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The World's Dumbest Criminals

Who would be stupid enough to go to Walmart with $1 million, fake or real?
 
Suspect in bizarre case behind bars in Hillsborough

CountyMonday, March 15th


What started out as a dispute over a pack of cigarettes inside a Chevron station east of Tampa quickly led to numerous criminal charges.

The whole incident was captured on security surveillance video cameras, which happened to be installed by the father of the suspect's girlfriend.

The first time 23-year-old Joseph Myers went inside the Chevron Sunday night, he asked station clerk Richard Tillman for a pack of cigarettes. But Tillman refused, because Myers' ID was cracked and torn up and he didn't look of age.

Investigators say 10 minutes after Myers left the gas station, he came back, charged the counter, threw eggs at Tillman and trashed the store's 0 register.

"I know he didn't like me, but I didn't think he would go to this extreme," said Tillman. "I saw him come through the door, but before I could get to the register, he was already there, throwing."

About 15 minutes after Myers fled on foot, investigators say he sent a fax to Tillman at the gas station, threatening him that "this is only the beginning."

Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies quickly traced the fax number, went to the address and arrested Myers.

Lt. Rod Reder says a short time later, Myers took off running with his hands cuffed behind his back.

"He took off, actually burst through a house door over on Dove Field Place," said Reder. "Went in one door and out the other, [kind of] like in a bad police movie."

Deputies caught up with Myers in the front lawn of that home and made sure he couldn't escape again.

Myers faces a variety of charges, including burglary, escape, battery, assault, petty theft and resisting arrest. He is being held at the Hillsborough County Jail without bond.
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http://www.baynews9.com/site/content/36005.html
 
Thief Incarcerated in Used Clothing Bin

Mon Mar 15, 2004 02:03 PM ET


BERLIN (Reuters) - A German trying to steal clothes donated to charity was caught by police after he fell into the man-sized collection bin and got trapped.

"Arriving at the container, the officers saw two arms. The left hand held a cigarette and a voice demanded, 'Give me a light!'," police said in a statement.

A passerby had alerted them after hearing strange noises coming from inside the metal bin late at night in the western city of Bochum.

Police prevented the trapped 43-year-old from smoking, called the fire brigade to free him and let him go after charging him with attempted robbery.
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http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=4571295&section=news
 
Well I suppose it answers the age old question of what to do if you steal a cow but have now truck for the getaway but it does raise a few other questions:

Crooks stuff cow in cab

March 19, 2004 - 4:25PM


Police chasing two suspects in Costa Rica, pulled over their taxi but were stunned to find their back-seat passenger was a cow.

The two suspects were accused of stealing the cow outside the city of Heredia, just north of San Jose on March 18.

They somehow managed to force the animal into the back seat of a cab and tried to make their escape, police said.

Television images showed the cow placidly staring out of the back window of the taxi at the police officers.

The two men were taken into custody and the cow was to be given back to her owner, reports said
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http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/03/19/1079199414947.html
 
Original story:

Sites gone down I'll grab it in a minute
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http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article.jhtml?articleID=758780

and the truth:

Published: 24 March 2004

'Ninja' robber nabbed

The weird story of a ninja warrior who robbed a Norwegian gas station before escaping on a bicycle has been solved in record time. The tale was invented by a petty thief trying to get a tip-off fee from a newspaper after his robbery went wrong, newspaper Agderposten reports.

With only some petty cash to show for his knife-point robbery of a Shell station in Arendal, the thief sorely wanted to pad his income. An hour later he called Agderposten's news hotline with an incredible story, and demanded the NOK 1,000 reward for a hot tip.

"I saw a man run into the station. He had a ninja-like hood, was carrying a knife and had a sword sticking up from the back of his trousers," said the excited caller. The man gave his name and telephone number and insisted on being paid the reward, the newspaper reports.

Police confirmed yesterday that the robber had something unidentifiable sticking up behind his back.

A close examination of the station's security video camera revealed that the robber bore no resemblance to the legendary Japanese ninja.

The caller later went to police to testify as a witness to the robbery, where he was recognized by man robbed at the gas station and then arrested.
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http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article.jhtml?articleID=759729

Emps
 
Something similar is reported in FT182:10:

Sleeping Burglary Suspect Startles Victims

Fri Mar 26, 8:17 AM ET

Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!

OKLAHOMA CITY (Reuters) - An Oklahoma couple were surprised when they woke up and found a drunk burglary suspect asleep in bed with them, police said on Thursday.


The couple from the south Oklahoma city of Ardmore called police, ran out of their house and watched officers arrest the man who was still sleeping in their bed despite the sirens and commotion, police said.

Dan Johnson, 24, was arrested on the scene in the incident that took place on Sunday and was charged with burglary.

Officer Chad Anthony said in his arrest report that it took quite an effort to rouse the suspect from a deep slumber.

"After about two to three minutes, Johnson stood up. I saw that he was very intoxicated," he wrote.

The report said Johnson was found with a cell phone belonging to one of the victims in his pocket and in cash, also apparently stolen.

