PM

Ken Thorbourne/The Jersey Journal

A man pretending to be a United War employee gained entry to an apartment on Cator Avenue in Jersey City this afternoon and then stole $3,650 from the 91-year-old resident, reports said.

Responding to a knock on her front door around 2 p.m., the female resident told police she found a man who told her he was an employee with the water company and that "there was an emergency" and "he had to check the water," reports said.

The man first opened and shut a faucet in the kitchen and then went into the victim's bathroom where he flushed the toilet, reports said.

The man then instructed the victim to "hold down the flush handle or else the house will explode," reports said.

The victim, who said the man was speaking to someone on his cellphone the entire time he was in her house, did as she was told, reports said.

But after about two minutes, the victim told police "I didn't care if the house exploded" and walked into her living-room, at which time she discovered her house had been ransacked, reports said.

The man -- described as white, slender, and in his 40s -- got away with $3,650 in cash the victim kept in a metal box, reports said.

© 2009 New Jersey On-Line LLC.
Click to expand...
 
Phone box turned into lavatory
A pensioner has found a novel use for an old red telephone box, turning it into a lavatory.
Published: 10:00PM BST 03 Sep 2010

John Long, 73, spent months converting the cubicle into a loo after finding the disused box in a reclamation yard in Carhampton, Somerset.

The retired salesman, from Taunton, Somerset, fitted the telephone box with a porcelain lavatory pan, hand basin, high-level cistern, frosted glass panes, a heater and a red tennis ball on the end of the lavatory chain.

He said: ''I've done lots of projects, but this is one of the biggest. It's worked out extremely well – better than expected.

''I've wanted a red telephone box for years and I didn't have an outside lavatory, so I thought I could combine the two.

''To be honest, I probably use it more often than the internal lavatory now. It's just so convenient.'' 8)

Mr Long spent months transforming the telephone box and even crept out at night to measure another box down the road to check everything would fit.

''I took a pan to a red telephone kiosk down the road, sat on it, hoping and praying no one would come along and take me off to a nut house,'' he said. :shock:

''Because of the high-level cistern, the water comes down like an avalanche."

Despite their decline in numbers in recent years, the red telephone box regularly tops polls as one of Britain's most iconic structures.

The Post Office first introduced red phone boxes in the 1920s designed by Sir Gilbert Scott.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... atory.html
 
I though people used phone boxes as lavatories anyway. The old style ones always seem to smell of wee...
 
US man to be charged with toilet paper assault
A man is facing an assault charge for allegedly hitting a town hall custodian on the back of the head with a roll of toilet paper because he was angry the cleaning man was whistling while he worked.
Published: 5:16PM BST 15 Oct 2010

Police in Framingham, Massachusetts, say the 55-year-old man was in the town hall on Wednesday using the bathroom. The custodian, who didn't realise anyone was in the rest room, whistled as he replenished toilet paper rolls.

The custodian told police he was in a stall when he was struck. The accused yelled at him about whistling and fled. The custodian pursued him, and the man was apprehended by police outside.

Police told The MetroWest Daily News that the accused will be summoned to court to face an assault and battery charge.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... sault.html

I must admit, I hate people whistling too - especially as none of them can keep in tune! :twisted:
 
I take it Framingtram, Massachusetts is one of those places in the US with not enough crime, yes?
 
Framingham is the place where a lot of the epidemiological data on cardiovascular disease orginates.
 
Glastonbury loses Battle of Portaloo: 2012 festival off because Olympics needs all the police and portable toiletsBy Katie Nicholl
Last updated at 10:00 PM on 16th October 2010

They've survived lashing rain, knee-deep mud and howling winds, but it seems there is one thing hardy Glastonbury revellers cannot endure – a shortage of toilets.

Organisers have taken the surprise decision to cancel the world-famous music event in 2012 because so many of the nation’s Portaloos will be in use at the Olympics. The organisers have also been warned that police will be unable to properly cover the event in Somerset because hundreds of their officers will be drafted into London for the Games.

etc...

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z12bj49WJc
 
Oh.

So some silly one off takes precedence over a well established event.

And if the police are too busy with the olympics....what else will be neglected?
 
When you've got to go, you've got to go - the 'pocket toilet' goes on sale for festivals and family holidays
By Sean Poulter
Last updated at 9:28 AM on 11th November 2010

The idea of being caught short is mortifying to most people.
The lay-bys of Britain are littered with children weeing behind a bush, while many festivals are reduced to smelly bogs by desperate people who cannot find a Portaloo.

However, a £3.99 ‘pocket toilet’ claims to offer a solution without any embarrassment.
Car accessories and leisure retailer Halfords has seen a massive boost in demand for this latest ‘convenience’ product - even as a Christmas present.
The £3.99 accessory from Ardern Healthcare has become a must-have for festival goers and those going away at holiday time and risking logjam traffic conditions.

The trend came to light when Halfords analysed trading data and noticed large peaks with sales increasing by more than 50 per cent during the summer months, with particular spikes during the music festivals weekends such as Glastonbury, The Big Chill and T in the Park.
The product also looks set to be one of the more unusual Christmas presents with last December sales increasing by more than 250 per cent.

The pocket toilet is said to be very discreet and easily fits into a glove compartment.
It consists of a pad which is in a small plastic bag. The user wees into the bag where the pad captures the liquid and turns it into a gel in a matter of seconds.
The makers boast that it ensures ‘no leaks, smells, or mess, is super absorbent and ideal for all males aged 3 - 103’. However, it might also be useful to women.

