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Fortean Headlines

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Anonymous

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In the last week, there have been two great headlines in my local papers The South Wales Echo and Western Mail:

HUNT FOR CURRY-EATING PARROT

and

BRIDEGROOM ARRESTED OVER "VOODOO" BLAZE

The first story is simply about a missing pet parrot with a penchant for kebabs and take-aways but the second story is quite Fortean - apparently, the night after his wedding, a man set fire to his house believeing it to be "cursed".
 
headlines "are cool"

It might be fun to take current Headlines, and everyone . "write their own" headline to said article. I bet alot would be very good indeed! (especially with the wit on this MB.:cool:
 
Great headline!!

Huge fake owl defends world's longest tie from seagulls

Organisers of a special exhibition of the world's longest tie have been forced to put up a huge fake owl to stop pigeons using it as a toilet.

The 2,300 feet long, 82 feet wide tie is being wrapped around a Roman arena in Pula on the western Croatian peninsula of Istria where it was made.

Organisers brought in a seven foot model of an owl after local seagulls started leaving their droppings on the red material used in the tie.

One worker, who was installing the owl at the arena, said: "We don't know why but seagulls seem to use red textile like a toilet."

Local radio station Radio Pula said the seagulls had stayed away from the arena since the owl had been erected.


Story filed: 11:49 Thursday 16th October 2003
Click to expand...

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_829335.html?menu=news.quirkies
 
Strange Headlines

These crop up almost daily, and are usually good for a chuckle.

But I for one am relieved to hear that
Ministers lose sex offender power
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4614662.stm

I don't want any ministers round here exercising their power as sex offenders! :shock:

And I'm not sure what to make of this:
Police force is top gay employer
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0, ... 53,00.html

or this:
Dormouse picked for vital role
WMN

Plucking hell
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/woman/st ... 90,00.html

It's over to you!
 
I don't have a link as it appeared in the Oxford Mail several years ago but has stuck in my mind...

Tigger Killed By Travelling Bandage

In case you're wondering, Tigger was a highly-strung horse who apparently died of fright when a box containing spare leg bandages fell over as he was being taken to the racecourse.

The same newspaper is also prone to the "Man Attacked By Church" (naughty church!) and "Woman Molested By River" (evil river!) type headlines :D

Jane.
 
I also don't have a quote as this was in the local Ellesmere Port paper in the late eighties. A family of Vietnamese "Boat People" had come to live in the town, and when they'd been there a few months, the paper ran a story on how they were getting on.

The headline read "Boat People Settle In Well"
 
From the Racing Post, via Private Eye:

8-13 Campbell hardens after Hughes admits gay tendencies
 
stuneville said:
From the Racing Post, via Private Eye:

8-13 Campbell hardens after Hughes admits gay tendencies
Click to expand...
Now I'm not a racing man, but I think I understand the first half of this quote - it's the second half that has me baffled!
 
rynner said:
stuneville said:
From the Racing Post, via Private Eye:

8-13 Campbell hardens after Hughes admits gay tendencies
Click to expand...
Now I'm not a racing man, but I think I understand the first half of this quote - it's the second half that has me baffled!
Click to expand...
Menzies (Ming) Campbell has just been named as Lib Dem leader - Simon Hughes hasn't. Don't think there's much horse-racing involved!
 
Funeral directors hold open day

link

edited by TheQuixote: created hyperlink to stop pagebreak
 
i saw a dream headline on yesterday's oxford mail:
GAY VICAR: I'M OFF TO BRIGHTON
 
Can't remember where I saw it, but I bet it was the Sun, and it was some years ago following the Hampstead sleaze scandal:

HEATH USED FOR SEX BY MPs
 
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