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Depression

On the topic of reading, I read a lot of horror fiction as well as watch horror movies. I've been asked how I can do this because (to the other person) it is scary or horrific.

My answer is that I enjoy horror because it is not real and I like to see how the protagonist comes through and how they handle the situation. I like to believe that if something like that ever happened, that I would have strength to act and not run away.

I rarely read non-fiction and am not really interested in true crime or whatever other atrocities happen in the world because I am quite aware of what humans are really like. I think I have already expressed this somewhere here before.

I do think that people who experience depression are more empathetic. Whether the experience of depression brings about empathy, or being more empathetic brings some depression, I don't know.

Though, when someone is depressed, they cannot be empathetic. It takes too much energy.
 
brownmane said:
On the topic of reading, I read a lot of horror fiction as well as watch horror movies. I've been asked how I can do this because (to the other person) it is scary or horrific.

My answer is that I enjoy horror because it is not real and I like to see how the protagonist comes through and how they handle the situation. I like to believe that if something like that ever happened, that I would have strength to act and not run away.

I rarely read non-fiction and am not really interested in true crime or whatever other atrocities happen in the world because I am quite aware of what humans are really like. I think I have already expressed this somewhere here before.

I do think that people who experience depression are more empathetic. Whether the experience of depression brings about empathy, or being more empathetic brings some depression, I don't know.

Though, when someone is depressed, they cannot be empathetic. It takes too much energy.
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Interesting point about the link between empathy and depression. I guess you have to have perception to have empathy and I generally find that people who have no perception never seem to get depressed.
 
charliebrown said:
My wife and I try not to watch sad movies and sometimes news programs particularly in the evening.

We find that this cuts down on our depression.
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I watch very few movies that are "sad" (most are only sentimental dross), but if I think that a movie is more one from which I can learn (usually about people), then I will watch, but I prepare myself mentally before watching.
 
DrPaulLee said:
The absolute worst time is when I wake up early in the morning. It takes hours to get back to sleep and during that whole time there are these thoughts preying on my mind.
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I think if you got some more sleep, you might begin to feel less depressed. Set aside a bit of time for meditation and sleep.
I do a bit of deep breathing/hyperventilation before I go to bed, and I make sure I don't have anything with caffeine in it for about 2 hours before bedtime. Even so, I still wake up during the night, but that's not down to thoughts buzzing about in my head.
 
I have the same problem with the black dog/blind space chicken. I would say the problem at night is the lack of sensory input. I have taken to keeping the light on in the next room, so I don't wake to complete darkness. Listening to a podcast might also help.
 
DrPaulLee said:
The absolute worst time is when I wake up early in the morning. It takes hours to get back to sleep and during that whole time there are these thoughts preying on my mind.
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I don't sleep well. Never have. All I need is one random thought about what I have to do that day, or what happened the evening before (if I was affected negatively) and that's it. No depression to do that to me.

One question, do you have any low level pain?

I have learned that I sometimes have sore muscles somewhere that I don't realize are bothering me. I have very subtle achiness in my hips, shoulders and back at different times. I won't realize that I have been tossing and turning because I just can't get comfortable.

Once I take a pain pill, it just takes the pain away and I can then relax enough to get back to sleep.

Pain is not the only thing that keeps me awake or wakens me early, but it is one thing.

Chronic pain is more difficult to deal with when you are depressed. And then no sleep...It's a difficult circle.
 
No, no lower level pain. The only pain I feel is in my head. During the day I have enough distractions to numb the thoughts.
 
DrPaulLee said:
No, no lower level pain. The only pain I feel is in my head. During the day I have enough distractions to numb the thoughts.
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I was once given the 'handy tip' to deal with insomnia ... get up and do the ironing. If like me you don't do it anyway that's going to be as much help to you as it was to me!

All the problems in the world are waiting to assault in the middle of the night. That overwhelming combination of the personal and global is hideous isn't it? The only comfort, if you can call it that, is knowning that you aren't the only one. Perhaps you could try imagining which of your fellow forteans are in the same boat at that particular time and then share whatever is particularly getting to you in a Mickey Mouse voice.

