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Wild, Weird & Wacky Inventions

Also quit smoking, you'll save enough to be able to buy your own doctor.
 
How about alcohol that you can 'switch off'?

Get rat-arsed, take the antidote/hit the switch/whatever, go to bed sober (or start again!)
 
Another Star Trek invention. Called "synthahol", invented by those dasterdly Ferengi's.
 
beakboo said:
Another Star Trek invention. Called "synthahol", invented by those dasterdly Ferengi's.
Click to expand...

Beam me up, Scotty! :D
 
p.younger said:
Also quit smoking, you'll save enough to be able to buy your own doctor.
Click to expand...

Do you really think an angel would smoke? I hate the smell of cig smoke (don't mean to be offensive to anyone here who smokes), but it makes me feel sick. :(

Anyway it seems to be a lot better today after my trip to the Eden project yesterday. Maybe its just wishful thinking, but since I walked around the humid biome down there it feels a lot better! It was like being in a sauna! lol :)
*fingers crossed*

On the subject of Star Trek inventions, the holodeck has to be one of the best! Can I have my own holodeck in the spare room please? :D
 
Crappy inventions

Too much time not enough good ideas?

Then come up with some crappy inventions:

Inventor's waisted time leads to a brainstorm: The dual-size belt

August 12, 2004






ASSOCIATED PRESS



RAPID RIVER, Mich. -- It may not be ready for the world of infomercials, but F.E. Bradley says he is proud of his invention: the dual-size belt.


Bradley invented it four years ago after noticing he usually gains weight during winter and loses it in summer. He figured: Why keep two belts when you should need only one?


The belt uses a series of precisely placed snaps and slits to accommodate a variety of waistlines. A few pops, move the buckle, and the belt goes from a size 38 to a 40. Better yet, the design eliminates the unsightly dangling end that's usually the result of punching holes in a store-bought belt, he said.


It'd even be ideal, he said, for those who suffer that bloating feeling after quaffing a few too many beers. Patent 5,826,280 may do the trick.


"It's for anyone really, not just beer drinkers," says Bradley, who isn't fazed by the irony that while in the Army he fought in the World War II Battle of the Bulge.


During the past four years, Bradley says he has had to deal with shady patent attorneys, double-dealing invention licensing companies and the limitations of his fixed income.


The process has opened Bradley's eyes to the practical world of inventing, one that requires a person's ingenuity and sweat equity as well as their savings to get a product to market, he said.


"You've got to watch out for this and be aware of it," says Bradley, a snowbird who spends six months living in Delta County's Ensign Township and six months in La Feria, Texas. "They try to get old people."


Bradley was skeptical when he contacted lawyers and sellers. Once the patent was secured at a reasonable rate, he approached the Escanaba Wal-Mart store to see whether the belt would be worthy of America's largest retailer. Wal-Mart researchers said it wasn't.


But the store's former manager was impressed with the invention and advised Bradley to seek a study through the company's research and development arm.


It underwent a marketability study by Wal-Mart researchers, but was turned down on the opinion that it would be too complicated for the average consumer to use.


"A 3-year-old could use it," said Bradley, a retired carpenter. "They said it might be better in a smaller clothing store."


Since then, Bradley has decided to make and market his invention locally.


He is in talks with an Escanaba businessman who wants to start production.


"If I get someone to make the belts, they are going to be made in the USA," he said.
Click to expand...

http://www.freep.com/news/locway/invent12e_20040812.htm

Possibly it might come in handy if you get tempted by this thread:

http://www.forteantimes.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17130
 
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/08/18/wpinkl18.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/08/18/ixworld.html

German men told they can no longer stand and deliver
By Kate Connolly
(Filed: 18/08/2004)


German men are being shamed into urinating while sitting down by a gadget which is saving millions of women from cleaning up in the bathroom after them.




The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as "Stehpinkeln").

"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

The manufacturers of the WC ghost, Patentwert, say they are ready to direct their gadgets at the British market.

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: "Don't you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who's behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha."

They also plan to copy the voices of Tony Blair and the Queen.

So far 1.8 million WC ghosts have been sold in German supermarkets.

But Klaus Schwerma, author of Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity? doubts whether it will ever be possible to convert all men.

"Many insist on standing, even though it leads to much marital strife," he said.

In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a "Sitzpinkler", is equivalent to "wimp".
Click to expand...
 
I once knew a man who was a great misser....

