Weird Presents / Gag-Worthy Gifts / Terrible Toys

Mighty_Emperor

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Anyone seen any strange, unusual, odd, etc. presents for Xmas?

I just saw an advert for Wedgie a children's toy but it was pretty distrubing:

From somewhere in the glittering backwater of American pop culture has emerged one of the strangest and most deeply disturbing electronic toys we've ever seen. Wally Getsa Wedgie is a toy parents are sure to hate and kids are sure to find themselves drawn to.

Picture an 8-inch tall model of a very young redneck kid with buck teeth jutting out of a grin that stretches from one misshapen ear to the other. He's the indelibly cute but undeniably annoying little brother that anyone with younger siblings is sure to have grown to both love and loathe.

Wally's bobbing head races with juvenile thoughts as he tries to regale you with the latest happenings in his life, make you laugh with a grab bag full of the most predictable jokes ever, and just generally try to annoy you. In order to stop his babbling, you have to grab the band of his underwear peering above his pants and yank it up until you lift the poor, annoying Wally up off the ground with a good, old-fashioned wedgie.

techtv.com/freshgear/specialevents/story/0,23008,3373156,00.html
Link is dead. The MIA webpage can be accessed via the Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/2003080...r/specialevents/story/0,23008,3373156,00.html


see also:

http://www.toymania.com/toyshows/tf2002/pretiger-wally.shtml

Emps
 
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Anonymous

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There's also a kids doll on the market whose selling point is that it can use a potty. It's anatomically correct in every way and I know kids have an unhealthly interest in all things scatological but it disturbs me.

More disturbing but for many different reasons are the 'Bratz' dolls and another set of girlie dolls that come complete with their own boyfriend.
 

escargot

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'She goes to the toilet in her nappy, and then she uses her potty!'
I presume 'goes to the toilet' means 'does a wee'.

Or worse.

The suspense is killing me- must buy one!;)
 

OneWingedBird

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Anyone know if Hawkin's Bazzar is still going?

They used to be ~the~ place for weird gifts.
 

Mighty_Emperor

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BRF: Ah yes I bought an awful lot of presents from them a decade ago - they did a nice line in tin toys too if I remember. I had a nose around and found this:

http://www.hawkin.com

Its not exactly easy to get into but they seem to have a similar stock (probably better to get them to send you the catalogue). I see they have 'Naughty Join the Dots' - I'm not sure I can face that again after I got the numbers wrong one of their puzzles and things got s little disturbing quite quickly.

Emps
 

OneWingedBird

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Ah brilliant, thanks Emps.

First ordering system I ever saw where the 'title' pull down menu includes Baron/Baroness/Lord/Lady!

We had the catalogue a few years back and my flatmate forbade me ordering the stomp rocket...
 

ogopogo3

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Um..............

stupid.com/stat/XMSC.html
Link is dead. The MIA webpage can be accessed via the Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/20031011032650/http://www.stupid.com/stat/XMSC.html

Here is an excerpt and the photo that appeared.


hohohat-1.jpg

The Holiday Baseball Cap
With Lighted Antlers


This delightful number is a quality baseball cap with faux (that means fake) Reindeer Antlers sticking out of it. As if this wasn't weird enough, the antlers have a string of Christmas lights dangling from them. And yes, they're wired so they really light up.

Imagine the look on Dad's face when he takes this monstrosity from the box. Or Cousin Annie's expression as you urge her to "try it on for size."
 
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GodzillaGirl

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Well, I don't have a picture, but this seems like the right place to talk about a gift I received. It was a lamp / music box. There was a fiber optic dinosaur and palm tree that changed colors inside a retangular plastic box. The base of the box is where the music box was. The song it played was "Memories". I thought it was the best gift ever. It was broken during a move and I have been disappointed about it for years now. Oh, if only someday I could find another...
 
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Anonymous

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Lillith said:
More disturbing but for many different reasons are the 'Bratz' dolls and another set of girlie dolls that come complete with their own boyfriend.

all those 'lets reinforse the patriachy' dolls are creapy:

girls are souposed to play at being mothers (baby dolls some of wich piss and shit themeslfs), play at being beautifull (or wearing makeup and doing their hair anyway) and at being hetrosexual.

Burn the whole lot of them! :mad:
 
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Anonymous

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Religious tack: post ironic irony or just surealism?

Au Natural the ultra cheap and tacky 'interiors' shop is offering bleading heart pictures with a disco light behind them for £15 pounds.

I'm not sure how to read them :(
 

Mighty_Emperor

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Sounds great - I heard the other hear about a holographic picture/poster of Jesus on the cross and as you walked past it his head slumps forward (or I suppose if you walke din the other direction his head would come up which would be creepier) and I certainly wanted that as Xmas pressie the other year - luckily I decided to change my list to more sensible things before I sent it to Santa.

[edit: And on the them I have wondered about the item mentioned in the Flaming Lips song "Thank You Jack White (For the Fiber-Optic Jesus That You Gave Me)"]
 

elvissa

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Ha-ha-ha, Ogopogo!

Reminds me of the Christmas socks I got my dad when I was 10. They played 'Jingle Bells' when you pressed a button on them. Sadly, every time my dad moved, he set it off! They drove him mad, but he didn't want to take them off because they were his special Christmas socks. My brother bought him a Christmas tie which played some other festive song, and my dad wore it to work and everytime he leant gainst his desk to work, he set it off.

We weren't all that popular after that. :(
 

elvissa

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Your highness has reminded me -

Some lesbians in New York swapped the voices in Action Man and Barbie. So Action Man says something like 'I must go to the salon!' and 'What a lovely wedding'. Barbie says something like 'Grenades ready - attack!' Now that's what I want for Christmas!
 