Johnson is suspected of kicking down a door at the residence and also trying to gain entry by using garden trimmers to pry open a door, the report said.

Police said the couple told officers a man they did not know had fallen asleep in bed with them.

Johnson and the victims would not comment on the incident.
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http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=4&u=/nm/20040326/od_nm/odd_burglar_dc
 
Web posted Thursday, April 1, 2004

Jailors unravel underwear smuggling plan

By Eric Williamson
Savannah Morning News
[email protected]
912-652-0365

Dumb mistake No. 1, to hear sheriff's deputies tell it, was made when a woman tried to sneak drugs into the Chatham County jail Monday, hiding them in some thermal underwear that she brought for a prisoner.

Dumb mistake No. 2, they said, was that she had a friend with her – a woman whose face was already on the lobby wall for attempting a similar smuggling scheme.

Octavia Roberson, 18, of the 500 block of West 33rd Street, tried to leave thermal underwear for an inmate she knew at about 7 p.m., according to sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Tommy Tillman.

Officers inspected the clothing, which is routine. Inside, a deputy found a long plastic baggy containing a green leafy substance believed to be marijuana.

The deputy notified a shift supervisor, and the women were detained, Tillman said.

Tillman identified the other woman as Shirlena Ann Spellman, 20, of the 500 block of West Anderson Street.

Spellman's face was familiar, Tillman said, because she was wanted for trying to smuggle 16 suspected marijuana cigarettes into the jail on March 4.

That time, Spellman became nervous and left the jail before she could be arrested. But she left behind an ID with her picture before she could be arrested, Tillman said.

Both women face the felony charge of crossing a guard line with drugs. Each was arraigned and given a bail of
Web posted Thursday, April 1, 2004

Jailors unravel underwear smuggling plan

By Eric Williamson
Savannah Morning News
[email protected]
912-652-0365

Dumb mistake No. 1, to hear sheriff's deputies tell it, was made when a woman tried to sneak drugs into the Chatham County jail Monday, hiding them in some thermal underwear that she brought for a prisoner.

Dumb mistake No. 2, they said, was that she had a friend with her – a woman whose face was already on the lobby wall for attempting a similar smuggling scheme.

Octavia Roberson, 18, of the 500 block of West 33rd Street, tried to leave thermal underwear for an inmate she knew at about 7 p.m., according to sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Tommy Tillman.

Officers inspected the clothing, which is routine. Inside, a deputy found a long plastic baggy containing a green leafy substance believed to be marijuana.

The deputy notified a shift supervisor, and the women were detained, Tillman said.

Tillman identified the other woman as Shirlena Ann Spellman, 20, of the 500 block of West Anderson Street.

Spellman's face was familiar, Tillman said, because she was wanted for trying to smuggle 16 suspected marijuana cigarettes into the jail on March 4.

That time, Spellman became nervous and left the jail before she could be arrested. But she left behind an ID with her picture before she could be arrested, Tillman said.

Both women face the felony charge of crossing a guard line with drugs. Each was arraigned and given a bail of $1,150.

At the county jail, the guard line starts at the front door.

The incident led to a spot of trouble for a man who pulled into the slot next to Roberson's car in the jail parking lot, just as officers were checking it out with a drug dog.

The pooch also took an interest in the newly-arrived car.

Counter Narcotics Team agents charged that car's driver, Vernell Cutter, 18, of the 1500 block of Cloverdale Drive, with possession of less than an ounce of marijuana.

"To see CNT agents and a drug dog and still park there is not very smart," Tillman said.
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,150.

At the county jail, the guard line starts at the front door.

The incident led to a spot of trouble for a man who pulled into the slot next to Roberson's car in the jail parking lot, just as officers were checking it out with a drug dog.

The pooch also took an interest in the newly-arrived car.

Counter Narcotics Team agents charged that car's driver, Vernell Cutter, 18, of the 1500 block of Cloverdale Drive, with possession of less than an ounce of marijuana.

"To see CNT agents and a drug dog and still park there is not very smart," Tillman said.
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http://www.savannahmorningnews.com/stories/040104/LOC_smuggleddrugs.shtml
 
Fri, April 2, 2004


Son shoots dad during botched mugging


By CARY CASTAGNA, POLICE REPORTER




This father-and-son duo may want to rethink their criminal careers -- before one of them gets killed. A 40-year-old man is recovering in hospital after his 16-year-old boy accidentally shot him in the chest during what police say was a botched mugging.

Three men were walking near the corner of Isabel Street and Bannatyne Avenue about 2:30 a.m. on March 13, when the father and son approached them and demanded they hand over their case of beer.

"When the males refused, a struggle ensued and the 16-year-old produced a loaded sawed-off 12-gauge shotgun," said Winnipeg police spokeswoman Const. Shelly Glover.

Two of the victims fled, but the third continued to struggle with the boy's father.

'POINTED THE SHOTGUN'

"The youth pointed the shotgun at the remaining victim and fired one shot, which struck his father in the chest," Glover said.

