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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

kamalktk said:
Don't stick things in your penis.

https://nypost.com/2021/08/13/michigan-man-gets-six-beans-lodged-in-penis-in-bizarre-sex-stunt/

"He was struggling to “pea.”

A randy Michigan man redefined “c-block” after he got six kidney beans lodged in his urethra during a bizarro attempt at sexual gratification.

The unnamed 30-year-old patient had reportedly wanted to “express the beans during ejaculation,” according to the wince-worthy report published in the journal Urology Case Reports.

So the sexual eccentric shoved six kidney beans in his urethra and attempted to expel them via “natural emission.” However, his pea shooter jammed during the process, prompting him to try to remove them with tweezers."
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There is a whole sexual subculture around sounding and related activity.
The things some men will do to their willies, well, it make us girls with our vajazzles look rather unadventurous.

I reckon this bloke has been digging around on dodgy sites.
He was lucky really as people have been maimed or even killed trying out new fetishes. The BMJ is full of them. :omg:
 
escargot said:
There is a whole sexual subculture around sounding and related activity.
The things some men will do to their willies, well, it make us girls with our vajazzles look rather unadventurous.

I reckon this bloke has been digging around on dodgy sites.
He was lucky really as people have been maimed or even killed trying out new fetishes. The BMJ is full of them. :omg:
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And apparently dunking your todger in apple cider vinegar is not a good idea & won’t make it 65% bigger.
 
hunck said:
Boosts your immune system - crack one off against Covid. Could be public health slogan.
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c19.jpg


It's pretty hard but I'll give it a try.

Look at how big your spike proteins are...

Ooh baby, infect me....

ok, this isn't working.
 
Naughty_Felid said:
With the number of men dying or having horrific life-changing issues with prostate cancer we really need to encourage male masturbation.

Seriously, it's still considered a bit dirty or something that is frowned upon and yet the disease is killing off loads of men.
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Have to say that I have never known a man to feel embarrassed or ashamed about masturbation.

It's a major subject of banter among them, like the world's longest running joke. :chuckle:
 
hunck said:
Boosts your immune system - crack one off against Covid. Could be public health slogan.
Click to expand...
I remember one of my school mates telling me about how he though he was going to get off with some girl so he'd splashed aftershave over his bell end. He told me he ended up in a lot of pain, I can't remember if he hooked up with the girl anyway.
 
Naughty_Felid said:
With the number of men dying or having horrific life-changing issues with prostate cancer we really need to encourage male masturbation.

Seriously, it's still considered a bit dirty or something that is frowned upon and yet the disease is killing off loads of men.
Click to expand...
Citation please.

hunck said:
Boosts your immune system - crack one off against Covid. Could be public health slogan.
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AFAIK: Sperm contains zinc which aids the immune system so some topping up through diet or pills may be wise.
 
Swifty said:
I remember one of my school mates telling me about how he though he was going to get off with some girl so he'd splashed aftershave over his bell end. He told me he ended up in a lot of pain, I can't remember if he hooked up with the girl anyway.
Click to expand...
In the novel Jaws, which is about anything but a shark, a woman who is about to go to bed with a lover for the first time is described in detail preparing for her date.
Guess where she dabs some perfume? :omg:
That must've felt like being bitten by a shark. :chuckle:
 
No monkey business allowed.

For the past four years, Adie Timmermans has visited Belgium's Antwerp Zoo to spend time with Chita, a 38-year-old chimpanzee. According to reports, the two wave and blow kisses at each other.

"We're having an affair, I'll just say," Timmermans told Antwerpse Televisie.

Now though, the zoo has apparently banned Timmermans.

