Ahem:
Real sign: "Be Our Guest" (on a chair at the local Bunnings"
I read it as: "Beer Our Guest"
Same week, Real quote: "I'm a bitch", "No, you're a skank"
I hear as "I'm a beer", "No, you're a keg"
Real quote: "I'm going out the front"
I hear something about "a grinch made of fruit"
Real quote: "I don't know what I want"
I hear: "No one's going to get any blob"
Admittedly my sister did have a HUGE wad of bubblegum in her mouth when she said that last one so surely I can be excused for mishearing it?