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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

Sex outside is a dangerous business - your next door neighbour might have a motion-activated security light. ;)

I've heard about burglars dumping on the carpet before they leave - my friend's house was burgled and they found a box of Tampax in the cupboard and threw them around the room. Why??!!! Misogynistic or something?
 
Do you think legions of burglars roam the streets with their mate-burglars until one of them needs a shit?

'Quick...into an 'ouse'
'Which one?'
'I dunno, who cares? Quick it's coming!'

???:D :mad: :mad:

Perhaps we should start a campaign. If you get burgled, go down to the courts to hear the defendants address, then put all your doings in sandwhich bags and post them through their letter boxes?! well...they obviously like the stuff...and they obviously don't think it's a health hazard, do they?...Go on...DO it!:devil:
 
Chant said:
Perhaps we should start a campaign. If you get burgled, go down to the courts to hear the defendants address, then put all your doings in sandwhich bags and post them through their letter boxes?! well...they obviously like the stuff...and they obviously don't think it's a health hazard, do they?...Go on...DO it!:devil:
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But wouldn't that be... rather naughty? :p

Of course, now the old chestnut "Never Buy a Pig in a Poke" takes on new meaning.....:D
 
This thread's certainly an education:D

When I was a lecturer in the mid 90s, one of the colleges I worked at had a small livestock area, for some unspecified reason. One day, the local shouting, special brew-drinking mad bloke was found, trousers round his ankles, trying to shag the college goat, which by all accounts was furiously resisting his advances. The police were called sharpish, and he was removed, effing and blinding at the by then sizable crowd! I didn't witness it myself, but it definitely happened, because all staff later received a memo from the Principal's office, threatening dire retribution on anyone who talked to the press about it!

One other story comes to mind. Way back, as a teenager, one of my friends was spotted by the girl who lived next door to him, behind his parents' garden shed, giving his all to a rolled-up carpet. To this day, he doesn't know that we all know about this, though at his wedding, the best man managed to get a "shag pile" comment into his speech, to the amusement of all us pissed blokes sitting in the corner, and the bemusement of pretty much everyone else. Given that he would be around 15 at the time, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, and think this was an "American Pie"-like case of uncontrollable teenage hormones rather than a secret kink for floor coverings...
 
Hi, my first posting and it's on this bizairre thread. Hope I'm not casting the die here.

A mate of mine worked on the dungerness construction project, and there were many people living on site. One of the foremen left unexpectedly, leaving his accomodation/caravan thing locked. As he owed money (poker) his collegues (my mate included) busted in to see if they could nick anything in lieu of payment.

Nothing of value was left, however in the fridge were neat foil wrapped packets of shit! It was assumed they were his own.

Answers on a postcard please...............

:blah:
 
What's that one when people dress up in animal costumes, like 'DisneyWorld' style, and meet up. It's fairly innocent - it's a way for shy people to express themselves. Look here.

I once had to dress up as a furry cat, but that was in a pantomime....
 
AMPHIARAUS said:
Hi, my first posting and it's on this bizairre thread. Hope I'm not casting the die here.
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You can hardly move for posting on bizarre threads here :)
I wouldn't worry about it.
 
AMPHIARAUS said:
Nothing of value was left, however in the fridge were neat foil wrapped packets of shit! It was assumed they were his own.

Answers on a postcard please...............
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Dungeness, that's a Nuclear power station, isn't it?

Perhaps they were samples for radiological analysis? You never know. :eek!!!!:
 
Hi Androman.

That piccy at the bottom of your message. Was it discovered wrapped in tin foil???

:p
 
AMPHIARAUS said:
That piccy at the bottom of your message. Was it discovered wrapped in tin foil???
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Now, that I don't know. Antediluvian clingfilm perhaps? :p
 
Re: Sexsomnia...

