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Out Of Place Crumpet

Floyd1 said:
Poaching eggs properly is an artform that only a select few possess. It can so easily go wrong. A few seconds too long and it's ruined. Do you put vinegar in the water? They're always saying you should, but I tried it again the other day and it made no difference.
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So true

I often poach two eggs together and one will be perfect and the other an undercooked, nebulous mess :dunno:
 
WeirdExeter said:
So true

I often poach two eggs together and one will be perfect and the other an undercooked, nebulous mess :dunno:
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I do at least two, but it's overcooked that I hate. And it can only be a few seconds too long for it to happen. I do think larger eggs work best though. But, for me, a 'crump-ay' (see Mytho's post no.75) with a poached egg on top is a pure work of art.
 
oweny29 said:
Two problems with that idea:

1. It was too big, I mean this crumpet was about the circumference of a large cup, and I'd imagine far too heavy for a bird to carry mid-air.

2. It was toasted. That means it was inside somebody's house, and the bird would have had to get inside that house, steal the crumpet, and fly off with it.
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I agree with the posters pointing out that large birds like gulls can easily carry something the size and weight of a crumpet.

As for it being toasted, the most likely explanation, and I've seen plenty of people do this, is that the crumpet was toasted and then fell on the floor/was licked by the dog/everyone had had enough crumpets and this one was left over, and then was then lobbed into their garden 'for the birds'. The fact that large chunks of cooked food only attract rats and gulls (which are, essentially, flying rats, IMHO!) seems to escape them.
 
Maybe a nearby clay pigeon shooting establishment had run out of 'pucks' and started improvising and the toasted crumpet was 'the one that got away'?
 
Fluttermoth said:
I agree with the posters pointing out that large birds like gulls can easily carry something the size and weight of a crumpet.

As for it being toasted, the most likely explanation, and I've seen plenty of people do this, is that the crumpet was toasted and then fell on the floor/was licked by the dog/everyone had had enough crumpets and this one was left over, and then was then lobbed into their garden 'for the birds'. The fact that large chunks of cooked food only attract rats and gulls (which are, essentially, flying rats, IMHO!) seems to escape them.
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I agree. A gull once dropped a bagel on my head, so it definitely doesn't seem far fetched that this was a bird drop.
 
CodenameThrow said:
I believe that crumpets are made on a hotplate, where as English muffins (or simply "muffins" if you're in England) are baked in an oven on a sheet. Crumpets taste more like sourdough, they have a curious rubbery tang to them, whereas English muffins are blander in flavour and slightly breadier.

The correct way to serve a crumpet is, as Minda says, very close to being burnt, and a bit shrunk. Butter should be dripping through to the bottom of the item. Cheese on top of a crumpet is OK, gentleman's relish is better.

What do you mean you've never heard of gentleman's relish?
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By bizarre coincidence, earlier this very day I bought myself a little casket of patum peperium, not to mention a couple of packs of crumpets. I don't intend to ignore the universe's suggestion about what to have for supper.

Edit: Oh, boy!
 
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Jepra Peld said:
I agree. A gull once dropped a bagel on my head, so it definitely doesn't seem far fetched that this was a bird drop.
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A large gull once dropped something on my head and it wasn't a bagel...

I have been pooped on at least three times by birds:
One was about three years ago in Bristol while I was cycling - through my helmet and on my shirt.
One was a couple of decades ago while I was cycling to work - a massive mess through my helmet and on my shirt. When I got to work I had to wash my hair in the sink and soak the helmet; I hope I had a spare shirt...
And in 1988 I was pooped in Sydney on by a pigeon while I was playing cricket. Indoor cricket. There were pigeons in the sports centre. One pooped...

It's said to be good luck. When you're covered in bird poop it really doesn't feel that way.
 
A few years ago, I awoke in the very early morning and heard some sort of movement outside my window. It only lasted a few seconds and I thought nothing of it. When I got up and opened the window a few hours later, there was half a naan bread on my window sill. I presume a bird stored it there, though it's possible it was a squirrel too.
 
cycleboy2 said:
A large gull once dropped something on my head and it wasn't a bagel...

I have been pooped on at least three times by birds:
One was about three years ago in Bristol while I was cycling - through my helmet and on my shirt.
One was a couple of decades ago while I was cycling to work - a massive mess through my helmet and on my shirt. When I got to work I had to wash my hair in the sink and soak the helmet; I hope I had a spare shirt...
And in 1988 I was pooped in Sydney on by a pigeon while I was playing cricket. Indoor cricket. There were pigeons in the sports centre. One pooped...

It's said to be good luck. When you're covered in bird poop it really doesn't feel that way.
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Judging by what the gulls leave behind over our cars on a Sunday morning, they seem to enjoy a good curry and lager of a Saturday night.
 
Bad Bungle said:
My problem is I don't have a grill and my toaster just doesn't understand crumpets.
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My posh toaster that I had years ago, that you could do French bread an' all sorts in, couldn't comprehend frozen potato cakes. That's FROZEN POTATO CAKES.

The former Mr Snail decided to instruct it in the matter and burned all the wallpaper off that end of the kitchen.
 
Analogue Boy said:
This morning, I had two poached eggs on crumpets if anyone is interested.
The yolk sinks into the crumpet holes making the whole thing very flavoursome. Only missing a bit of crispy streaky bacon to make the morning complete but you can’t have everything can you?
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Real butter on the crumpets?
 
Any other kind of butter is not to be contemplated.
 
Trevp666 said:
I'd like to see someone try to put imaginary butter on their crumpets.
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I do it all the time. Imaginary crumpets as well, since they're not readily available in the U.S.A. Closest thing is English muffins.

Animals can pick food out of the trash, you know.
 
ChasFink said:
I do it all the time. Imaginary crumpets as well, since they're not readily available in the U.S.A. Closest thing is English muffins.
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English muffins aren't same at all.
You could make some crumpets. They are easy to whip up and you'd have genuine holes for the butter to run into. :)
 
I must admit "crumpet holes" sounded appetizing when mentioned above. :reyes: I have, in the past, made griddle scones, so I guess I could make crumpets.
 
Excuse me, this is the 'out of place crumpet' thread, not the 'stuff it in your face crumpet' thread.
 
I did hope against hope that this thread was about spotting a good-looking chap (or chapess for those inclined) in a place where they were not expected. But no, it’s comestibles.
 
Eyespy said:
I have a recipe for crumpets, made them once but it was a lot of faff and decent ones are so easy to find in UK.
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Quite. I picked up a pack of 6 good sized crumpets at the Supermarket today for 25p.
It had a V for Vegan sign with a Serving suggestion to add a knob of butter on top.
 
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