That's probably not much help either, sorry, but know that you are not alone and have my empathy.
 
Eight days to my anticipated operation date. At least... very late on Friday I had a phone message from the hospital to tell me they want to discuss the date. (We'd had a rare trip out, so of course we missed the call) And of course, nobody's going to be available till Monday to explain exactly what it's about. Worst case scenario - they're cancelling and rescheduling again. I hope not - there's nothing so depressing as having a life-altering condition and getting knocked back on an operation date. (well - nothing more depressing for me, that is). It's like living in perpetual twilight.
 
AgProv said:
Eight days to my anticipated operation date. At least... very late on Friday I had a phone message from the hospital to tell me they want to discuss the date. (We'd had a rare trip out, so of course we missed the call) And of course, nobody's going to be available till Monday to explain exactly what it's about. Worst case scenario - they're cancelling and rescheduling again. I hope not - there's nothing so depressing as having a life-altering condition and getting knocked back on an operation date. (well - nothing more depressing for me, that is). It's like living in perpetual twilight.
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Hope it goes well for you AP. Fingers etc crossed.
 
Rescheduled. Again. Only by ten days but still disheartening. After a year of gradual decline I really do want this to be over and done with. Thanks to all for sympathy and support! This half-life is irritating and depressing.
 
AgProv said:
Rescheduled. Again. Only by ten days but still disheartening. After a year of gradual decline I really do want this to be over and done with. Thanks to all for sympathy and support! This half-life is irritating and depressing.
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My sympathy AP. Stressful enough with this hanging over you without it being prolonged by rescheduling. Our local NHS hospital has been bunging people into the private hospital to get patients seen to more quickly. Much more comfortable place.
 
AgProv said:
Eight days to my anticipated operation date. At least... very late on Friday I had a phone message from the hospital to tell me they want to discuss the date. (We'd had a rare trip out, so of course we missed the call) And of course, nobody's going to be available till Monday to explain exactly what it's about. Worst case scenario - they're cancelling and rescheduling again. I hope not - there's nothing so depressing as having a life-altering condition and getting knocked back on an operation date. (well - nothing more depressing for me, that is). It's like living in perpetual twilight.
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While you're in there, ask for a set of those free NHS headphones that ward patients get. I was only in recently to get my kidney stones blasted but I asked the nurse using the excuse that I needed the headphones to listen to work and health related things. She was totally cool with that .. plus you'll be wearing a wristband so you'll be, in fact, an inpatient. Plus it'll slightly take your mind off things on the day to do something naughty with the reward of a free set of headphones. Plus, your wristband usually gets you money off food and drink at the hospital café. I'm tasking you a mission :salute:.
 
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Thank you for all kind replies! Just had a three in the morning sandwich (chicken roll and pickle on baguette, since you ask) and a gloomy realisation I'm probably eating too much. Soon be back in bed to follow the cycle of six hours up, four hours asleep, rinse and repeat....
 
AgProv said:
Thank you for all kind replies! Just had a three in the morning sandwich (chicken roll and pickle on baguette, since you ask) and a gloomy realisation I'm probably eating too much. Soon be back in bed to follow the cycle of six hours up, four hours asleep, rinse and repeat....
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I got up in the early morning the other day and made myself a pb and j sandwich. I can't get to sleep if I'm hungry and sometimes wake shortly after falling asleep because I'm hungry.

Now you may have to watch what you are eating, but it has been shown that people with a little excess weight fair better health wise than those on the slender end. Especially when recovering from illness or injury. It's because your body has more energy in reserve to draw on for recovery.
 
