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Toilet Talk

Yup, people have to sit next to me sometimes! :lol:
 
Pool party pooper leaves messy mystery at Ships and Castles

A mystery party-pooper may force the cancellation of a popular children’s event at Ships and Castles leisure centre after repeatedly defecating in the swimming pool.
The centre’s management has put-up notices saying it will close the Wave Rave sessions for eight to 14 year-olds after “recurring instances of finding poo in the pool.”

Staff at the Falmouth centre have logged several incidents over the past few weeks where a child in the pool has reported floating faecal matter to a lifeguard during the disco style events, which feature wave machines and loud music, and take place from 6pm to 9pm on Friday nights.

Last week, when the same thing happened again, the pool was closed in an attempt to catch the offender.
Centre manager Mel Emerson said: “We wanted to nip it in the bud, to highlight the problem and find out who the culprit is.”
It is understood that the offender has also struck in the changing rooms and in the toilets at the pool. :shock:

Tempus Leisure, which runs the centre, said it was investigating the matter, and considers the perpetrator is one of the children, as other bathers are not generally allowed in the pool at the time.

A spokesperson said: “Last week, when it happened again, we closed the pool which was very disappointing and inconvenient for all our other customers.
“However, we would like to assure everyone that this situation poses no health and safety threat to other members of the public using our facility.

“Where the waste matter is of a solid consistency we simply remove and dispose of it immediately and the water treatment and disinfection we use is more than enough to quickly remove any harmful bacteria from the water, as are the cleaning chemicals we use for the poolside, changing areas, showers and toilets. Regular tests of our water quality are routinely taken and recorded every day and any fluctuations would immediately become apparent.”

The company is trying to get to the bottom of things with new measures, including increasing surveillance by staff and recording the details of anyone attending the sessions.
The spokesperson added: “The health, safety and welfare of our customers is paramount and we will continue with our investigations into this matter.

“We would welcome information any member of the public may have on identifying the culprit.
“Anybody with information which leads to a swift resolution of this matter may be rewarded. Please contact the centre’s reception in confidence on 01326 212129.”

http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fp ... d_Castles/
 
Man injured by Amsterdam pop-up toilet

A man in the Dutch city of Amsterdam has been injured after a pop-up public toilet sunk into the ground emerged unexpectedly.
The man was hit by a moped which was thrown up in the air as the so-called UriLift toilet suddenly rose up.
He is being treated in hospital for minor injuries.

The toilets are a feature of central areas of Amsterdam, emerging at night to deter people from urinating in the streets.
Witnesses nearby reported hearing a loud bang at the time of the accident.
One man tweeted an image of the aftermath, writing: "Literally just walked past this explosion about two minutes before. Feeling lucky."

It is not clear what caused the incident.
Results of an investigation are due after the weekend

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30254888
 
Pop-up toilets sound like a piss-poor idea.
 
Yeah, it doesn't sound good, does it?

I wonder if they were supposed to the an alternative to those plastic ones they put out that were like 4 urinals joined together in a square.
 
I just got home, by bus. Buses departing from town have to go round a small roundabout with a monument on top.

Perhaps it was the article about pop-up toilets that reminded me of something that hasn't crossed my mind for years - before the town centre road layout was changed, that was the site of underground public conveniences. But they were filled in and the roundabout built on top, surnounted by the monument which had been nearby.

But if those toilets decide to rise again, it wouldn't half make a mess! :twisted:
 
rynner2 said:
I just got home, by bus. Buses departing from town have to go round a small roundabout with a monument on top.

Perhaps it was the article about pop-up toilets that reminded me of something that hasn't crossed my mind for years - before the town centre road layout was changed, that was the site of underground public conveniences. But they were filled in and the roundabout built on top, surnounted by the monument which had been nearby.

But if those toilets decide to rise again, it wouldn't half make a mess! :twisted:
Click to expand...

Make an interesting horror film: a malign public lavatory rising from the depths and drowning people in its toilet bowls.
 
A group of American rocket enthusiasts may be potty but they ended up flushed with success after launching a portable toilet.

The levitating lavatory roared skywards, made an arc, then, slowed by parachutes, almost landed on a spectator’s pick-up truck 600m away.

In the US, the Michiana Rocketry club members planned the project for more than two years. The club is trying to increase awareness of rocketry as a hobby and prove it is possible to turn a porta-potty into a rocket and launch it successfully.

The Herald Palladium said that lift-off was achieved in a soya bean field near Three Oaks in Berrien County in Michigan State. About 30 people worked on the rocket, from engineers to sales people who lined up sponsors.

Rocket enthusiast Bob Bycraft says the project was carefully planned and not “barnyard engineering”.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/is ... 01419.html
Click to expand...
 
GERMANY: A court has ruled that a tenant who likes to pee standing up does not owe his landlord money for damages caused by splashing or missing his target altogether.

