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Funny And/Or Weird Happenings Whilst Drunk (Stoned; Tripping; Etc.)

I remember from time to time when we were all out for the night, someone would come out of the men's room yelling:
'Who lost their teeth? They're in the toilet!' LOL!
 
Ronnie Jersey said:
I remember from time to time when we were all out for the night, someone would come out of the men's room yelling:
'Who lost their teeth? They're in the toilet!' LOL!
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Now why would you take your teeth out in the loo?

To vomit?

I assume they meant they were left lying near the toilet and hadn't fallen down a toilet bowl....or in the standup ones......
 
kesavaross said:
Years ago after a late afternoon/early evening pub crawl with a friend we decide to have a meal at a fairly posh and busy Italian restaurant. First of all we ordered two beers whilst perusing the posh menu that we were too drunk to read. My mate when supping his beer decided for some bizarre reason to loudly slurp it like a kid would. I said to him to just stop as people were looking at us. He just carried on slurping away. Then the fit of giggles hit me and then I decided to join in making slurping noises while drinking. Then we were both in hysterics and each time either of us loudly slurped at our beer, it just made the hysterics worse. At one point I remember being hardly able to breathe.

The waiter came over and simply and abruptly said in a thick heavy 'I mean business' Italian accent to STOP. So we sat there like scolded children trying not to laugh and he said to order your food or get out. Then he held out both hands palms down and did the 'now calm down' type gesture.

We ordered a soup starter. God knows what mine was because because the writing wouldn't stay still long enough for me to read what the waiter was pointing at. I just pointed at something and said that one please. When the soups arrived my mate very poshly and very loudly said 'excuse me waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup'. That was it. I was now in open uncontrollable hysterics. The waiter said to finish our soups, pay, and then leave.

In between the occasional slurping from the spoon and bouts of yet more hysterics we finished our soups. Well I didn't quite finish mine. What ever was, it nearly blew my head off. I think extra chilly may have been added. All I said to my mate was should I ask for a doggie bowl and he erupted in howls of laughter. Strangely enough, the waiter didn't come over and tell us to leave so we finished our beers with more than few more slurping noises and more outbreaks of supressed hysteria.

While drinking our beers I decided to have a mint from the little bowl that was full of them. Quite a few places do that. Quite what the mints are for, dunno. Somehow, and intoxication may have had something to do with it, I half dropped them and most of the mints fell onto the white tiled floor and bounced like hail does in a hail storm. They went every where like white ball bearings. The rest of the mints, we rolled them across the floor when no one was looking. We sat there finishing our beers sniggering uncontrolably while watching the waiters walking about serving people and without knowing it either kicking these mints around or stepping on them with a loud crunching sound. These mints were camouflaged and were hard to see but we certainly heard them.

I don't know if any on here have done this. When a kid a school when the teachers back was turned I'd often get my wooden ruler and hold one end on the desk and and 'twang' the other end. The ruler would make a sort of 'b - boing' noise. Very funny when you're a kid. We did that with the knives on the table. All I remember is sitting there with my elbows on my knees and my hands holding my head and crying with laughter.

This restaurant was packed full of people.

Before we had finished our beers the waiter came over and said now you pay and leave and pay a tip for the mess you've made. I asked in a very sensible and polite way if we could have a few more mints to go as the bowl was empty. The waiter just pointed at the till.

Anyway, while staggering to the till area I crunched a mint and in hysterics and with tears streaming from our eyes we paid and left a hefty tip. I think, if I remember correctly, it was £25 or maybe even £50 which in the 90's was a serious tip. We were both then earning very good money.

The waiter sort of escorted us sobbing with laughter to the door and outside and said to have a good evening.

What was odd he was smiling whereas inside he was stern and strict. Drunk though we were my mate said why the smile? He said words to the effect of we had brightened up a dull evening of them doing the same thing they all do every night and thanks for the over generous tip. We weren't trouble, like many drunks are, just drunk and funny. I said about all the mints all over the floor and he said not to worry, the whole event, it was the funniest thing he'd seen in years and most customers were smiling and some were even laughing. Or something like that. As we staggered off, he waved god bye.

