They Fuck You Up, Your Mum & Dad

[Cochise]

Sorry to hear that, Cochise. I hope your son is getting on ok?

He's OK, he's married and we are still in touch. But he does have some big hangups and he blames me just as much as his mum. My second wife tried very hard to be a mother to him, but it didn't really work well.

A member of my family had really bad postnatal depression, after her first child was born. I remember her telling me that when she gave birth she just looked at the new baby and thought "you've caused me this much pain, and now I've got to look after this blue screaming thing." She had a great deal of help and is now fine, but I can see where she's coming from, in a way. She was also raised RC and I don't think that helped any, when it came to that sort of issue, IMHO.

I think the two situations are often confused. They tried to treat my first wife for postnatal depression, but I think the social worker in particular just couldn't accept that my wife had no feelings for our baby - to her it had to be a temporary rejection caused by illness, which only increased my wife's resistance. (You'll soon get over it, luv - that sort of comment).

I guess in some women the mothering instinct is so strong they simply can't imagine any other reaction.

 

[ramonmercado]

Blackpool couple jailed for locking boy in coal bunker
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-la ... e-18236902

The boy's sister: "It was down to him - he kept trashing everything."

A couple who locked a boy in a dirty and cold converted coal bunker have each been jailed for two years.

The 11-year-old boy was forced to live and sleep in the room, described as a cell by social workers, and left with a potty when he was locked up at night.

His mother and her partner, in their 40s and from Blackpool, pleaded guilty to neglect at an earlier hearing.

Sentencing them, Judge Norman Wright said: "This was a flagrant abuse of power and a gross breach of trust."

The rubbish-strewn room had no heating, a bare lightbulb, and concrete walls and floor, with the child left to sleep on a dirty mattress with a sleeping bag for a blanket.

Judge Wright added: "The room has been described as a cell but it seems to me it was akin to a prison cell from a third world country, not the home of an 11- or 12-year-old living in this century in this country."

'Profound effect'
The couple, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were due to be sentenced last Monday but Judge Wright adjourned the hearing after the man collapsed in the dock.

Continue reading the main story
“
Start Quote

How can you behave like this?”

Judge Norman Wright
Speaking to the boy's mother
The boy was put in the room as punishment for raiding the family's fridge, the couple told police after their arrest.

He lived there between the ages of 11 and 12 before his school became concerned as the boy was always hungry in class. Police and social workers visited the house and he was placed in foster care.

Lawyers for the defendants said the boy was "undoubtedly" a very difficult child to manage but the parents were inadequate rather than wicked.

Judge Wright said the physical effects to the boy from living in "truly appalling" conditions may have been remedied but the psychological harm "will be unknown".

"It is bound, in my judgment, to be profound," he said.

Boy 'improving'
He said it had been submitted the child's mother was "subordinate" to her "dominant" partner but the judge ruled that their culpability was equal.

"You were his mother and it seems to me that you were not someone cowed by your co-accused," said Judge Wright.

"You were in a position to stand up (to him) and you did not.

"Your counsel say that you were someone who loved your son very much. If that was so, how can you behave like this?"

Doctors who examined the boy said he was underweight and below average height for his age, and treated him for anaemia.

Since being placed with foster parents he has put on weight and his behaviour has improved dramatically, described in court as a "remarkable achievement for him".

Det Insp Tony Baxter of Lancashire Police said: "This is as serious as it gets, every child has the right to be looked after by its parents and clearly these parents weren't looking after their child properly."

 

[ramonmercado]

Russia mother jailed for putting baby on motorway
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18789667

The baby escaped unharmed after being spotted by a passing motorist
A young Russian mother has been sentenced to eight years in jail for putting her baby on a motorway in the hope he would be run over.

A court in Moscow heard that Elena Osina, 24, had grown tired of caring for the nine-month-old child after her boyfriend moved out.

The baby was rescued by a passing motorist and has since been adopted.

Osina's younger brother was given the same sentence for helping her. Both had admitted to attempted manslaughter.

Investigators said that Osina and her brother, 21-year-old Alexander, had watched from nearby after putting the baby on the four-lane highway on the outskirts of Moscow in May 2011.

A passing motorist stopped soon afterwards after spotting the baby and thinking it was a dog or kitten. Investigators said it was a miracle that the child had escaped unharmed.

After the verdict, she told Russia's Channel One she believed the sentences were too harsh, AP news agency reports.

"Everyone can make a mistake," she was cited as saying.

 

[FelixAntonius]

A new & frightening take on:

"Sod of kids & go & play with the cars on the motorrway!"

