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When You Send Off For Something Dodgy And The Police Turn Up Instead

I've got the first 120 or so issues of B at home. In fact, if you have a look at the letters page in the 100th issue, you'll see my wedding photo....

It was hot, wasn't it? ;)
 
There was indeed a man on fire.
 
The knives appealed to me because I just like gadgets. In my job, being seen carrying a knife means instant dismissal, as with alcohol or drugs. I do carry scissors, a bottle opener/corkscrew and a few basic tools, and a cute little 'Wallet Ninja' in my phone case.

The card-knife would fit in a phone case but I decided not to carry it, or not at work anyway. No need to ask for trouble!

Nobody likes to be seen carrying a knife - the idea is to _not_ be seen with it ;)

Why not just sharpen the edge of one of your less-important cards? It won't kill anyone but it will give them a nasty cut.

Just to make it clear - I don't as a matter of course carry weapons. But I am interested in knowing what one could defend oneself with if it comes to it.
 
Nobody likes to be seen carrying a knife - the idea is to _not_ be seen with it ;)

Why not just sharpen the edge of one of your less-important cards? It won't kill anyone but it will give them a nasty cut.

Just to make it clear - I don't as a matter of course carry weapons. But I am interested in knowing what one could defend oneself with if it comes to it.

A cheesegrater
 
Pens and pencils spring to mind.

Writing instruments are effective stabbing implements, and they are common objects anyone might be carrying.

There are such things as designed weapons (e.g., awl-like spikes) housed in faux pens. However, these would be construed as concealed weapons.

A sturdily-constructed pen is probably a better choice than a pencil, though I can attest to the fact an ordinary #2 pencil can be driven full-tip (i.e., 'to the yellow') into a human wrist with no extraordinary effort.
 
Nobody likes to be seen carrying a knife - the idea is to _not_ be seen with it ;)

Why not just sharpen the edge of one of your less-important cards? It won't kill anyone but it will give them a nasty cut.

Just to make it clear - I don't as a matter of course carry weapons. But I am interested in knowing what one could defend oneself with if it comes to it.
A huge bunch of keys.
 
... But I am interested in knowing what one could defend oneself with if it comes to it.

Any of a number of hand tools can serve as weapons, and they have the added benefit of being an ordinary object one can explain away.

Once upon a time my preferred 'ordinary object weapon' stored under my driver's seat was an 18" long straight-slot screwdriver. It was plenty hefty enough for jabbing or employing as a club / baton.
 
As far as I'm aware, it isn't illegal to buy or sell cannabis seeds. They could, for example, be grown for hemp fibre - and that wouldn't be illegal. You used to be able to buy packets of seeds from 'head shops' in various towns and cities around the country. Only if grown for their psychotropic products would they be illegal.

Many moons ago I worked as a custome officer at a large mail office in the east end of London. I was opening a parcel one day and found it contained six gin-traps - of the type/size that could potentially be used for trapping foxes. I was/am an animal lover, and while I don't have any particular problem with the humane killing of nuisance animals, I did/do have a problem with traps of this kind.

I contacted our office and was told that these traps (at the time) fell into the 'legal to own, illegal to use' category. They passed the report on to our superior (an HEO in civil service parlance at the time) who was similarly disturbed by the traps but agreed that there was nothing we could legally do. He did pass on the message to his superior (an SEO) who actually came down to the floor where I worked, had a look at the traps, shook his head, and said to let them go to their destination. He took a note of the name of the recipient and said that he'd get in touch with the local police there and let them know the items were going to be turning up shortly on the recipients doorstep and request that they pay the recipient a visit - to give him a 'friendly warning' against using them.

So in this case, Customs did tip the police off, although the traps weren't technically illegal.
 
In a vaguely-similar vein, I remember flying back from China many moons ago (pre-2001) with a brief stopover in Milan. At the Italian customs, one of the officers cheerily informed my companion that the 'antique' 8-inch ceremonial knife in his cabin bag should really have been in his suitcase. My friend protested that he'd been allowed to board the plane with it in Beijing, so what was the problem? El Doganale chuckled and rolled his eyes, and said that Chinese customs just didn't give a ****. He then told my friend that he'd give it to the cabin crew, who would return it to him at Stansted. Yes, really.

I dread to think what the consequences would be if he tried it now. I suspect there'd be considerably less relaxed banter and good humour, for starters....
 
My Mother once sent a letter to some official body, using an old envelope. She didn't know it contained half an asprin.

She got a phone call from the police to check that she wasn't sending anthrax through the post.

