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Funny And/Or Weird Happenings Whilst Drunk (Stoned; Tripping; Etc.)

Floyd1 said:
Quite normal for Crewe. - A friend of mine and his friends went out in Crewe one night after eating some mushrooms. They were in a pub and just as they were starting to kick in, a rabbit, tortoise and Maid Marion suddenly appeared to them. It was just some people in fancy dress collecting for their own pockets charity of course, but I can imagine they nearly crapped themselves.
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Very normal for the times I visited Crewe in early 90s. Especially the Brunswick Pub
 
bobandterry said:
Very normal for the times I visited Crewe in early 90s. Especially the Brunswick Pub
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Had some ace times in t'Brun. For some reason I'd play Haitian Divorce on the jukebox in there. Think I just loved the sound of it.
The Brun is now a couple of flats.
 
Floyd1 said:
Let's just say that Jenny sounds like my kind of girl.
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Swifty said:
The Mrs called someone a twat today if that counts in this thread's title. It made me laugh anyway but you probably had to be there. Her justification is "I don't like him!". (she was hungover)
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I endorse this message! Go The Missus!
 
Enjoying this thread, we should all meet up and get pissed/high/stoned. I propose we all share our coordinates and meet in the exact midpoint, regardless of suitability.

I can't get drunk on the levels described in some of these posts or in the video Trev shared, I just seem to have a natural "off" switch and stop, it's more instinct than rational decision and I'm very grateful for it. Drinking pints helps, the high liquid volume/relatively low ABV slows everything down. Pubs/bars/venues also help: you are limited by budget and how much you can be bothered to get another drink. Parties and other informal type gatherings where spirits are freely available. People always pour too much spirit, even when sober and of course judgement goes downhill with each drink...
 
Ogdred Weary said:
I propose we all share our coordinates and meet in the exact midpoint, regardless of suitability.
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Yeah great idea but not thought through properly. We have members currently residing in places like Korea, Australia, and the US.
It would probably mean the mid-point being some radioactive atoll in the pacific somewhere.
 
One I always though was funny back in the 1990s I was irresponsible and would take a trip so to speak and in the dead of night would wander home with my mates through Dublin via Grangegorman which was still a mental institution at that time but is now part of a college. As we made our way up towards "the gorman" I noticed the Union Jacks on the lampposts and the spotlights or searchlights and there in the road was an RUC landrover and a number of uniformed RUC officers. It took us a few minutes to realise we had not been transported to Belfast but had stumbled into the middle of a film set. We were ushered up the road and away but I always thought it was a funny thing to stumble into at 2am.
 
It was about 15 years ago or so, Mr. R and I were down at the Jersey Shore, where there was a small ancient boardwalk. He likes to fish out on the pier and I was under the trees sunbathing.
We always arrive way early in the morning, so the boardwalk bathrooms are mostly not yet open, I had my coffee and had to use the Ladies' Room, and had to find one on the boardwalk. For some reason, there was a crowd that morning that I was trying to get through. There I was, in my finest tie dye t shirt, bandana covering my long hair, fringed leather bag, fighting to get through this ridiculous crowd of people to the bathroom at the end of the boardwalk, when suddenly I heard a woman's voice scream, 'CUT!'
Turned out I had been obliviously walking through a movie set scene! LOLOL
I was told that it was an Annette Bening movie, have no idea which one.
And I wasn't even drunk or stoned!
 
Another day at the same Jersey Shore fishing pier, I was wearing a new t shirt Mr. R had just bought me, and it was a cool day so I had my denim jacket on as well.
I had fallen asleep under the trees and woke to find a bee buzzing in my hair. Ate my lunch and felt something crawling up my back, so I decided to run to the nearest Ladies' Room to check it out.
Well when I got there, a troop of Girl Scouts was on line with their leader, so it was going to be a long wait with only 2 stalls open.
Now I was starting to panic with this thing running up my back, so I asked one of the troop leaders if I could please jump the line, that I couldn't wait. She was nice enough to let me, and I ran in a stall and ripped off my denim jacket and then the t shirt - which I dropped on the floor because there was a huge green hairy caterpillar thing on my shirt.
I panicked and screamed for 'Help!' and put on my denim jacket before I could open the stall door, hoping that one of these women would help me. But when I opened the door, they had all taken off.
LOL - I guess they thought I was a complete lunatic and made a run for it!
 