 

[staticgirl]

Fears over 70 pupils missing without trace

6:00am Tuesday 2nd April 2013
Exclusive By Hannah Postles, T&A Reporter

The details of 70 children who have gone missing from schools in Bradford over the last three years have been posted on a Government database after all investigations to trace them failed.

Relationship breakdowns and parents taking their children overseas, to get married in some cases, are some of the reasons put forward for the “worrying” number of pupils across the district now on the Department for Education’s School to School Missing Children database.

The Bradford councillor responsible for Children’s Services, Coun Ralph Berry, said that the figures, revealed after a Freedom of Information request by the Telegraph & Argus, were a “worry” and urged people to suggest what they thought could be done to tackle the problem.

Meanwhile Coun Jeanette Sunderland, leader of the Council’s Liberal Democrat group, called for a council debate on the issue.

Figures from Bradford Council show 855 children were reported missing from education in the city between 2010 and 2012.

Of those, 304 were found and taken back into Bradford schools, while 403 were traced in other local authority areas, where that Council placed them at a school.

A further 29 were found to have left the country, three parents chose to educate their child at home and 18 students ceased to be of statutory school age while inquiries were taking place.

There are currently 13 children found and are waiting for a school place, while 14 recent referrals are still being classed as ‘open cases’ as investigations continue.

But 70 children could not be traced after visits to their last known address, attempts to contact their extended family and inquiries to find alternative addresses with bodies including West Yorkshire Police and benefits agencies.

Pam Milner, of teaching union NASUWT, said that some traveller families and those youngsters coming to the UK from Eastern Europe moved around alot because of their parents’ short-term work contracts.

“A lot of parents do not always have a positive attitude towards education and do not encourage their child to attend,” she said.

“Often children just disappear under the radar because there isn’t any joined-up networking, so if this database is trying to trace children who have suddenly moved away, that will be helpful.

“Other children from India and Pakistan go on long leave and don’t return to the same town, or can be taken to get married and may not come back again. You also have vulnerable families who live here but may have done a runner because they can’t pay their bills.”

Coun Berry said that the figure was a “worry” and one missing child was “too many.”

“When a child fails to turn up at school and there is growing concern, we have to act on the presumption that something is amiss,” he said.

“In the majority of situations it is because of a change in their family circumstances which they don’t bother to tell anyone about, like mum and dad have separated and mum’s got a new house.

“It’s a difficult one, because it could be that somebody goes abroad and takes their children and doesn’t tell us.

“It’s something that is seen in the family courts, where a family separates and one parent leaves the country and takes their children with them.

“It is a worry, but I’m not sure what more we can do – I’m open to suggestions. I think everyone has to work together on this.”

Coun Sunderland said: “If there are 70 children missing it’s extremely worrying.

“We need an explanation for why these children are missing.

“There are children who get sexually exploited in Bradford, a worrying number, and we need to make sure these children are not prey to people who do not have their best interests at heart.”

Coun Roger L’Amie, the Conservative group’s education spokesman, added: “It’s difficult in a free society, because you don’t have to ask permission to move. I think if there are 70 children off the radar it is a cause for concern.”

A Bradford Council spokesman said if a school believed a child had gone missing with their family, it would initially visit the last known address of the pupil, contact their extended family and try all known telephone numbers.

If that failed, it refered the case to the Education Social Work Service which, as part of sharing agreements, contacted bodies including West Yorkshire Police and benefits agencies to see if they had information about the child or the family’s whereabouts.

“Any information received from these agencies is acted upon, for example if an alternative address is identified, the Education Social Work Service will visit this address,” he added.

All Councils have a named person responsible for children missing education and, if there is information a family has moved to another authority, they will contact that area’s named person.

http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/n ... out_trace/

Although hopefully none of these children are being harmed it scares me that they can just fall between the cracks like this.

 

[liveinabin]

There are cases where children stay at a school long enough for the children to be registered and get at attendance record but as soon as teachers start to suspect that something is wrong and get social services involved they move and go to another school where, especially if it is in a different county, it starts all over again. Sometimes there will be a phone call from the previous school voicing concerns, but not always as sometimes the school doesn't know where the child has gone.
At my school we are lucky as we have an on site social worker who can chase these things up, but most schools don't.

 

[OneWingedBird]

inquiries to find alternative addresses with bodies

:shock:

A rather unfortunate choice of wording.

Seriously though, without googling for a link right now, I'm pretty sure I read something on this a few years ago that suggested the national figure for missing children that couldn;t be accounted for was in the thousands, which seems congruent with the figure for Bradford alone.

There's also a related issue of the shortfall in female births in some ethnic communities that's likely to be connected with women going abroad for selective terminations... even more difficult to see what we can do about that one, however wrong it seems.