"When Chita is constantly surrounded by visitors, the other monkeys ignore him and don't consider him part of the group, even though it's important for him," a zoo spokesperson said. "He then sits on his own outside of visiting hours."

https://boingboing.net/2021/08/25/zoo-bans-woman-having-affair-with-chimpanzee.html
 
Goose Eye Brewery did a beer called Pommies Revenge, it had a high
zinc content and the opposite effect to brewers droop.
Treat yourself and your husband to a pint or two if it's still going
and you don't even have to drink it to feeeeeel the benefit.
:omr: :beer::beer::beer::beer:
 
A young Indian man's death was attributed to multiple organ failure after he used strong epoxy to "seal" his manhood in lieu of a condom during sex with an ex-fiancée. Drug usage (also employing the epoxy) was involved.
Man dies after having sex using epoxy adhesive instead of a condom

His faux-phylactic resulted in fatal organ failure.

Police are probing the bizarre case of a 25-year-old Indian man who suddenly died after using a high-powered epoxy resin — instead of a condom — before having sex.

“They used the adhesive to avoid pregnancy,” a local investigator told the Times of India of the prophylactic fiasco, which occurred June 22 at a hotel in Ahmedabad, Gujarat. ...

Salman Mirza, of Fatehwadi, and his unnamed ex-fiancée were captured on closed-circuit television security footage entering the fatal flophouse in the Juhapura neighborhood of Ahmedabad.

“Several witnesses said that Mirza, along with his former fiancée, both of whom were addicted to drugs, had gone to a hotel in Juhapura,” the senior police official told the local outlet. “There, they applied an epoxy adhesive on his private parts as they were not carrying any protection.”

In addition to sealing off Mirza’s manhood, the couple also mixed the epoxy with “whitener” and inhaled the mixture for a “kick,” News18 reported. The lovebirds’ acquaintances told an official the doomed duo were intoxicated from the chemical cocktail at the time of the ill-fated hookup. ...

The following day, Mirza’s acquaintance Firoz Shaik discovered the man lying unconscious in shrubs near an apartment complex, whereupon he took him home, according to the Times of India report. His condition deteriorated rapidly, prompting Firoz to rush his friend to Sola Civil Hospital.

Police report that Mirza “died due to multiple organ failure” caused by the MacGyver-style contraceptive. Meanwhile, the man’s friends suspect that he might have lost consciousness while abusing the chemical and the counterfeit condom only accelerated his demise. ...
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FULL STORY: https://nypost.com/2021/08/25/man-dies-after-having-sex-using-epoxy-adhesive-instead-of-condom/
 
Friend of mine had a heavy date on so after a shower he sprays something round
the old phallus wanders down stirs and into the kitchen were upon he notices
things are getting a bit warm round the wedding tackle, this rapidly escalates
to feeling he has a full blown forest fire going on round the nether regions,
his mother hearing the screams rushes in to find him with the block and tackle
under the cold water tap.
The moral of this story is read the label before applying to delicate bits you don't
want you mum to see you dangling under her cold tap.

:omr:
 
RaM said:
Friend of mine had a heavy date on so after a shower he sprays something round
the old phallus wanders down stirs and into the kitchen were upon he notices
things are getting a bit warm round the wedding tackle, this rapidly escalates
to feeling he has a full blown forest fire going on round the nether regions,
his mother hearing the screams rushes in to find him with the block and tackle
under the cold water tap.
The moral of this story is read the label before applying to delicate bits you don't
want you mum to see you dangling under her cold tap.

:omr:
Click to expand...
Pepper spray. Reaches the parts that other sprays don't.
 
RaM said:
Goose Eye Brewery did a beer called Pommies Revenge, it had a high
zinc content and the opposite effect to brewers droop.
Treat yourself and your husband to a pint or two if it's still going
and you don't even have to drink it to feeeeeel the benefit.
Click to expand...
Is it applied topically?

(Asking for a friend)
 
EnolaGaia said:
A young Indian man's death was attributed to multiple organ failure after he used strong epoxy to "seal" his manhood in lieu of a condom during sex with an ex-fiancée. Drug usage (also employing the epoxy) was involved.

FULL STORY: https://nypost.com/2021/08/25/man-dies-after-having-sex-using-epoxy-adhesive-instead-of-condom/
Click to expand...

