The Everlasting Mystery Of Teaspoons

JamesWhitehead

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Were school nurses really examining boys’ undercarriage as a matter of routine back in the day?
It is actually essential to examine boys' parts, because undescended testicles can turn cancerous. Comedic use of the theme was very popular and associated with National Service humour; that may have been the first time some boys had been examined, prior to the NHS. Cue unexpected arrival of a female doctor and all associated hilarity. Cough! the reflex was meant to be felt in the region without the necessity of full exposure.

It was also customary, I gather, for the retraction of the prepuce to be checked in some cases.

I don't think either of these tasks was delegated to nurses. Nits, Weights, Heights and Athlete's Foot tended to be their remit. :nurse:
 
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LordRsmacker

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To my pride, or maybe shame, things never even got THAT far. Just the sight of me was pure anti-Viagra.
Ha, so you think. You do realise that there are possibly legions of men shuffling round our cities, trawling the newsagents' card ads, yearning to find a starchy martinet to give them that withering look again? It's the only thing that gets them to full sail. I'm sure this knowledge will make your day, YOU might be a bona fide Fetish. Erm, I mean "boner fide". No need to thank me, really...

I’ve never understood that particular trope. Were school nurses really examining boys’ undercarriage as a matter of routine back in the day? Because they certainly didn’t when I was at school, although rumours abounded to that affect.
Huh, I managed to miss that magical experience too, but it hasn't stopped me trying to re-create it, haha!
 

LordRsmacker

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It was also customary, I gather, for the retraction of the prepuce to be checked in some cases.
Holy shit, I read that in the disembodied voice of Jacob Rees-Mogg MP. I guess it's God's way of telling me to lay off the Patron Silver (not that I'll pay any attention)

I don't think either of these tasks was delegated to nurses. Nits, Weights, Heights and Athlete's Foot tended to be their remit. :nurse:
No, everyone knows it was done by Mad Lizzie, the PE teacher, assisted by those sixth form girls who went to THAT party where the Headmaster turned up and got his 12" throbbing pud out after someone spiked his Tizer with the scrapings from a dried banana skin. All overseen by a titanic-titted "Nurse" who, after doling out several "spoonings" to errant members, and personally weighing numerous nad-bags by hand, left the scene and was subsequently found out to be an imposter - one who has never been caught to this day despite, according to "that kid in the other class whose brother knows someone who swears it's TRUE", coming back to inflict yet more serious sexual assaults every single fucking year ever after.

Um, so I heard.
 

catseye

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Honestly, I start a post about my teaspoons, turn my back for a minute and you're all on about knobs and throbbing 12"ers.

I was going to post about my door furniture, but I know what you lot will turn it into... (wanders off muttering about what the world is coming to and the sullying of my innocent spoons and when you can't mention your knobs and knockers...).
 

catseye

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By all means tell us about your knockers.
I was having a lot of 'phantom knocking and rattling of my doorknob'. Bad enough to make the dog jump up and run to the window barking hysterically (I live in a very quiet village, not a lot of unannounced visitors). Turned out that when the wind was in a certain direction it would flap at my doorknocker and that would cause the handle to rattle simultaneously, as though someone was outside knocking and trying to come in.
 

IbisNibs

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Refugee from the news here, please bear with me:
my half used bunch of garlic has disappeared. I kept it on the window sill. There's screen, so it hasn't fallen out. I didn't absent mindedly put it in the refridgerator, trash, or cupboard. It has gone off with your spoons. If your missing socks ever show up with a rank smell, you know they have spent time with my garlic . . .
 

catseye

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Refugee from the news here, please bear with me:
my half used bunch of garlic has disappeared. I kept it on the window sill. There's screen, so it hasn't fallen out. I didn't absent mindedly put it in the refridgerator, trash, or cupboard. It has gone off with your spoons. If your missing socks ever show up with a rank smell, you know they have spent time with my garlic . . .
It will probably reappear in six weeks' time, with a friend...
 

Lb8535

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Refugee from the news here, please bear with me:
my half used bunch of garlic has disappeared. I kept it on the window sill. There's screen, so it hasn't fallen out. I didn't absent mindedly put it in the refridgerator, trash, or cupboard. It has gone off with your spoons. If your missing socks ever show up with a rank smell, you know they have spent time with my garlic . . .
I have had mice take a big chunk out of an onion. Maybe you have mice with good taste.
 

catseye

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Did anyone notice this post which took on an almost fortean nature with its semi invisible text half way through!? What even causes that? Ive never seen that before ??? Has the text ended up in the same dimension as the missing tea spoons?
Is it text that you have to highlight or roll over to make visible (sometimes used when someone is putting in a spoiler about a story)? That would seem to fit, in context.
 
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