The teen was later charged with robbery with a firearm, using a firearm in the commission of an offence, discharging a firearm with intent and two counts of pointing a firearm. He was detained at the Manitoba Youth Centre.

The father was arrested shortly after 11:30 a.m. Wednesday at Health Sciences Centre and was charged with robbery with a firearm, using a firearm in the commission of an offence, careless use and storage of a firearm and firearm registration-related charges.
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http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/WinnipegSun/News/2004/04/02/405235.html
 
Robber's bizarre gesture in pie shop hold-up

Mar 26 2004


Lisa Jones, South Wales Echo


A THIEF robbed a cafe of £10, then used the cash to pay for a pastie he had ordered.

Merthyr Tydfil Crown Court heard factory worker David Smith, 23, ordered the pastie and then brandished a Stanley knife at the 56-year-old owner as she gave it to him.

Demanding she hand over the money in the till, he said: "I'm not joking, give me all the money in the till. I'm going away for a long time, my mother is ill and I want to leave her something."

The owner told Smith she only had £10 and if he went away she would forget about it, the court was told.

"You are going to get into a lot of trouble for next to nothing," she said.

She gave Smith a £10 note and some change from the till. Then, incredibly, he pushed two pounds back towards her for the pastie.

Frightened and shaking with fear, she told him to take the money and leave.

When he was arrested on January 27, Smith told police he had given some money to his girlfriend and bought petrol for his car with the rest.

Yesterday Smith, of Bailey Street, Ton Pentre, pleaded guilty to stealing the money from Park Cafe, Gelli Road, Gelli, Rhondda. He was jailed for two years.

Michael Jones, defending, said: "He comes from a good, stable family background. He's baffled as to why he behaved in the way he did."

Mr Jones said Smith had never come to terms with the death of his father years ago and had bottled his feelings up rather than burdening his mother.

He said Smith had "led a blameless, diligent and industrious life".

Judge John Curran said: "The owners of small shops are all too vulnerable.

"The woman was on her own on the premises and you were armed with a knife."
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http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100...re-gesture-in-pie-shop-hold-up-name_page.html
 
Hardly world-class criminality, but definitely stupid-

Drink driver went 16 miles on wrong side of motorway

David Ward
Wednesday April 7, 2004
The Guardian

Police yesterday released video footage of a drunk driver who steered her car the wrong way down two motorways for 16 miles.
The film showed Sandra White, a police lab assistant from Middleton, Greater Manchester, driving her Ford Ka in the outside lane on the right-hand side of the road, missing oncoming traffic, including a police car.

White drove at about 50mph along the entire length of the M66 north of Manchester and the film showed lorries on the carriageway she should have been travelling on overtaking her on the other side of the crash barrier.

She drove on to the M60, where she did a u-turn across three lanes and headed back the way she had come.

She eventually pulled on to the hard shoulder, where her car was boxed in by two police vehicles. A breath test showed she had three times the legal limit of alcohol in her blood.

White, 50, was unable to watch as the video, recorded by a police helicopter, was shown to Manchester magistrates, who jailed her for three months on charges of drunken and dangerous driving. She was also banned from driving for 18 months and ordered to take a driving test.

The court heard she was spotted driving in the wrong direction on the Edenfield bypass near Rossendale, Lancashire, at 11pm on March 2.

Norman Wilcock, prosecuting, said White continued on to the M66, where a police car had to swerve to avoid a head-on smash. Several other vehicles had to take evasive action. When she reached the M60, she did a u-turn before being stopped by police.

"Although she was only travelling at 45-50mph, if she had hit anything there would probably have been a fatal accident," said Mr Wilcock.

Donald Owen, defending, said White bitterly regretted the incident. She had intended to stay the night at a friend's house after a meal and a few drinks but decided to drive home after a row. She had panicked and did not know what to do when she realised she was driving the wrong way on the motorway.

White lodged notice of appeal against sentence, but the bench refused bail.
 
That was all over the north west news with virtually the whole helicopter footage of the incident shown. Its stupidity bordering on madness.

Emps
 
2 brothers held in separate holdups of same Perth Amboy store

Published in the Home News Tribune 4/06/04
By KEN SERRANO
STAFF WRITER

PERTH AMBOY: A pair of Perth Amboy brothers had the same bad idea about making easy money, police said.

Police Director Michael Kohut said Glenn Makowiecki, 36, of Washington Street in the city walked into the Quick-Chek at 851 Convery Blvd. at 1:15 p.m. Friday and demanded cash.

The 34-year-old Woodbridge woman behind the counter turned over an undetermined amount of money and Makowiecki ran, Kohut said.

Police caught up with him five minutes later when they saw him lying under the Route 440 overpass about a block away in an attempt to hide, Kohut said.

On March 28, Makowiecki's brother, Guy, 41, of Zambory Street, did only a little better. At 9:45 a.m. that Sunday, Guy Makowiecki went into the same store and demanded money at knifepoint, robbing the same woman, Kohut said.