Many moons ago, my father (who played rugby league in his younger years) was an acquaintance with a well known footballer who played for a Sydney club who had the nickname of 'Bear'. He once told me...
Legend goes that he obtained this name when one night on a football tour to England, he found himself back at his hotel room with a young lady. When no condom was to be found he grabbed a roll of 'Bear Tape' that he used to strap his boots with and used it to tape his penis as a temporary measure.
His team mates of course found out as the subsequent skin loss from the tape removal required medical attention and a new story goes down in the annals of touring history.
 
kamalktk said:
Only 50% of men masturbate.
The rest are lying.
Click to expand...
I don't know what percentage of women admit to masturbating, but this one was definitely lying ... ... on a public beach.
Woman Busted For Pleasure Session On Beach

A woman arrested for masturbating with a vibrator on a Georgia beach told police that she did not think anyone witnessed her self-pleasure session “because it only took her 20 seconds to orgasm,” according to a police report.

Responding to a 5:30 PM report of a woman “performing a sexual act on the beach,” Tybee Island cops last month interviewed a witness who said the female suspect placed a towel on the sand and then opened her backpack and removed “what looked like a vibrator.”

The woman, the witness told police, began using the apparent vibrator to masturbate, adding that she “could hear her moaning.” After about five minutes, the woman gathered her belongings and departed.

The witness, cops noted, recorded the suspect’s actions. ...

Investigators subsequently located the suspect, Christina Revels-Glick, 34, at a nearby restaurant. Revels-Glick, a Georgia resident who lives about 40 miles from Tybee Island, reportedly “admitted to masturbating at the beach with her vibrator.” ...
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FULL STORY: http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/tybee-island-exposure-827501
 
"The Effect of Nipple Erection on Intended and Expected Altruism"

Researchers showed over 400 college-aged men and women photos of females in need of help. After looking at the photos, the study participants were asked a series of questions about whether or not they’d help out the needy females.

The scenarios involved things like helping the woman carry a heavy box, change a tire, tutor her for free, or loan her a hundred bucks.

41VZMjI922L._SY300_QL70_.jpg


Two sets of photos were used. In one set, the women needing help had visibly erect nipples. In the other, nary a nip was seen.

What they found:​

  • Male participants were MORE likely to show altruistic helping behavior if the woman in the photo had visibly erect nipples. They perceived the “my eyes are up here” women as more deserving of help.
  • Female participants were LESS likely to help out the women with erect nipples compared to those with shy nipples. In fact, they even said they’d be less likely to include the nippy women in their social circles.

But Why?​


Erect nipples are perceived as an indicator of sexual arousal. Naturally, whether men consciously notice or not, they’re drawn to the “more attractive” and possibly horny women. Evolutionary biology, innate mating behavior, and all that jazz.

Now, of course, hard nips aren’t always a sign of sexual arousal, but they’re perceived that way. Hey, mister, maybe she’s just cold.

The researchers noted that altruism, in this case, may not be altruistic at all. Instead, the helping behavior is just a chance to interact socially with a potential new bed buddy.

Okay, so why did the female participants say they would most likely NOT help the women with their high beams on?

While the researchers didn’t get into that much, previous research shows that women get competitive around other females they perceive as more attractive. Those women are viewed as competition. It’s a lizard-brain instinct, at least according to many biologists.

https://www.t-nation.com/sex-hormones/news-sex-study-male-behavior/

maximus otter
 
"Demon came with his penis and put it in my mouth"

 
EnolaGaia said:
Investigators subsequently located the suspect, Christina Revels-Glick, 34, at a nearby restaurant. Revels-Glick, a Georgia resident who lives about 40 miles from Tybee Island, reportedly “admitted to masturbating at the beach with her vibrator.” ...
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

Why do the suspects in these cases always have such interesting names - which are so easy to use for suggestive anagrams:

Thriving Isle's Cackler
Crack Revisiting Shell
Cervical Gherkin's Slit
 
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