Years ago after a late afternoon/early evening pub crawl with a friend we decide to have a meal at a fairly posh and busy Italian restaurant. First of all we ordered two beers whilst perusing the posh menu that we were too drunk to read. My mate when supping his beer decided for some bizarre reason to loudly slurp it like a kid would. I said to him to just stop as people were looking at us. He just carried on slurping away. Then the fit of giggles hit me and then I decided to join in making slurping noises while drinking. Then we were both in hysterics and each time either of us loudly slurped at our beer, it just made the hysterics worse. At one point I remember being hardly able to breathe.

The waiter came over and simply and abruptly said in a thick heavy 'I mean business' Italian accent to STOP. So we sat there like scolded children trying not to laugh and he said to order your food or get out. Then he held out both hands palms down and did the 'now calm down' type gesture.

We ordered a soup starter. God knows what mine was because because the writing wouldn't stay still long enough for me to read what the waiter was pointing at. I just pointed at something and said that one please. When the soups arrived my mate very poshly and very loudly said 'excuse me waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup'. That was it. I was now in open uncontrollable hysterics. The waiter said to finish our soups, pay, and then leave.

In between the occasional slurping from the spoon and bouts of yet more hysterics we finished our soups. Well I didn't quite finish mine. What ever was, it nearly blew my head off. I think extra chilly may have been added. All I said to my mate was should I ask for a doggie bowl and he erupted in howls of laughter. Strangely enough, the waiter didn't come over and tell us to leave so we finished our beers with more than few more slurping noises and more outbreaks of supressed hysteria.

While drinking our beers I decided to have a mint from the little bowl that was full of them. Quite a few places do that. Quite what the mints are for, dunno. Somehow, and intoxication may have had something to do with it, I half dropped them and most of the mints fell onto the white tiled floor and bounced like hail does in a hail storm. They went every where like white ball bearings. The rest of the mints, we rolled them across the floor when no one was looking. We sat there finishing our beers sniggering uncontrolably while watching the waiters walking about serving people and without knowing it either kicking these mints around or stepping on them with a loud crunching sound. These mints were camouflaged and were hard to see but we certainly heard them.

I don't know if any on here have done this. When a kid a school when the teachers back was turned I'd often get my wooden ruler and hold one end on the desk and and 'twang' the other end. The ruler would make a sort of 'b - boing' noise. Very funny when you're a kid. We did that with the knives on the table. All I remember is sitting there with my elbows on my knees and my hands holding my head and crying with laughter.

This restaurant was packed full of people.

Before we had finished our beers the waiter came over and said now you pay and leave and pay a tip for the mess you've made. I asked in a very sensible and polite way if we could have a few more mints to go as the bowl was empty. The waiter just pointed at the till.

Anyway, while staggering to the till area I crunched a mint and in hysterics and with tears streaming from our eyes we paid and left a hefty tip. I think, if I remember correctly, it was £25 or maybe even £50 which in the 90's was a serious tip. We were both then earning very good money.

The waiter sort of escorted us sobbing with laughter to the door and outside and said to have a good evening.

What was odd he was smiling whereas inside he was stern and strict. Drunk though we were my mate said why the smile? He said words to the effect of we had brightened up a dull evening of them doing the same thing they all do every night and thanks for the over generous tip. We weren't trouble, like many drunks are, just drunk and funny. I said about all the mints all over the floor and he said not to worry, the whole event, it was the funniest thing he'd seen in years and most customers were smiling and some were even laughing. Or something like that. As we staggered off, he waved god bye.

