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Minor Strangeness (IHTM)

Ronnie Jersey

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Nov 22, 2021
Messages
2,499
We are quite a big supermarket and we have eight self checkouts.

And only me watching them...
Oh dear, I don't think I could handle that! :)
And those machines never stop talking,
'Please scan your store card'
'Please scan your next item'
'Do you wish to continue'
'Please take your receipt'
'Please take your bags'
'Your change is below'
'Don't forget your receipt'
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
The Potato Bandit Strikes Again!
In a shocking turn of events, The Daily News has discovered *another* potato left on the doorknob of the ever-humble regular person and definitely-not-a-potato-himself, MercuryCrest. There are no further reports incoming at this time as this average citizen seems too concerned to voice his opinion on the matter, but we can be sure, The Potato Bandit (TM) will strike again. Is NO ONE safe?

Speaking on condition of anonymity, which is pointless because he's a known poster on this forum, Merc's Person X's first remarks were "Why and wherefrom?" followed by, "I'm not cooking with *that*."

The police have not been contacted, as they have better things to do, but we'll keep at this story all night because...well, we *don't* have better things to do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seriously, though, I did come home to find yet another potato, this time resting on my doorknob. WTF?

Edit: I know I'm being "pranked" or someat, and that's just fine. Mayhap it's a new TikTok thingy or whatnot. It's kinda fun and cute and I'll roll with this as long as the potatoes keep coming in.
Don't knock it. A potato is a meal. :bthumbup:

I once found a stray spud in our front room. Must've escaped from the shopping bag.
I cooked and ate it for tea, with some fava beans and a nice cup o'Yorkshire.
 

MercuryCrest

The Severed Head of a Great Old One.
Staff member
Joined
Mar 24, 2003
Messages
1,976
There are a number of ways in which burglars etc determine the presence of people in a house.
Meh. This is a small apartment building with security doors. I'm not so much worried about that.

It's still damned odd, though.

Edit: I was home when the first potato arrived, and had I not thought to check with the one set of neighbors, it would have stayed there for many hours before I left again. Had someone who thought to break in actually done it, they might have met a nasty surprise. (Said nasty surprise would be a naked old dude chasing after them with a machete screaming something about the Athenians.)
 
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IbisNibs

Exotic animal, sort of . . .
Joined
Oct 30, 2016
Messages
2,754
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Outside my comfort zone.
I took a picture of that roof (from the back) and the dead bit of hedge yesterday.
Do you think the people who live there have any inkling there is an extensive and highly detailed discussion about their house in progress here? And it's a pretty nonjudgmental and rational discussion too!
 

PeteS

Seeking refuge
Joined
Dec 5, 2016
Messages
2,936
Oh dear, I don't think I could handle that! :)
And those machines never stop talking,
'Please scan your store card'
'Please scan your next item'
'Do you wish to continue'
'Please take your receipt'
'Please take your bags'
'Your change is below'
'Don't forget your receipt'
Ha - on the one occasion I was forced to use one of those infernal machines, I kept responding to those mechanical requests with "OK" "yes I'll do that" etc, much to the amusement of the lady behind me in the queue and the embarrassment of MsP. Worked a treat though and never had to use one since.
 

catseye

Old lady trouser-smell with yesterday's knickers
Joined
Feb 1, 2010
Messages
6,339
Location
York
Ha - on the one occasion I was forced to use one of those infernal machines, I kept responding to those mechanical requests with "OK" "yes I'll do that" etc, much to the amusement of the lady behind me in the queue and the embarrassment of MsP. Worked a treat though and never had to use one since.
I hear those things in my sleep!

Am campaigning to get the voice replaced by Stephen Fry. If I'm going to be driven mad by 'please scan your card', 'please scan your card or touch the screen to start', 'please scan your card' - then it may as well be dulcet tones, not the rather strident lady who currently voices them.
 

Trevp666

Don't blame me - I didn't cook it.
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
10,318
Location
Flitwick, Bedfordshire, 1874
My satnav on t'phone - the voice on that changed itself a few weeks back to....er....I'm not sure what.
It was supposed to be 'English UK Male' but the masculinity now appears to have been removed. For some reason.
So I have now switched it to 'Australian Female'.
Much more fun now on a new journey when the next direction it gives sounds more like a question (with a rising intonation at the end).
"At the roundabout take the third exit?"

Maybe I will, maybe I wont....
 

Floyd1

Antediluvian
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
5,240
My satnav on t'phone - the voice on that changed itself a few weeks back to....er....I'm not sure what.
It was supposed to be 'English UK Male' but the masculinity now appears to have been removed. For some reason.
So I have now switched it to 'Australian Female'.
Much more fun now on a new journey when the next direction it gives sounds more like a question (with a rising intonation at the end).
"At the roundabout take the third exit?"

Maybe I will, maybe I wont....
I've just upgraded. Get yourself one of these and you won't regret it;
AZ.jpg
 

Ronnie Jersey

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Nov 22, 2021
Messages
2,499
Ha - on the one occasion I was forced to use one of those infernal machines, I kept responding to those mechanical requests with "OK" "yes I'll do that" etc, much to the amusement of the lady behind me in the queue and the embarrassment of MsP. Worked a treat though and never had to use one since.
My replies are not quite as nice:
"Hold your pants on"
"I'm doing it!"
"OMG you f'ing machine!"

