Odd Sayings

Ermintruder

Delineated by a professional cryptozoologist
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
5,643
Likes
7,945
Points
284
It's a new term used by bankers to disguise negative interest.
Quantitative cheesing. Or, perhaps disinterest.

And two negative sixpennies would negate a shilling. Or 5 (old) New Pence.

But if we're talking real sixpences....my old Granny use to say my washed face was 'shiny like a sixpence up a sweeps bottom' . My Mother used to shush at her when she said such things, and make more noise in the cutlery drawer. But it was too late, the program had been downloaded.

Why is a well-presented person 'as smart as a carrot' ?
 

INT21

Antediluvian
Joined
Jul 18, 2016
Messages
7,627
Likes
6,268
Points
279
Ermintrude,

Is that a carrot that has been up a sweeps bottom ?

Got to admit I haven't heard that one.

I have heard of people who have ' the brain cells of a carrot'.

INT21
 

Ermintruder

Delineated by a professional cryptozoologist
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
5,643
Likes
7,945
Points
284
Got to admit I haven't heard that one.
Which, the "as smart as a carrot" or the sweep's suppository substitute shilling?

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smart+as+a+carrot&amp=true&defid=1753878

It appears I may be misquoting my late Granny's metaphorical use of sweep's arses

http://www.norridge.me.uk/norfolk/nfkmain/cloacal.htm
There, they are citing (siting and indeed sighting) the shilling upon the sweep's arse.

What say ye, the penalty I should suffer for this miscontruct? Flayed? Mildly braised? Surely not sixpenced? That would be a cruel and unnatural punishment....
 
Last edited:

Mungoman

Mostly harmless...
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
2,476
Likes
4,032
Points
169
Location
In the Bush (Peak Hill, NSW)
Which, the "as smart as a carrot" or the sweep's suppository substitute shilling?

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smart as a carrot&amp=true&defid=1753878

It appears I may be misquoting my late Granny's metaphorical use of sweep's arses

http://www.norridge.me.uk/norfolk/nfkmain/cloacal.htm
There, they are citing (siting and indeed sighting) the shilling upon the sweep's arse.

What say ye, the penalty I should suffer for this miscontruct? Flayed? Mildly braised? Surely not sixpenced? That would be a cruel and unnatural punishment....
Praised...for originality. ;)
 

Ermintruder

Delineated by a professional cryptozoologist
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
5,643
Likes
7,945
Points
284
Ok...Now I'm totally lost from my last post.
I do think your trumpet solo of "a shilling short of a sixpence" is, indubitably, an idiopathic idiom, an inadvertent inversion, yea, yet, an inspirational invention.

As a phrasal phase reversal it's a plausible impossible that, though philologically-illogical is a sound-sounding change of change (to coin a phrase clumsily).

We all knew what you meant when you said it. But, as can be the case when you're long-changed, there is definitely a derivative dividend.

One might use your novonumismatic nomenclature non-negatively (which, let's face it, is taking a positive slant on things) and use it to describe those high-functioning individuals who are querulously-quartered up in the question-able quartiles.

It also nearly sounds like a Le Carre title (I might even say Archer book, but there are limits in decent society). Don't you think? Drop that second alphabetical "a" and it becomes....
A Shilling Short of Sixpence ?

We all know it would just go straight to DVD if dramatised, and it'd be too low-brow for the BBC, but it would be more than good enough for a Sunday evening on the box, whilst you darned your socks and didn't walk the dog.

(ps AND well-done on having properly-interpreted the true meaning of this topic title.

Mr Fort was saying to me at the water cooler the other day, "you know, isn't it odd that we haven't had any properly-odd sayings in the Odd Sayings thread?" to which I said "oddly-enough I can only agree with you, as I strongly-suspect you are only either an internal projection of my internal narrative, or (perish the thought) a mere literary device". How we laughed...
 
Last edited:

Ermintruder

Delineated by a professional cryptozoologist
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
5,643
Likes
7,945
Points
284
seems to think it was originally sharp as
This is interesting. So what they're implying (yes) is, that this well-known, universal saying "as smart as a carrot" used to be....wait a minute..

