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Odd Sayings

KHammers said:
Well similar to that, a friend and I will use 'I want my sweater back' when we want to change the subject from a discussion going nowhere or we're just being silly. I think I started it after seeing some comedy routine about not having the argument the other person wants and starting your own.
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Yep - that's the sort of conversational context associated with the canonical throwaway phrases I described.

I've run into this sort of tactic many times over the years, but I've never again encountered a group, circle, etc., that consistently used a widely recognized set of specific phrases when doing it.
 
ok boys next time she says "does my bum look big in this?" i DARE you to say...... "the last time i saw an arse like that - it was pulling a plough" I did....... ONCE....... lol
 
When I was a kid back in the 60s a friend's mother would threaten him by saying "I'll give you Tokyo!" I assume that it was a reference to bombing Tokyo in WW2 but why not some other place? I'd just think "Why would I want Tokyo? I've nowhere to keep it."
 
Bigphoot2 said:
"I'll give you Tokyo!"
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I'd not heard that one. Maybe they would get flattened!

Liverpudlian kids would be given "Down the Banks," meaning a good tongue-lashing, rather than a thrashing.

Its origin is mysterious - some say it may be of Irish origin. :confused:
 
plastic wiganer said:
ok boys next time she says "does my bum look big in this?" i DARE you to say...... "the last time i saw an arse like that - it was pulling a plough" I did....... ONCE....... lol
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I know what you mean ... My then-wife once asked, "Does this make my butt look bigger?" one too many times, at which point I finally snapped and replied:

"No - your butt looks the same, but those pants are stretched 'way out of proportion."

... And yes, I spent some time 'in the doghouse' thereafter ...
 
JamesWhitehead said:
I'd not heard that one. Maybe they would get flattened!

Liverpudlian kids would be given "Down the Banks," meaning a good tongue-lashing, rather than a thrashing.

Its origin is mysterious - some say it may be of Irish origin. :confused:
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His mum also turned into Yoda when she was angry with him. Instead of "Come here you!" it'd be "Come you here!"
 
Here are some basic rules for a response to 'does my bum look big...' questioning:
If the question is asked and the bum does look big, say 'it looks great'.
If the question is asked and the bum does not look big, say 'it looks fine'.
It's just the truth. :D
 
Mythopoeika said:
Here are some basic rules for a response to 'does my bum look big...' questioning:
If the question is asked and the bum does look big, say 'it looks great'.
If the question is asked and the bum does not look big, say 'it looks fine'.
It's just the truth. :D
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I just say "Hello cheeky!" or " Corr .. she's got no pants on!" when the Mrs is scuttling about in the nuddy :) .. it works for us ..
 
Swifty said:
I just say "Hello cheeky!" or " Corr .. she's got no pants on!" when the Mrs is scuttling about in the nuddy :) .. it works for us ..
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My stock answer is now "This is a trap isn't it?"
 
My personal favourites are:

An argumentative person: 'He could start a fight in a phonebox'
For something utterly useless: 'As much use as a cock flavoured lollipop'

And my all time favourite, for somebody who is beyond stupid: 'he would struggle to find his arse with both hands and a map'
 
Wotan Mjolnir said:
... And my all time favourite, for somebody who is beyond stupid: 'he would struggle to find his arse with both hands and a map'
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I'm fond of a thematically related line used by a local FM rock station as an interstitial spot gag between songs:

"It doesn't matter whether one hand knows what the other hand is doing if you can't find your ass with either one."
 
He couldn't tell you the time in a room full of clocks.
He's got a head full of dominoes and they are all double blanks.
If brains were chocolate he couldn't fill a Smartie.
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow the hinges off a budgie's cage.
 
OneWingedBird said:
I tend to prefer 'trying to nail diarrhea to the wall' when speaking.

Prefer it less when typing as I always have to look up how to spell that word.
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I was once officially trained how to spell it through my work in the care industry on a training day .. because everyone couldn't spell it ... it's:
Doesn't
It
Always
Run
Really
Horribly
Over
Each
Ankle

Diarrhoea ! :) .. (we had to be able to spell it correctly in our paperwork)
 
Quite a lot of my older relatives use glaikit and I worked with someone who was called The Fart in a Trance :)
 
There's aye an affy clamjafry o' glaikit ginks stravaigin aboot ahint ma hoose in thi wee smaa oors o' the mornin.

Shugglin the snecks o' honest buddies doors, an' ge'in them a fleg. Shufflin aroon, ha'an a bit draw on dubs made fae whacky baccy.

Iffn ah hid ma wey, a'd gie them a richt skelpn, an tae hell wi thi lot o them.
 
Mr_Nemo said:
A shilling short of a sixpence.
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That would then be a negative sixpence, since a shilling's a dozen pennies.

An inverse coin, which if added to a Christmas pudding, could create a black hole (and not in an eaten way)
 
..That would then be a negative sixpence, since a shilling's a dozen pennies. ..

It's a new term used by bankers to disguise negative interest.

INT21
 
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