I dont let him in my house anymore....
 
Several bars here in the states solve the problem by placing a plaque above the urinals that sez: "Step up ... you can't sharp-shoot with a derringer."
 
Great links - thanks Arthur. :cool:
 
Those Zany Japanese...

another highly ingenious totally useless application of technology. Though it would let Prince Charles's plants answer back

Flower power turns up the volume
Green-fingered gardeners have long espoused the positive benefits of talking to plants.
Now a gadget developed in Japan is allowing flowers to answer back - with music.

Called Ka-on, which means "flower sound" in Japanese, the gadget consists of a doughnut-shaped magnet and coil at the base of a vase.

It hooks up to a CD player, TV or stereo and relays sounds up through a plant's stem and out via the petals.

Happy plants

The speakers shoot sound in all directions, filling a room with music.

The idea is the brainchild of Let's Corp, a Japanese telecommunications equipment company.

It plans to develop a flower with a speaker phone to allow users to carry out conversations with their plants later this month.


As well as being a novel idea for flower table arrangements at weddings and reception desks, Ka-on is also being used for concerts in Japan.
The Ka-on vases and amplifiers come in various sizes, priced from £25 to £250.


President of Let's Corp Masumi Gotoh says that the system is also beneficial to the plants, keeping bugs off and helping them last longer.


"The plant is happy listening to music," he said.

"Gerberas and sunflowers work especially well as speakers," he added.

Surfers are responding to the musical flowers. Some 10,000 orders have been received via the internet and 3,000 have already been sold.


Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/technology/3656332.stm

Published: 2004/09/14 15:14:09 GMT

© BBC MMIV
Click to expand...
 
Thai lands prize for bizarre bra

Published on Sep 15, 2004


A female politician, a microphone and a bra may have nothing in common to the uninitiated, but one Thai designer has put the unusual mix together to land the top bizarreunderwear prize at an international art competition in New Zealand.

Inspired by New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark, Sreephum Srisopa, 29, created his Hot Speaker bra, attaching more than 10 microphones to a bra made from springmetal coils.

“I noticed that microphones are often placed at breast level for female speakers like Helen Clark, hence my inspiration to create a bra that can defy gravity as well as enhance the wearer’s voice in public,” Sreephum said.

The creation weighs almost four kilograms and is perfectly wearable, he said.

The bra comes with lighting for those who want an enhanced effect.

Associated Press reported that the New Zealand premier told a press conference that “with all the microphones coming out” the Hot Speaker bra resembled her when she gave speeches.

Sreephum said the premier seemed pleased with his design and held a photo session with him.

He said he wanted to teach product design after completing his graduate studies at King Mongkut’s Institute of Technology, Lat Krabang campus.

The competition organiser, the World of Wearable Arts Award, is exhibiting Sreephum’s design at a gallery in Nelson, New Zealand, pending negotiations for its sale.

The award carries a Bt112,000 cash prize.

Sreephum was one of three Thai designers to win awards.

Krissada Thongpan and Wasupa Assarasupreecha won the Bizarre Children’s Wear and Creative Design for Fluorescent Garments categories respectively.

A total of seven awards were up for grabs.

-----------------------------
Sucheera Pinijparakarn

The Nation
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http://nationmultimedia.com/page.news.php3?clid=2&id=120899&usrsess=1
 
Spooky angel said:
Do you really think an angel would smoke? I hate the smell of cig smoke (don't mean to be offensive to anyone here who smokes), but it makes me feel sick. :(
Click to expand...

Nah! go on be offensive to smokers. They deserve it for what seems to be a tremendously expensive way of poisoning yourself. I too hate the smell but I am not so nice about it.

"Chris is it ok if I smoke in your home?"
"Only if you want to leave the property in mid-air..."

Hope your Cough has cleared up. Hope you were taking expectorants and not supressants. Cough it up. Better out than in and all that. Perhaps one day someone will invent a mucus hoover that will suck all the infected mucus out of your lungs when you are coughing. Need a Dyson or a Vax for a smokers lung ;)

I really must pop to the Eden project one day... I keep putting it off :rolleyes:
 
Gadget Helps Women Use Bathroom in Japan

Mon Oct 4,10:24 AM ET

Technology - AP

By AIKO HAYASHI, Associated Press Writer

TOKYO - When Naoko Ito uses a public bathroom, she cringes in embarrassment at the thought that other patrons can hear the sounds coming from her stall. That's when she turns to the "Sound Princess."



