Spaceship Capricorn Daily Messages

[sunsplash1]

Maybe they should have learnt how to land their ship before taking off.

Too b****y right they should. I blame those out-of-the-weetbix intergalactic licenses they hand out willy-nilly to anyone with a hyper drive and free time. Those Aliens in there fancy saucer thingies get into all sorts of trouble down at the local level...

 

[AnthonyClifton]

Time to drive a stake in this bstrd thread, my bet still stands though.

What Starship Capricorn desperately needs is the introduction of several angry, predatory Xenomorphs.

That would liven things up a bit.

Let's see how smug they are when they're up to their arses in face huggers, chest bursters and razortail whipping, molecular acid spitting drones!

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Time to drive a stake in this bstrd thread, my bet still stands though.

What Starship Capricorn desperately needs is the introduction of several angry, predatory Xenomorphs.

That would liven things up a bit.

Let's see how smug they are when they're up to their arses in face huggers, chest bursters and razortail whipping, molecular acid spitting drones!

Something like:

Communication with Capt. Helena of the Capricorn. 03 September 2005

Lavar: Welcoming Helena.

Helena: Keep your voice down!! I think They can hear our chats so I'll keep this short. It appears They came onboard when we were examining space debris. We didn't notice anything at first but they incubated and hatched rapidly once exposed to air - they could have been out there for millenia.

Most of the crew are dead (I can still hear their screams) and They are hunting me down. It can't be long now but I have to rediect the autopilot to aim at your sun.

Please whatever you do - if you see our ship land do no approach. Get you governemt to nuke the area or you are all doomed!!!

Oh God I can hear them outside now....

Lavar: Helena? Helena??!?!????!

 

[AnthonyClifton]

Yes!!!

Heh.

We could literally go on for HOURS or DAYS posting Alien quadrilogy/Starship Capricorn Fan Fic. It works for other things too.

Star Trek

Lavar: I have been...and ever shall be...YOUR FRIEND...Helena!

Star Wars

Lavar: Keep it up Helena and you'll find yourself floating home!

Stargate SG-1

Teal'c: Colonel O'Neill, there appears to be a mothership in orbit around your world. Shall I fire upon it?

O'Neill: Is it Go'a'uld?

Teal'c: No...

O'Neill: Good...

Teal'c: *raises eyebrow* It is much, MUCH worse. It is populated with beings who would blather on endlessly about being unable to land, about criticisms of your system of government, your economy, your society, about all the ways that they would help you if only you would raise and make available to them inconceivable amounts of monetary resources...until, at last, you, your race, the Tauri would be forced to destroy itself if only to escape this species' neverending nonsensical yammering.

O'Neill: What are you waiting for??? Fire! Fire!!!

*Teal'c slams Starship Capricorn with overwhelming energy bolts. It explodes in a rain of shredded aluminum spacesuits and orange wigs*

Teal'c: The ship has been destroyed. Their last transmission was strange.
Unfortunately, they are using a dialect that would be unpronouncable in your language.

O'Neill: What did they say?

Teal'c: Essentially, Colonel O'Neill, they said, "Told you so!"

and so on.

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Star Trek

Lavar: I have been...and ever shall be...YOUR FRIEND...Helena!

LOL

Or:

Lavar: ~sucking gut in~ So tell me Helena - are you considered attractive amongst your people?

 

[Anome]

Maybe they're just stuck in one of those meandering sidebars Douglas Adams liked to write. You know, like how he'd start with something relevant to the plot and wind up rambling on about the entire history of some planet that is only tangentially related.

Perhaps they're just waiting for the cosmic narrator to get back to the plot.

 

[hedgewizard1]

I just wish they'd go bother the Russians, or the French, or the Brazilians. The US is not the only country with a big UFO fan base.

I didn't mention the UK because I wouldn't wish Helena & Co. on an ally.

 

[Stormkhan]

If they're so touchy about being shot down, they could always go pick on some poor, third world country, or small state that has less "efficient" military hardware ... say Borneo or an isolated pacific island. The place would benefit from the international recognition, Helena could do some sightseeing before the world press reach them and they wouldn't have to complain about natural disasters that cause thousands of dead.
This thread holds a morbid fascination for me. I can't get the foul taste out of my mouth when the idiots who are creating Capricorn clap-trap refer to massive loss of life. I seriously hope they've no relations devestated by the New Orleans tragedy. If this is meant to be escapist amusement then they should curb their inclusion of real news.