The next day, oh what a hang over. I spent the day in bed. What ever anyone says, there is no cure except not to drink in the first place.
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Every time I read this story I get the giggles....I love the pure joy....
 
I'm pretty confident copious amounts of alcohol were involved here ...
When a small animal splays itself like this to stay cool it's called "splooting." Humans can sploot, too - at least they do in Cromer ...
Man's surprise at finding virtually naked man asleep on car in Cromer

A bizarre photograph of a man dressed only in his pants and socks while asleep on top of a car has been shared after a night of "commotion" in Cromer.

The strange incident was caught on CCTV in the car park behind New Parade in the early hours of Sunday (August 14).

Nearby residents reported hearing "commotion" throughout the night and on Sunday Tom Selby decided to investigate.

After trawling through footage, Mr Selby said he was "surprised" to see the semi-naked man having a nap on the car - the owner of which is unknown - and described him as being "discombobulated".

"I was a bit confused as to why he was in his socks and pants. It’s a first for me I have to admit," he said. ...

One person wrote: "My guess is he’s soon going to get married."

Another added: "Just cooling down. Nothing odd. Nice cool roof to lay on."
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FULL STORY: https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926
 
EnolaGaia said:
I'm pretty confident copious amounts of alcohol were involved here ...
When a small animal splays itself like this to stay cool it's called "splooting." Humans can sploot, too - at least they do in Cromer ...

FULL STORY: https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926
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To be hoenst, with the temperatures and humidity we've had lately, I'm not even sure that alcohol would need to be involved. When you're looking at the third sleepless night in a row, sweaty and cross, heading outside and splaying out over the nearest cool surface begins to seem like a good idea!

Loads of people have been sleeping in their gardens round here. I'd join in but the thought of being stamped on by hedgehogs all night puts me off.
 
catseye said:
To be hoenst, with the temperatures and humidity we've had lately, I'm not even sure that alcohol would need to be involved. When you're looking at the third sleepless night in a row, sweaty and cross, heading outside and splaying out over the nearest cool surface begins to seem like a good idea!

Loads of people have been sleeping in their gardens round here. I'd join in but the thought of being stamped on by hedgehogs all night puts me off.
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If I lived in your house, I'd have slept on the roof in the photo that you posted a while back. Mattress down- Ideal.
 

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Floyd1 said:
If I lived in your house, I'd have slept on the roof in the photo that you posted a while back. Mattress down- Ideal.
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Bit too much of a slope on it, I fear. I'd be constantly pinging off the bushes or ending up in the pond. (Not that I've tried, you understand...)
 
Trying not to think about the man in his pants on top of a car in Cromer, but there was similar weirdness in Hull yesterday - not sure alcohol was involved this time:

'A bungling arsonist who set fire to a car in the early hours of the morning ended up accidentally setting himself alight as well and desperately ran down the street in a blind panic trying to "jettison his clothes".
Rugby league team coach Joseph Higinbotham was left in just his boxer shorts and he later tried to bluff his way out of trouble at hospital by pretending that it was a "barbecue gone wrong".'

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-rugby-coach-set-himself-7471244
 
Bad Bungle said:
Trying not to think about the man in his pants on top of a car in Cromer, but there was similar weirdness in Hull yesterday - not sure alcohol was involved this time:

'A bungling arsonist who set fire to a car in the early hours of the morning ended up accidentally setting himself alight as well and desperately ran down the street in a blind panic trying to "jettison his clothes".
Rugby league team coach Joseph Higinbotham was left in just his boxer shorts and he later tried to bluff his way out of trouble at hospital by pretending that it was a "barbecue gone wrong".'

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-rugby-coach-set-himself-7471244
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Wonder if his excuse was to do with barbequing spare-ribs?
 
O dear. I recently disgraced myself whilst on a recent holiday in Portugal. All I need is a hanky on my head a pair of Union flag boxer shorts and I’ll fit the bill.