She turned over 5 and he ran, he said. Police caught up with Guy Makowiecki at 7 p.m. that day.

He turned out to be a frequent customer of the store.

He was charged with possession of a weapon, making terroristic threats and robbery. Glenn Makowiecki was charged Friday with robbery and weapons offenses. Both remained last night at Middlesex County Adult Correction Center in North Brunswick, Guy in lieu of 0,000 and Glenn in lieu of ,000.

The store has seen other bad luck. On Saturday, a Cadillac backed into the building, crumpling a wall, a shift supervisor at the Quick-Chek said.

Two patrolmen were in the store at the time of the accident. One was sitting against the wall and received a minor injury to his shoulder, Kohut said.
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http://www.thnt.com/thnt/story/0,21282,938893,00.html?sec=main?=centraljersey
 
She had intended to stay the night at a friend's house after a meal and a few drinks but decided to drive home after a row.
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Strangely, this exact sequence of events occurred in my home town a few years ago. It was given as the explanation for a local woman crashing her car and killing herself. :(
 
Man Accused Of Job Hunting In Soiled Diaper Charged

POSTED: 4:01 pm EDT April 8, 2004

MORRISTOWN, N.J. -- A man who allegedly went job hunting at five day care centers earlier this year while clad in a soiled diaper and pink stretch pants has been indicted on seven counts of child endangerment.

William Rhode III, 53, whose last known address was a Paterson homeless shelter, was charged Wednesday by a Morris County grand jury, which said his behavior constituted sexual conduct and that children at all five centers saw him.

However, Rhode's lawyer, Michael Fletcher, disputed those claim and said he would seek to have the indictment dismissed.

Authorities said Rhode unsuccessfully tried to get work at centers in Hardyston, Jefferson and Pequannock and two in Lincoln Park on Feb. 12 and left each time without incident. He was arrested later that day and remains in the county jail on $75,000 bail.


Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


http://www.local6.com/news/2986792/detail.html
 
Earlier news on that one is posted in the Weird Sex forum if people are looking for more background.

More dumb criminals:

Kokomo bar patrons thwart robbery



Associated Press
April 9, 2004



KOKOMO, Ind. -- A bar owner and three customers in his bar beat a would-be robber so badly Wednesday that the shotgun-wielding man needed 19 staples in his head, police said.

Police said Donald A. Willis, 46, held a shotgun and walked into a Kokomo bar just as it was closing at 3 a.m.

Willis told the owner and three customers to get on the floor, said Lt. Don Whitehead.

Tom Grawey, one of the bar's owners, charged Willis, knocking him to the floor. One customer grabbed the gun, another hit the man in the head with several bottles and a third patron helped subdue the suspect, Whitehead said.

"We would never encourage people to take matters in their own hands, especially in a situation like this," Whitehead said. "It was a very dangerous decision to make. Fortunately, it turned out well."

Grawey said the man pointed the gun at him and the three others in the bar.

"I just did what I had to do," he said.

The man's shotgun was not loaded and had a trigger lock, Whitehead said.

Willis, 46, received 19 staples in his head at St. Joseph Hospital before being arrested on a felony charge of attempted robbery. Willis was being held in the Howard County Jail on a 0,000 bond.

The customers suffered minor injuries when they wrestled Willis to the ground, but did not require treatment.
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http://www.indystar.com/articles/6/136456-7716-102.html
 
Man Found Showering Convicted of Burglary

Fri Apr 9, 5:41 PM ET


ATLANTA - A man who was found taking a shower in a woman's Midtown Atlanta apartment has been convicted of burglary.




Tyron Jones, 39, faces up to 20 years in prison when he is sentenced next month.

Although he denied being the man that a startled Rebecca Taylor discovered in her home Nov. 6, 2002, a Fulton County jury convicted him Thursday of felony burglary.

Taylor told police that Jones had helped himself to her Lean Cuisine pizza and was doing his laundry when she came home. Taylor, 35, called 911 and tried to block her apartment door, but Jones hopped in his clothes and ran past her with items including Taylor's grandmother's diamond ring.
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http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...10&u=/ap/20040409/ap_on_fe_st/bathing_burglar
 
Monday, April 12, 2004 - Page updated at 12:00 A.M.


Intoxicated man seeks trooper job, is arrested as he drives away

By The Associated Press



ORCHARDS, Clark County — A man who stopped by State Patrol headquarters to ask about a job didn't get what he wanted — but he did find out how a handheld alcohol tester works.

Robert Gulley, an unemployed radio technician, was ticketed for alleged drunken driving as he drove away from the patrol office in this suburb east of Vancouver. He had asked for a job application.

"I guess it was a bad time to go there," Gulley, 25, of nearby Sifton, told The Columbian newspaper. "It was a bad judgment call."

When Gulley walked into patrol headquarters Wednesday afternoon, he was slurring his words, his eyes appeared glassy and his breath smelled of alcohol, Trooper Maureen Crandall said.

