• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Oops! The Silly Mistakes Thread

Evan O'Connell‏Verified account@evanoconnell

DUP MEP @DianeDoddsMEP accidentally sends travel request to entire European Parliament - Labour MEP @PaulBrannenNE responds.

DEYYSXkXoAEA4B5.jpg
 
Swifty said:
"There's no signs up saying 'No f*****g on the tables' either but we like to treat our customers as if they have common sense" ..
Click to expand...

A pharmacy in my home town used to sell cigarettes back in the '50s. A customer bought some and lit one up on the spot, and the pharmacist told him off.
The customer said 'You sold them to me!'
To which the pharmacist replied 'I also sell laxatives but nobody shits in the shop!'
 
Last edited:
Andrea Leadsom: 'Jane Austen among greatest living authors'
20 July 2017

'For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them on Twitter?' novelist Jane Austen (almost) wrote in Pride and Prejudice.

Andrea Leadsom's accidental reference to Austen as "one of our greatest living authors" has sparked a barrage of social media merriment.
The Conservative MP was speaking in parliament to welcome a new plastic £10 note featuring Austen's portrait, days after the bicentenary of the author's 1817 death.

As always, the internet reaction has been as merciless as it has been swift. Ms Leadsom's name has been mentioned in more than 17,000 tweets, and has featured among the top UK trends ever since her slip of the tongue.

"We are currently moving all our Jane Austen stock from Classics into Greatest Living Authors," japed booksellers Waterstones in a tweet shared thousands of times.
"Thanks Andrea Leadsom for the heads up," they added. :D

etc...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40677044
 
She gave away the secret! There are immortals among us! :D
 
Watch spectacular videos of water shooting into air after digger breaks through water mains in Truro
By HannahCL | Posted: July 27, 2017
Video: 23 s.

A plume of high pressured water shot into the air yesterday when a digger struck a water main while digging in a busy road in Truro city centre.

Videos were filmed by a number of shocked passers-by as they spotted the dramatic scenes, including the one above which was taken by Rhys Jones.

In another video below, taken by Sarah Ellicock, gallons of water can be seen flooding out of the hole and down the road, gathering by the public toilets at the bottom of Lemon Street.

The digger was still in place, and a cordon was already around the area while works were conducted.

The video below shows the extent of how much water was pouring out of the water mains and on to the roads last night.

etc...

http://www.cornwalllive.com/watch-s...ins-in-truro/story-30458688-detail/story.html

This happened outside the Plaza cinema in Lemon Street.
 
Plane nearly ran out of fuel after pilots forgot to bring up landing gear
Hugh Morris
28 July 2017 • 12:31pm

Two pilots have been suspended from duty after their aircraft, carrying 99 passengers, nearly ran out of fuel because they forgot to retract the landing gear after take-off.

Air India Flight AI676 was en route to Mumbai from Kolkata on July 22 but was forced to divert to Nagpur when the crew became alarmed by the speed at which the aircraft was losing fuel thanks to the additional drag created by the extended wheels.

An unidentified source told the Times of India that the “brand new Airbus A320”, one of the most fuel efficient aircraft in existence, had struggled to climb after take-off, prompting the pilots to settle on an altitude of 24,000 feet as opposed to a usual cruising height of 35,000 feet. The source, who made a point of saying that both pilots were women, said it flew like this at 230 knots - as opposed to around 500 knots - for about an hour-and-a-half, while the extended landing gear dragged heavily on the aircraft.

At this point, 90 minutes into a two-and-a-half-hour flight, the crew requested permission to divert to Nagpur as their fuel would have run out before reaching Mumbai.
“When preparing to land, they decided to lower the landing gear. At this point they realised that the wheels had been out all the while from Kolkata,” said the source.

etc...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/air-india-forgotten-landing-gear-low-fuel/

A silly mistake verging on criminal stupidity, methinks...
 
It is the opposite of the case a few days ago when a Saudi airliner circled around Manchester for hours, dumping fuel when the flaps got stuck. In the end, it landed safely.