The next day, oh what a hang over. I spent the day in bed. What ever anyone says, there is no cure except not to drink in the first place.
 
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Short story from my brother-in-law who was at a London Poly in the '80s:

A quiet and demure young lady working behind the SU Bar, once confided in a fantasy about having 'romance' with five Gentlemen all at the same time - (you can work out the logistics). As the evening wore on, five patrons were easily persuaded (alcohol may have been involved) to escort her home.
Next morning she skipped in bright as a daisy, all smiles. But interestingly, none of the blokes could meet each other in the eye.
 
My weird one happened around late 1991 or early 1992. I was a student living in halls of residence.

I went to a "party" at someone's house in town and ended up having to make an exit. This person was behaving weirdly and giving me paranoia so I left alone. I had to walk through town in a very weird state and am sure I wasn't walking straight at all. I was trying not to appear in any way inebriated or vulnerable/scared. Walking "confidently" back to halls was the plan.

The town was empty. So far so good. Then I noticed a police van full of police. I had to walk past this van on my own, feeling very conspicuous, and hoping they would stay inside and let me just go on my way. Thankfully they did.

Eventually I got to the end of the high street and further on my journey back to halls. However this entailed a walk down the main road that took trafiic in and out of the area. Of course I felt relieved to have got to that road, but the ending of the walk could not come soon enough.

It was getting lighter and I felt very conspicuous indeed, as the only person out and about. I had this awful sense of being watched. Or even followed.....

Occasionally traffic was passing. It was almost rhythmic and fascinating to my ears. The sound was weird. Like it was going through an effects peddle....Was it traffic noise? It must have been some weird effect of the cars on the road/acoustics....but it was so....strange.

Maybe a driver would stop. What would they do? I felt vulnerable/scared......

I was feeling very freaked out. I couldn't walk any faster than I was in the state I was in.....

The road seemed to go on and on and on.....and the sense of being under threat was still there. Was ANYONE following me? Was any THING following me?

Finally I got to the vicinity of college, and the safety of my room in halls....but I had to walk further around the curve of the road to the central entrance gate which was open as always. If I could have climbed over the railings and taken a short cut I would have.

I got to the gate/entrance and started walking down the driveway. The college had lots of grass in front of the main building. I was definitely being followed. I could sense/see this blackness following me....Something really threatening moving towards me from behind me somewhere...I didn't need to look behind me to "see" it. I just could sense it was there. If I didn't get inside.... it would get me.

It was so eerily quiet.....

On the grass there were rabbits everywhere. EVERYWHERE. This was more than my head could deal with......

I could finally see the doorway I needed to get to. At this time of the morning all doors would be locked - but I had a key that opened this particular door.....

I had to get to the door as soon as I could. Before IT got me. I could sense it speeding up to catch up with me. Even the rabbits were freaking me out now too.

I managed to speed up a little to get to the door and find my keys. With urgency I struggled trying to get the key in the lock and.... dropped the keys. Scrabbling about I managed to get them in the lock, open the door jumped in and closed the door as quickly as possible so as not to let anything in....

The door sounded so loud as it shut/locked. I paused for a moment and looked out of the glass in the door. But suddenly I realised I was still not really safe until I was in my room and behind my locked door.

I walked through the corridoors, up the stairs and to my room. Once I was in there I finally was able to feel kind of safe.

But I still looked out the windows to check all was clear as I pulled the curtains....

I went to bed and I think I managed to wake myself up with a wheeze so I checked again out the window and in the cupboard......

But I was safe.

I never saw that place at that time of morning. I never saw rabbits on the grass any other time that I remember. It felt like something from a horror movie. Especially when I dropped the keys....

Years later I came on here and read accounts of a car with a male occupant being seen by other drivers - who appears and then disappears....