When she told him it wasn't a good idea to apply to be a trooper while intoxicated, Gulley denied he'd been drinking, another trooper said.

So Trooper Rich Bettger, who'd overheard what was going on, offered to measure Gulley's blood-alcohol level with a handheld breath tester.

Gulley blew a 0.095 percent, above the state's legal limit for driving of 0.08 percent, indicating he'd had at least three drinks, Trooper Garvin March said.

Gulley said he'd had only had one drink — a Long Island iced tea — and that it likely caused a high alcohol reading because he hadn't eaten in more than a day.

When the troopers asked Gulley how he got to the station, they said he told them he'd been given a ride. The officers said they warned Gulley not to drive home.

But after leaving the office and pacing back and forth on a nearby side street for 10 minutes, Gulley got into his car and drove away, troopers said.

He was promptly pulled over and ticketed. Gulley was given two more alcohol-breath tests, which both gave readings of slightly more than 0.08 percent, March said.




The troopers then arranged for Gulley's sister to drive him home.

"I actually still want to join the police department," Gulley said. "Those guys are doing their job keeping the roads safe."

But state troopers said Gulley's career prospects with the Patrol appear dim.

"I guarantee he's not going to get a job with us," March said. "We've arrested drunks in unexpected ways and places before, but this one just blew me away."
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http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001901131_applicant12m.html
 
Man Arrested After Changing Pants

[Associated Press/AP Online]
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - It was a case of being in the wrong pants at the wrong time. Kendrick Gibson, 26, was arrested by police Thursday after failing to surrender himself for booking on a misdemeanor citation for a suspended license charge.
Authorities went to Gibson's residence to arrest him. With police inside his residence, Gibson began getting dressed, putting on a pair of blue jeans. He then suddenly took them off for another pair.

The officers became suspicious and found plastic bags containing crack cocaine and a small amount of marijuana in the pockets of the first pair.

Gibson also now faces charges of felony possession of crack for resale and misdemeanor marijuana possession.
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Original story
 
On the face of it this seems like a cunning plan - wear a wet suit and make your escape underwater but then you realise the bank was 2 miles from the river so it rather spoils the point as he could have easily made a more conventional getaway (his clumsiness didn't help) - unless there wasa sub waiting offshore to whisk him away I suppose:

Friday, April 16, 2004

Suspected robber aimed for marine getaway

Man in wet suit entered bank with rifle, witnesses say
Ron Soliman/The Olympian
SCOTT GUTIERREZ THE OLYMPIAN


OLYMPIA -- A bank robber wearing a wet suit under his clothing attempted an aquatic getaway Thursday after leading police on a high-speed chase, police said.

But officers stopped the man before he made it to Budd Inlet with blue scuba gear and a backpack full of stolen cash. The man bolted for the water after wrecking his car in the 1700 block of West Bay Drive, police said.

The chase started two miles away at Key Bank, 2920 Harrison Ave W. At 5 p.m., the robber entered the bank with an assault rifle, pushed a customer out of the way, and pointed the weapon at a teller as he demanded money, Olympia police Sgt. Ray Holmes said.

It was one of the more unusual and daring heists in recent memory.

"First, we don't have a lot of robberies where people use assault rifles, fortunately. The second part is this guy had obviously planned ahead an escape route," Holmes said.

But quick reports from eyewitnesses and some stumbling by the man as he fled helped officers catch the suspect, Holmes said.

"No. 1, when he was leaving the bank he dropped some things, which caused a slight delay. No. 2, there was quick reporting by witnesses and victims ... and officers were able to set up a real decent area of containment, and he ended up crossing one of the officers' paths," Holmes said.

Charles E. Coma, 35, of Shelton was arrested on suspicion of first-degree robbery. Coma has some criminal history, Holmes said, although investigators had no evidence he's linked to other South Sound robberies. The FBI also is investigating the robbery, he said.

Police caught up with him when witnesses saw him several blocks from the bank on Limited Lane, running toward a wooded area behind a nearby Pizza Hut, Holmes said.

Then, an officer on a motorcycle saw the suspect get into a Mercury Cougar parked at Capital High School, 2707 Conger Ave. N.W. The officer tried to pull him over after he drove away from the lot, Holmes said. The ensuing two-mile pursuit in rush-hour traffic with patrol cars shot up Division Street to Elliot Avenue, and then south on Crestline Boulevard to Raft Avenue, and then down a steep hill onto West Bay Drive, where the suspect plowed through a chain-link fence.

He then turned back toward the hill and crashed into a tree.

Speeds reached about 45 mph, Holmes said.

"We're not sure if he lost control or whether he drove to the side of the roadway," Holmes said.

The suspect disobeyed officers' commands to surrender and instead ran for the shoreline. Officers tackled him and then used an electronic Tazer to stun him when he jumped up from the ground, Holmes said.

The suspect also tossed the backpack into the water, where officers retrieved it, Holmes said.

With several police cars lining West Bay Drive, officers closed a lane and routed traffic through an adjacent dirt lot. The flashing lights and commotion drew several spectators.

