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What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

Ogdred Weary said:
I suspect that that term is very, very old fashioned, it seemed ancient to me in the 90s.

"Puddle jumper" is quite a term though, other than sounding vaguely rude I have no idea of its basis.
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If you jump over a puddle, you don't want to ruin your shoes. (I'm not trying to promote the use of any of these terms before anyone gets cross).
 
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Swifty said:
If you jump over a puddle, you don't want to ruin your shoes. (I'm not trying to promote the use of any of these terms before anyone gets cross).
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I don't get what that has to do with lesbians?

I can see how it fulfills a stereotype of gay men though.
 
Ogdred Weary said:
I don't get what that has to do with lesbians?

I can see how it fulfills a stereotype of gay men though.
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Yeah, the second one was meant as a stereotype of gay men. As pandacracker says, let's get back to penises ... don't ever watch something called The Pain Olympics on the internet. My old flatmate showed it to me and it's blokes deliberately mutilating there own genitals on planks of wood. As you do.
 
Swifty said:
Yeah, the second one was meant as a stereotype of gay men. As pandacracker says, let's get back to penises ... don't ever watch something called The Pain Olympics on the internet. My old flatmate showed it to me and it's blokes deliberately mutilating there own genitals on planks of wood. As you do.
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OMG. To do that and video it too.....

That reminds me of a legal case that happened some time ago that involved participants in similar activities.
 
Ogdred Weary said:
I don't get what that has to do with lesbians?

I can see how it fulfills a stereotype of gay men though.
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You may be conflating two of the expressions discussed above.

"She favours the sensible shoe" and variants of that expression allude to the old fashioned stereotypical "short hair and dungarees" style of lesbian in low heeled shoes or Doc Martens.

"Puddle jumper" is probably about the fashion conscious and fastidious stereotype of a gay man who "prances about" and doesn't want to get his shoes wet or dirty.

I don't condone either of the expressions. Stereotypes always come from somewhere and there are always some real examples of each, but this in no way means that all lesbians or gay men fit one mould.

I have heard "She favours the sensible shoe" used between straight men of a certain age: the same sort of old duffer who might suggest that a gay man is "batting for Darrington" or that a lesbian is "on the other bus."

I don't really like the suggestion that it is a "euphemism"as this word implies wrongly that there is something shameful to conceal. Shades of the old days of "He is a confirmed bachelor" and "the love that dare not speak its name".

Personally, I find the modern relentless interest in other people's sexuality and gender tedious. People either improve your life by arriving, or they improve it by leaving. What they do with their naughty bits, and with whom, is their business, not mine.
 
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Mikefule said:
You may be conflating two of the expressions discussed above.

"She favours the sensible shoe" and variants of that expression allude to the old fashioned stereotypical "short hair and dungarees" style of lesbian in low heeled shoes of Doc Martens.

"Puddle jumper" is probably about the fashion conscious and fastidious stereotype of a gay man who "prances about" and doesn't want to get his shoes wet or dirty.

I don't condone either of the expressions. Stereotypes always come from somewhere and there are always some real examples of each, but this in no way means that all lesbians or gay men fit one mould.

I have heard "She favours the sensible shoe" used between straight men of a certain age: the same sort of old duffer who might suggest that a gay man is "batting for Darrington" or that a lesbian is "on the other bus."

I don't really like it as the suggestion that it is a "euphemism"as this word implies wrongly that there is something shameful to conceal. Shades of the old days of "He is a confirmed bachelor" and "the love that dare not speak its name".

Personally, I find the modern relentless interest in other people's sexuality and gender tedious. People either improve your life by arriving, or they improve it by leaving. What they do with their naughty bits, and with whom, is their business, not mine.
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You definitely don't want to watch the penis mutilation pain olympics then.
 
Mikefule said:
"She favours the sensible shoe" and variants of that expression allude to the old fashioned stereotypical "short hair and dungarees" style of lesbian in low heeled shoes or Doc Marten
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That's all a bit modern. The Lesbian footwear of choice used to be "sensible brogues" which often matched their tweed jackets and trousers, back in those Radclyffe Hall days*.




*A few years back, I was delighted to discover that a relative, by marriage, had been tracked-down by one of his "wild-oats." In contrast to his other children, born several sides of the blanket, she turned out to be a magnificently traditional RH gal. Possibly the best one living and a fantastic artist! We get on very well at family gatherings! Must be those sensible brogues! :)
 
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Mikefule said:
I don't really like the suggestion that it is a "euphemism"as this word implies wrongly that there is something shameful to conceal. Shades of the old days of "He is a confirmed bachelor" and "the love that dare not speak its name".
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That is an entirely fair point. What I found humorous - inappropriately, I guess - is that pretty much everyone knew exactly what they were talking about but hadn't the courage to speak out loud.

It would be nice to think those days are behind us but alas it's not entirely true.
 
JamesWhitehead said:
That's all a bit modern. The Lesbian footwear of choice used to be "sensible brogues" which often matched their tweed jackets and trousers, back in those Radclyffe Hall days*.




*A few years back, I was delighted to discover that a relative, by marriage, had been tracked-down by one of his "wild-oats." In contrast to his other children, born several sides of the blanket, she turned out to be a magnificently traditional RH gal. Possibly the best one living and a fantastic artist! We get on very well at family gatherings! Must be those sensible brogues! :)
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I like brogues. Nice classic shoes.
 
A mate of mine was known to use the sapphic phrase “she likes to lap at the hairy goblet” which I found rather poetic in its own sweet way…..…nothing to do with big fat cocks though….sorry to further any thread drifting!
 
Sgt Girth said:
A mate of mine was known to use the sapphic phrase “she likes to lap at the hairy goblet” which I found rather poetic in its own sweet way…..…nothing to do with big fat cocks though….sorry to further any thread drifting!
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"Drinking from the furry cup" is the variation I have heard on occasion.
 
Ogdred Weary said:
What did you do to your vagina last year?

Any plans for 2023?
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Endlessly Amazed said:
Dear Fortean Friends, I wish to point out, tactfully and respectfully, that I cannot locate any thread about "The Horrible Things I Did to My Vagina Last Year."
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I may be wrong here, EA, but I get the impression that most people who are the owner of a vagina tend to be a bit more careful with their property. I stand to be corrected on this point.
 
There's the old joke: a granny is going for a gynaecology examination and feels a little self conscious so asks her daughter to get her something to make herself "presentable" to the gynaecologist. So her daughter gets her some "feminine deodorant" spray, on the day the older lady uses the spray, has the examination and the (male) doctor thanks her for "making an effort". She relates this to her daughter upon her return, who then discovers she accidentally used her grandchild's glitter spray by accident.
 
WTF ?????
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