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Out Of Place Crumpet

oweny29

oweny29

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Jul 16, 2004
Messages
94
Yesterday I found a toasted crumpet in my back garden. It just lay there in the middle of the lawn. At first I thought it was a mushroom or something, but then, as I approached, I saw it was a crumpet. I picked it up and examined it. It was perfectly toasted, and all in one piece. No bite was taken from it, and there was nothing spread upon it. Just a plain crumpet. In my back garden.

I have no idea how it got there.
 
ginoide said:
a bird dropped it?
Click to expand...

Two problems with that idea:

1. It was too big, I mean this crumpet was about the circumference of a large cup, and I'd imagine far too heavy for a bird to carry mid-air.

2. It was toasted. That means it was inside somebody's house, and the bird would have had to get inside that house, steal the crumpet, and fly off with it.
 
...or a dog dropped it, or a fox, or kids threw it there, or a neighhbour threw it out of a bedroom window (for some odd reason) and it landed there.

of perhaps it was a present from your garden faries as they think your malnourished :)
 
or maybe that's what the UFOs are. not flying saucers - flying crumpets. in which case, your backyard is now a Crash Site. expects visits from men in black.
 
ginoide said:
or maybe that's what the UFOs are. not flying saucers - flying crumpets. in which case, your backyard is now a Crash Site. expects visits from men in black.
Click to expand...

I like this theory. It would explain a lot !!! ;o)
 
Some people have the urge to Frisbee anything flat and round. They see something flat and round, and think, hmmm, Frisbee... and off it goes. Wheeeee. :D

Some people do this. Not me.
 
oweny29 said:
ginoide said:
a bird dropped it?
Click to expand...

Two problems with that idea:

1. It was too big, I mean this crumpet was about the circumference of a large cup, and I'd imagine far too heavy for a bird to carry mid-air.
Click to expand...
Gulls and crows are pretty big birds, and can carry quite a load aloft.
(Although why they didn't eat it is another question...)
 
I regularly get crumpet visiting my garden, too. :)
 
One wonders, is the crumpet buttered?


Emps knows a story about a buttered gnome. :D
 
A schoolboy peeks into his packed lunch on the way to school, discovers a crumpet, hates crumpets, and so gives it a toss a far as he can.
 
I was perhaps trying to read too much into your reply, OTR, but then I recalled that, you being American, 'giving a toss' perhaps doesn't have the overtones it has here...! :oops:
 
So far the topic has extended to crumpet, butter (or lack thereof) and tossing. What is going on here? Last tango in Suffolk ...?
 
zephyras1 said:
So far the topic has extended to crumpet, butter (or lack thereof) and tossing. What is going on here? Last tango in Suffolk ...?
Click to expand...
Like many threads here, it's sinking to gutter level, and below, as it attempts to find the Lowest Common Denominator! :twisted:
 
rynner said:
Like many threads here, it's sinking to gutter level, and below, as it attempts to find the Lowest Common Denominator! :twisted:
Click to expand...

"paging Escargot, paging Escargot. You are required in the "crumpet" thread."
 
rynner said:
I was perhaps trying to read too much into your reply, OTR, but then I recalled that, you being American, 'giving a toss' perhaps doesn't have the overtones it has here...! :oops:
Click to expand...

Now you have me too terrified to even ask.

* Is it safe to come out yet? *
 
eggs, pancakes and french toast

This reminds me of something that happened to me once.

My dad was building a house next door to mine - it's almost done now... but a few years ago, he lived on the other side of the country, and wasn't around more than a couple of weeks a year. One morning, when he wasn't around, I was walking my dog down his drive, and she (the dog) was excited about a pile of ....something.... up ahead. We got a little closer, and it was a little heap of breakfast foods. We were about 50 yards from the road, so it was strange to see. I yanked on her leash, and we walked along in the other direction - she really didn't need to eat another breakfast.

A day or so later, we were walking the same route, and there was another pile of breakfast scraps, this time a bit closer to my dad's house. Not the same one as the previous pile... stranger still. This was a vacant house, and it didn't have the kitchen facilities to make a good cup of coffee, much less a 3-course breakfast.

This happened again a couple more times. Each time, the pile of food was in a different place, but well up my dad's driveway, and getting closer to his house each time.

Completely non-Fortean explanation. (sob)...

I had a flock of guinea hens that were terrorizing the neighborhood. They were meant to control ticks on my and my dad's property. They had been spending time at the neighbor's house across the street. The neighbor owned a hotel that served breakfast, and he knew my dad had wanted guinea hens, so he was taking the leftovers from the hotel breakfast buffet and using them to lure the fowl to my dad's. He didn't know that they were mine to begin with... Those silly birds loved fake maple syrup.
 
Last night for my supper I had 4 crumpets with butter and a bit of salt, afterwards, feeling like a glutton, I wished I'd thrown one away, perhaps your experience was caused by a person with the will power to throw the 4th crumpet over the wall.
 
OldTimeRadio said:
rynner said:
I was perhaps trying to read too much into your reply, OTR, but then I recalled that, you being American, 'giving a toss' perhaps doesn't have the overtones it has here...! :oops:
Click to expand...

Now you have me too terrified to even ask.

* Is it safe to come out yet? *
Click to expand...
I suspect my mind was working on the same lines as Rynner's. Urban Dictionary might help explain the confusion over such a simple bit of the English language. Quite possibly NSFW or those of a delicate disposition.
 
*bursts in through door*

*brandishes pat of slightly warmed butter and spreading knife*

You called? :D
 
myf13 said:
OldTimeRadio said:
rynner said:
I was perhaps trying to read too much into your reply, OTR, but then I recalled that, you being American, 'giving a toss' perhaps doesn't have the overtones it has here...! :oops:
Click to expand...

Now you have me too terrified to even ask.

* Is it safe to come out yet? *
Click to expand...
I suspect my mind was working on the same lines as Rynner's. Urban Dictionary might help explain the confusion over such a simple bit of the English language. Quite possibly NSFW or those of a delicate disposition.
Click to expand...

WHOA!!!!! :shock:

You know, a nice English-to-American dictionary somewhere on this site would be good. I often wonder what the nice people in the U.K. are saying. And they, no doubt, wonder what language the Americans are speaking...
 
This reminds me of a time I looked out my back window, and saw my little doggie running back and forth underneath the giant mulberry tree, with her tail wagging, and her tongue hanging out. Then she jumped up and snapped something out of the air. I looked more closely and saw little bits of white fluttering down from various branches, and she ran back and forth catching and eating them.

I nearly broke my neck running outside, and found pieces of bread raining down from the branches. It stopped, upon my arrival, and the dog was very disappointed. I imagined that there were birds up there, eating bread, and dropping some, but as much as was trickling down from the tree there must have been a whole flock of them, and they must have had a whole loaf up there!

Manna from heaven? :)
 
Crumpets and thieving critters

Whilst (sort of) on the subject of thieving critters, a fox once stole my wife's boots.

From the tent, while we were both sleeping in it at the time.

He also lifted the boots of half a dozen other females camped in the same line: a dog fox with a shoe fetish! Gawd bless yer for that, Reynard!

Not to mention the wallaby...
 
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