FT198

[Anonymous]

AARGH! This is the email that I received...

Please be advised that the July issue of Fortean Times, issue 198, is not due to be delivered until tomorrow (2nd June 2005), although some subscribers may received theirs slightly earlier than this. Because of this, I kindly ask you to allow until tomorrow for delivery of the issue. If it still doesn't arrive, please do not hesitate to contact us again. I apologise for any inconvenience caused.

If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind regards
Ian
Customer Services

I usually get my copy early - I've never had a problem before, but I do want to receive my magazine in good time, what's the point of subscribing otherwise?

 

[owenwhiteoak]

what's the point of subscribing otherwise?

Erm... it's cheaper (cheaper still by DD), you don't have to go to the shop to look for it and you shouldn't miss issues because they're sold out...

I think Customer Services must be allowing for postal delays in using the on sale date as the "expected" date for subscribers.

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Mummy: I'm afraid subscription (as Owen says) is about price and convenience and not necessarily speed of delivery

If people have concerns about their subscriptions or issues not turning up then we have athrea specifically for this so the actual threads discussing the relevant issues don't get bogged down:

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14087

cant wait for next months tho :spinning

I'm afraid you're going to have to.

Ah go on now - surely the budget strecthes to some kind of time machine?: Think Ernie the Fat Milkman in the West meets Back to the Future

----------------
I also notice a letter in this issue asking if FT is delivered by their milkman but with no reply - seemed a bit odd as a yes or no would have been enough. Is it a suprise? I know we have speculated on it here before and we never got an official answer - is it a huge scary elf? I am leaning towards some kind of experimental teleportation device that you aren't yet prepared to explain. It'd explain the fact that the targetting seems a bit off (although you seem to be able to get within about 6 foot of my frnt door). It may even explain the missing issues - being off on the z axis would leave the issues buried under the path or on the roof. Perhaps a flight leaving from the John Lennon airport suddenly got a complimentary issue of FT?

 

[owenwhiteoak]

cant wait for next months tho

I'm afraid you're going to have to.

Ah go on now - surely the budget strecthes to some kind of time machine?: Think Ernie the Fat Milkman in the West meets Back to the Future

----------------
I also notice a letter in this issue asking if FT is delivered by their milkman but with no reply - seemed a bit odd as a yes or no would have been enough. Is it a suprise? I know we have speculated on it here before and we never got an official answer - is it a huge scary elf? I am leaning towards some kind of experimental teleportation device that you aren't yet prepared to explain. It'd explain the fact that the targetting seems a bit off (although you seem to be able to get within about 6 foot of my front door). It may even explain the missing issues - being off on the z axis would leave the issues buried under the path or on the roof. Perhaps a flight leaving from the John Lennon airport suddenly got a complimentary issue of FT?

I fear it's that darn time machine... A slight miscalibration in the z-prime and the alpha-wave axes and the chronic confibulatory bivalves mean that everyone's missing issues from the last two and a half years are all going to land on Melf's doorstep next week (along with next issue, fortunately).

 

[Anome]

I fear it's that darn time machine... A slight miscalibration in the z-prime and the alpha-wave axes and the chronic confibulatory bivalves mean that everyone's missing issues from the last two and a half years are all going to land on Melf's doorstep next week (along with next issue, fortunately).

There's your problem, mate. You're using oysters in the temporal feedback stabilisers.

Replace 'em with a couple of squid, preferably at least one with a PhD in Relativity Physics, and you'll be in business.

And while you're at it, can you check down the back of the cosmic sofa where my copy of 197 seems to have slipped?

I know, I know, report it to the Subscriptions page...I'll get around to it at some point.

 

[Min Bannister]

If people have concerns about their subscriptions or issues not turning up then we have athrea specifically for this so the actual threads discussing the relevant issues don't get bogged down:

Better still why not two threads for each issue? One for people who actually want to discuss the mag and one for people who only seem to want to post that they have/haven't got theirs; have got it but haven't read it yet etc etc. Doesn't float my boat, though the seemingly endless rain here might...

 

[Mama_Kitty]

I don't have a milkman (or woman) but my FT turns up at a different time to the rest of my post and has a sticker on it saying 'Express' in a blue font which reminds me of some milk-delivery company-type thing, if that makes any sense.

