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Aggressive & Destructive Squirrels

JamesWhitehead

JamesWhitehead

Piffle Prospector
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http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,835154,00.html


Flesh-eating squirrel stalks streets of Knutsford

Rebecca Allison
Thursday November 7, 2002
The Guardian

Householders in Knutsford, Cheshire, are being plagued by the unlikeliest of foes - a vicious grey squirrel with a penchant for human flesh.
The rogue animal is believed to have attacked at least six residents in the past week, and his antics are now being described by residents as "well beyond a joke".
One woman suffered a nasty bite on the ankle before she could shake the tiny creature off her leg. And a two-year-old girl was taken by surprise when the squirrel jumped at her, clung on to her head and bit her on the eyebrow.
One resident, Blanche Kelly, told the Times that the squirrel chased her round the garden. She admitted she would stay indoors if she spotted the squirrel near the house. "Everyone round here is living in fear and they will not let their children out any more because of this violent squirrel.
"I cannot even put my washing out. I'll never trust squirrels again."
It is thought the squirrel may have been kept as a pet, then abandoned. If squirrels are tamed when young but then let go they can end up being rather bold with humans.
The RSPCA was yesterday called in to deal with the animal before it decided to savage anyone else. Colin Booty, a senior scientific officer in the RSPCA's wildlife department, said it was unusual for an urban squirrel to act so aggressively towards humans. Although these rodents can become accustomed to human contact they usually remain fairly wary, he said.
 
Last summer, I was sitting outside of work with my girlfriend having some sandwiches when a hornet came buzzing around the picnic table and starting eating a piece of ham that had fallen out of the sandwich. It was bizarre, because I doubt pigs were its natural food. What the heck do hornets eat, anyhow?
 
unless it was a zombie squirrel.
Quick, cut it's head off.
 
The Ballad of the Flesh-Eating Squirrel.

Grey, alien beastie of old Knutsford town,
You bit a woman's foot and made her frown.
You threw yourself at the face of a tot
And clung to her eyebrows - of blood there was a lot.

The RSPCA man said you may once have been a pet,
Tame when young and afterwards a get.
"Yon urban squirrel," said the man on duty,
"Is unusually aggressive." (His name was Colin Booty.)
The neighbours all began to live in fear:
"We cannot put our washing out round here!"

But the Grandad of the savaged tot
Was used to shooting vermin so he had a shot.
He knew the squirrel from the patch on its tail
So he took aim with his gun. And he did not fail.

Farewell, grey terror of old Knutsford town,
Your reign of blood was short and now you've lost your crown.
The moral of the tale is plain to see -
We'll shoot mad vermin directly out the tree.
So do not wear a coat of grey
Or you may get plugged the self-same way.
And, if you fancy clinging to a face,
Lay your eggs in the belly to continue the race. :(
 
Ogopogo said:
Last summer, I was sitting outside of work with my girlfriend having some sandwiches when a hornet came buzzing around the picnic table and starting eating a piece of ham that had fallen out of the sandwich. It was bizarre, because I doubt pigs were its natural food. What the heck do hornets eat, anyhow?
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i think im right in say that hornets eat meat and have been known to sit at a bee hive entrance and bite off the heads of returning worker bees etc and eat dead animals.........
 
Ham and Tay

Ham: I expect that Ogopogo's hornet was just sucking the moisture out of the ham. If hornets and wasps were to develop a taste for swine flesh, us humans would be next!

Tay: I enjoyed James Whitehead's "Ballad of the Flesh-Eating Squirrel". Perhaps it wasnt quite "The Bridge over the Silvery Tay" by the Great McGonnigal, but it was a fine piece of work.

I can't believe that the Killer Squirrel made both CNN news and
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I guess I started buying cable television at just the right time. Perhaps I shouldn't have put it off for twenty-odd years--I wouldn't have had to pay for all those VHS and DVD recordings. Then again, I'd be a bit squirrelly myself by now.
 
T'was on the R4 News Quiz as well:

"I was terrified when this powerful grey beast threw itself upon me"

Said Edwina Currie
 
Does anyone know what's happened to the Squirrel's corpse? (I think they should stuff it and put it on display in Knutsford)
 
James Whitehead said:
The Ballad of the Flesh-Eating Squirrel.
Click to expand...
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"A rollicking read" Sunday Times Literary Supplement

"Four stars" Empire Magazine

"This sort of thing really doesnt help" Squirrel Fanciers Gazette
 
Is it true there is no Rabies in the UK? (I seem to recall reding that once.) Here any warm-blooded animal acting that abnormally and aggresively would definitely be tested for The Frenzy by the public health dept.
 
Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.
Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.

"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he added.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4489792.stm
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An aggressive squirrel has been terrorizing residents in Queens (NY City).
Serial squirrel: Neighbors keep eye out for fierce rodent

Residents of a Queens neighborhood are dealing with a squirrely threat.

Denizens of the New York City borough’s Rego Park neighborhood say an aggressive squirrel has jumped on them and bitten them in the past several weeks, WCBS-TV reported Wednesday.