 

[sunsplash1]

Maybe they're just stuck in one of those meandering sidebars Douglas Adams liked to write. You know, like how he'd start with something relevant to the plot and wind up rambling on about the entire history of some planet that is only tangentially related.

Perhaps they're just waiting for the cosmic narrator to get back to the plot.

I think captain 'Elena and her mates have lost the plot! :?

Douglas Adams sigh

 

[BuckeyeJones]

Emps, yer so fkn Brit but yet yer so fkn funny, thank you for makin me laff mate
Peace
=^..^=217

 

[Timble2]

Well they've made some sort of decision, but not decided which Saturday it'll be between now and the Sun burning out:

Staship Crapicorn

We are sure that is good news for you
New topic: Our landings will be on a Saturday morning.

Lavar: I received information that your landing [in our area] will be on a Saturday morning, but date not established and at 10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time. Is that correct?

 

[Rrose_Selavy]

We are sure that is good news for you
New topic: Our landings will be on a Saturday morning.

Yes, we must be swift , as we are much preoccupied during that time.The window of opportunity will be small.

It must be just after Dick n Dom and just before Football Focus

 

[Stormkhan]

Hang on.
"10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time"

Which mountain? Why not Greenwich Mean Time or what's wrong with Galactic Standard (as set by the Treaty of Ariadne 4)?

Yet another get-out clause!

 

[feen5]

You should check out the message board sometime, that nutjob Lavar is saying that with the help of Helena and the motley crew of the spaceship capricorn they were able to slow down Hurricane Rita by focusing their minds. If it wasn't so sick it would be laughable. The rest of the message board reads like some sort of new age spiritual love in full of spirits this and helpful aliens that though i have been leaving the odd few messages to pi*s them off a bit, its amazing how easy it is to get their backs up.

 

[Anonymous]

Hang on.
"10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time"

Which mountain? Why not Greenwich Mean Time or what's wrong with Galactic Standard (as set by the Treaty of Ariadne 4)?

Yet another get-out clause!

When I first read the reference to Mountain Standard Time, I envisioned the crew fiddling with their watch-winders asking "...so let's get this right. Am I winding forward or backward for this?"

 

[Rrose_Selavy]

Hang on.
"10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time"

Which mountain? Why not Greenwich Mean Time or what's wrong with Galactic Standard (as set by the Treaty of Ariadne 4)?

Yet another get-out clause!

When I first read the reference to Mountain Standard Time, I envisioned the crew fiddling with their watch-winders asking "...so let's get this right. Am I winding forward or backward for this?"

Judging by the length of time that site has been online there's certainly already been a lot of winding up.

-

 

[Vardoger]

Hang on.
"10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time"

Which mountain? Why not Greenwich Mean Time or what's wrong with Galactic Standard (as set by the Treaty of Ariadne 4)?

Yet another get-out clause!

When I first read the reference to Mountain Standard Time, I envisioned the crew fiddling with their watch-winders asking "...so let's get this right. Am I winding forward or backward for this?"

Judging by the length of time that site has been online there's certainly already been a lot of winding up.
-

Winding up gullible new agers.

 

[Human_84]

eh ehhmmmm..

8)

 

[Vardoger]

So did the Capricorn land?

And will Human_84 answer?

 

[Timble2]

So did the Capricorn land?

No, by coincidence I had a look at the site to see if it was still going, same old same old...

 

[sunsplash1]

Never did get the whole Mountain Standard Time thing.

 

[SoundDust]

Cuh, so cynical, it's obviously the fault of the credit crunch/oil prices/Gordon Brown/weird brummie elf's/etc ...

 

[sunsplash1]

Yes well, I'm a believer, so's my cat. we spend many a night scanning the southern skies for some hint of H 84's Capricorn. Bit it's mostly nazi flying saucers and those bloody reptilians...

 

[Timble2]

Yes well, I'm a believer, so's my cat. we spend many a night scanning the southern skies for some hint of H 84's Capricorn. Bit it's mostly nazi flying saucers and those bloody reptilians...

...and those Greys are a real pain in the arse...

 

[Timble2]

oops