The Duesseldorf administrative court rejected the landlord’s claim of €1,900 for alleged damage to the bathroom’s marble floor, the DPA news agency reported.

While accepting expert evidence that urine had damaged the marble, Judge Stefan Hank ruled the man’s method was within cultural norms, saying that, “despite the increasing domestication of men in this context, urinating standing up is still common practice”.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/world/...-tenant-will-get-his-deposit-back-308713.html
 
More than we really needed to know about Louis Armstrong, whose long-lost 1968 Desert Island Discs appearance has shown up on a tape from the jazzman's personal collection:

From the Guardian article.

"But it was also a turning point in Armstrong’s life; his health went into decline a few months later and he was taken to hospital after rapid weight loss on laxatives. Plomley says: “You are about half the size you were when I last saw you. Have you been getting enough to eat?”

“I’ve been getting too much to eat,” replies Armstrong, who died in 1971. “I’ve learnt the psychology of leaving it all behind me every morning. That’s my philosophy. You don’t need it after the taste has gone.”

:eek::eek::eek:






Whadda wonderful turd! Oh Yeahhhh!
 
Ol' Satch was also a pioneer of scat singing...
 
Apparently having bowel movements were one of Louis Armstrong's favourite things. I heard a documentary on him once with much anecdotal detail.
 
Wow! That does tend to explain why Garbo wanted to be alone!

Satchmo's lifelong fascination with laxatives suggests that his Desert Island Discs comments were hiding the truth about his drastic, recent weight-loss from himself. :(
 
China's authorities have seized 7,600 toilet rolls and 20,000 packets of tissue printed with the image of Hong Kong chief executive CY Leung.

Hong Kong's Democratic Party, which had planned to sell the novelty items at a fair next week, called the seizure a violation of freedom of expression.

The tissues were confiscated from a factory in mainland China on Friday. ...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-31189050
 
I have an old copy of Private Eye (from the 1980s) which features a small ad for Thatcher portrait-printed bogroll.
Just reading the text on it feels satisfyingly disrespectful. :cool:
 
I remember seeing that in joke shops around that time, usually with the caption on the box "Wipe that smile from her face". :D
 
Residents of Hamburg's St. Pauli's nightclub district are getting their own back on late-night revelers who urinate on public buildings, with a new high-tech paint that sends the spray bouncing right back at them.

A local interest group has applied the special water-repellent paint, also used in shipbuilding, on two especially frequented buildings in the renowned nightclub district near the port to deter "Wildpinkler", as Germans call them.

"This paint job sends a direct message back to perpetrators that their wild urinating on this wall is not welcome," Julia Staron, who organized the group, told Reuters. "The paint protects the buildings and the residents and most importantly it sends a signal this behavior is not on." ...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbe...evelers-with-urine-repellent-paint/ar-BBidPWt
 
A prototype toilet that generates electricity from urine has launched — near a students’ union bar.

The boffins behind the ‘pee-power’ toilet hope it can be used by aid agencies in disaster zones to supply much-needed ‘urine-tricity’ to refugee camps. The urinal is the result of a partnership between researchers at the University of the West of England in Bristol and Oxfam. It is located near the students’ union at the university’s Frenchay campus and researchers are hoping for brisk business at closing time.

Students and staff are being asked to use the urinal to donate pee to fuel the microbial fuel cell stacks that generate electricity to power indoor lighting. ...

http://www.irishexaminer.com/world/spend-a-penny-to-generate-electricity-316310.html
 
In one of my former life's I delivered ECDL (European Computer Driving License) training to groups of students. One afternoon whilst doing this one of the younger members of the group nipped to the loo. After 10 minutes I noticed that he hadn't returned so up I got and went investigating. Outside the toilets was another member of staff and the caretaker - both trying to talk someone out of the loos. I joined then and peered in, my student was stood in a cubicle with a look of terror on his face. He was frozen with fear (thankfully- fully clothed) and was shaking whilst pointing at the floor. I asked him what the problem was and all he could mutter was, "the floor had gone".

After the Police and an ambulance arrived he was coaxed out of the toilets and taken away. I learned later that his problem was drug related.

Don't do drugs, especially when you don't know whats in them!
 
Especially...don't do drugs and drive. :eek:
 
Mythopoeika said:
Especially...don't do drugs and drive. :eek:
Click to expand...

That reminds me of the time I was decorating. The tin needed a scrub, paint drips all over it. After I had brushed up these drips I sat with a cuppa and checked the tin again. I happened to read the generic health and safety info which advised you to use the paint in well ventilated areas etc.

Further down I noticed a hazardous sign with text that read along the lines of, "never use such products whilst driving or operating machinery"

Has anyone every attempted to emulsion their ceilings whilst driving some vehicle? :) I did once stand on the sofa (it was covered up) which had tiny wheels - don't know if that qualifies?
 
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