 

[SoundDust]

looks a good issue from what I've briefly flicked through before dinner, and the next one does, even if the accusation of cashing in on Spiebergs movie can be made quite freely

 

[Melf]

cant wait for next months tho

I'm afraid you're going to have to.

Ah go on now - surely the budget strecthes to some kind of time machine?: Think Ernie the Fat Milkman in the West meets Back to the Future

----------------
I also notice a letter in this issue asking if FT is delivered by their milkman but with no reply - seemed a bit odd as a yes or no would have been enough. Is it a suprise? I know we have speculated on it here before and we never got an official answer - is it a huge scary elf? I am leaning towards some kind of experimental teleportation device that you aren't yet prepared to explain. It'd explain the fact that the targetting seems a bit off (although you seem to be able to get within about 6 foot of my front door). It may even explain the missing issues - being off on the z axis would leave the issues buried under the path or on the roof. Perhaps a flight leaving from the John Lennon airport suddenly got a complimentary issue of FT?

I fear it's that darn time machine... A slight miscalibration in the z-prime and the alpha-wave axes and the chronic confibulatory bivalves mean that everyone's missing issues from the last two and a half years are all going to land on Melf's doorstep next week (along with next issue, fortunately).

for sale:- all future copys of ft, only 2£ each+p&p

 

[oll_lewis]

I fear it's that darn time machine... A slight miscalibration in the z-prime and the alpha-wave axes and the chronic confibulatory bivalves mean that everyone's missing issues from the last two and a half years are all going to land on Melf's doorstep next week (along with next issue, fortunately).

There's your problem, mate. You're using oysters in the temporal feedback stabilisers.

Replace 'em with a couple of squid, preferably at least one with a PhD in Relativity Physics, and you'll be in business.

I also notice that the ft subs dept hasn't reversed the polarity of the nutron flow, this may explaine some of the late or missing sub issues.

I have mine on order from my local news agents as i used to subscribe a few years back but found this system just as reliable but resolved to resubscribe if a tempting gift ever came along, sadly nothing tempting has come along yet.

 

[Red__Dalek]

Re: C'est la guerre catoon in FT 198

With alledged psychic medium Derek Acorah's use of acronyms in Most Haunted (Kreed Kafer, Rik Eedles), its strange that the medium in this cartoon is called "Nathaniel Ochre" - an anagram of "something" Acorah. What I want to know is: Whats the "something"?

I couldn't find one.

I did get an amusing result when I used the thesaurus in Microsoft Works Word Processor on the name.
There were 3 pages of options, but on the second page "nasty piece of work" stood out like a beacon in the dark!!! To get this I had to highlight both words in the name, or just Nathaniel, if this was intentional it was very clever.

 

[Anome]

Well, Acorah drops out fairly easily, but you're then left with NTHNIELE or EEHILNNT.

Thin Neel?

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Re: C'est la guerre catoon in FT 198

With alledged psychic medium Derek Acorah's use of acronyms in Most Haunted (Kreed Kafer, Rik Eedles), its strange that the medium in this cartoon is called "Nathaniel Ochre" - an anagram of "something" Acorah. What I want to know is: Whats the "something"?

Best I could manage was:

Acorah the Lenin - some link to the Soviet supremo?

or:

Acorah the Linen - pos. a subliminal instruction for him to air his dirty laundry and come clean?

Acorah Hen Intel - perhaps it is the spirits of dead chickens feeding him the info - poultrygeist?

Acorah Hen Inlet - perhaps he is a chicken plucker?

www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?a ... ude=acorah

 

[WhistlingJack]

Re: C'est la guerre catoon in FT 198

Acorah Hen Inlet - perhaps he is a chicken plucker?

I suppose some wouldn't consider Acorah to be a pheasant plucker...

 

[Yithian]

I don't think it was meant to be an anagram. with the similarity between 'Ochre' and 'Acorah' and the fact that people have made the connection shows that the cartoon did its job without hammering the point home with any need for an anagram.

 

[Rrose_Selavy]

Acorah the Lie nn
--

 

[owenwhiteoak]

Guerre cartoon

Can't speak for Martin's intentions, but I assumed it was a MEDIum named OCHRE...