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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

JamesWhitehead said:
It is a very charming print and it can be read as an image of female empowerment - not least because of the dripping bellows on Chloë's floor, beside the bed! :rofl:
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isn't it lovely! I remember The Two Ronnies doing a serial about "It be big and it be black and it be hairy and I be afraid of it" (I think)..... which wasn't that in the end but was a deliberate mislead :D
 
Anecdote time .. this is a bit like one of those old 'Dr Pepper, what's the worst that could happen?' adverts ..

I used to have a mate called Jason in Burton on Trent .. anyway, he shoplifted a vibrator from an Anne Summers shop for his girlfriend once and got caught .. he had to go to magistrates court and everything, he told me they even held the vibrator aloft for all to see in court in 'exhibit A' stylee .. apparently the whole court were pissing themselves laughing while he stood there blushing .. perhaps that's why he only got a fine, for giving the judge a good laugh ? .. he also got named and shamed in The Burton Mail newspaper for his crime, we cut the article out and framed it as a gift for him :) ..
 
I was once in a relationship with a witch, who woke me up one night on a full moon, in the dark and before I could even speak, we at it in the dark. The problem was that I started to hallucinate that I was in two places at one time. I was there with her and at the same time I seemed to be having sex with an unknown woman on the floor of a flower shop or a gift shop of some sort. It was too dark to tell. The next morning I asked my friend if one of her coven members owned a flower or gift shop of some sort. She certainly wouldn't say, so I went my merry way.
 
Elsupremo said:
I was once in a relationship with a witch, who woke me up one night on a full moon, in the dark and before I could even speak, we at it in the dark. The problem was that I started to hallucinate that I was in two places at one time. I was there with her and at the same time I seemed to be having sex with an unknown woman on the floor of a flower shop or a gift shop of some sort. It was too dark to tell. The next morning I asked my friend if one of her coven members owned a flower or gift shop of some sort. She certainly wouldn't say, so I went my merry way.
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I hate it when that happens.
 
Christmas sex robot festival

I've just learned that teledildonics is a word. Where's OWB?
Top academics in the field of robotics and human-computer interaction will come together [fnarr fnarrr] at Goldsmiths University, south east London, to discuss the future of artificial sex.
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It's in December if you want to go.
 
Swifty said:
At a bar I used to work at, I was once pranked by some bloke ordering a drink with a durex hanging over his shoulder who was pretending he didn't know it was there. If that helps.
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I'm wondering for what legitimate reason would you have a durex on your shoulder?..

Also was it used or unused? Just to complete the picture.
 
hunck said:
I'm wondering for what legitimate reason would you have a durex on your shoulder?..

Also was it used or unused? Just to complete the picture.
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In those early punk days, the Girls Mum wore unopened condoms as earrings.
 
I thought this was a spoof at first, and Bradley Chavet sounds like a dodgy name... turns out it is for real.

The Indie covered this earlier in the year when the plan was to have prostitutes sucking off the clients in the cafe.

As that seems to have been kyboshed by the law, he's now planning to go ahead with robots. :huh:

An entrepreneur who hopes to open London’s first ‘fellatio cafe’ has revealed his staff will be made up entirely of sex robots.

Businessman Bradley Charvet, who plans to open the ‘blow job cafe’ in Paddington, claims the sex-bots will be programmable to a person’s needs and will soon be seen as “totally normal.”

A 15-minute oral sex session with an espresso will set punters back just £60 (US$78). Hungry patrons will have to pay extra for a pastry.

The coffee shop is due to open after Charvet launches his first cafe in Geneva, Switzerland, later this year.
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RT.com
 
OneWingedBird said:
I thought this was a spoof at first, and Bradley Chavet sounds like a dodgy name... turns out it is for real.

The Indie covered this earlier in the year when the plan was to have prostitutes sucking off the clients in the cafe.

As that seems to have been kyboshed by the law, he's now planning to go ahead with robots. :huh:

RT.com
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I'll be blowed if I'm going there.
 
Blow all you like, darling, but bad coffee always shrinks it*! :cool:

*This excuse can be used in private homes as well. Not that I ever need to, of course. :oops:
 
I've spent the last few weeks reading, researching and writing about Ludovico Maria Sinistrari. He was a Franciscan Friar who set out to write a book about all of the sins that we might commit and the appropriate ways to punish these sins.

His book has a chapter on sodomy that is hilariously naive. He claims that some women have giant clitorises that pop out of their bodies and thus enable them to sodomize their lovers.

The book ends with a small chapter on demoniality (sex with demons). Nearly two centuries after Sinistrari died, a bookseller in France came across an unabridged draft of this chapter and published it. The unabridged version posits that there are several kinds of demons, and that it's only a serious sin if you have sex with a cacodaemon (one of satan's servants). The other types of demons are all fair game.

Sinistrari himself claims that satyrs, fauns and centaurs are probably all real (and horny), and later writers have taken his descriptions of "spirits" and matched them with different monsters. He has come up on this board before in threads on bigfoot and aliens. Whitley Strieber references him in Communion, his book about getting abducted and raped by aliens. Montague Summers claims that the fairies of Celtic lore fit pretty neatly into Sinistrari's description of sexy spirits too. Personally, if I had to pick one of the above to have sex with, I'd go with the alien, perhaps the least hairy of the options.

I wrote 2 fairly lengthy blog posts that go into much more detail if anyone is interested. Here is the one on Sodomy, and here is the one on Demoniality.
 
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Mythopoeika said:
Those women are called 'men'.
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Not quite. Sinistrari explains further;

"in the aforesaid girls, no scrotum appeared with its tackles, no beard with a manly voice, nor did the cleft in the female cuntus disappear either, the clitoris alone broke out, and people believed it was a man's yard, it looked so like one."

The whole book is available online. The bit about clitorises starts around page 14.
 
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