He's fairly active on Facebook:You know - I thought ol' Yaphet had died years ago. He hasn't done much recently.
Maybe he's writing a book?
You know - I thought ol' Yaphet had died years ago. He hasn't done much recently.
Maybe he's writing a book?
Just caught up with Covenant on DVD. This is the second time in a row that Ridley Scott has ripped me off. I thought Prometheus was lamentable but this was liittle better.
Warning...contains spoilers.....
Here’s how HR recruitment works in Scott’s universe. A corporation spends an absolute fortune on resources, research and a damn fine ship only to staff it with an incredibly stupid crew.
HR. So you’re applying for the job of Second in Command - what are your strengths?
Candidate. None really. In fact I’ll probably buckle at the first sign of pressure.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.
.......
HR. Well you look sassy and good enough to eat.
Candidate. Thank you.
HR. Here’s a hypothetical scenario. You’re on a strange planet and you’ve just been attacked by an alien lifeform. You’re led through a compound of corpses by a sinister stranger. What’s the first thing you do?
Candidate. I wander off on my own and go and freshen up.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.
.......
HR. We’re recruiting for more bodies to fill out our crew. What can you offer?
Candidate. Well, I am experienced in interplanetary travel.
HR. Hmmm. We’ve had some of these before. Would you believe that some of them took their helmets off on a strange planet without even checking apart from breathing it in?
Candidate. Hey, I don’t even need a helmet. That’s a cost saving to you.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.
.........
HR. So you two are married?
Candidates. Yes, happily.
HR. Do you think your relationship could in any way harm the mission if things go tricky?
Candidates. Well, I think we’d both lose our shit pretty much instantly.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.
.......
HR. So, you’re the Replicant applying for the job of making sure nothing goes wrong.
Replicant. Yes.
HR. Nice hair.
Replicant. Thank you. As a logical computerised overintelligent AI, I tend to dye it depending on what movie I’ve just seen.
HR. And what was the last movie you saw?
Replicant. Assassin’s Creed.
HR. You look just like him. Everyone in that movie has long hair.
Replicant. I can grow it out.
HR. Really? Ok...Here’s a hypothetical question. You’re in a terrible accident and you’re just a head. What do you do?
Replicant. No problem. I’ll get better. But probably a bit more evil.
HR. Let me check my records...... Ok. You’re hired.
HR. We’re still filling out the staff roster and it seems we need someone with staying power.
Candidate. That’s me.
HR. Any hobbies?
Candidate. I like nails. Like the ones that crucified Jesus.
HR. Ok. You’re hired.
Candidate. Is there a pension plan?
HR. No. Not really.
precisely and hes not done yet, what gives him the rightThis is the second time in a row that Ridley Scott has ripped me off.
Answers:HR. You are going to captain a ship to an unexplored planet. Do you
a) Send probes in advance to do a full survey and find a suitable landing site?
b) Just enter the atmosphere and fly around hoping you can find somewhere to land (which just happens to be beside an alien structure) before you run out of fuel?
Answers:
(a) Audience falls asleep
(b) Audience is engaged.
Just sayin'
Yeah maybe. But it would be a slow old film if it was filmed in that way. "Yep let's send the drones out, cup of tea anyone?" Three days later...plus it's fiction...:alien:or audience says "this is bloody stupid, all that technology and they can't work out where to land before they get there!"
Fast & Furious 5 was the best of the lot.
I take your word on this. I've not seen any of the Fast & Furious films, or even heard of them.
You'd almost think films were made for the money...After that it's just milking it for maximum dollar.
Yeah maybe. But it would be a slow old film if it was filmed in that way. "Yep let's send the drones out, cup of tea anyone?" Three days later...plus it's fiction...:alien:
I liked Prometheus. It's easy to poke fun at it, but it's engaging and looks good. Sure the cast do some dumb stuff, but honestly, people do dumb stuff. That's why we don't allow people to operate heavy machinery without checks and balances, dead mans handles and so on. Let's face it most people don't even drive in a rational fashion. I have no trouble believing a bunch of twats in the 23rd century would be as dumb as people are today. Not that I'd travel with such, I'd only lock the door and wish them luck with the alien nasty they found all by themselves.
Yeah, but is it? People aren't suddenly going to become rational and sensible in the next three hundred years any more than they have in the last 1000. I've no doubt that once space flight becomes commonplace, exactly the wrong sort of people will get involved in projects that they see as high prestige, in which they wildly overestimate their own faculties in all respects, just like they do now.I'd just find it a bit more dramatic and realistic if a well organised expedition, full of people who are highly trained and confident in their abilities suddenly come up against something totally beyond their abilities rather than a bunch of numpties who just blunder about, sticking their faces into very dodgy looking eggs etc.
Well, have you got a treat in store if you like hunky homosexual men driving very quickly!
Where were the homosexuals?Well, have you got a treat in store if you like hunky homosexual men driving very quickly!
*runs facial characteristics analysis program*Where were the homosexuals?