Ito, like a rapidly growing number of Japanese women, presses a device installed in public toilets to simulate the sound of water flushing — and mask the cruder noises of nature.

"I usually use the flushing sound when I go to a public bathroom, such as at a department store, because I get a bit self-conscious," said Ito, a 60-year-old waitress.

The device — a curious mix of Japanese bashfulness and modern technology — is spreading rapidly through public buildings and has now become standard equipment for new construction.

Leading toilet producer Toto Ltd. has sold 500,000 of their "Sound Princess" — "Oto-Hime" in Japanese — since 1988, and the company says orders surged 125 percent in 2003 alone.

"The core of our clientele is schools and companies," Toto spokeswoman Kumi Goto said. "Japanese women are very embarrassed by the sounds they make in a toilet."

There's another reason behind the increase in the gadgets: ecology. Women in Japan have traditionally flushed several times to cover up their noises, so the Sound Princess is saving water and cutting down on public building operators' utility bills.

The Sound Princess is fairly simple. The user passes her hand over a sensor, and the convincing sound of a torrent of water comes from a speaker.

Such gadgets might seem a dainty, modern excess of a shame-obsessed society, but the Sound Princess has deep roots in Japanese culture.

The Japanese are notoriously fastidious: the daily bath is practiced with near-religious fervor, and walking inside with your shoes on is considered filthy. The Japanese word for clean — "kirei" — also means beautiful.

And what happens in a bathroom stall is, well, among the dirtiest things that humans do.

Going to the toilet has been considered embarrassing and even shameful for women since ancient times in Japan, said Noriji Suzuki, a parasitologist at Kochi University Medical School.

"Sometimes you see people talking to each other over a stall in Western countries, but that would never happen in our culture," he said.

The trend is not limited to women these days. Some schools have done away with urinals because boys are increasingly too embarrassed to use the stalls, since going there would tell onlookers exactly what's going to happen next.

Tadafumi Morioka, a spokesman for another Japanese toilet maker, INAX Corp., said his company also started selling a similar product in 1988 amid concerns of wasted water.

He said the installment rate of such devices in modern skyscrapers in Japan is 100 percent. INAX's sales increased 25 percent in 2003, Morioka said, although he refused to give precise numbers.

"Most of the demands for the device come from public facility owners and managers including department stores and elementary and junior high schools," he said.



But for now, "Oto-Hime" seems to likely to remain for women only.

"I still haven't heard of men who say they want 'Oto-hime' in men's rooms," said Goto.
Click to expand...

Source
 
Adrian Veidt said:
I kind of liked one of the ideas mooted for Minority Report, but not used in the final film. It was the 'Smart Toilet' which would analyse whatever you *ahem* deposit, and issue dietary advice based on its findings.
Mind you, if I had one of those it would either spend most of the time sobbing pathetically and trying to hurl itself from the bathroom window. Or say things like 'Quick, check your pulse! Are you SURE you're still alive??' :eek:
Click to expand...

Unfortunately the Japanese already produce one of these although it is limited to analysing liquid waste only I believe.
 
Totally absurd inventions and patents

http://www.totallyabsurd.com/

My friend was showing me this website last night, it's based entirely on actual patents that have been filed.

The bunny syringe is one of my favourites:

bunny_syringe.GIF


and possibly second only to the horror of the toilet snorkel:

toilet%20snorkel.GIF


Well it tickled me :D
 
Cool!

I remember reading about the toilet snorkel years ago. The idea of the thing was this: People trapped in burning buildings could use it for breathing "clean" air through the plumbing pipes as the user's surroundings became overwhelmed with smoke. Not a bad plan, actually.
 
I love the Life Expectancy Watch. I like the idea that someone might be smugly checking it to admire their remaining 50 years while not noticing the grand piano improbably falling from a high window... :D
 
Invention: Human cannonballs

* 17:37 15 May 2006
* NewScientist.com news service
* Barry Fox


For over 30 years, Barry Fox has trawled through the world's weird and wonderful patent applications, uncovering the most exciting, bizarre or even terrifying new ideas. His column, Invention, is exclusively online. Scroll down for a roundup of previous Invention articles.

---------
Human cannonballs

The old circus trick of firing a person from a cannon is being considered by the US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) as a way to get special forces, police officers and fire fighters onto the roofs of tall buildings in a hurry.