I would hate to be on a flight like that! :frust:
 
Coal said:
I'm kind of surprised there isn't a very loud noise to remind pilots to do that.
Click to expand...

No, it's not a surprise. There are proactive audio alarms for the condition in which landing configuration is in effect and the landing gear is not both down and locked. That level of alerting is not applicable when the A320 is in flight configuration and the landing gear are down and locked. The reason is that there are flight conditions under which the gear are appropriately down and locked (e.g., when having to do a 'go round' for another landing attempt; when doing a touch and go).

If everything was functioning correctly, these pilots had 3 sources of persistent cueing on landing gear status visible to both pilots. Two of these (landing gear control lever position; landing gear status indicator panel) are always visible in the center section of the cockpit dashboard / console between the two pilot positions. The third is a dedicated landing gear page on the multi-purpose computer display, which may not be visible if a different page has been selected or automatically presented owing to some special condition.
 
My theory comes from a MCP viewpoint: the two women were nattering and not paying attention.

This idea was triggered by a visit to the Post Office today to get some money. The woman behind the counter was nattering to her previous customer, who was standing in front of me. The customer had finished her business, but was happy to stand there chatting for what seems like ages! I'm surprised she couldn't feel my eyes burning into her back! Wimmin!!
 
rynner2 said:
My theory comes from a MCP viewpoint: the two women were nattering and not paying attention.

This idea was triggered by a visit to the Post Office today to get some money. The woman behind the counter was nattering to her previous customer, who was standing in front of me. The customer had finished her business, but was happy to stand there chatting for what seems like ages! I'm surprised she couldn't feel my eyes burning into her back! Wimmin!!
Click to expand...

I've also encountered the ones who will natter in a shop doorway, at the top or bottom of an escalator and even one on a bus with one foot on the pavement talking to her mate at the bus stop. Of course, if anyone objects, they are being rude.
 
If he ever feels like changing his 'Pebble Mill' sig. then 'I drove from Warwick to Coventry with my handbrake on once.' would be a splendid replacement.
 
my wife once drove my landrover about 5 miles with the 'handbrake' on (its actually a transmission brake) all she complained about was a funny smell - the clutch happily burning itself out from slipping it to get going, (probs the brake shoes too)... good thing old landys are tough
 
plastic wiganer said:
my wife once drove my landrover about 5 miles with the 'handbrake' on (its actually a transmission brake) all she complained about was a funny smell - the clutch happily burning itself out from slipping it to get going, (probs the brake shoes too)... good thing old landys are tough
Click to expand...

Ah yup now, I know a story about that. The playwright Alan Bleasdale, a noted hypochondriac, once drove his car home with the handbrake on. It stank, and as he'd heard that a smell of burning is associated with the onset of a TIA he went as fast as possible, arrived home, skidded onto his drive and honked the horn.

His wife came out and he shouted to her 'Ring 999! I'm having a stroke!'

To which she calmly replied, 'You've left the handbrake on and the wheels are on fire.'
 
A mistake or a prank? Can things get worse for Scaramucci?

Anthony Scaramucci erroneously listed as dead in the new Harvard Law alumni directory
By Emily Heil July 31 at 3:23 PM
Play Video 2:50

Anthony Scaramucci’s remarkably short tenure at the White House, remembered
Leaks, threats and insults. And it lasted less than two weeks. Here's a look back at the very short tenure of the White House's latest communications director, Anthony Scaramucci.(Video: Claritza Jimenez, Meg Kelly/Photo: Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)

Pity poor Anthony Scaramucci: reportedly getting divorced, sacked from his job after a mere 10 days — and now there’s an erroneous report that he’s dead.

The blink-and-you-missed-him former White House communications director is listed as deceased in the new Harvard Law School alumni directory, which arrived in alums’ mailboxes the very week that “The Mooch” became the most talked-about guy in politics. An asterisk by the 1989 graduate’s name indicates that he was reported dead since the last directory, which was published in 2011.