And when all my bags are removed, the idiot machine spouts, 'Thank you for shopping at --------", whereupon I find it hard not to tell it to go f--- itself! :)
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
I've just upgraded. Get yourself one of these and you won't regret it;
View attachment 64407
Thing with those (and Satnavs of course if you're lost or the signal temporarily goes off) is that you need a reliable compass too.

I love maps and A-Zs and often pick them up secondhand. They are dirt cheap these days.

One of my favourite A-Z purchases was a 1960s Manchester one. It had not only all the addresses associated with the famous Moors Murders cases, mostly now demolished, but even more interestingly, the name and details of the previous owner.

It belonged to a Police Constable who had neatly marked out boundaries on some pages. These might have been his beats or areas of interest, I dunno, but it served him well as underneath where he'd written 'PC (Whoever)' he'd later added some much higher rank.

He may not have been in post at the time of the Moors Murders but if not, it was a close-run thing as some of the houses I mentioned were already knocked down before the trial.
One detective is reported as raging about the council knocking down one relevant home just to spite the police. :chuckle:
 

catseye

Old lady trouser-smell with yesterday's knickers
Joined
Feb 1, 2010
Messages
6,339
Location
York
I drove all the way to Orkney (from Yorkshire), round Mainland and then back last May, using only paper maps.

Mostly because my navigator doesn't understand Sat navs, can't use a mobile phone and is much better off just tracing a route in a book. And yes, it's a human, not the dog. But we made it, with only one wrong turn in the entire journey.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
I drove all the way to Orkney (from Yorkshire), round Mainland and then back last May, using only paper maps.

Mostly because my navigator doesn't understand Sat navs, can't use a mobile phone and is much better off just tracing a route in a book. And yes, it's a human, not the dog. But we made it, with only one wrong turn in the entire journey.
There were many ad hoc navigation method, pre-satnavs. I've heard of a driver writing out turn-by-turn instructions on Post-It notes and sticking the pad to the middle of the steering wheel!

My way was to write down the roads to take and whether to move left or right onto the next one, and watch out for the town and city signs.
 

catseye

Old lady trouser-smell with yesterday's knickers
Joined
Feb 1, 2010
Messages
6,339
Location
York
There were many ad hoc navigation method, pre-satnavs. I've heard of a driver writing out turn-by-turn instructions on Post-It notes and sticking the pad to the middle of the steering wheel!

My way was to write down the roads to take and whether to move left or right onto the next one, and watch out for the town and city signs.
Also, because we were mostly on main roads and heading in one direction, it was fairly simple. Very few roundabouts to negotiate where 'getting into lane' was important.

I've always preferred paper maps. Sat navs lead many people into trouble round here, down very narrow lanes and farm tracks.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
Also, because we were mostly on main roads and heading in one direction, it was fairly simple. Very few roundabouts to negotiate where 'getting into lane' was important.

I've always preferred paper maps. Sat navs lead many people into trouble round here, down very narrow lanes and farm tracks.
Me, I adore satnavs but you do need a spot of commonsense. Some satnavs indicate a left turn on the approach to a motorway junction near'ere and the owners of the private drive there have put up a snotty notice about it. :chuckle:

Trouble is, you can't always get a detailed enough map for an area you don't know so you're stuck with Mrs Recalculating.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
I think most burglars would just ring the bell. No answer - go in hard.
I'm not sure many burglars make an 'appointment' with or without potatoes. Besides - what if everyone used the back door? They may confidently jemmy the window, safe in the knowledge that the pre-placed potato was still firmly in situ, only to find that fifteen thugs and their associated rotweilers had all gained ingress round the back.
We had a knock at the door yesterday from a woman who said her satnav had brought her to our place. The actual address is round the corner. I did wonder!
 

Floyd1

Antediluvian
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
5,240
I drove all the way to Orkney (from Yorkshire), round Mainland and then back last May, using only paper maps.

Mostly because my navigator doesn't understand Sat navs, can't use a mobile phone and is much better off just tracing a route in a book. And yes, it's a human, not the dog. But we made it, with only one wrong turn in the entire journey.
Old school- I like it. (Although reading the book/maps while having a brew and talking on the phone is not recommended).
I once navigated Leeds with a black and white A-Z that was ten years out of date......
 

Floyd1

Antediluvian
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
5,240
Trouble is, you can't always get a detailed enough map for an area you don't know so you're stuck with Mrs Recalculating.
What was wrong with the old tried and tested method- get as close as you can to the city/town/village you need, find someone who doesn't look too deranged, roll down the window and shout ''Oi pal! How do I get to the factory/garage/orchard/school/Mrs Miggins pie shoppe......?
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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Sep 18, 2001
Messages
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Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
What was wrong with the old tried and tested method- get as close as you can to the city/town/village you need, find someone who doesn't look too deranged, roll down the window and shout ''Oi pal! How do I get to the factory/garage/orchard/school/Mrs Miggins pie shoppe......?
That method would often get a non-useful reply.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
39,697
Location
HM The Tower of London
What was wrong with the old tried and tested method- get as close as you can to the city/town/village you need, find someone who doesn't look too deranged, roll down the window and shout ''Oi pal! How do I get to the factory/garage/orchard/school/Mrs Miggins pie shoppe......?
What? Men don't ask for directions. :chuckle:
 
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