A ramp with side rails would be placed on the ground near the target building at an angle of about 80°. A (very brave) person would then sit in a chair, like a pilot’s ejection seat, attached to the ramp.

Compressed air from a cylinder underneath would be rapidly released to shoot the chair up the ramp's guide rails. At the top the chair would come to an instant halt, leaving the person to fly up and over the edge of the roof, to hopefully land safely on top of the building.

Of course, the trick is to get the trajectory just right. But the DARPA patent suggests a computer could automatically devise the correct angle and speed of ascent. It also claims that a 4-metre-tall launcher could put a man on the top of a 5 storey building in less than 2 seconds. I think I'll take the stairs.

Read the full patent here.

-------
Stress-sensing cables

Anyone who has rigged up a satellite antenna will know that the slightest kink in a coaxial cable can kill the connection. This is because the signal will bounce off the kink and corrupt the link.

But this effect could soon provide structural engineers with an ingenious new way to spot faults buried deep inside buildings and bridges. The University of Missouri, US, is patenting a way to embed weakened cables inside concrete and use signal disruption to pinpoint structural weaknesses.

The cable would be clad in a thin layer of spun copper. Any untoward stress or strain should easily crack the cover open to expose the cable inside.

A timing signal would be continually fed into each cable and checked for reflections caused by cracks. The strength of any reflection and the time it takes to arrive back should give engineers an accurate fix on the position and extent of any damage deep inside a structure.

Read the full patent here.

---------
Musical receipts

Say goodbye to the jukebox in the corner of your local bar or cafe. It could soon be replaced by a kiosk that squirts music directly into your MP3 player.

Before their promotional pact fell apart Disney and McDonalds were cooking up plans for a Wi-Fi system that would drip-feed Disney cartoons to dedicated video players, as a treat to go with purchases. Inventor Dean Christal from Santa Barbara in California, US, is now patenting an idea that could have even wider appeal.

The plan is for cash registers to print off a receipt carrying a bar code that entitles a customer to one free music download. A kiosk in the corner of the restaurant or bar would have a docking connector for MP3 players and a bar code reader to check each receipt. The kiosk could have its own store of music or retrieve songs from central server.

Digital Rights Management could also limit the number of times a song could be played, and prevent copying, the patent says. It goes on to suggest that the number of tracks available and the number of plays allowed might depend on the value of the meal bought. The same system could be used to download electronic books, it adds.

Read the full patent here.

Read previous invention columns, including:

The riot slimer, the bomb jammer, Apple's all-seeing screen, the TV-advert enforcer, the wing-sprouting drone, the drink-driver arm scanner, laser spark plugs, remote-controlled implants,the "I've been shot" gun, the snore zapper, the guitar phone, explosive-eating fungus, viper vision, exploding ink, the moody media player, the spy-diver killer, preventing in-flight interference, the inkjet-printer pen, sonic watermarks, the McDownload, hot-air plane, landmine arrows, soldiers obeying odours, coffee beer, wall-beating bugging, eyeball electronics, phone jolts, personal crash alarm, talking tooth, shark shocker, midnight call-foiler, burning bullets, a music lover's dream, magic wand for gamers, the phantom car, phone-bomb hijacking, shocking airport scans, old tyres to printer ink and eye-tracking displays.
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www.newscientisttech.com/article/dn9170 ... balls.html
 
Having only just seen this topic I now feel the need to revert it, if briefly, to buses...

In Milwaukee most of the buses (at least in my area) have little TVs in them, I think something like 4 per bus. Now, at the same time as selling a little ad space (trying to keep fares low), and apart from displaying nice trivia games which do help to pass the time, in the far left a column displays a list of stops and they get highlighted when the bus gets close. I always thought (after moving to MADison where the weather greatly varies the bus schedule) that it would be nice to have a little multi-colored light displaying the following....

-off, if it'll be more than 5 minutes before the bus gets there.
-green, less than 5 minutes.
-red, buses not running (blizzard).
-blue, bus is running late.

Simple, and if placed at a top corner, visible to people approaching the stop wondering if they just missed their bus.
 
MercuryCrest said:
Having only just seen this topic I now feel the need to revert it, if briefly, to buses...

In Milwaukee most of the buses (at least in my area) have little TVs in them, I think something like 4 per bus. Now, at the same time as selling a little ad space (trying to keep fares low), and apart from displaying nice trivia games which do help to pass the time, in the far left a column displays a list of stops and they get highlighted when the bus gets close. I always thought (after moving to MADison where the weather greatly varies the bus schedule) that it would be nice to have a little multi-colored light displaying the following....