DrPaulLee said:
The absolute worst time is when I wake up early in the morning. It takes hours to get back to sleep and during that whole time there are these thoughts preying on my mind.
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Historically I have never slept. As a kid I used to lay awake as far back as I can remember. Even now I normally get a couple of hours then wake for an hour, sleep for a couple and wake some more. It is dreadful! Unfortunately it is me and my make up. Doesn’t matter if i’ve been on or off the booze, it’s the same. And you don’t need me to tell you the bottom of a bottle is not the answer.
In recent years I have been treated with some seriously toxic drugs to treat my IBD and they have had a real adverse effect on my mental health, a known response. When they then prescribed a heavy dose of prednisolone on top, I ended up with “pred-head” and started to plan my flight to Switzerland to be euthanised at Dignitas.
As a mental health first aider I knew this wasn’t me and got over the need to be “put down”. I discussed it with my specialist Gastro nurse who noted in my records that I shouldn’t be given prednisolone when on other drugs that fuck up your head. She also offered me group help which suits some people, but doesn’t float my boat.

Some People can reason with themselves some cannot, if you feel so far down that you cannot see an end to it phone Samaritans or any of the other groups out there who exist to help people in crisis. Always great in the early hours of the morning with nobody else to chat with.

There will always be someone to help out, to talk to, to see and guide you through. DON’T bottle it up and go alone when there is no need, the old cliche a problem shared is a problem halved is true.

Take care, look after yourself and never forget help is but a call, a chat away.
 
I don't know if this will be of any help to @DrPaulLee or any other forumists with similar feelings, but I was by far at my lowest ebb with anxiety, depression and shocking insomnia some 30 years ago. At the time, I had a fairly high pressure position with a financial company, coupled with a long and absolutely exhausting daily commute into London.
I stuck it out for 3½ years, but knew it was having a very bad effect on my health and relationships and I finally took the decision to take a significant cut in salary for a far less stressful IT position within cycling distance of home.
After that, my outlook and life in general improved enormously and I quite simply started feeling like me again.
Now that I'm within a couple of years of retiring, I've long since shed any ambition to seek any further progress up the corporate ladder and am more than happy to be considered something of an expert in my field but without having the stress of project/team management.
Never underestimate the effect that your 9 to 5 grind has on your wellbeing, either positive or negative. If you're doing a job that you hate, then change it before your health suffers.
 
blessmycottonsocks said:
At the time, I had a fairly high pressure position with a financial company, coupled with a long and absolutely exhausting daily commute into London.
I stuck it out for 3½ years, but knew it was having a very bad effect on my health
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My wife similarly had a position with JLT in the City. I saw the effect the stress was having on her after a good and happy career of some 40 years and after having a brush with cancer I told her enough was enough and got her to retire. Two incomes was great as was the holidays and everything that went with it, but I like my wives alive and though we don’t have the financial stability we had then, we have a retired wife, 4 dogs and a houseful of love.
 
Diet may have some effect - I'm currently reading a recent book called Change your diet, change your mind that is basically saying try paleo for 6 weeks or more extreme diets if that doesn't work. I'm going to try gradually transitioning to paleo to see if it improves anything but it's a big ask as it means cutting out seeds (grains, beans, nuts etc.), nightshades, dairy, vegetable oil, raw cruciferous and keeping carbs lowish.

Edit to add: Although the book calls it paleo, it's not trying to match what our ancestors ate but to avoid foods that can damage your brain e.g. plants that put up defences because they don't want to be eaten.
 
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flannel said:
Diet may have some effect - I'm currently reading a recent book called Change your diet, change your mind that is basically saying try paleo for 6 weeks or more extreme diets if that doesn't work. I'm going to try gradually transitioning to paleo to see if it improves anything but it's a big ask as it means cutting out seeds (grains, beans, nuts etc.), nightshades, dairy, vegetable oil, raw cruciferous and keeping carbs lowish.
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The good thing with that type of paleo diet is it is an exclusion diet to the point where you become stable then start to gradually reintroduce foods to determine what does and doesn’t have an adverse impact on your condition.
I know I am much healthier on the old Hay diet, I also know that eating protein and vegetables without the carbs makes me feel better. I slipped back into spuds, rice, pasta etc a few years back and have struggled to break free from them.
I have a week off in May and am going to try and recondition to a carb meal at breakfast, neutral lunch and protein dinner.

I have become quite interested in the food plans laid out in the Auto Immune Paleo Protocol diet at https://www.paleo-britain.co.uk/autoimmune-protocol-aip/
 
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