It’s unclear whether he was the victim of a prank — or just a typo. Harvard Law didn’t say, but the school was apparently crimson-faced over the flub. “Regrettably, there is an error in the Harvard Law School alumni directory in the listing for Anthony Scaramucci,” a spokeswoman told us in an emailed statement. “We offer our sincere apologies to Mr. Scaramucci. The error will be corrected in subsequent editions.” ...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...-law-alumni-directory/?utm_term=.70c08f948f03
 
2 AUGUST 2017
The Telegraph publishes Prince Philip obituary by mistake
“HOLD HOLD HOLD”.

Your mole invites readers to observe a minute’s silence for the poor scribbler over at The Telegraph who has suffered an embarrassing instance of premature publication.

Yes, as His Majesty the Prince of Political Incorrectness Philip retires from royal duties today, the Telegraph website has clicked publish on a holding page for the news story about his death.

Here it is:

View image on Twitter
DGNywbFWsAEyxwH.jpg:small


Ned Donovan

✔@Ned_Donovan
HOLD HOLD HOLD http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/08/02/hold-hold-hold-prince-philip-duke-edinburgh-dies-aged-xx/ …

10:47 AM - Aug 2, 2017

And you can still search for it on Google: ...

http://www.newstatesman.com/politic...raph-publishes-prince-philip-obituary-mistake

He's not dead yet and looks quite good for 96. He's merely retiring from public engagements so he'll have more time to compile his Joke Book.
 
At a family wake I was once told off by bar staff for picking up a tray of sandwiches because they were 'for the funeral group, I think that's them over there, they look miserable!'

The table she indicated were the only people NOT at the wake. We do good funerals.
 
Last edited:
Bought a bottle of Aussie Cabernet Sauvignon from the reduced shelf in Tesco. When I later poured out a glass it tasted absolutely foul. Looked at the label - reduced [0.5%] alcohol. D'oh! I don't know how anyone could find the stuff drinkable. Plain fruit juice would be more preferable.

Moral of story: always be bothered to put reading glasses on before buying anything reduced.
 
I was doing my usual procrastinating last night. I had to go to the bank and the grocery store. Around 8:30pm I decided it was time to get a move on. I took a quick shower, brushed out my hair, got dressed, put on my spectacles, grabbed my purse, my list and the keys and left.

I'm too short (my arms/hands can't reach all the buttons) to use the ATM drive through machine so, I had to park and go into the bank. Took out my money and then I couldn't find the pocket on my trousers to put my cash away. That was when I realized that I had put them on backwards. :loopy: Finished my shopping and went home.
 
There's a first time for everything, and I did something daft today that I've never managed before.

I've been wearing contact lenses for many years - no, not the same pair, thank you - and they're the sort you have to take out at night. This morning, I was giving them an extra rinse before putting them in, and I guess it upset my normal routine a bit. Anyway, I put the left one in, no problem, then fiddled about with the other one, and put that one in... my left eye. Didn't notice for a few seconds, until I looked up and thought things weren't terribly well focused. I took the lens back out, and now I had two lenses in my hand, stuck together! After much dunking and gentle pulling apart, I finally managed to get them separated, and then back into my eyes again - one in each this time.

Ever since, I've had a low-level headache, not enough to be a migraine, but enough to be off-putting, and I'm wondering if, despite my best efforts, I've managed to get my left and right lenses swapped over. Luckily, my lens prescription is a fairly low number (ie I'm not particularly short-sighted), and the two lenses, though different, only differ by 0.25 whatever it is they measure these things in (diopters?). Nonetheless, something's not right, and I feel as if my eyes are having to work harder than they ought to.

I don't have glasses, and I'm loath to chuck these lenses just yet, as they're monthly, and September is too far off!
 
The solution is to buy glasses.
 
I tried contacts years ago. Gave that up after I drunkenly fell asleep with them in. Woke up in the morning with them stuck to my eyes. Had to keep my nerve and rehydrate them so I could remove them - delicate operation.
I never used them again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top