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What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

catseye said:
I don't mind heading up the confiscation squad.
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scissors-sewing.gif
 
Don't we already have a thread on this? I can remember contributing summaries of BMJ articles on exotic practices such as pearling.
 
escargot said:
Here's another quirky proposal from the Reddit AITA sub -

Well, after we finished watching a movie in bed my boyfriend started making moves and it was clear we were going to have sex. He said “Babe, would you mind pegging me?”

Granted, this is not something we do frequently but I said I was down. I asked him if he was going to clean himself/prep before we got started, and he said he already had. I thought this was odd since we were together all evening and I didn’t remember him leaving but I figured I just forgot.

Suddenly he gets on all fours and sticks is butt out, and I see a diamond poking out of his butthole like a tiny butt plug.

He asked me to marry him and he was dead serious.

I was absolutely disgusted and refused to pull the ring out. I asked him: what was I supposed to say when people asked about the proposal story? We got into a huge fight and now we aren’t really talking.

:rollingw:
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A ring from a ring.
 
escargot said:
Don't we already have a thread on this? I can remember contributing summaries of BMJ articles on exotic practices such as pearling.
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I won't ask what that is, or how you know....
 
escargot said:
Here's another quirky proposal from the Reddit AITA sub -

Well, after we finished watching a movie in bed my boyfriend started making moves and it was clear we were going to have sex. He said “Babe, would you mind pegging me?”

Granted, this is not something we do frequently but I said I was down. I asked him if he was going to clean himself/prep before we got started, and he said he already had. I thought this was odd since we were together all evening and I didn’t remember him leaving but I figured I just forgot.

Suddenly he gets on all fours and sticks is butt out, and I see a diamond poking out of his butthole like a tiny butt plug.

He asked me to marry him and he was dead serious.

I was absolutely disgusted and refused to pull the ring out. I asked him: what was I supposed to say when people asked about the proposal story? We got into a huge fight and now we aren’t really talking.

:rollingw:
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I know you were once in the habit of saying "I used to be married to that". Thanks for sharing the engagement story to go with it.
 
Thanks scargy it’s not pleasant but it’s worth it just for the peace of mind that everything is okay.
Started of as kidney stones and they discovered I had bladder cancer very very early stages and the wonderful people of the NHS sorted it all out god bless em
 
Swifty said:
Move to my town. That's not a personal offer btw. Then go to The Albion if you're not fussy on karaoke night when Wayne's singing. Don't leave your drink unattended though.
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Something to do next time I'm in Cromer....

Actually, that sounds like the start of a long story, Swifty. Are you inclined to elaborate?
 
Dinobot said:
I can see you doing that....


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Actually I'm a nice person. Nothing that has happened to my penis has been done without the lady's consent - and on a few occasions with their surprising and enthusiastically creative extra contributions to what I had expected as normal expressions of fondness.
 
Swifty said:
Yes. If it was a bloke he'd be 'a good listener' and 'good with his colours'. More power to her, our town flies the rainbow flag.
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No problem to me, my second best friend is getting married to her girlfriend this year. My brother came out as gay 30 years ago.

I just find the old euphemisms amusing.
 
Cochise said:
No problem to me, my second best friend is getting married to her girlfriend this year. My brother came out as gay 30 years ago.

I just find the old euphemisms amusing.
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Me neither mate .. 'puddle jumper', 'chutney ferret', 'woman in comfortable shoes' etc etc .. amusing's fair enough to me. 'Twink' and 'Teddy Bear' I've been euphemism described as by gay blokes in the past .. don't ask me what that means though ..
 
Swifty said:
Me neither mate .. 'puddle jumper', 'chutney ferret', 'woman in comfortable shoes' etc etc .. amusing's fair enough to me. 'Twink' and 'Teddy Bear' I've been euphemism described as by gay blokes in the past .. don't ask me what that means though ..
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I've not heard of puddle jumper before....I can't even work that out at all....

'woman in comfortable shoes?'

OMG. Is that the sort of assumption some men would say about any woman not killing herself by wearing accident-inducing high stilletto heels?

:omg::rofl:
 
Earthly oddity said:
I've not heard of puddle jumper before....I can't even work that out at all....

'woman in comfortable shoes?'

OMG. Is that the sort of assumption some men would say about any woman not killing herself by wearing accident-inducing high stilletto heels?

:omg::rofl:
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I suspect that that term is very, very old fashioned, it seemed ancient to me in the 90s.

"Puddle jumper" is quite a term though, other than sounding vaguely rude I have no idea of its basis.
 
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