After a relatively boozy night out I fell down a full stretch of stone steps and had to b helped up to my feet by 2 or 3 local waiters – no real harm done but I did have a few bruises under the ribs a few days later.

If that wasn’t bad enough when we got back to the hotel at 3am I disappeared for over 2 hours. Mrs DT was beside herself with worry so alerted the hotel staff, who then went off into a mini search party for me.

They never found me, but I eventually emerged at 5am soaking we from head to toe, like I’d been swimming. The hotel pool was searched, but I wasn’t there, so God knows where I ended up.

Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimming while highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.

Still. I’ve learnt my lesson and certainly won’t be doing anything like that again in the future. :rcard:
 
Dick Turpin said:
O dear. I recently disgraced myself whilst on a recent holiday in Portugal. All I need is a hanky on my head a pair of Union flag boxer shorts and I’ll fit the bill.

After a relatively boozy night out I fell down a full stretch of stone steps and had to b helped up to my feet by 2 or 3 local waiters – no real harm done but I did have a few bruises under the ribs a few days later.

If that wasn’t bad enough when we got back to the hotel at 3am I disappeared for over 2 hours. Mrs DT was beside herself with worry so alerted the hotel staff, who then went off into a mini search party for me.

They never found me, but I eventually emerged at 5am soaking we from head to toe, like I’d been swimming. The hotel pool was searched, but I wasn’t there, so God knows where I ended up.

Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimming while highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.

Still. I’ve learnt my lesson and certainly won’t be doing anything like that again in the future. :rcard:
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Glad you're still with us.
 
Dick Turpin said:
O dear. I recently disgraced myself whilst on a recent holiday in Portugal. All I need is a hanky on my head a pair of Union flag boxer shorts and I’ll fit the bill.

After a relatively boozy night out I fell down a full stretch of stone steps and had to b helped up to my feet by 2 or 3 local waiters – no real harm done but I did have a few bruises under the ribs a few days later.

If that wasn’t bad enough when we got back to the hotel at 3am I disappeared for over 2 hours. Mrs DT was beside herself with worry so alerted the hotel staff, who then went off into a mini search party for me.

They never found me, but I eventually emerged at 5am soaking we from head to toe, like I’d been swimming. The hotel pool was searched, but I wasn’t there, so God knows where I ended up.

Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimming while highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.

Still. I’ve learnt my lesson and certainly won’t be doing anything like that again in the future. :rcard:
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Quite a night! Glad you survived your adventures!
 
Dick Turpin said:
Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimmingwhile highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.
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You eejit!!!

Glad you are still with us but I'm reminded of something slightly fortean that happened to me many years ago.

I suddenly awoke in the middle of the night hearing the phone ringing. I quickly realized it must have been a dream but I had a strong sense that my mother-in-law was trying to contact us with the news that her husband was gravely ill. It was very vivid and felt real.

In the morning she did indeed phone us but it was to tell us that my husbands cousin had drowned in the night. He was rather fond of his alcoholic beverages and was a rep for a beer company. After a boozy evening at a conference he'd ... well ended up in the hotel pool.

Just sayin' Take care x
 
I woke up early one morning while on a camping holiday in Caister, when I was about 20, and I was soaking wet from the waist down with no explanation.
The following day my buddies who I was camping with advised me that I had left the bar before them, and 20 minutes later when they got back to the tent I had managed to make it all the way back, unzipped the tentflaps and must have drunkenly passed out with my top half inside the tent but my legs outside. And it had been lashing it down with rain for a while. So they dragged me inside and placed me on my sleeping bag.
 
Dick Turpin said:
O dear. I recently disgraced myself whilst on a recent holiday in Portugal. All I need is a hanky on my head a pair of Union flag boxer shorts and I’ll fit the bill.

After a relatively boozy night out I fell down a full stretch of stone steps and had to b helped up to my feet by 2 or 3 local waiters – no real harm done but I did have a few bruises under the ribs a few days later.

If that wasn’t bad enough when we got back to the hotel at 3am I disappeared for over 2 hours. Mrs DT was beside herself with worry so alerted the hotel staff, who then went off into a mini search party for me.