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Anonymous

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Emperor said:
[edit: And on the them I have wondered about the item mentioned in the Flaming Lips song "Thank You Jack White (For the Fiber-Optic Jesus That You Gave Me)"]

I wanted that as soon as I heard it: fiber-optic Jesus? :blissed:

A friend once had a VirginMaryholdingthebabyJesus snow globe that lit up when you placed it on a surface...oh god how I loved that...



Some lesbians in New York swapped the voices in Action Man and Barbie. So Action Man says something like 'I must go to the salon!' and 'What a lovely wedding'. Barbie says something like 'Grenades ready - attack!' Now that's what I want for Christmas!

now that sounds like fun! :D
 

intaglio

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Unusual Products

One of those Christmas Gift Magazines arrived with my New Scientist.

These foodstuffs were for sale

Weasel Coffee
Delicious coffee regurgitated by weasels. It's the taste!
You can keep your skinny lattes and your fancy frappuccinos; the beans used to make this incredibly rare coffee have been eaten and then regurgitated by Vietnamese weasels. Sickening delicious!

Monkey Picked Tea
Why not paws for a cuppa?
This deliciously delicate brew has been hand - or rather paw - picked by specially trained monkeys. No, really! The industrious little fur balls are famous in China, and the leaves that they pick produce a wonderful, pale golden tea.

Alcoholix Lolly
Lollipop, you make my heart go giddy-up!
These exceedingly slurpable lollies have genuine edible creepy crawlies embedded within their candy confines. Choose from vodka flavour with a scorpion or tequila flavour with a worm. Yummy!

Here's the link
 

mejane

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And I thought I was bad for taking a temp job at Past Times (get your genuine faux 1930's CD player here!)

This may just be my fevered imagination but isn't there a real South American regugitated coffee? Probably nothing to do with weasels though...

Jane.
 

oll_lewis

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mejane said:
And I thought I was bad for taking a temp job at Past Times (get your genuine faux 1930's CD player here!)

This may just be my fevered imagination but isn't there a real South American regugitated coffee? Probably nothing to do with weasels though...

Jane.

I heard that they feed coffie beans to a lama or something and the poo is colected and this is some sort of delicacy in the world of coffie.
Maybe this post should be put in the urban legends forum:D
 

inkedmagiclady

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This thread title is tempting me to start listing all those crazy Fortean products we came up with on the half man half lizard thread. Teeeheheeee:D

I did read about that regurgitated coffee jane........I can't remember where or when I read it. I thought it was some animal who did not digest the beans but I don't remember it being a llama. :confused:
 

TheOriginalCujo

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Isn't it a Tapir or something? Some sort of weird semi-cryptozoological annimal anyway.
 

inkedmagiclady

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Ok it was going to mean some loss of sleep if I did not find it somewhere. I found this little blurb:

http://www.ambrosiasw.com/webboard/Forum14/HTML/000055.html

According to local legend, the palm civet, in spite of its categorization as an omnivore, is a fastidiously picky eater. Thus, it is thought that this musky epicure selects only the coffee cherries that are at their very peak of ripeness and savor. (Other foodstuffs selected by the civet at their very peak of ripeness and savor include: insects, palm sap, birds, voles, spiders, squirrels, and frogs.)

As the civet's gustatory interest is strictly in the outer, pulpy portion of the coffee fruit, it allows the commercially viable pit (containing two of what we know as the coffee bean), to pass through its digestive tract physically unscathed, though perhaps somewhat morally cheapened.

Like the common house cat, the civet habitually tends to void its bowels in the same spot every day. Thus, it's the work of but a moment for cheerful coffee plantation workers to run their fingers through the creature's rich, loamy feces and glean the treasures within, which are then washed (thank god for small comforts), roasted, and sold as "the world's finest, and most expensive, coffee," at prices often exceeding 0 per pound.
 

rynner2

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Bump! All the strange presents put under the same tree. :)
 

escargot

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Marecl Berlins wrote superbly about barristers wearing musical underpants in court a few years ago. They do it for a dare as M'Lud is unlikely to be amused when they go off, so to speak.:D
 
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escargot said:
Marecl Berlins wrote superbly about barristers wearing musical underpants in court a few years ago. They do it for a dare as M'Lud is unlikely to be amused when they go off, so to speak.:D

*shudder*

Musical underpants :eek!!!!:
 

intaglio

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Coffee - Weasel coffee

This is the stuff, taken from firebox.com website

Weasel Coffee
Delicious coffee regurgitated by weasels. It's the taste!
You can keep your skinny lattes and your fancy frappuccinos; the beans used to make this incredibly rare coffee have been eaten and then regurgitated by Vietnamese weasels. Sickening delicious!

:cross eye :cross eye :cross eye
 

carole

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Thanks for that link, Intaglio, I bought a Christmas pressie for my husband from it!

Carole
 
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Anonymous

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This has to be a joke but it's got a full page advert in the Radio Times......electrical appliances (including a kettle) that do a celebrity impression, in the kettles case when the water boils.......wow, I would never get tired of hearing that :rolleyes:

http://www.laughterlines.info
 
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Anonymous

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Lillith said:
This has to be a joke but it's got a full page advert in the Radio Times......electrical appliances (including a kettle) that do a celebrity impression, in the kettles case when the water boils.......wow, I would never get tired of hearing that :rolleyes:

http://www.laughterlines.info

sometimes you just wonder :rolleyes:
 
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