David Raven said:
'... people who engage in sexual behaviour while asleep. They believe the disorder should be recognized as a new "clinical entity" .'
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:eek!!!!: :blush:
 
Whilst searching for web-sites on my twin passions of church flower arranging and whippet breeding I discovered that you can buy videos of women sleeping. it seems some people really get off on this.......and they charge a small fortune for the tapes.

I wonder if that old camcorder is still working...........................??
 
I know somebody who did that, obviously this is only what he told me, I haven't experienced it first hand (so to speak)
 
First post, please be gental with me?

I have, over many years seen and heard of many fetishes, so I thought with this thread open I'd post a few examples

Slugs/snails/worms/eels/fish/frogs anything slimy.
But slimy and moving is better:

Some ladies and gentle men have been known to use slugs and others lovely things on their private parts, sometimes during masturbation but sometimes they slip them in their keks before shopping, for a little extra thrill.

Amputation:

This can be linked to body dysmophia (guessed spelling), but not only is their sexual desire to have ones own limbs severed, but they also get off by licking other stumps, and of course there is always stump insertion to consider.

Cutting:

Although I missed the artical in "On Our Backs" I gather the release feeling that self harmers feel is translocated into sexual pleasure, but cutting is also a tool used by some doms, either the best or the the worst.

Inflation:

Saline is injected directly into body parts to in-flate them, for example the scrotom, the labia majora/minora, breasts or even the pubic pad (I think).

Necrophila-play:

One of the fetishists pretends to be dead while the other has sex with them, it is featuredin a film about bull fighters which ends with a double orgasm murder.

Erotic-executionism:

A person who wishes to die at the point of orgasm and regularly fantasies about it, it's popped-up on channel-4 and the case they feature'd shows it is sometimes acted upon.

Necro-Beastialty:

Sex with dead animals, what more could you want.

Ring fetish:

Only heard of it once and all it involved was the spinning of rings on a ladies finger during sex.

Dentist-dom:

Again I've only heard if this once but some-one wanted a dom to remove all of his teeth with a pair of plillers and with-out painkillers

Armpit hair:

Sniffed during the act.

Canibalism:

Again this can be from both sides the eater or the eaten.
Can also be linked to snuff fetishes.

Gyno-phile:

A person who gets off from having gynocological procedures performed on them, or the flip side somone who enjoys the performing then.
(I have found pictures of men being inspected which is more funny then any thing.)


Thats all I can come up with off the top of my head but I do know of a site that used sell animal dildo's, including the ever popular lion, the big knotted dog, horse of course and where would we be with-out our good old trusty dolphin c##k

I would link to it but it's an off shoot to a hardocre couples fisting site.
however google cooked up another one
http://www.zoofur.com/animalp.htm

(I can understand why they do it, but how they do it is a mystery to me?)

P.S.
Sex In The City, is set in new york so why to my knowledge (a small and weak thing) have they not featured Betty Dodson or Annie Sprinkle or any of other great sexual explorers that have breeze'd in and out of the city over the years.

So, is it more Sex then City? or more City then Sex?


http://www.sexualrecords.com
 
Now canibalism reminds me of a recent case in Germany. Whereby a guy volunteered to be slaughtered and eaten by another, whilst having the whole lot video taped. Apparently, they ate his genitalia together before he was finally killed.
Now that IS weird and rather sick.
 
I read that in FT, of all places. (Imagine that, someone mentioning Fortean Times on this board!) I thought then, as I do now:
EEEEWUEUUUUUUUUUUUURGH!!!!!!

Sorry about that.
 
You should have seen the article in "Stern" (you'd have to read german for that of course) and that was just double YEUCCCCCCCCCCCCCH
 
Gimauche,

Could you explain to us the German preoccupation with weeing and pooing on people?
 
Errrr no..... although german's are well known for their anally retentive tendency. Maybe it's there way of rebellung against all that "Ordnung". My boyfriend claims that it is the French who particularly enjoy peeing on each other, and that's why he always checks his matrace when checking into a french hotel.
 