"I'm glad they got him," said Sally Taylor, who came down with her husband, Gib. "There's been too many bank robberies."

Officers marched the handcuffed suspect back to a patrol car. He was wearing a white, hooded sweatshirt and grey baggy pants over a wet suit.

The suspect was treated at the scene by Olympia firefighters for minor injuries he suffered in the scuffle with officers and for signs of heat exhaustion, Holmes said.

A search of the suspect's car, which was towed from the crash scene, garnered a high-powered assault rifle, Holmes said. Police were uncertain whether he planned to swim to a boat for the escape.
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http://www.theolympian.com/home/news/20040416/topstories/28554.shtml

Emps
 
Not fighting just shagging

Ooooo the lights have turned red - time for a quick jump perhaps?

Sex in car, fight report ruled reasonable cause

TRAFFIC STOP: Man loses appeal over arrest for drunken driving.


By SHEILA TOOMEY
Anchorage Daily News

(Published: April 17, 2004)



When a driver fails to step on the gas as soon as the light turns green because he's busy having sex with his passenger, is that legal justification for a law enforcement officer in the car behind to make a traffic stop?

In the case of Richard Wallace of Fairbanks, the state trooper who pulled over his Jeep noticed that Wallace was really drunk and ended up arresting him.

Wallace, now 37, eventually pleaded no contest to felony drunken driving with the proviso that he could appeal the question of whether the stop was legal. Which is why the Alaska Court of Appeals found itself pondering this weighty question.

According to a judgment issued by the court Wednesday, the Alaska State Troopers got a report about 11:15 p.m. June 21, 2001, that a man and woman were fighting in a car. The caller had the license number and approximate location of the vehicle, so trooper Lawrence Erickson was dispatched to investigate a possible domestic violence incident.

Headed north on the Steese Highway, Erickson noticed the blue Jeep Cherokee driving south. He turned around and followed and got close enough to confirm the plate was the same.

The Jeep stopped for a red light. Erickson was directly behind and could see into the Cherokee. At first he thought the man and woman were still fighting but "soon realized that the two were having a sexual encounter," the judgment says.

The woman in the passenger seat was facing the driver, her left leg on top of the driver's seat, wrapped around his head rest. "While trooper Erickson watched, Wallace 'got up and leaned over on top of the female passenger,' " the judgment says.

The light turned green. Wallace did not respond "for a few seconds." Then he sat back up and started to drive away. Erickson turned on his patrol lights, and Wallace stopped after about a block.

Erickson inquired about the reported fight. "Wallace responded that the passenger was his wife and that they had been having sex, not fighting," the judgment says. Wallace "smelled strongly of alcohol, had red, watery eyes, unsteady balance and thick speech."

Wallace's blood alcohol tested out at .173, way above the legal limit for driving. But, argued the defense, the trooper discovered Wallace was drunk only because he stopped him for a fight that wasn't happening.

In a unanimous decision, the appeals court judges said the trooper had a legal right to stop the Jeep and ask questions about possible domestic violence even if the couple was no longer fighting.

And besides that, the judges said, the Alaska Administrative Code provides that no person "may drive a vehicle when he has in his embrace, or holds in his hands, another person in a manner (that) prevents the free and unhampered operation of the vehicle."

So Erickson actually had two legal reasons to stop the car and get a whiff of Wallace's breath, the court concluded.
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http://www.adn.com/alaska/story/4975511p-4903529c.html
 
A friend of mine from Gillingham in Kent used to be a bit of a bad boy when he was younger.

After one court appearance he was given one last opportunity to prove himself worthy and a job with a firm of painters and decorators. While doing this job he bought a load of snide paint from one of his dodgy mates in order to sell it on to his employers and make a few pounds. Unfortunately for him it turned out that the paint had been stolen from the firm he worked for in the first place and not only that but from the site they were presently working on - a Police Station.

The story actually made the tabloid press at the time. Needless to say my mate was Borstal bound.
 
Shoplifter leaves behind resume

Friday, April 23, 2004
By SEAN C. McCULLEN
Staff Writer

BRIDGETON -- The suspect in a shoplifting incident at a retail business in the Hancock Center Wednesday morning did not exactly leave police with a whole lot of investigative work in order to identify him.

The suspect may as well have left behind a map to his home before leaving the store.

Police allege that Ellsworth Wilson, 44, of Seabrook, filled out a job application at Family Dollar as he milled through the store for approximately an hour while filling two bags with merchandise, according to Ptl. Leroy Smith.

Wilson then reportedly left the store, setting off its anti-theft alarm.

After reviewing police records and video surveillance from Family Dollar, police were able to positively identify Wilson, and confirm that he had filled the job application out with all the right information, including his home address, Smith said.

Wilson had not been apprehended as of Thursday afternoon on complaints signed by the store manager who reported the theft, Smith noted.

The officer said, because Wilson lives in Seabrook, he will have to be picked up by state police.

It is believed Wilson managed to get away with a CD player and other merchandise, according to Smith's investigation report.