 

[rjmrjmrjm]

Although hopefully none of these children are being harmed it scares me that they can just fall between the cracks like this.

I know it is worrying. But it's a hard one to judge. If the authorities keep too much information or are too active they get called 'busybodies' and 'nanny state' and it's all a conspiracy.

Similarly, when the cracks show it's because they aren't doing enough.

It would be piss easy if we could tag every child with a GPS - but that just can't be done, obviously.

 

[Quake42]

A giant to this story

Girl, 14, forced to become pregnant with donor sperm bought by mother

Judge describes 'wicked and selfish' motive of using daughter to provide parent with a fourth child

A mother forced her 14-year-old adopted daughter to inseminate herself with donor sperm to provide a baby for her after she was prevented from adopting any more children, it can be revealed.

The daughter, a virgin, is believed to have miscarried at 14, but went on to have a baby at 16 after regularly inseminating herself with sperm bought over the internet by her "domineering" mother because she was too scared to refuse.

Details of the shocking case have emerged in a previously secret court judgment, which can be reported today for the first time and which raises serious questions over loopholes in international adoptions and the regulation of the global traffic in gametes.

The adoptive mother, who cannot be identified for fear of identifying her daughter and grandchild, is now serving a five-year prison sentence after admitting child cruelty.

In a high court judgment deciding welfare provisions, family division judge Mr Justice Jackson described "an abiding sense of disbelief that a parent could behave in such a wicked and selfish way towards a vulnerable child".

The mother had already adopted three children as babies from abroad, twice when she was married and once as a single parent after her divorce. She had chosen not to give birth herself because of a health condition and had undergone an elective sterilisation.

But she was distraught when an attempt to adopt a fourth baby was thwarted when she was denied approval.

The judgment, released after representations from media organisations including the Guardian, states the mother immediately turned to her adopted daughter.

The daughter "became pregnant at her mother's request, using donor sperm bought by the mother, with the purposes of providing a fourth child for the mother to bring up as her own", the judgment states.

"The AI [artificial insemination] programme was planned when A [the daughter] was 13, began when she was 14 and ended when she became pregnant with D [her child]" aged 16, the judge said.

The truth was only discovered at the birth. Midwives were alarmed at the "pushy and insensitive" mother, who tried to prevent her daughter breastfeeding the newborn, saying "we don't want any of that attachment thing". Noticing the daughter's reluctance to hand the baby to her mother, they called in child protection workers when the mother attempted to remove the baby from the ward.

In a week-long hearing, held in private, the judge heard there were four occasions when the local authority, which cannot be named, was alerted to the mother's inappropriate behaviour towards her children but did not find cause for concern. A serious case review into the case is due to be published next month.

The mother, described as "highly articulate", and who "loves the children and they undoubtedly love her", had isolated the family. The children were schooled at home, and the adoptive father of the eldest two was deliberately excluded, did not know where they lived and had not seen them for 10 years. Neighbours and social services were kept at bay.

"The mother resorted to the AI programme because she was determined to have a fourth child, and because there was no other way of achieving this," said the judge. The daughter "allowed her body to be used by her mother because she loves her", and though she did not want to take part, she has said in interviews she was not "brave enough" to tell her mother.

The mother subjected her to a "degrading, humiliating and, on occasions, painful" ordeal. Over two years the daughter had to inseminate herself seven times, "alone in her bedroom, using syringes of semen and douches prepared by the mother".

Her mother had purchased ovulation-testing equipment to work out when her daughter was most likely to conceive. Because the mother wanted a girl, she forced her daughter to use painful acidic douches containing vinegar or lemon and lime juice, and eat a special diet, in the belief it could affect gender.

On the first occasion, semen was provided by a donor who came to the house. The others involved sperm purchased from Cryos International, an international sperm-bank network based in Denmark.

The daughter, who had no friends of her own age, later told investigators she was "shocked, pretty shocked" when her mother first asked her but also thought, "if I do this … maybe she will love me more". In agreeing, she said "feelings of gratitude for my adoption influenced how I behaved".

The court was shown a Mother's Day list drawn up by the daughter of things she could give her mother, which included a picture of a positive pregnancy test kit.

The judge said it was "likely that A had briefly become pregnant at 14" but had miscarried. When she became pregnant at 16, health workers were told the false story that she had spent the night with a boy who abandoned her and was now abroad. The girl also told health professionals it was her wish for her mother to bring up the child. The girl had, with her mother, attended private clinics on occasion for pregnancy testing, and the mother had changed her GP.

