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Worst Movie EVER?

Not the worst movie ever, by a long chalk. But a couple of years ago I found myself watching the film adaptation of Jo Nesbo's The Snowman with an almost horrified sense of howtheHELLdidyoufuckthatupsobadly.

I'm not what I'd call a mad fan of Nesbo, but he's very readable, often intelligent, and the books are generally well-paced and plotted. A total amateur could storyboard the movie from a skeleton of the novel's plot - you'd hardly have to do a bloody thing to cobble together a tense, bloody, pacey, good-looking thriller. So why does it look like it was filmed in a weekend by a novice director and a third grade drama school cast from a script that was sellotaped together by a blind monkey after someone's dog tried to eat it?
 
Spookdaddy said:
Not the worst movie ever, by a long chalk. But a couple of years ago I found myself watching the film adaptation of Jo Nesbo's The Snowman with an almost horrified sense of howtheHELLdidyoufuckthatupsobadly.

I'm not what I'd call a mad fan of Nesbo, but he's very readable, often intelligent, and the books are generally well-paced and plotted. A total amateur could storyboard the movie from a skeleton of the novel's plot - you'd hardly have to do a bloody thing to cobble together a tense, bloody, pacey, good-looking thriller. So why does it look like it was filmed in a weekend by a novice director and a third grade drama school cast from a script that was sellotaped together by a blind monkey after someone's dog tried to eat it?
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Lost in translation?:)
 
Spookdaddy said:
Not the worst movie ever, by a long chalk. But a couple of years ago I found myself watching the film adaptation of Jo Nesbo's The Snowman with an almost horrified sense of howtheHELLdidyoufuckthatupsobadly.

I'm not what I'd call a mad fan of Nesbo, but he's very readable, often intelligent, and the books are generally well-paced and plotted. A total amateur could storyboard the movie from a skeleton of the novel's plot - you'd hardly have to do a bloody thing to cobble together a tense, bloody, pacey, good-looking thriller. So why does it look like it was filmed in a weekend by a novice director and a third grade drama school cast from a script that was sellotaped together by a blind monkey after someone's dog tried to eat it?
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Basically, they ran out of time and were forced to construct a film from various odds and sods they had managed to get on camera. It was a total fiasco.
 
GNC said:
Basically, they ran out of time and were forced to construct a film from various odds and sods they had managed to get on camera. It was a total fiasco.
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Apparently they only filmed about 85% of the script. Oops!
 
Some big names involved in this.

Chaos Walking: Tom Holland & Daisy Ridley Film 'Deemed Unreleasable'

The film, which stars Tom Holland, Daisy Ridley and Mads Mikkelsen, is currently undergoing reshoots
Though director Doug Liman's Chaos Walking was originally set for a March 1, 2019 release, Lionsgate confirmed earlier this year that date would be missed. Now, we know why.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the film -- which has already cost Lionsgate $100 million -- has “turned out so poorly it was deemed unreleasable by executives who watched initial cuts last year, according to current and former employees.”
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https://www.cbr.com/chaos-walking-unreleasable/
 
What's this? "The Room of anthology horror movies"? Made by heavy metal rocker Glenn Danzig? Who apparently can't see what's so flippin' funny about it?

See this article:
Hello Glenn Danzig

According to that, by ten minutes in the scattered laughs in the audience had become a near-riot of hilarity which continued even past the end credits. Sounds like he might be a tad touchy, sadly, so who knows when we'll get to see it?
 
Lord Lucan said:
Once finished with the above, may I suggest you watch 'Birdemic' Here is the best scene from one of the worst film. Full version available on YouTube.


It would have made a fine double bill with 'Hercules in New York' with Arnold Schwarzenegger, another film which is a contender for worst movie of all time.
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I bought that from Poundland a while ago.

Apparently when it was originally released they had another actor overdub Arnie's lines since they feared his strong Austrian accent would be incomprehensible to a US audience.

The version I bought had restored Arnie's original dialogue. IIRC he was listed in the credits as Arnold Strong.

Awful film. Not Arnie's fault at all. Just an appalling script and a miniscule budget.
 
Star Crash and its "sequel" Star Crash 2 (aka Escape From Galaxy Three). The two movies are woeful, and unconnected in any way. other than Star Crash 2 uses the battle scenes from the first movie. Both utter mind rot, and a brilliant way of spending a rainy afternoon!
 
graylien said:
I bought that from Poundland a while ago.