The store manager caught up to the individual police believe to be Wilson at the intersection of North Pearl and McCormick streets and retrieved one of the bags of merchandise before the suspect fled the area.
Click to expand...

http://www.nj.com/news/bridgeton/local/index.ssf?/base/news-7/108271208030510.xml
 
Man Allegedly Uses Murder Suspect's ID
Thu Apr 22, 7:35 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!



LAFAYETTE, Ind. - A man made a mistake by using a fake driver's license with the name of a person wanted for attempted murder.



Theodord Partida Ceja, 36, spent several hours in jail after he gave a state trooper who stopped him for speeding south of Lafayette an Indiana driver's license with the name Jose A. Fabela. A check of the license found that Fabela, 39, was wanted in Texas for attempted murder, police said.


Investigators suspected Ceja might not be the wanted man and had officials in Hidalgo County, Texas, where Fabela is wanted, fax them a photograph of Fabela.


"Right away, when we saw the photo, we knew it wasn't our guy," Trooper Troy Fischer said.


Ceja later gave investigators an Indiana state identification card and Mexican credentials in his own name.


Ceja was arrested on charges of suspicion of identity deception and false informing. Identity deception is a felony punishable by six months to three years in jail.


Ceja could not be reached for comment as no home telephone number was listed in his name.


State police 1st Sgt. Brent Bible said the incident showed another risk of identity theft.


"The suspect can just as easily become a victim of his or her own crime," he said. "What this does is highlight the importance of people abiding by the laws that are in place for obtaining and maintaining proper identification."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&ncid=816&e=2&u=/ap/20040422/ap_onfe_st/wrong_id
 
Alleged Robber in Calif. Stops for a Beer
Fri Apr 23,12:29 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!



HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. - Minutes after a bank heist, the alleged robber walked into bar and ordered a beer.



"One Budweiser draft," Ronald Langdale told bartender Martin Jimenez on Thursday after slapping a $5 bill on the bar at Mario's Restaurant, which shares the same strip mall property as the Bank of America.


Langdale, 58, of Los Angeles only got to drink half of the beer.


Police arrested him for allegedly robbing the Bank of America. He had the loot with him in a white plastic bag, Sgt. Mike Mello said.


"In all my years, we've never had one of these," said Mello, a 21-year department veteran.


Langdale was identified by witnesses as the man who told a teller he had a weapon and wanted cash. He fled on foot with the money, although authorities wouldn't say how much.


"He was just silent. Very pensive," Jimenez said, adding it didn't appear to him that Langdale was hiding from anyone. When police officers approached, the bartender said Langdale turned pale.


He was arrested without a struggle, Jimenez said.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&e=6&u=ap/beer_bust


___


Information from: The Orange County Register
 
Bank Robber Finds Pink Is Not Pretty

Thu Apr 29, 8:38 AM ET



DALLAS (Reuters) - A Texas woman was arrested on Wednesday after a pink dye pack attached to money she is suspected of stealing from a bank exploded when she took the cash to a different bank to open a new account, police said.

Fort Worth police said Sharon Luck, 43, was arrested on suspicion of robbing a bank in the city early on Wednesday, after a woman gave a bank teller a threatening note and walked out with cash to which the dye pack had been attached.

Police would not say how much money was stolen or divulge the contents of the note.

Luck is suspected of taking the money to a bank in Burleson, about 20 miles away. Police said she was apparently going to deposit the stolen cash when things went awry.

"When she opened her purse, the dye pack detonated," said Lt. Abdul Pridgen, a Fort Worth police spokesman.

Luck fled the bank and was arrested in the parking lot of a nearby store.

Police said she was easy to find because she was covered in pink dye.
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http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=3&u=/nm/20040429//od_nm/odd_bank_dc
 
from reuters:

BUT IT WAS SO TASTY... SNACK DNA NABS GERMAN THIEF BERLIN, MAY 4 (REUTERS) - A GERMAN BURGLAR WHO TOOK A BITE OUT OF A MEATBALL
DURING A NIGHT RAID ON A SANDWICH SHOP WAS CAUGHT AFTER FORENSIC scientists ran a DNA test on it.
"A DNA test on the saliva traces identified an old friend," police in Frankfurt said on Tuesday.
Police did not have to spend long hunting down the 43-year-old culprit after the meatball theft in January because he was already in prison for burglary.

REUTERS
 
Man charged with 2 bank robberies


By ALBERT MCKEON, Telegraph Staff
[email protected]
Published: Friday, May. 7, 2004


NASHUA - A man who allegedly robbed two banks left a telling clue at one heist: a paper that detailed his bail conditions on a drug charge.

The note that Benjamin Poirier used to demand money from a Sovereign Bank teller was written on a fax sheet listing bail conditions from a Nashua District Court arraignment, police said. Poirier, 23, left the note behind at the bank, and investigators used it to track him down, police said.

“It was obviously an error in his judgment,” police Sgt. Richard Sprankle said.