I'm familiar with this phrase (very). But I'm going to leap to the conclusion that very-few other forum members are. In fact, I'll limp to the consultation. Hands-up everyone here on FTMB that's heard the saying "smart as a carrot"??

Sorry, I'll stop waving a gun at you all, and ask the question again. See?? That's a very small number (as Angus Armstrong would say).

And carrots not being sharp? I put it to you that there are few vegetables as easily and effectively weaponised as the unhumble carrot. Peeled and wielded with a will, by a vengeful vegan or a sacked chef, it's a veg that would certainly keep me deterred.

In fact, fired from cannons, mortars or field guns, the pointy projectile potential of a carrot would be significant.

ps isn't it odd that the KGB are trying to provide answers to British puzzles? Sounds like a latter-day overt attempt at infiltration http://www.kgbanswers.co.uk/where-does-the-phrase-smart-as-a-carrot-come-from/3390139
 
Joined
Jul 31, 2005
Messages
6,055
Likes
8,192
Points
294
Hands-up everyone here on FTMB that's heard the saying "smart as a carrot"??
Hands up

And carrots not being sharp? I put it to you that there are few vegetables as easily and effectively weaponised as the unhumble carrot.
But it's sarcasm. Like a chocolate fireguard/teapot or an ashtray on a motorbike. And as for vegetable weapons, you're forgetting the most lethal, the pome-granite or potato-grenade as it is known in the UK.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
27,137
Likes
36,087
Points
284
Hands up


But it's sarcasm. Like a chocolate fireguard/teapot or an ashtray on a motorbike. And as for vegetable weapons, you're forgetting the most lethal, the pome-granite or potato-grenade as it is known in the UK.
Alongside the chocolate fireguard, there was also "As useful as a turd in a punch bowl" .. I think that one might be American ?.
 

INT21

Antediluvian
Joined
Jul 18, 2016
Messages
7,627
Likes
6,268
Points
279
..
the pome-granite or potato-grenade as it is known in the UK.

Maybe grenade-ine ?

(Close to it's proper name.)

INT21
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
7,215
Likes
20,068
Points
294
Overheard in a pub recently - one customer commenting on a rather grumpy, bad-tempered barmaid
"If my dog looked like that I'd paint a face on its arse and teach it to walk backwards!"
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
29,181
Likes
14,881
Points
309
Alongside the chocolate fireguard, there was also "As useful as a turd in a punch bowl" .. I think that one might be American ?.
Robert Rankin used the phrase "About as welcome as a jobby in a swimming pool" in one of his books (I think it was Armageddon: The Musical). Then there's the more famous "About as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit", as used by Billy Connolly much to Angie Dickinson's amusement on a 70s episode of Parkinson.

I've heard "As sharp as a tack" but never "As sharp as a carrot".
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
15,519
Likes
19,709
Points
309
Location
Out of Bounds
Overheard in a pub recently - one customer commenting on a rather grumpy, bad-tempered barmaid
"If my dog looked like that I'd paint a face on its arse and teach it to walk backwards!"
I can attest to having heard that one at least as far back as the mid-1970's (in the southern USA).
 

Mungoman

Mostly harmless...
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
2,476
Likes
4,032
Points
169
Location
In the Bush (Peak Hill, NSW)
This is interesting. So what they're implying (yes) is, that this well-known, universal saying "as smart as a carrot" used to be....wait a minute..

I'm familiar with this phrase (very). But I'm going to leap to the conclusion that very-few other forum members are. In fact, I'll limp to the consultation. Hands-up everyone here on FTMB that's heard the saying "smart as a carrot"??

Sorry, I'll stop waving a gun at you all, and ask the question again. See?? That's a very small number (as Angus Armstrong would say).

And carrots not being sharp? I put it to you that there are few vegetables as easily and effectively weaponised as the unhumble carrot. Peeled and wielded with a will, by a vengeful vegan or a sacked chef, it's a veg that would certainly keep me deterred.