It made me wonder if I had channelled something that might cause fear as I walked down that road - some sort of aural/vibrational effect that might cause weird feelings/a sense of being followed (on top of the paranoia inducing person at the party etc).
 
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kesavaross said:
Years ago after a late afternoon/early evening pub crawl with a friend we decide to have a meal at a fairly posh and busy Italian restaurant. First of all we ordered two beers whilst perusing the posh menu that we were too drunk to read. My mate when supping his beer decided for some bizarre reason to loudly slurp it like a kid would. I said to him to just stop as people were looking at us. He just carried on slurping away. Then the fit of giggles hit me and then I decided to join in making slurping noises while drinking. Then we were both in hysterics and each time either of us loudly slurped at our beer, it just made the hysterics worse. At one point I remember being hardly able to breathe.

The waiter came over and simply and abruptly said in a thick heavy 'I mean business' Italian accent to STOP. So we sat there like scolded children trying not to laugh and he said to order your food or get out. Then he held out both hands palms down and did the 'now calm down' type gesture.

We ordered a soup starter. God knows what mine was because because the writing wouldn't stay still long enough for me to read what the waiter was pointing at. I just pointed at something and said that one please. When the soups arrived my mate very poshly and very loudly said 'excuse me waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup'. That was it. I was now in open uncontrollable hysterics. The waiter said to finish our soups, pay, and then leave.

In between the occasional slurping from the spoon and bouts of yet more hysterics we finished our soups. Well I didn't quite finish mine. What ever was, it nearly blew my head off. I think extra chilly may have been added. All I said to my mate was should I ask for a doggie bowl and he erupted in howls of laughter. Strangely enough, the waiter didn't come over and tell us to leave so we finished our beers with more than few more slurping noises and more outbreaks of supressed hysteria.

While drinking our beers I decided to have a mint from the little bowl that was full of them. Quite a few places do that. Quite what the mints are for, dunno. Somehow, and intoxication may have had something to do with it, I half dropped them and most of the mints fell onto the white tiled floor and bounced like hail does in a hail storm. They went every where like white ball bearings. The rest of the mints, we rolled them across the floor when no one was looking. We sat there finishing our beers sniggering uncontrolably while watching the waiters walking about serving people and without knowing it either kicking these mints around or stepping on them with a loud crunching sound. These mints were camouflaged and were hard to see but we certainly heard them.

I don't know if any on here have done this. When a kid a school when the teachers back was turned I'd often get my wooden ruler and hold one end on the desk and and 'twang' the other end. The ruler would make a sort of 'b - boing' noise. Very funny when you're a kid. We did that with the knives on the table. All I remember is sitting there with my elbows on my knees and my hands holding my head and crying with laughter.

This restaurant was packed full of people.

Before we had finished our beers the waiter came over and said now you pay and leave and pay a tip for the mess you've made. I asked in a very sensible and polite way if we could have a few more mints to go as the bowl was empty. The waiter just pointed at the till.

Anyway, while staggering to the till area I crunched a mint and in hysterics and with tears streaming from our eyes we paid and left a hefty tip. I think, if I remember correctly, it was £25 or maybe even £50 which in the 90's was a serious tip. We were both then earning very good money.

The waiter sort of escorted us sobbing with laughter to the door and outside and said to have a good evening.

What was odd he was smiling whereas inside he was stern and strict. Drunk though we were my mate said why the smile? He said words to the effect of we had brightened up a dull evening of them doing the same thing they all do every night and thanks for the over generous tip. We weren't trouble, like many drunks are, just drunk and funny. I said about all the mints all over the floor and he said not to worry, the whole event, it was the funniest thing he'd seen in years and most customers were smiling and some were even laughing. Or something like that. As we staggered off, he waved god bye.