Micheline Frederick pointed to a bruise on her wrist where she said the squirrel landed on her and then sank its teeth into her fingers and hand.

“We’re wrestling in the snow and there’s blood everywhere and my fingers getting chewed and it won’t let go,” Frederick said. “Eventually, it just stopped and there I was a big bloody mess.” ...

Two other neighbors told WCBS the squirrel had jumped on them, seemingly unprovoked.

“These squirrels are aggressively going after people,” Vinati Singh said.

The city’s Department of Health advised the neighbors to hire a licensed trapper, but the large metal traps have not yet captured any squirrels, the broadcaster reported.

The reason for the squirrel — or squirrels’ — aggressive behavior is not clear. Small rodents like squirrels rarely test positive for rabies and are not known to have transmitted it to humans, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Click to expand...

FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/article/new-york-new-york-city-rodents-queens-24eef034610d8535e69a628da19c987a
 
Mike_Pratt33 said:
Good. A Squirrel is just a rat with a hairy tail.
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A squirrel is a rat with a bushy tail and a good marketing campaign.

Generations of children have been brought up with the idea that squirrels are cute, fluffy, endearing and benign, whereas foxes are sly, weasels are wicked, and so on. In reality, they are all potentially dangerous animals (including some of the children!).

People shriek and shy away when they see a rat; they are charmed when they see a squirrel. This is all to do with cultural perceptions and little to do with reality.
 
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Mikefule said:
A squirrel is a rat with a bushy tail and a good marketing campaign.
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Agree 100%, with the caveat that this refers to the invasive grey squirrel, not the native red squirrel.

Greys are to be whacked at every opportunity; anyone even narrowing his eyes at a red, answers to me.

maximus otter
 
I once was chased by a squirrel for over 600 feet, on a city sidewalk, including crossing busy streets. It began with me being amused, and ended with me being terrified. It emotionally scarred me for life. :) I agree about the publicity/marketing campaign. Walt Disney is a paid shill for squirrels.
 
A work colleague of mine I've known or many years, has described her war with the squirrels, both grey and brown I think. They chew through her siding near her roof and then destroy the attic, etc. She's kills them by drowning them en masse and it really sounds like hand-to-hand combat with them --one of her neighbors feeds them and they just descend on her house in endless waves, it seems.
 
ogopogo3 said:
Last summer, I was sitting outside of work with my girlfriend having some sandwiches when a hornet came buzzing around the picnic table and starting eating a piece of ham that had fallen out of the sandwich. It was bizarre, because I doubt pigs were its natural food. What the heck do hornets eat, anyhow?
Click to expand...
Even Wasps eat meat/flies, even scavenging on dead slug bodies on occasion, I've also seen them grabbing flies in mid-air.
 
feinman said:
A work colleague of mine I've known or many years, has described her war with the squirrels, both grey and brown I think. They chew through her siding near her roof and then destroy the attic, etc. She's kills them by drowning them en masse and it really sounds like hand-to-hand combat with them --one of her neighbors feeds them and they just descend on her house in endless waves, it seems.
Click to expand...
If only Hitchcock had thought of squirrels instead of birds...
 
Squirrels chewing up the wiring for a St. Paul (Minnesota) park's Xmas display killed the display in 2020 and forced the radical downgrading of this year's display.
Squirrels force St. Paul park to scale back holiday lights

A troop of fat, hungry squirrels has put the kibosh on a downtown St. Paul park’s holiday lights display.

Friends of Mears Park had to forego the usual display this year because squirrels chewed through the lights’ wires last year and the vendor refused to put up with the headache and cost again this year, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported Tuesday.

The wires, it turns out, were coated with polylactic acid, a derivative of corn sugar, an appealing appetizer for squirrels spoiled by park visitors who won’t stop feeding them, said Ann LaBore, co-chair of the friends group. ...

Instead of the traditional display, the friends group is using a projector to create a kaleidoscope of snowflakes and base lights that bathe the trees in green and blue. LaBore said she’s gotten complaints that the display is far too anemic this year.

Blame the “tree rats,” La Bore said.

“People look down from their condos or apartments and they want to see the twinkly lights,” she said. “Well, we can’t have twinkly lights. ... ”
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FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/article/lifestyle-holidays-st-paul-586846170c2d06ffbb8d4e6367b86a97
 
JamesWhitehead said:
…Stripe, the Gremlin-Squirrel, had people afraid to leave their houses…
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giphy.gif


maximus otter
 
EnolaGaia said:
Squirrels chewing up the wiring for a St. Paul (Minnesota) park's Xmas display killed the display in 2020 and forced the radical downgrading of this year's display.

FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/article/lifestyle-holidays-st-paul-586846170c2d06ffbb8d4e6367b86a97
Click to expand...
As I read it. . . it's more the fault of the wiring manufacturers for coating there wires with a corn starch derivative which attracted there attention. One thing Squirrels are not, are so-called 'tree-rats.'
I've never yet seen one crawling into, or out of a drain, or dining out of bins!
 
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