-off, if it'll be more than 5 minutes before the bus gets there.
-green, less than 5 minutes.
-red, buses not running (blizzard).
-blue, bus is running late.

Simple, and if placed at a top corner, visible to people approaching the stop wondering if they just missed their bus.
Click to expand...

Something similar to that is being introduced here. Some bus shelters have LED displays in them saying how long it is until the next bus. Some of the buses have TVs on them too, but they don't tell you what the next stop is. I've only been living where I live for a few years and, coming from a small-ish town, find the bus system here very confusing, so it would be useful if the TVs on the buses told you where you were, because I'm forever getting lost from getting off at the wrong stop.
 
Issue 14.06 - June 2006

Prepare for Liftoff


There is no subtle way to say this: Brian Walker plans to shoot himself nearly 20 miles into the air aboard a homemade rocket launched from what could be the world’s largest crossbow. (Seriously.)

This isn’t Walker’s first outlandish invention. He’s responsible for the “light chaser” whirly toy, a 300-gallon water-balloon launcher (for putting out forest fires – still in prototype), and Taser gloves (featured in “Garage Geniuses Go Prime Time,” issue 14.03). But Project RUSH – for “rapid up superhigh” – is hands down his most preposterously dangerous effort. “I missed out on the opportunity to be the first private citizen to fly to the edge of space in a private rocket, so I decided to do something even more fun,” Walker says.

Walker’s idea of fun? Stretch a carbon-fiber bowstring 24 feet along a rail, fire up a jet turbine with 1,350 pounds of thrust, hit a trigger, and pull 10 gs as his craft, modeled on spaceships from Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, shoots to the stratosphere. He’ll plummet back to Earth using hydrogen peroxide rockets (the propulsion system used in 1950s jet packs) to slow his descent. Don’t worry about Walker – he’ll be wearing a $15,000 surplus Russian space suit for protection. “I can see a scenario where giant crossbows would accelerate skydivers upward,” he says, “creating a new kind of skydiving.”

Walker hopes to launch this fall, unless the FAA says no. But first he’ll test the rig with a giant fiberglass arrow, just to, you know, make sure it’s safe.
Click to expand...

www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.06/start.html?pg=11
 
This man is a legend.

He should be forced to breed so we don't lose his admirable sense of adventure and scorn of fear when he goes splatty-splat.
 
I must say, it doesn't look very safe. Never mind swallowing flies, he might swallow a bird.
 
This may not be so wacky, but it certainly sounds far fetched...

Origami gadgets

The boffins at Sony’s Tokyo labs are working on a clever way to get bulky electronic devices into small pockets. Their plan is to create handheld computers, phones and portable games consoles that fold up for carrying and then become rigid for use.

The body and screen of folding gadgets would be made from a flexible polymer containing conductive rubber bracing struts filled with a gel of aluminosilicate particles suspended in silicone oil.

When a current is passed through the struts, the particles clump together and harden the gel, making the gadget solid enough to use. Sony has found that it would take very little power to make such a folding device harden, so the drain on its battery should be low.

The company's patent adds that the transition from soft to hard takes just milliseconds. It suggests that the same technique could even be used in a video game controller to make it jolt or change shape in response to on-screen action.
Click to expand...


New Scientist article here
 
Oh shit, why didn't I think of this?

Cornish entrepreneur's award for "dog mess" innovation

A entrepreneur from north Cornwall has won a national award for creating a product to aid dog walkers.
Mandy Davies, 34, from Newquay, picked up silver at the annual "Mumpreneur" awards for designing the "Dicky Bag", an airtight neoprene bag for dog mess.

The idea originated after a walk with her children and dog was spoilt by carrying faeces in a plastic bag.
Mrs Davies decided to use neoprene after seeing its uses in the wetsuit shops in Newquay.
She wanted a lightweight, soft but fairly rigid receptacle that would mean she could "could carry the poo I had so conscientiously picked up and be able to continue my walk with both hands free".

"Living in Newquay, the surf capital, and being surrounded by wetsuit shops my first thought was to use neoprene.
"It's light, semi-rigid and the rubber can form an airtight seal," she added.
Her Dicky Bag has been granted patents in the UK and US.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-15184898
 
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