Police arrested Poirier Thursday morning, as he slept at a friend’s residence, Sprankle said. That friend, Kenneth Perkins, allowed police to enter his home at 38½ West Hollis St., and officers observed that Perkins had stolen a ground-penetrating radar device, leading to his arrest, Sprankle said.

Poirier is accused of robbing the Sovereign Bank at 223 Main St. late Tuesday morning. He handed a teller a note - written on the court fax - stating that he was armed and wanted money, Sprankle said.

Police also charged Poirier with robbing the Fleet Bank branch at 213 Daniel Webster Highway last August. In that robbery, he handed a teller a note demanding money, but she didn’t react, Sprankle said. Poirier then presented the note to another teller and ultimately fled the bank with an undisclosed amount, Sprankle said.

But Poirier left his note behind after robbing Sovereign Bank of an undisclosed amount of money, Sprankle said. The paper did not reveal Poirier’s name, but Detective Brian Battaglia determined the fax sheet had been sent March 9 from the district courthouse.

Nashua investigators realized their department had arraigned two people that day, and they narrowed their chase to Poirier, Sprankle said. Poirier was arraigned that day for possession of a controlled drug, Sprankle said.

Officers Michael Dunn and Todd Moriarty began searching for Poirier early Thursday morning, and arrested him at 7:44 a.m., Sprankle said.

The officers noticed Poirier was in possession of a drug, believed to be marijuana, a misdemeanor charge, Sprankle said.

Police also learned Poirier had stolen four personal checks and cashed them at Nashua-area banks, Sprankle said. Police have charged him with three counts of forgery and a count of attempted forgery, all class B felonies.

In both bank robberies, witnesses described the suspect as a thin, young man wearing a winter jacket - though one took place earlier this week and the other in the middle of summer.

The two robbery charges, both class A felonies, are punishable by up to 7½ to 15 years in prison.

The class B felony charges carry maximum sentences of 3½ to seven years. Poirier is also charged with a city ordinance violation for possessing drug paraphernalia, Sprankle said.

Poirier, whose last known address was 5 Elm St. in Merrimack, was arraigned at Nashua District Court, and is being held on 0,000 bail, Sprankle said. His next court date is May 19.
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http://nashuatelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040507/NEWS01/205070327
 
Woman Calls Police, Wants To Buy Crack

Police Arrest Woman After She Arranges Meeting Point

POSTED: 4:34 pm EDT May 19, 2004
UPDATED: 5:20 pm EDT May 19, 2004

ONTARIO, Ohio -- What police thought to be a prank call turned out to be a woman trying to purchase drugs, reported NewsChannel5's Jonathan Costen.

According to Ontario police, 27-year-old Amy Logue, of Ashland, was arrested after calling police several times looking for crack cocaine.

Logue called the police station three times trying to arrange the drug deal.

"It's the worst case of a misdialed phone number I've ever seen," said Rob Griefenstine, of the Ontario police.

Initially, the drug buy was supposed to take place at a vacant gas station, but she called the police and asked them to meet her at the McDonald's nearby because she didn't want to seem too obvious or suspicious.

"We could eliminate a lot of other vehicles we would suspect if she pulled into a closed facility, but her knowing that as well, she tried to avoid the police," said Griefenstine.

Police arrested Logue and charged her with a felony for trying to buy drugs.
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http://www.newsnet5.com/news/3324227/detail.html
 
Life on a knife edge

May 18, 2004 - 1:01PM


A man swallowed an 8cm-long knife and reportedly walked around with it lodged in his throat for eight months.

Mao Qiang gulped down the knife as police searched him after he was arrested in Chengdu, Sichuan province in in western China last year, according to the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily.

The folding knife, which was 1.5cm wide, lodged in his trachea and was eventually removed by surgeons who said it could have killed him at any time, the newspaper reported.
Click to expand...

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/05/18/1084783497372.html
 
This is priceless but so good you wonder if it might be a UL:

This Doesn't Taste Like Diesel Fuel

Friday, May 21, 2004

A Scottish thief tried to siphon off someone else's diesel fuel — but ended up getting a mouthful of raw sewage instead.


John O'Hare, 73, and his wife May, 69, of Glasgow had spent a week touring Scotland in their camper van and had parked at their final stop just a few miles from home, reports the Scottish Daily Record.

While they were sound asleep, a thief crept up to their encampment with a plastic hose and fuel container, intending to poach some diesel.

He apparently stuck one end in his mouth in order to get the siphon going — and, in the darkness, the other end not into the van's fuel tank, but into its septic chamber.

The next morning, the O'Hares stepped outside to find on the ground: the plastic hose; the fuel container; the entire contents of the septic tank; and a puddle of human vomit.

"I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways," laughed John O'Hare to the newspaper on Sunday.

Also lying on the ground were several pound coins, which O'Hare thinks may have been robbed from a vending machine. He gave the money to charity.

"Fortunately for us," said O'Hare, "he was left with a nasty taste in his mouth."
Click to expand...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,120538,00.html
 
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