The next day, oh what a hang over. I spent the day in bed. What ever anyone says, there is no cure except not to drink in the first place.
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Hysterics are brilliant. Awful if you have someone else with you who is able to trigger you again and again and pull a straight face when anyone else is in the vacinity...You are helpless, can't explain and noone understands what you are laughing at.... :hahazebs:
 
Earthly oddity said:
My weird one happened around late 1991 or early 1992. I was a student living in halls of residence.

I went to a "party" at someone's house in town and ended up having to make an exit. This person was behaving weirdly and giving me paranoia so I left alone. I had to walk through town in a very weird state and am sure I wasn't walking straight at all. I was trying not to appear in any way inebriated or vulnerable/scared. Walking "confidently" back to halls was the plan.

The town was empty. So far so good. Then I noticed a police van full of police. I had to walk past this van on my own, feeling very conspicuous, and hoping they would stay inside and let me just go on my way. Thankfully they did.

Eventually I got to the end of the high street and further on my journey back to halls. However this entailed a walk down the main road that took trafiic in and out of the area. Of course I felt relieved to have got to that road, but the ending of the walk could not come soon enough.

It was getting lighter and I felt very conspicuous indeed, as the only person out and about. I had this awful sense of being watched. Or even followed.....

Occasionally traffic was passing. It was almost rhythmic and fascinating to my ears. The sound was weird. Like it was going through an effects peddle....Was it traffic noise? It must have been some weird effect of the cars on the road/acoustics....but it was so....strange.

Maybe a driver would stop. What would they do? I felt vulnerable/scared......

I was feeling very freaked out. I couldn't walk any faster than I was in the state I was in.....

The road seemed to go on and on and on.....and the sense of being under threat was still there. Was ANYONE following me? Was any THING following me?

Finally I got to the vicinity of college, and the safety of my room in halls....but I had to walk further around the curve of the road to the central entrance gate which was open as always. If I could have climbed over the railings and taken a short cut I would have.

I got to the gate/entrance and started walking down the driveway. The college had lots of grass in front of the main building. I was definitely being followed. I could sense/see this blackness following me....Something really threatening moving towards me from behind me somewhere...I didn't need to look behind me to "see" it. I just could sense it was there. If I didn't get inside.... it would get me.

It was so eerily quiet.....

On the grass there were rabbits everywhere. EVERYWHERE. This was more than my head could deal with......

I could finally see the doorway I needed to get to. At this time of the morning all doors would be locked - but I had a key that opened this particular door.....

I had to get to the door as soon as I could. Before IT got me. I could sense it speeding up to catch up with me. Even the rabbits were freaking me out now too.

I managed to speed up a little to get to the door and find my keys. With urgency I struggled trying to get the key in the lock and.... dropped the keys. Scrabbling about I managed to get them in the lock, open the door jumped in and closed the door as quickly as possible so as not to let anything in....

The door sounded so loud as it shut/locked. I paused for a moment and looked out of the glass in the door. But suddenly I realised I was still not really safe until I was in my room and behind my locked door.

I walked through the corridoors, up the stairs and to my room. Once I was in there I finally was able to feel kind of safe.

But I still looked out the windows to check all was clear as I pulled the curtains....

I went to bed and I think I managed to wake myself up with a wheeze so I checked again out the window and in the cupboard......

But I was safe.

I never saw that place at that time of morning. I never saw rabbits on the grass any other time that I remember. It felt like something from a horror movie. Especially when I dropped the keys....

Years later I came on here and read accounts of a car with a male occupant being seen by other drivers - who appears and then disappears....

It made me wonder if I had channelled something that might cause fear as I walked down that road - some sort of aural/vibrational effect that might cause weird feelings/a sense of being followed (on top of the paranoia inducing person at the party etc).
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Sounds like someone put something in your drink.
 
Mythopoeika said:
Sounds like someone put something in your drink.
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I would have been drunk and smoked a bit too at the time....but anything is possible. I had my drink spiked on an earlier occasion in 1991. I was young, very niaeve and made some bad choices of aquaintances.....
 