On four occasions social services were alerted over concerns about the children's welfare but on each found no immediate child protection concerns. On two of those occasions, a neighbour, worried about the children's isolation and the mother's shouting and swearing, had called. On another, the mother's GP raised concerns about who was looking after the children when the mother was admitted to hospital for a month.

The local authority was also alerted by an anonymous acquaintance who wrote to agencies and officials in the country from which the mother was seeking to adopt a fourth child, apparently raising concerns over her suitability. This ultimately resulted in her being denied approval. The court heard there were also questions over whether the third adoption had been legal, or if it had flouted international loopholes.

The mother had succeeded in keeping social services at arms' length so that their intervention was "essentially superficial", the judge said.

DNA tests showed the child was conceived using donor sperm supplied through Cryos. The judge said there were "no effective checks on a person's ability to obtain sperm from Cryos" and that no "meaningful medical involvement is demanded", except for a document, purporting to record the authority of a physician and which in any case the mother had forged.

The judge also noted that no checks were made on the children regarding home schooling after the mother refused to allow an education welfare officer to visit. The only contact was by email, so "the approval [for] home education was given without anyone ever setting eyes on the children".

In a statement, the local Safeguarding Children Board said: "Nothing can change what has happened to the children in this truly terrible case. It is clear that public bodies must highlight the major public policy issues which arise from this case. The relevant local Safeguarding Children Board has undertaken a serious case review and they aim to have this published in the coming weeks.

"The lessons from this case are already being put into practice as the relevant agencies are starting to implement its draft findings."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/2 ... onor-semen

 

[Cherrybomb]

Awful.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Horrendous.
Does this qualify as paedophilic rape by proxy? They could put that woman away for longer.

 

[Cochise]

You've got to feel some sympathy for the social workers, though, because it sounds like the mother was intelligent and organised and actively deceiving them. They aren't detectives.

 

[Cherrybomb]

You've got to feel some sympathy for the social workers, though, because it sounds like the mother was intelligent and organised and actively deceiving them. They aren't detectives.

So true.

 

[ramonmercado]

You've got to feel some sympathy for the social workers, though, because it sounds like the mother was intelligent and organised and actively deceiving them. They aren't detectives.

Indeed, she was working to a plan.

 

[Ulalume]

Horrible story.

This quote from the article bothers me a bit:

In a high court judgment deciding welfare provisions, family division judge Mr Justice Jackson described "an abiding sense of disbelief that a parent could behave in such a wicked and selfish way towards a vulnerable child".

As awful as it is, and as much as we would like to believe parents wouldn't do such things, we know they do. The expression of "an abiding sense of disbelief' is something that helps to keep abusive situations in the dark. Not just because authorities may hesitate to believe it, but because the abused child themselves can feel it's simply too outrageous to be believed and therefore keep silent.

Due to my background, I know very well how powerfully that idea can work to keep someone in a bad situation.

 

[Monstrosa]

"Nice", middle class parents who can afford to adopt from abroad don't "do that sort of thing". Yeah, right.

 

[GNC]

Bad parenting is no respecter of class barriers, but to be fair a mother forcing her adopted child to become pregnant like that is a freak occurrence (thank goodness).

 

[ramonmercado]

Tucson Daughters 'Held Captive For Two Years'
http://news.sky.com/story/1174316/tucso ... -two-years
Arizona police arrest a couple accused of imprisoning three girls, aged 12, 13 and 17, in their bedrooms in filthy conditions.9:36am UK, Wednesday 27 November 2013 Tucson Daughters Held Captive

Two girls escaped, the third was found by police. Pic: KOLD TV

By Sky News US Team

A Tucson couple have been arrested on suspicion of holding their daughters captive in the family's home in filthy conditions for up to two years.

Arizona police said the girls complained that they had not been allowed to bathe for months.

Police were called to the house on Tuesday after the two youngest girls, aged 12 and 13, ran to a neighbour's house, Captain Michael Gillooly said.

They said their stepfather had kicked in their bedroom door and tried to assault them with a knife.

When police went to the home, they found a third girl, age 17, locked in a bedroom.

"All three juveniles were extremely dirty ... and malnourished and stated that they had not bathed in the last four to six months," Mr Gillooly said.

Their mother and stepfather, Sophia and Fernando Richter, were arrested on charges of emotional and physical abuse and three counts of kidnapping in connection with holding the girls in their bedrooms.

Tucson Daughters Held Captive
The girls said they had not been allowed to bathe in months
The man, 34, was also charged with sex abuse.

The girls reported being fed only once daily.

They were kept separated from each other, and the younger girls told a patrol officer they had not seen the 17-year-old girl in about two years, police said.

Investigators were still seeking to determine exactly how long the girls were held captive.