(A couple of extracts from Strange But True The Worlds Weirdest Newspaper Stories by Tim Healey)

I dont know why when I was writting my post I didn't think of Peter Kurten, the vampire of dusseldorf, I think he was sexually motivated, as most crimes that involve bodily difilement are, he addmitted to 68 crimes including cutting the heads off swans and drinking blood from their necks when he was a child.
(Tried 1930 beheaded in july1932 in cologne.)

Another german Vampire this time the Hanover vampire.
Fritz Haarmann

A quote of a quote

"Surffice to say that Haarmann was a sexual degenerate, that he lured boys (12-18) into his house, and after giving a sumptous meal he would praise the looks of his young guest. Then, later, in a room upstairs. the crime was commited."
"The end was always the same. Haarmann held his victim down and killed him with a bite to the throat. the monster's teeth held tight until the young life was gone"
Aparantly he was a black marketeer during and after WW1 and like many other of his kind traded in meat of uncertain origin, only after his trial the origin wasn't that uncertain.

I'm guessing that Kuten was inspired by Haarmaan, but the two probably did'nt have a link.

The peeing thing, although some countries seam to have it attributed to them, it's actually quite common in most countries with good sanitation, I think it's to do with the taboo of it being dirty.
I have read reports from quite a few experts on the subject and have heard doctors testomy
(On "This Morning" of all places) and as long as it's fresh and as there is nothing wrong with the pee'er it's quite safe, but certainly not to most peoples taste, the only thing that turns me off about it, is the tempeture, like sitting in some-one else's seat.
It's fun watch V Graham Norton when they have one of those p*ss funnels after you've seen a girl peeing in a urinial while standing up with no aids at all and not spilling a drop.

The only fetish that really turns me off is Squishing where pretty girls in high heels stamp on small furry animals, a ring that sold
films of it were closed down either this year or last I think/hope.

I can't believe no-ones noticed the dragon penis for sale, not only can these people find live dragons, but they've convinced them the stay still while Cynthia plaster caster has her wicked way with them.
 
Toss up (pardon pun :)) as to whether this belongs in Weird Sex or Ridiculous Accidents..
BREMERTON, WA - Christopher Coulter and his wife, Emily, were engaging in bondage games when Christopher suggested spreading peanut butter on his genitals and letting Rudy, their Irish Setter, lick them clean. Sadly, Rudy lost control and began tearing at Christopher's penis and testicles. Rudy refused to obey commands and a panicked Emily threw a half-gallon bottle of perfume at the dog. The bottle broke, covering the dog and Christopher with perfume. Startled, Rudy leaped back, tearing away the penis. While trying to get her unconscious husband in the car to take him to the hospital, Emily fell twice, injuring her wrist and ankle. Christopher's penis was in a styrofoam ice cooler. "Chris is just plain lucky, "said the surgeon who spent eight hours reattaching the penis "Believe it or not, the perfume turned out to be very fortuitous. The high alcohol content, which must have been excruciatingly painful, helped sterilize the wound. Also, aside from its being removed, the damage caused by the dog's teeth to the penis per se is minimal. It's really a very stringy piece of flesh. Mr Coulter stands an excellent chance of regaining the use of his limb because of this". Washington Animal Control has no plans to seize Rudy.
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From MildlyAmusingArea, home of the Darwin Awards (can spend all day in that site :)).
 

'Mr Coulter stands an excellent chance of regaining the use of his limb because of this".
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errr.... limb? LIMB?!! :blush: Is that the correct anatomical classification or is Mr Coulter just very well endowed?
 
I was contacted via Yaho IM once by a fella who wanted me to sprinkle him with fairy dust to shrink him and them carry him around in my pocket ... :confused:

And I am regularly contacted by little men who want to know if I could pick them up and carry them around ...

I was considering saying yes, but it'll cost you €500 per hour ...
 
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