Analogue Boy
Bar 6
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2005
- Messages
- 13,547
Worst movie ever. I rest my case.
(or it could be the best)
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Who are the stuntmen for Steven's straight to video blockbusters?Who is actually watching all these straight to DVD films Seagal churns out? Someone must be. But no-one's admitting it.
Quite right - that's the audience.Who are the stuntmen for Steven's straight to video blockbusters?
ps. i can confirm that chicks were also involved... my fuzziest memories of it was lots of blokes in primary colour outfits and motorcycle helmets ...
Women aren't chickens dude .. and dudes aren't amiable Americans .. and dudes are actually camels vaginas .. (look it up, I'm not lying)ps. i can confirm that chicks were also involved
I agree. Watching Pierce Brosnan trying to sing is sheer entertainment value.Swifty, I hate to say it, but you're wrong on Mamma Mia. It's not the sort of film I'd choose to watch, but having sat through it twice with (female, natch) family members, I can honestly say that I look forward to certain moments, such as Pierce Brosnan singing "SOS", or Julie Walters belting out "Take a Chance on Me". Those moments are few and far between, and the film is intensely silly and ultimately pointless, but worst ever? Nah.
But your two pictured films were intentionally shitty ... Mamma Mia ? .. A previously sexually happily promiscuous lady has managed to buy a very expensive looking villa somehow .. let's not worry about how .. for no good reason she contacts all the blokes she shagged around that time and they actually decide to spend money to visit her at her expensive villa .. let's not worry why .. so all these blokes hang around at her villa .. everyone takes turns singing ABBA songs (as you do) and then we eventually learn who is the real father (again never explained how) and then they sing a bit more ABBA .. and then the real father ends up coming up with "Hey! .. don't worry guys ! .. we can all be her dad ! " .. yeah .. right .. of course that would happen ..Swifty, I hate to say it, but you're wrong on Mamma Mia. It's not the sort of film I'd choose to watch, but having sat through it twice with (female, natch) family members, I can honestly say that I look forward to certain moments, such as Pierce Brosnan singing "SOS", or Julie Walters belting out "Take a Chance on Me". Those moments are few and far between, and the film is intensely silly and ultimately pointless, but worst ever? Nah.
Choosing "worst film" candidates has become like shooting fish in a barrel since the expansion of Freeview and the proliferation of channels such as "Movies for Men" (now Sony something), "True Entertainment" and, dare I say it, "The Horror Channel". I thought it was time to select something different...
Most of you will be aware of the selection of DVDs at Poundland - I believe that they're re-packaged "as new" via someone like Music Magpie. You can get some pretty decent films there, but also some dross. Spotted in a Poundland only yesterday:
View attachment 4001
2 for the price of... well, 2. Apologies for the picture quality - I was far too self-conscious to take my time over snapping these. You'll notice that Raiders of the Lost Shark has the taglines "The perfect so-bad-it's awesome movie" and "even Indiana Jones can't get out of this one!". Hmm... while Sharknado 2 ("the second one", "shark happens" stars Ian Ziering, who I'm fairly sure I don't remember from the Oscars.
I haven't bought these, let alone watched them, but nonetheless, I thought they both belonged here.
We are if you liked 50 Shades Of Grey (just kidding Peripart) .. I thought the film was dire but I watched it with low expectations already .. I wanted to give it a chance .. I love John Oliver's review of it : "It was so boring my penis yawned" ...Hey, I didn't say it was a good film... !
As for the other films, I can't accept the excuse of being intentionally shitty. Trying to be crap is neither big nor clever, and it's cetainly in no way ironic.
On the other hand, it's a game of opinions, and we're not going to fall out over which terrible film is slightly worse than another!
I doubt that's worse than Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.
She stands prowed.That woman is a danger to shipping.