I was on holiday in Cornwall (near Tintagel) with a mate when I first tried some cannabis resin, in the long hot summer of 1976. Didn't get on with it as I had to initially take up smoking and I still find anything herbal makes me gag. Next day I was walking out of town with a thick head and mild paranoia and had to cross a wide and busy junction with fast coastal traffic. I waited my moment and then tentatively crossed, looking left then right then left then right - for what seemed like 20 seconds. Neglected to look straight ahead.
Forward perambulatory motion ceased when sprawled over the bonnet of a Police car, waiting at the far-side junction to observe the slow progress of a long-haired 16 year old swivel-head making a bee-line for them. I don't think I had my face pressed against the windscreen wipers but certainly close enough to observe (and vaguely recognise) one of the Officers rolling his eyes as I gracefully slid off, tugging my fore-lock in contrition.

A couple of weeks later, as it 'appens, the same Policeman was the talk-of-the-Town for running off with the local Hairdresser's wife.
 
Just to add - I double checked what had been seen nearish where I had my weird-out and it was a lilac/purple wisp fluttering across the road (female) rather than a car with a male occupant (the car/occupant was another story in the same article).....

I think I would have rather seen the lilac wisp than the black shadowy/cloudy thing I felt......

And I love rabbits. It was just the number of them. I have never seen so many. Part of me felt bad that they made me feel so freaked-out, but they did....:oops:
 
This Bolivian man got really drunk at a traditional Mother Earth festival. The next thing he knows he has to get up and go pee. He claims this was a problem because he was in a coffin that had already been covered in dirt. He thinks he almost became one of the human sacrifices still rumored to occur during the festival.
Man woke up to go for a pee to find he was in a coffin ‘and had been sacrificed’

Terrified Víctor Hugo Mica Alvarez, 30, smashed out of the casket in Achacachi about 50 miles from where he passed out in the city of El Alto, Bolivia.

He’d been drinking heavily the night before, at the opening of the Mother Earth festival – where indigenous people offer everything from live animals and sheep foetuses to sweets and coca leaves for the goddess, who they believe ‘opens her mouth’ for offerings in August.

Victor claims he was among the human sacrifices some fear are still offered in ancient-style rituals to satisfy her.

He told local media, while covered in mud and concrete, after his apparent escape: ‘Last night was the pre-entry [of the festival], we went dancing. And afterwards I don’t remember.

‘The only thing I remember is that I thought I was in my bed, I wanted to get up to go urinate and I couldn’t move.

‘When I pushed the coffin, I was able to break a glass that it had and that way I was able to get out.

‘When I pushed the coffin I barely broke the glass and, through the glass, dirt began to enter. They wanted to use me as a sullu.’ ...

When Victor reported his burial to police they refused to believe him – saying he was too drunk to know why he ended up buried alive.

He added: ‘We’ve gone dancing… and I don’t remember anymore.

‘I have broken the glass, my whole hand has been hurt, I have barely gone out, but I went to the police and they told me that I am drunk.

‘“You’re going to come healthy,” they told me.’

The term sullu refers to any offerings commonly made to give back to Mother Earth, or ‘Pachamama’, throughout August in Bolivia.
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FULL STORY: https://metro.co.uk/2022/08/11/man-...e-was-buried-alive-while-passed-out-17168736/
 
I just posted this over on the 'Strange Coincidences' thread, but I guess it really belongs here.
When I was young and single, my girlfriends and I were out till all hours. The pubs in my town closed at 2:00 a.m., and one of my friends lived in a nearby town where they stayed open till 3:00 a.m., so she would run to the ATM on her way home to get out more money and stop in one more pub.
She was forever forgetting her ATM card in the machine there (in her condition), but the best one was when she forgot her pin number, and after 3 tries the ATM took her card and wouldn't give it back -
Well, she had to get to the bank in the morning when they opened to get it.
I don't think she ever did that again. :)
 
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