They never found me, but I eventually emerged at 5am soaking we from head to toe, like I’d been swimming. The hotel pool was searched, but I wasn’t there, so God knows where I ended up.

Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimming while highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.

Still. I’ve learnt my lesson and certainly won’t be doing anything like that again in the future. :rcard:
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Clearly an abduction by aquatic aliens.
 
Trevp666 said:
I woke up early one morning while on a camping holiday in Caister, when I was about 20, and I was soaking wet from the waist down with no explanation.
The following day my buddies who I was camping with advised me that I had left the bar before them, and 20 minutes later when they got back to the tent I had managed to make it all the way back, unzipped the tentflaps and must have drunkenly passed out with my top half inside the tent but my legs outside. And it had been lashing it down with rain for a while. So they dragged me inside and placed me on my sleeping bag.
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Have you believed ever since then, that rain in Norfolk smells like wee?

maximus otter
 
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Dick Turpin said:
O dear. I recently disgraced myself whilst on a recent holiday in Portugal. All I need is a hanky on my head a pair of Union flag boxer shorts and I’ll fit the bill.

After a relatively boozy night out I fell down a full stretch of stone steps and had to b helped up to my feet by 2 or 3 local waiters – no real harm done but I did have a few bruises under the ribs a few days later.

If that wasn’t bad enough when we got back to the hotel at 3am I disappeared for over 2 hours. Mrs DT was beside herself with worry so alerted the hotel staff, who then went off into a mini search party for me.

They never found me, but I eventually emerged at 5am soaking we from head to toe, like I’d been swimming. The hotel pool was searched, but I wasn’t there, so God knows where I ended up.

Maybe this post should go under the lucky escapes thread, as swimming while highly intoxicated is very very dangerous.

Still. I’ve learnt my lesson and certainly won’t be doing anything like that again in the future. :rcard:
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I would be careful. This is a bit scary.

I have never forgotten the Bass player Will Sinnott from The Shamen, who died in 1991 (just after they finished filming the video for Move any Mountain - a new version of their prior release Pro-gen). He stayed on the beautiful Island for a holiday with his girlfriend and drowned.

I remember being so shocked, but also wondering what the exact circumstances were. The Shamen often talked about the use of drugs in interviews. It may have not been a factor in Will's death, he may have just got into trouble without the use of any substances, but it was an awful accidental death either way.

Incidentally, I wondered if The Shamen would continue, given that following Will's death the female singer decided to leave too. They did continue and had more success. I personally preferred the version of the Shamen they had before Will died though.

Deaths by drowning are all too common. In the UK there are often drownings during heatwaves - usually young people who go into water and get into difficulties. On holidays worldwide people don't always know which places are dangerous to swim and get into trouble too.

I wonder if you had a shower rather than went swimming?
 
maximus otter said:
Have you believed ever since then, that rain in Norfolk smells like wee?

maximus otter
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Blackpool smells of wee. It did the last time I was there because the drains were backed up because of the rain. But it stank of piss.
 
Trevp666 said:
I woke up early one morning while on a camping holiday in Caister, when I was about 20, and I was soaking wet from the waist down with no explanation.
The following day my buddies who I was camping with advised me that I had left the bar before them, and 20 minutes later when they got back to the tent I had managed to make it all the way back, unzipped the tentflaps and must have drunkenly passed out with my top half inside the tent but my legs outside. And it had been lashing it down with rain for a while. So they dragged me inside and placed me on my sleeping bag.
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So did you have a good time??
 
Ronnie Jersey said:
So did you have a good time??
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Well it was over 30 years and it was a rather drunken affair +.
So my memory is not pin-sharp of the whole affair, but IIRC it was quite a fun time we had.
The campsite cafe did a sort of 'steakwich' thing which was nice.
We took a whole load of cheap 'booze cruise' lagers that had been bought on a trip to Calais by my friend.
The tent was massive - once fully erected it was big enough to stand up fully inside, with 4 separate compartments plus a 'lounge' area!
 
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