Naturally she said 'no'.
 
I was talking to my Lab consumables Rep after the anthrax spores-through-the post scare in the US. His company had received a special order for black latex gloves from some American agency hoping to make it easier to spot any powdered anthrax. The order fell through when the Customer discovered that anthrax spores are brown, (there are very few things in Nature that are white in their natural state) so the black gloves wouldn't offer much help. The left-over stock soon sold through word of mouth though to the growing number of S&M sites on the web.
 
This article is the reverse of thread title: a Montreal woman ordered something banal (a cat dish) from Amazon but instead she received prohibited items which she turned over to the police.

https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/woman-o...eceives-prohibited-stun-gun-instead-1.4276084

I love her online statement to Amazon, "J'ai commandé un joli bol pour contrôler mon glouton de chat ...". :) Her lovely tuxedo boy strongly resembles my Annabelle.
 
I know someone who knows somebody who once attempted to mail an ounce of cannabis from the West Coast USA to another person in the Eastern part of the country.. The package was not delivered; instead, after six weeks, the intended recipient (who had paid for said cannabis in advance, and thought s/he had been ripped off by the sender) got an official letter from the US Postal Service stating that packages originating from California, Oregon and Washington were routinely inspected, that a package containing illegal cannabis, which was addressed to the recipient, had been intercepted and confiscated--but that if s/he wanted it, s/he could come to a certain official-sounding address in the State Capitol and claim it (the person declined to do so).
 
I know someone who knows somebody who once attempted to mail an ounce of cannabis from the West Coast USA to another person in the Eastern part of the country.. The package was not delivered; instead, after six weeks, the intended recipient (who had paid for said cannabis in advance, and thought s/he had been ripped off by the sender) got an official letter from the US Postal Service stating that packages originating from California, Oregon and Washington were routinely inspected, that a package containing illegal cannabis, which was addressed to the recipient, had been intercepted and confiscated--but that if s/he wanted it, s/he could come to a certain official-sounding address in the State Capitol and claim it (the person declined to do so).

Sounds unlikely to me. The sender and receiver would both be guilty of a Federal offence, namely Trafficking a Schedule 1 drug, which is punishable by up to 5 years inside and $250,000 fine for even an ounce. I wouldn't have thought the USPS would tip them off like this, because they flag people who are attempting to traffic drugs this way, and try to establish if there's a pattern. Depending on the particular State, the Statute of Limitation means they will have years to spring up and nick the parties involved, and then can reveal and charge them for all the other times their packages have been intercepted too.
I would have expected them to just seize the package and wait for the dumb-asses to try again, and again, then swoop and nick them for the combined amount trafficked.
 
Here's another close analogue to the thread's theme. It was reported to me by a friend during the past week.

My friend originated in the Midwest (USA) but lives on the West Coast. She regularly returns to the Midwest to visit and care for her aged mother, who lives alone and receives household caregiver services multiple days per week. My friend returned home from the last trip in early December.

Sometime within the last 7 - 10 days the local police came to the mother's apartment and asked to search it. The only clue to their objectives was a question to confirm whether the daughter had sent packages to the mother's address. The mother confirmed that the daughter had sent her Xmas gifts, couldn't get any more explanations for what was happening, and allowed the police to search her home. They searched all over (closets, etc.), thanked the mother without revealing the cause for the visit, and left.

A few days later the mother learned what it was all about. The very nice visiting caregiver from the social services agency (her favorite to date) had been using the mother's address as the destination for multiple shipments purchased using (what were apparently ... ) fraudulent credit card numbers and other false information. The caregiver was somehow arranging things so that the packages arrived on the days she was there performing her care visits. She intercepted the incoming packages and took them away without the mother even knowing a delivery had been made.

There's been no indication the mother's (or daughter's) personal data was used to make the purchases. Apparently her home was simply being used as the final drop-off point for the ill-gotten goods.
 
Sounds unlikely to me. The sender and receiver would both be guilty of a Federal offence, namely Trafficking a Schedule 1 drug, which is punishable by up to 5 years inside and $250,000 fine for even an ounce. I wouldn't have thought the USPS would tip them off like this, because they flag people who are attempting to traffic drugs this way, and try to establish if there's a pattern. Depending on the particular State, the Statute of Limitation means they will have years to spring up and nick the parties involved, and then can reveal and charge them for all the other times their packages have been intercepted too.
I would have expected them to just seize the package and wait for the dumb-asses to try again, and again, then swoop and nick them for the combined amount trafficked.

Nah, it's an easy way to nick someone. Less paperwork.
 
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