Fortean Headlines

[Floyd]

"Wilson???"

Tom Hanks.

 

[Sid]

Tom Hanks.

Ah!

 

[Mythopoeika]

My husband's feet are so smelly a frog that crawled into his trainers 'was gassed to death'

Gemma Tyson, 40, was astonished to discover the dead amphibian in one of mechanic Brian’s Nikes.

She soon put phew and phew together and concluded the creature was overcome by the whiff.

She said Brian rarely changes his socks, which leads to a powerful honk.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/19203657/husband-feet-smelly-frog-gassed-to-death/

maximus otter

Those are Max Air trainers.

 

[ChasFink]

Mystery solved in the case of a woman walking a banana on a lead in Taunton.

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/mystery-solved-case-woman-walking-7329137

I haven't even read the story yet but I suspect it's not as good as it sounds...!

From the expert in the article:
“Also, I’d love it if more people were walking bananas around the UK. I’d like this to become a social movement that encourages people to embrace the bold and the bizarre. That would be hilarious!”

If too many people started doing this, the therapeutic value would disappear, since it's no longer an embarrassing act, but simply a useless part of everyday life. Do we need that?

 

[Yithian]

How duck 'soldiers' became this 300-year-old winemaker's secret weapon​

https://edition.cnn.com/travel/arti...rgenoegd-low-south-africa-spc-intl/index.html

 

[Floyd]

How duck 'soldiers' became this 300-year-old winemaker's secret weapon​

https://edition.cnn.com/travel/arti...rgenoegd-low-south-africa-spc-intl/index.html

Brilliant!

 

[Sprite666]

He could have been Dyson with death doing that...

https://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/...65mqLrBegF0boFjAbpN8tkcwXwB1QgS6x0MxDGYi5oZ_U

Does this mean in 9 months there'll be loads of these guys running round the church?

 

[ChasFink]

Not exactly a headline, but today on Wikipedia's home page, in the section Did you know...

... that a study published in the journal Celebrity Studies examined Pippa Middleton's buttocks using Marxist and Freudian analyses?

I think there's a Viz comic strip in that.

 

[Ronnie Jersey]

Hard to believe a dupa could really be that interesting.........LOL!

 

[Yithian]

How duck 'soldiers' became this 300-year-old winemaker's secret weapon​

https://edition.cnn.com/travel/arti...rgenoegd-low-south-africa-spc-intl/index.html

In case it isn't obvious, although the duck 'soldiers' are the main event here, the fact that there's a 300-year-old winemaker is remarkable in itself.

Similar to how a politician was recently described as an 'ex-magician's assistant'.

That's a degree of specificity readers do not usually require.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Hard to believe a dupa could really be that interesting.........LOL!

Maybe it's a 'super' dupa?

 

[Coal]

Not exactly a headline, but today on Wikipedia's home page, in the section Did you know...

I think there's a Viz comic strip in that.

Perhaps the protagonists could be called 'Sharon' and 'Tracey'?

 

[hunck]

Bodybuilder found with crack in backside says it’s time to ‘grow up’​

 

[Mythopoeika]

Bodybuilder found with crack in backside says it’s time to ‘grow up’​

Hope the doctors can stitch up that crack, ouch.

 

[EnolaGaia]

Bodybuilder found with crack in backside says it’s time to ‘grow up’​

Did he decide to grow up before or after finally learning he wasn't unique, and everyone has a crack in their backside?

 

[Bigphoot2]

You couldn't get a more Australian headline than this... or can you?

 

[Bigphoot2]

Oops

Two quad bikes are stolen from vehicle security specialists' trade stand at Great Yorkshire Show​

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/new...TbW2MTOx53Uu3R4Q_n2bodAOpj2tzEMPcCnH_9mIYZVB8

 

[Erinaceus]

The company specialises in providing electronic tracking and security devices for motorcycles and farm ATVs

So does that mean they hadn't installed their tracking devices on them or that it doesn't work?

 

[MorningAngel]

How did no one spot this?

Anger as Georgia school unveils new logo that resembles Nazi symbol​

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...a-nazi-symbol-logo-antisemitism-b2127120.html

 

[ramonmercado]

King Kong returns to Birmingham after 50 years​

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-birmingham-62253515

 

[ramonmercado]

Teacher tells court grabbing GAA player's testicles during match was 'not the best tackle'​

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/courtandcrime/arid-40923494.html

 

[Tunn11]

Teacher tells court grabbing GAA player's testicles during match was 'not the best tackle'​

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/courtandcrime/arid-40923494.html

How would he know it wasn't the best tackle until he'd grabbed it?

 

[Sollywos]

Another one from Australia

Eerie glow in sky confuses Australian town and outs cannabis farm​

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-62261094

 

[MorningAngel]

Why does this feel like the beginning of a film?

Blake Lemoine: Google fires engineer who said AI tech has feelings https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-62275326

 

[Trevp666]

Well, it could be - a 'prequel' to 'The Terminator'.
Which reminds me - the most recent in the franchise 'Dark Fate' (2019) is on the box tonight.

 

[Bad Bungle]

But how ?​

Astronauts warned not to masturbate in space as one session can 'impregnate 3 females'​

Astronauts have been warned about pleasuring themselves in space after it was revealed a single solitary session can accidentally impregnate female crew members.

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/we...-not-masturbate-space-27546310?int_source=nba

 

[Mythopoeika]

But how ?​

Astronauts warned not to masturbate in space as one session can 'impregnate 3 females'​

Astronauts have been warned about pleasuring themselves in space after it was revealed a single solitary session can accidentally impregnate female crew members.

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/we...-not-masturbate-space-27546310?int_source=nba

This sounds like so much nonsense.

 

[Bad Bungle]

This sounds like so much nonsense.

It's rocket science !

 

[Mythopoeika]

It's rocket science !

More like... ballistics.

 

[Trevp666]

It'd have to some kind of near-impossible feat to achieve though.
Currently there are only 10 people in space.
Only 3 of them are female.
2 of them are on the ISS and the other is on the Tiangong space station.
https://whoisinspace.com/