In fact, fired from cannons, mortars or field guns, the pointy projectile potential of a carrot would be significant.

ps isn't it odd that the KGB are trying to provide answers to British puzzles? Sounds like a latter-day overt attempt at infiltration http://www.kgbanswers.co.uk/where-does-the-phrase-smart-as-a-carrot-come-from/3390139
My mother [Midlands, Stoke on Trent] often used the expression 'as smart as paint', implying that the object in question stood out above others, as a freshly painted object in comparison to an object that was not freshly painted seemed dowdy, and rather plain - e.g. a Jack Russel terrier looked as sharp as paint, in comparison to any other terrier.

As for a carrot being sharp...or smart - It doesn't sound right somehow.

I reckon the difference in sayings can be put down to being regional variations.

I'm used to 'being poor as a church mouse', or 'crying poor', but in Bowral, NSW, I heard crying poor mouth, meaning that someone accused the other of a fox paw [sic], and the other blamed it on social circumstances that applied to themselves.

We're a weird mob...
 
Last edited:

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
27,137
Likes
36,087
Points
284
I've heard "She gossips like a fishmonger's wife" before but have no idea how that apparent slur came about? ..
 
Last edited:

JamesWhitehead

Piffle Prospector
Joined
Aug 2, 2001
Messages
12,814
Likes
10,817
Points
309
Fishwives were not necessarily married at all but sea-port and fish-market, labouring women who got a reputation for fighting, bad-language and rough behaviour. It's hard to say how deserved this was but I think fishwiving was something you did out of desperation not choice.

Some colourful details on this Wikipedia page!

It seems their reputation was not uniformly negative, some remarking on their industry and beauty!

Oh, they were also known as fish-fags! :rofl:
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
27,137
Likes
36,087
Points
284
Fishwives were not necessarily married at all but sea-port and fish-market, labouring women who got a reputation for fighting, bad-language and rough behaviour. It's hard to say how deserved this was but I think fishwiving was something you did out of desperation not choice.

Some colourful details on this Wikipedia page!

It seems their reputation was not uniformly negative, some remarking on their industry and beauty!

Oh, they were also known as fish-fags! :rofl:
Cheers for the info .. in the back of my mind were The Asterix comic books on this matter .. Unhygenix LOL ..

So these women had to sell the fish quickly and had to think on their feet and fight if needed .. fair enough ..
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
15,519
Likes
19,709
Points
309
Location
Out of Bounds
... 'As dark as a coal-miner's hole' ...
This reminds me of a related saying (southern USA; 1950's - 1960's):

'As dark (or black) as homemade sin.'

I never understood the 'homemade' part (which was consistently cited in my home region).

Later (in other regions) I encountered the similar 'Dark (or black) as original sin.'
 
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
6,017
Likes
5,250
Points
294
Location
Midwich
After a discussion over the weekend.

My own favoured usage for the announcement that one has to suspend current proceedings - whatever they may be - in order to go to the toilet, is - I'm just going to turn my bike round.

I'd kind of assumed that this was a universally understood phrase, but the group I was with over the weekend hadn't got a clue what I was on about; in fact I believe one female actually thought I really was leaving to tinker with a bicycle (but she was from the Home Counties - and everyone knows they don't really speak proper English down there).

So, is this used round anyone else's way?
 
Last edited:

Naughty_Felid

No longer interesting
Joined
Mar 11, 2008
Messages
6,319
Likes
7,277
Points
294
After a discussion over the weekend.

My own favoured usage for the announcement that one has to suspend current proceedings - whatever they may be - in order to go to the toilet, is - I'm just going to turn my bike round.

I'd kind of assumed that this was a universally understood phrase, but the group I was with over the weekend hadn't got a clue what I was on about; in fact I believe one female actually thought I really was leaving to tinker with a bicycle (but she was from the Home Counties - and everyone knows they don't really speak propor English down there).

So, is this used round anyone else's way?
never heard of that before
 
Top