Apparently when it was originally released they had another actor overdub Arnie's lines since they feared his strong Austrian accent would be incomprehensible to a US audience.

The version I bought had restored Arnie's original dialogue. IIRC he was listed in the credits as Arnold Strong.

Awful film. Not Arnie's fault at all. Just an appalling script and a miniscule budget.
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Wow, that was bad!
 
Tigerhawk said:
Star Crash and its "sequel" Star Crash 2 (aka Escape From Galaxy Three). The two movies are woeful, and unconnected in any way. other than Star Crash 2 uses the battle scenes from the first movie. Both utter mind rot, and a brilliant way of spending a rainy afternoon!
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I quite like Star Crash. Haven't seen the sequel.

My only issue with Star Crash is they got another actress to overdub Caroline Munro's voice, since they apparently couldn't afford to fly her back over from England for the dubbing session. I like Caroline Munro, me, and she has a lovely voice.

And yet they DID have the budget to hire John Barry to write the soundtrack. Given this was during his peak period as the main composer for the Bond films, he must have cost a pretty penny.

Apparently Caroline is now involved in The Ray Harryhausen Foundation. She does a lot of convention appearances and is apparently lovely towards her fans.
 
graylien said:
I quite like Star Crash. Haven't seen the sequel.

My only issue with Star Crash is they got another actress to overdub Caroline Munro's voice, since they apparently couldn't afford to fly her back over from England for the dubbing session. I like Caroline Munro, me, and she has a lovely voice.

And yet they DID have the budget to hire John Barry to write the soundtrack. Given this was during his peak period as the main composer for the Bond films, he must have cost a pretty penny.

Apparently Caroline is now involved in The Ray Harryhausen Foundation. She does a lot of convention appearances and is apparently lovely towards her fans.
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I honestly had no idea there had been a sequel to Star Crash. I suppose I enjoyed the original, even though (perhaps because) it was dreadful. Ms Munro made it worth watching for me, as she did so many films.
 
It's not really a sequel, just a reuse of the battle scenes, and with no connection to Star Crash, just a title. Or the alternate title Escape From Galaxy Three., which they could have gone with, but wanted to cash in on a movie that was cashing in on Star Wars...
 
Dinobot said:
It's not really a sequel, just a reuse of the battle scenes, and with no connection to Star Crash, just a title. Or the alternate title Escape From Galaxy Three., which they could have gone with, but wanted to cash in on a movie that was cashing in on Star Wars...
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Is Curvy Caroline in it?
 
graylien said:
I bought that from Poundland a while ago.

Apparently when it was originally released they had another actor overdub Arnie's lines since they feared his strong Austrian accent would be incomprehensible to a US audience.

The version I bought had restored Arnie's original dialogue. IIRC he was listed in the credits as Arnold Strong.

Awful film. Not Arnie's fault at all. Just an appalling script and a miniscule budget.
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The bit with the bear attack is comedy gold, however. Funnily enough, when Ahnold's old nemesis (or was it the other way around?) Lou Ferrigno was in his Hercules movie in the 1980s, he also had a scene with a bear that was comedy gold. Coincidence?
 
graylien said:
My only issue with Star Crash is they got another actress to overdub Caroline Munro's voice, since they apparently couldn't afford to fly her back over from England for the dubbing session. I like Caroline Munro, me, and she has a lovely voice.

And yet they DID have the budget to hire John Barry to write the soundtrack. Given this was during his peak period as the main composer for the Bond films, he must have cost a pretty penny.
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Barry was going through a costly divorce at the time so was taking as much work as he could to pay for it, so I don't think he was being paid well, he was simply undiscriminating thanks to his circumstances.
 
Tigerhawk said:
Star Crash and its "sequel" Star Crash 2 (aka Escape From Galaxy Three). The two movies are woeful, and unconnected in any way. other than Star Crash 2 uses the battle scenes from the first movie. Both utter mind rot, and a brilliant way of spending a rainy afternoon!
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Just watched Star Crash on Youtube.
I can't believe how bad it was. And some proper names were attached to it too (Christopher Plummer, John Barry).
 
Why's everyone complaining about Starcrash??

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