A Halfords spokesman said: 'We want to help our customers stay on the move and enjoy their journeys.
‘This very effective product is great for “staycationing” and festival-going which involves some longer journeys with no guarantee where the next place to stop will be.
'We believe Christmas demand is due to people stocking up for round trips across the country to see relatives and loved ones - we don’t believe they are being bought as presents.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z14y6Z3F63

£3.99 for a wee! :shock:
 
World Toilet Day is coming up on the 19th November

http://www.worldtoilet.org/WTD/index.asp

World Toilet Day is celebrated on November 19 of every year.
The World Toilet Organization is the main driver for this global event.
WTO, a global non-profit organization committed to improving toilet and sanitation conditions worldwide.
 
Boss orders female staff to wear red bracelets when they are on their periods
By Ian Sparks
Last updated at 5:36 PM on 30th November 2010

A boss in Norway has ordered all female staff to wear red bracelets during their periods - to explain why they are using the toilet more often.
The astonishing demand was revealed in report by a workers' union into 'tyrannical' toilet rules in Norwegian companies.

The study claimed businesses were becoming obsessed with lost productivity due to employees spending too much time answering the call of nature.
It found 66 per cent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks.
Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet 'visitors book', the report by the Parat union said.

It added: 'But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo.
'Women quite justifiably feel humiliated by being tagged in this way, so that all their colleagues are aware of this intimate detail of their private life.'

The report, which did not name the firm imposing red bracelets on female staff, has now been passed on to Norway's chief comsuner ombudsman Bjorn Erik Thon.
He said: 'These are extreme cases of workplace monitoring, but they are real.
'Toilet Codes relating to mentrual cycles are clear violations of privacy and is very insulting to the people concerned.
'I hope and believe that this is not representative of the Norwegian working life in general.
'We receive many complaints about monitopring in the workplace, which is becoming a growing problem as it is so often being used for something other than what it was originally intended for.
'We will be carrying out a full review of the rules surrounding employment and privacy over the coming year.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z16qwo0u9N
 
Now cross your legs: Britain's public lavatories are vanishing fast
By Rob Hastings and Jonathan Brown
Thursday, 10 February 2011

Name a lavatory Emerald Isle and you might expect to be derided. Public conveniences rarely invite allusions to precious stones or sun-kissed atolls. Those on Notting Hill's Westbourne Grove are an exception. Housed alongside a florist in a building designed with the sleek lines of a Victorian steam yacht, they are some of the more inviting loos in London.

Walk inside and the cubicles and urinals are nothing out of the ordinary. But clean and fully functioning public lavatories are becoming rare in our towns and cities. This week's news that Manchester is to slash its number of conveniences from 17 to just one came as the British Toilet Association predicted that up to 1,000 are likely to close across the country this year.

While some conveniences have recently been celebrating wins in the association's Loo of the Year Awards, its director, Richard Chisnell, predicts the decline will continue. "The floodgates are now open," he said. "We have lost 30 to 40 per cent of our public toilets in the past 10 years and we estimate there are only 4,000 left. There are more sexy things in life than a public toilet but we all need to go for a pee."

Britain's first purpose-built public toilet opened in Aldwych outside the High Court in 1852, but their numbers in big cities are dwindling fast, with barely any left in Birmingham and Liverpool. According to Mr Chisnell, who set up the BTA in 1999, more people visit the City of Westminster's toilets each year than visit London theatres. He believes people are willing to pay to use them, and is trying to persuade politicians that the creation of new community lavatories is a potential vote winner.

The Emerald Isle provides a model that could keep the nation's loos flushing. Under an arrangement devised by local residents, the flower kiosk was included in the design to channel rent towards the upkeep of the lavatories, and the employment of a full-time attendant.

The building's architect, Piers Gough, said: "Public loos are a necessary part of a civilised world. They should be something that gives civic pride, as well as something that provides some income and other things such as benches and rest spaces."
Mr Gough said the florist had made the toilet a memorable landmark credited with helping to revitalise the area. The full-time attendant, who works six days a week and starts at 5am on Saturday mornings, works hard to ensure that they are kept clean – and her efforts are certainly popular with cab drivers.

One said "I've not found many elsewhere," he said. "What do you do? You either destroy your kidneys or end up peeing in the street."

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 09870.html
 
This sounds like slavery :evil:

rynner2 said:
Boss orders female staff to wear red bracelets when they are on their periods
By Ian Sparks
Last updated at 5:36 PM on 30th November 2010

A boss in Norway has ordered all female staff to wear red bracelets during their periods - to explain why they are using the toilet more often.
The astonishing demand was revealed in report by a workers' union into 'tyrannical' toilet rules in Norwegian companies.

The study claimed businesses were becoming obsessed with lost productivity due to employees spending too much time answering the call of nature.
It found 66 per cent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks.
Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet 'visitors book', the report by the Parat union said.

It added: 'But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo.
'Women quite justifiably feel humiliated by being tagged in this way, so that all their colleagues are aware of this intimate detail of their private life.'

The report, which did not name the firm imposing red bracelets on female staff, has now been passed on to Norway's chief comsuner ombudsman Bjorn Erik Thon.
He said: 'These are extreme cases of workplace monitoring, but they are real.
'Toilet Codes relating to mentrual cycles are clear violations of privacy and is very insulting to the people concerned.
'I hope and believe that this is not representative of the Norwegian working life in general.
'We receive many complaints about monitopring in the workplace, which is becoming a growing problem as it is so often being used for something other than what it was originally intended for.
'We will be carrying out a full review of the rules surrounding employment and privacy over the coming year.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z16qwo0u9N
Click to expand...
 
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