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Odd & Ill-Advised Rectal Insertions

Somebody must have tried it.

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There were 1,502 attendances for ‘foreign body in rectum’.

Some 5,421 people attended due to a ‘foreign body in the vagina’.

This is even more surprising when you consider that rectums outnumber vaginas roughly two to one amongst the human population. Why don't we have an Odd & Ill-Advised Vaginal Insertions thread? We do have a Foreign Objects Lodged In The Genital / Urinary Organs thread, but that seems to be mostly penis-oriented. (At least that's what it looks like after cursory inspection; penile insertion stories give me the fantods.)