"During the course of the investigation, it was alleged by the girls that they had been imprisoned within their bedrooms for approximately the last two years," Mr Gillooly said.

 

[ramonmercado]

Russia: Parents call for ban on ghoulish dolls
News from Elsewhere....
...as found by BBC Monitoring
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-fr ... e-26017539

Monster High dolls

Taking children down a dark road? One Russian pressure group wants these toys banned

A range of horror dolls has angered a Russian parents' group who claim they promote suicide and could be "a threat to national security", it seems.

The conservative Ural Parents Committee is demanding the Monster High dolls - made by American toy company Mattel - should be banned from sale.

They say they are "obscenely dressed and represent dead people," Saint Petersburg's Channel Five television reports.

The committee also wants to see the spin-off cartoon series banned from Russian television screens.

According to the group's president Yevgeniy Zhabreyev, the ghoulish dolls, which take the form of zombies, vampires and werewolves, could give Russian children ideas about suicide.

"A child starts playing with death, she gets mesmerised with it and she does not notice the line where she becomes unbalanced and wants to sleep in a similar bed," he told Yekaterinburg local TV, adding this could be a matter of national security.

A Russian parent discusses Monster High dolls as her daughter plays in the background
One Saint Petersburg parent was happy for her daughter to play with the dolls
"Children have been acting weirdly," Zhabreyev said in another interview. "One girl aged seven wants to wear a black dress, to change her hair colour and threatened to harm herself if her mother took away the toy."

The group vowed to have the dolls examined by experts to substantiate their claims. But one six-year-old girl interviewed by Channel Five said she wasn't scared of her dolls at all.

The Urals Parents Committee has previously spoken out against other aspects of western culture, calling on President Vladimir Putin to prevent Elton John playing a concert in Yekaterinburg due to his views on homosexuality.

Use #NewsfromElsewhere to stay up-to-date with our reports via Twitter.

 

[OneWingedBird]

Most dolls here look like anorexic prostitutes.

Those 'horror' dolls aren't too bad. :?

 

[Kondoru]

Im somewhat disturbed by the Bratz line.

(I also suspect I would have loved them at 10...)

 

[Mythopoeika]

Im somewhat disturbed by the Bratz line.

(I also suspect I would have loved them at 10...)

Funnily enough, I was in Tescos earlier and passed a load of these dolls. My thought as I walked past was 'weirdness'.

 

[krakenten]

I thought that the Bratz dolls had been banned in a copyright dispute?

Now, of course, the nannyists are horrified by any plaything that does not reflect their views. Almost all children can distinguish between real and make-believe, and the ones that can't need to be hatched up!

The world as it is does NOT resemble the universe of the Smurfs or My Little Pony, and children know this. They take brief excursions into the fantasy land, but return none the worse for wear.

A few people(who are nuts!) can't distinguish-some are even adults, the kind who think Harry Potter is a real person, or that miracles are commonplace. Magical thinking, the refuge of the true squirrel-head, and when they act out, people often bleed.

But not in nanny-land, where if we say it isn't, it isn't. Everywhere else, that's called denial, and is reckoned to be a Very Bad Thing.

To resist the darkness, and to seek the light, that's what we should be doing, but to simply try to order it away, well, ever hear of King Canute?

Gotta go, it's ritual day at the Temple of Cthulhu, and it's my turn to bring the donuts.

 

[ramonmercado]

Most dolls here look like anorexic prostitutes.

Those 'horror' dolls aren't too bad. :?

Indeed. When I was a kid there was a moral panic about the Frankenstein, Dracula etc kits ( I don't think they were Airfix). Some f**kwit in the US satarted a campaign against monster dolls and ut spread over here.

Warren Horror Comics were also a victim of that moral panic as the Vampirella "doll" was popular among young males.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Warren Horror Comics were also a victim of that moral panic as the Vampirella "doll" was popular among young males.

Nope. Can't see why.

 

[ramonmercado]

Warren Horror Comics were also a victim of that moral panic as the Vampirella "doll" was popular among young males.

Nope. Can't see why.

When I assembled the Vampirella model my fingers were sticky from the airfix glue, honestly.

 

[CarlosTheDJ]

Still a top selling comic book!

Nope, can't see it meself.

 

[Kondoru]

sorry, Im disturbed by the neat shirt collar (but no shirt)

And the bat on her undies.

 

[ramonmercado]

sorry, Im disturbed by the neat shirt collar (but no shirt)

And the bat on her undies.

Its a pussybat. Sorry I've got a lisp.

 

[Cochise]

Frankly, if you are going to turn into a bat at intervals I doubt you'd be wearing any clothes at all.