Flatulence, Farts & Farting (General; Miscellaneous)

[CALGACUS03]

The dangers of socially distanced teaching..

And proof (if proof were needed) that women do do it too.

 

[DrPaulLee]

Children are like farts. You love your own but you hate other people's.

 

[gordonrutter]

The dangers of socially distanced teaching..

And proof (if proof were needed) that women do do it too.

Hey that’s a danger in face to face teaching.

 

[Kondoru]

I once farted loudly and stinkily enough that a person next to me vomited.

That is quite the claim to fame, I think

 

[Frasier Buddolph]

I once farted loudly and stinkily enough that a person next to me vomited.

That is quite the claim to fame, I think

Your family must be SO proud.

 

[Kondoru]

<Nods wisely>

Yes, they certainly are.

 

[JamesWhitehead]

Hey that’s a danger in face to face teaching.

In the classroom, one owes it to the profession to let rip only when positioned next to the least popular boy in the class.

Online, it's "Shoo! Bad boy, Polyphemus! It's outside with you, for the rest of the day!"

"Oh, Sir, you keep promising to show us your one-eyed giant!"

 

[Frideswide]

I once farted loudly and stinkily enough that a person next to me vomited.

That is quite the claim to fame, I think

 

[DrPaulLee]

https://b3ta.com/questions/farting/

 

[DrPaulLee]

Britney Smears. Puerile but might raise a rictus smile

 

[Spudrick68]

My shameful episode came in my first year at University.

We were learning about statistical tests and were all crowded into a small printing room. Unfortunately I knew that I was going to fart and that it could potentially smell unpleasant.

A mate of mine was 6 foot 5 tall. So I stood next to him, slipped my fart out and timed it perfectly. Whilst the smell had clung to him but yet detected publicly I swiftly moved to the other end of the room.

Everyone looked at him with disgust and I got off scott free.

 

[Kondoru]

Blaming someone else. Where's the fun?

You must be blatant and look pleasantly shameless.

 

[DrPaulLee]

FODMAP. That's a new one on me.

https://www.edp24.co.uk/lifestyle/how-to-deal-with-embarrassing-wind-8360886

 

[escargot]

As a 12 year old I was helpless with laughter reading Spike Milligan's Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall and his description of the barrack room at night, the silence being disturbed by "great asphyxiating farts which rendered their owners unconscious."
Needless to say, Blazing Saddles was also my favourite movie.

I bought that book for my father when it came out as Dad was a Spike fan. He didn't seem impressed which surprised me until I read it and grasped the depths of the slapstick depravity it plumbed.

These days I just reckon Spike had a better war than Dad did.

I laughed till I cried, and so did Spike when he read it all aloud.

 

[catseye]

I still remember with giggles my dad, playing pool. I've no idea why or where, but we were in a pool hall, me, my dad and my ex. My dad bent over to take a shot and let the most resounding fart go. I swear the windows rattled. Everyone was in tears of hilarity, play stopped at the other tables for a while until we could all gain some self control.

 

[pandacracker]

The dangers of socially distanced teaching..

And proof (if proof were needed) that women do do it too.

The kids reactions are fantastic. I've just had a laugh the like of which I haven't had for ages.

Many thanks @CALGACUS03

 

[charliebrown]

Believe it or not studies show men and women fart about the same volume each day.

Farts are highly flammable.

Some doctors feel holding a fart in is dangerous to your intestines by distending the intestines.

 

[escargot]

Believe it or not studies show men and women fart about the same volume each day.

Farts are highly flammable.

Some doctors feel holding a fart in is dangerous to your intestines by distending the intestines.

As with many things though, you can't hold it in forever.

 

[escargot]

Radio 4 has a series called United Kingdoms which I highly recommend.
Hear me out, there is farting.

A ground breaking five part series from exciting new writers celebrating and revealing life across the United Kingdoms in short, sharp drama, comedy, news reports, song and poetic monologue. Stories, lives and voices making a kaleidoscope of now. Each episode features five short dramas by different writers - a total of 50 writers and 100 actors have been brought together, showcasing new writing and performing talent from every corner of the United Kingdom.

The most recent edition is called Reflecting.
(Safe BBC link)
Reflecting

At 05:35 -

Cardiff Gate - Going back to work with a stoma is no joke. In this surreal comedy, Greg Glover reflects on his real-life experiences of coming to terms with an ileostomy.

Everything heard in this segment illustrates what I'd been trying to explain to a relation about stomas. I sent her a link to it.
The answer is yes, they can fart.

 

[charliebrown]

Even though my wife and I knew each other as children, she actually grew up at Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York while my family stayed in Tennessee.

She likes to stuff cabbage leaves with rice, ground beef and cooked in tomatoes, tomato sauce, topped off with shredded sour kraut over the whole thing.

When we both eat this, we both have to stay away from each other.

 

[Mythopoeika]

As with many things though, you can't hold it in forever.

My sister can. I think she never developed the muscles that allow burping and farting.

 

[escargot]

Even though my wife and I knew each other as children, she actually grew up at Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York while my family stayed in Tennessee.

She likes to stuff cabbage leaves with rice, ground beef and cooked in tomatoes, tomato sauce, topped off with shredded sour kraut over the whole thing.

When we both eat this, we both have to stay away from each other.

Techy has only recently discovered the joys of coleslaw, bless'im.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Techy has only recently discovered the joys of coleslaw, bless'im.

He'll keep up with you now.

 

[charliebrown]

Most of my grandkids will not eat a vegetable, and can not even serve it to someone when asked to do so.

But my 6 year old grand boy just loves vegetables which just amazes all the family.

 

[Nosmo King]

Techy has only recently discovered the joys of coleslaw, bless'im.

I was a late convert to coleslaw, about 10 years ago, I love it now

 

[escargot]

I was a late convert to coleslaw, about 10 years ago, I love it now

I had some for tea with brie toasted in brioche rolls in my panini toaster.

 

[Nosmo King]

I had some for tea with brie toasted in brioche rolls in my panini toaster.

I like a baked potato with grated extra mature cheddar and coleslaw

 

[charliebrown]

Again, in southern states, coleslaw was a lot of times is just added as a side with fried fish or fried chicken along with biscuits or corn bread as part of the meal.

With these weird covid shortages, maybe not these days.

The Coke-Cola driver told me at the grocery the other day that he does not even know what he will get in the morning to deliver to the groceries.

He said the supply chain was really bizarre.

 

[Reverend D]

The fact that he looks like Neil Warnock just makes this video even funnier to me.

(Skip forward to 0.45 to get to the ACTION)

 

[escargot]

I like a baked potato with grated extra mature cheddar and coleslaw

Had a job where I'd take the same sarnies every day: white thick cut bread with slices of Cheddar cheese and a dollop of coleslaw spread over.
4 slices, thick cheese, half a tub of 'slaw, Bob's yer uncle.

paaaarrrrrrpppppppp