I had a couple of odd experiences when my boyfriend died in October 1998, a week or so before my birthday.
After the initial 3 days of weeping and bashing my head on the floor in grief, I figured it was time to try and come to terms with his departure.
I asked a friend if there was anything I could do to ease my mind and assure me that he was okay.
He suggested visualising myself talking to him in a place personal to both of us. I wasnt able to concentrate enough and soon fell asleep.
That night I dreamed that we were in the bath together and he was washing my hair saying "im fine kiddo"
It did the trick, I felt alot more peaceful and together the next day.
The evening after his cremation I had another dream.
In this very vivid dream, I was at his parents house and we were sorting through his stuff.
The phone was ringing and neither his mum or dad seemed to be taking any notice of it.
So I figured the call was for me.
When i answered the voice said "hello kiddo"
It sounded like my boyfriend but I told myself that was impossible, so I asked the caller a few questions to try and unearth his Identity.
meQ "Where are you"
R " China"
meQ " What are you doing there, its the other side of the world"
R " ive joined a girl band, Im the lead singer"
At that point I seem to remember calling him a few names and telling him(with raised tones) how much he was missed.
Then I asked if He could come and see me.
He said that I knew he couldnt do that.
I asked if I could come and see him.
He said,
"No baby, its not your time, but I'll wait for you and any time you need me just call me."
:?
A year later his mum called me.
We hadnt been able to have a conversation up until this point as we always made each other weepy.
She asked if it was okay to come along to one of our moots and asked what I had been up to.
It had been my birthday a few days before which I then told her.
She said....now that makes sense, and that explained the message.
She had been to see a medium a few days before and the messages from her son was "tell the silly ol bugger happy birthday." (Other than kiddo that was one of his pet terms for me"
She hadnt made sense of the message before as she could not recall any birthdays amongst her friends and family during October.
Thats one hell of a boyfriend that remembers your birthday even after his death....